A Free Community Anchored in Love

Good Morning!

Today, I’d love to continue with insights we’ve been sharing in this sermon series, called Your Faith Journey at Reservoir.   We’ve been highlighting our five core values –  that make way for an open, Jesus-centered approach to your faith journey. These values; Connection, Action, Everyone, Freedom and Humility form the ethos of Reservoir – who we are and why/how we think about faith the way we do. We’ve realized that it’s worthwhile to be intentional each year to communicate this in a clear way –  that doesn’t leave anyone wondering – if there is some “catch” attached or trade-off that’s required – to belong in this community.

Today we’ll take a closer look  at the value of freedom.  I’m eager to talk about freedom – not as a stand alone value, that we exercise to engage and showcase our own individualism  – but one that orchestrates our deep connection to one another in community.   I think freedom – at its most beautiful expression in a faith community – is not seen in us traveling down our own very distinct freedom paths – (what I believe, experience or know of God) – that never intersect with one another.  I think freedom is what calls our paths to intersect – to collaborate – to learn from one another and move forward in this world together. 

Our individual freedom is necessary to a vibrant and healthy experience of faith  – but it benefits from being situated in relationship with others, even if the freedom expressed by others is strikingly different than our own… 

….and the only way to do this is to be anchored in a unifying, divine source of love – which we find in Jesus.  

I’ve come to believe that Jesus alone is perfect theology (hat tip to Brad Jersack)- Period.  The way I think about and approach the Bible, or prayer, or community – all flow from Jesus. I’m being reverent here.  As a pastor of this community – I hope to communicate that at a baseline – life with Jesus at the center is really, really good news.  It’s why we’ve taken time to define our values the way we do – and why we define freedom here at Reservoir as: “honest exploration of faith over conformity of belief or behavior, trusting that the Holy Spirit reveals truth to all who seek God.

Freedom is a value that we encourage here at Reservoir NOT ONLY  because it allows us movement toward Jesus – BUT because it also CALLS us to be an active participant in keeping ACCESS to JESUS, FREE AND CLEAR FOR ALL without hindrance – and this means that even our freedom can’t overtake someone else’s view of Jesus. 

Over the last month or so we’ve queried our community groups – to give voice to where and how they’ve found Jesus to be good and real in their lives…. And how Reservoir has helped facilitate the experience of the love of Jesus.  And out of this process has come deep, deep insight and wisdom, the greatest theme being that people experience the love of Jesus …..through BAGELS… (I’m not joking). Sesame bagels, everything bagels, chocolate chip bagels – they are all mentioned…many, many times.  

And second to the holy wonder of bagels were themes that hit at all of the 5 core values we’ve been talking about. And the table that I sat at expressed their thoughts by saying, 

“What we feel is that Reservoir seems committed to the struggle of keeping the widest most open doors possible. Our church is willing to sit in risk and vulnerability and open belief statements such as ‘we don’t know,’ or ‘what do you think?’ All of this leads to a room full of FREE, diverse people where love thrives in the multiplicity of human beings and all they bring to the community.”  

I think, “Oh my goodness that’s so beautiful” … and simultaneously, “Aaah, Here is where freedom gets real and messy and gritty – as we actually live it out alongside one another…” Here is where freedom shows the prowess of its value…the complexity of it – because   IT IS A STRUGGLE my friends to uphold freedom, the widest doors possible – WITH JESUS SMACK DAB IN THE CENTER _ alongside values of humility, alongside a value of connection, alongside the value of everyone – and REALLY mean it. It takes risk, and vulnerability and trust of the whole community. 

And as much as we regard Freedom as a powerful means for individual rights- when this value is found in the context of a faith community – it demands a higher standard – it demands a higher centering than our self wants or needs or perception – and that is the standard of love, found in Jesus. 

Both of my parents became followers of Jesus, when my mom was pregnant with me.  

The “good news” came to them through a traveling gospel salesman who came on foot – and knocked on their door and “Led them to the Lord,” as they say.

I was born into a community of faith that had found its legs in legalism, setting deep grooves of expected adherence to belief, Bible, prayer, behavior, dress …. but never spoken of course – on those terms – but spoken in terms of love and freedom in Jesus. 

It was expected that kids sit through all services, there were many services – and they were often (very) LONG!   And at the age of 5 or 6, myself and a friend – drew up a survival plan – which was to diligently find in our Bibles – every scripture that was referenced in the sermon – and copy it down as fast as possible – verse by verse… before the next one was mentioned!  My favorite scripture for a long time was the story in Matthew ….”where Jesus calls a little child to him, and then said to those around him,  “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like a child, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. If anyone causes one of these kids to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” [taken from Matthew 18:5-6]

I LOVED that scripture! 🙂

I would use that scripture  anytime I could at home – especially when I felt like my rights – my freedom was getting stepped on by my parents. Which – of course as a child was ALL THE TIME. 

I wouldn’t understand for many years how  this unassuming method of utilizing scripture to make it through a boring service was maybe less my unique individualism at play, and more an absorption of compliant behavior I understood of my environs. Scripture would prove to be an effective mode in my faith journey –  by which I would learn to follow the prescription to my “goodness”/my holiness – which could then lead to my experience of Freedom in Jesus

Throughout the history of American society we see these great markers of power  and freedom – that may for equality and brought to light injustice:

Starting with the Declaration of Independence

The Bill of Rights

The Abolition of Slavery

The Era of Immigration “learning to breathe free,” from 1880 – 1920

The 19th Amendment that gave women the right to vote

The Civil Rights Act 1964

2015 – Supreme Court decision for same-sex couples to marry.

Nestled in these historical moments is ‘freedom’ born out of community.  A communal voice expressed – of human beings valuing connection to one another that is unified by a hope and a dream to “change the world‘: to create a new society,  to make a better life for everyone…. And somehow through communal effort  – change is effected.

(And sure, we are revisiting some of these freedom moments and finding problems that require us to go back to the patriarchal systems and structures they were born out of –  we need to critically engage – and move forward with new ideas.)

I think the same can be said at times of faith communities, that there is a deep communal bond that allows the church the freedom to be and become – The freedom to collectively create an ever-evolving body or church, a new kin-dom of God here and now.

But we also know –  from history and experience – that freedom is not always easy to navigate, doesn’t always bubble up as a widespread, agreed upon value, and is often met with struggle and resistance.

And to add to that struggle is the subtle, shifting definition of freedom over time.

Brad Jersack the author of “A More Christ-Like God” (a book we read as a staff), says that freedom has moved in American culture to be defined by society as “Getting what I want, by doing what I want”– but has shifted even more so, in the last 20 years toward “keeping what I have – by doing what I must.” This definition relays a more defensive stance – a guarding and a protective stance – and one that has taken up greater claim. And it’s hard  when we feel like our freedom – our rights-  or our security is threatened. It calls up in us that need to defend and guard freedom –  often vehemently in Jesus’ very name.

As a young, young child I was taught just how great God’s love for me was – how grateful and thankful I should be for such a display of this expansive display of love –  especially for someone like me who didn’t deserve it.  The greatest thing I could do to touch or honor such love – was to adhere, comply, obey the beliefs that my community purported of God.   My own worth and belonging in this faith journey depended on my firm grasp, the ability to articulate…to defend my faith, and uphold this great God against inevitable attacks.

As I mentioned I took to scribing all the scriptures spoken in service – and as I mentioned so many of these services went really long.   My Dad was a deacon and I helped him often set up the metal, folding chairs at the back of the room where the overflow, the “latecomers” would sit.  It was also where we sat, because we were humble servants of the Lord.  

On one of those evenings, I was close to finishing copying the Scripture into my little book – the one I loved to take to school the next day and read to people, (because I took it as my role to grow the field of Jesus followers single-handedly).  But I was also battling my need to go to the bathroom.  I was trying so hard to get those last few verses to paper – AFRAID that if I left for the bathroom, I would surely miss the next Bible reference….and so I stood my ground, I didn’t move.   I didn’t make it to the bathroom. I peed in the folding chair. (Which is VERY noticeable by the way, when it’s a metal chair, and you have to fold it up and walk it to the stack of chairs in the corner of the room).

Sorry if that story was T.M.I. (too much information!)

It’s a memory that wouldn’t let go of me as I was framing this sermon – sometimes the littlest of moments, the smallest of memories – hold the deepest truths.  This deep truth still lives in my body: that at the age of 6 years old, I was in an environment of faith where I really wasn’t free.  I was anxiety-ridden, nervous, fearful. And the container of my experience of faith was hinged on “power,” not love. The focus was compliance and control of belief and behavior. 

Where compliance is heralded –  anxiety and fear reign.

Compliance: Comply to the behavior expected – ex/ Don’t get up in service.  Learn all the scripture you can (this is critical), because…

Anxiety:  If you don’t have all the scripture written down – you will be ill-equipped the next day at school.  This woul be unfortunate because you need to make sure everyone else knows the prescription of holiness to get to God. A pervasive tone of anxiety of whether I was taking in or doing enough. Was I enough? 

Fear to move: I was literally unwilling to move, driven by fear. For me it manifested in a physical manner. But maybe you can see the more universal commonality here in this small story – that plays out in broader strokes around you. Of how the need to “stick and defend your ground, at all costs,” becomes the standard of belonging. Of how the capacity to be unwavering, immoveable is somehow a sign of taking your freedom and love of Jesus seriously. 

In this pursuit of freedom – where a defensive and protective stance is taken up – and anxiety and fear reign as the contributing forces, we often end up separating from community, losing sight of our bonding VISION (of JESUS)… AND even within our communities we categorize who’s “in” or “out”… who’s against “us” or with “us”… those who aren’t deemed as “with us” – who might approach God differently – or interpret the Bible in a “wrong” way – or just display too much difference. In an effort to ensure their compliant behavior and get them “back on track” – we end up stepping on their “rights and freedoms and violate their peace and security” (Jersack, 52). When we craft a road to freedom that rests on self-will and preservation, it craves mastery and power. 

Jesus and his apostles thankfully give us a different definition of freedom – a freedom that doesn’t require any defending  – and is found in Jesus, his very body. 

Let’s read Paul’s words in Ephesians, found on your program:

Ephesians 4:1-6, 15, 16 (CEB)

1Therefore, as a prisoner for the Lord, I encourage you to live as people worthy of the call you received from God. 2 Conduct yourselves with all humility, gentleness, and patience. Accept each other with love, 3 and make an effort to preserve the unity of the Spirit with the peace that ties you together. 4 You are one body and one spirit, just as God also called you in one hope. 5 There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 and one God and Father of all, who is over all, through all, and in all.

“..by speaking the truth with love, let’s grow in every way into Christ, 16 who is the head. The whole body grows from him, as it is joined and held together by all the supporting ligaments. The body makes itself grow in that it builds itself up with love as each one does its part”.

Paul writes from prison to the church of Ephesus.  He speaks of this “one-ness of God” – at first this can sound incredibly exclusionary, not a field for honest exploration. ONE way, one faith, one track – play into the defensive posture people are inclined to take? Maybe at first blush.

But Paul is actually communicating something quite different – quite freeing –  God has soaked the world with GOD’s self – there is one-ness throughout all the rituals, the path, the cultures,  the differences… God is in the cosmos – throughout every human heart – one-ness is already there… the love of God. 

This message, for this community of Ephesus is  radical for the 1st century. “BE FREE”!  

EVERYONE  – Jew or Gentile – circumcised or uncircumcised – wealthy or poor, it doesn’t matter who your mother is, or what your blood is, conservative or liberal- you are welcome with freedom to orient to God – and HE’S pretty clear right – not from separate silos – but from an integrated, functioning, interdependent, collaborative community.  This is a radical picture of human family – 2,000 years ago and (my!), isn’t it still radical today? (Reference: Alexander Shaia)

Paul says, “The body makes itself grow in that it builds itself up with love – as each one does its part.” …AS EACH of us do our part…WITH FREEDOM from anxiety, with freedom from judgment.  God is the head. God is not asking us to be the head. God is not asking us to be God. God is asking us to be who we ARE – the elbow, the shin, the earlobe. BE THAT!  Because God sent JESUS to help us to be HUMAN – to engage our full human bodies on this earth. To greet other human beings on this earth – with humility, gentleness and patience…   NOT to ensure that we ourselves, or those around us achieve the holiness of GOD.

When we veer toward setting moral codes as the standard for freedom, it actually becomes a tool of dismemberment.

It creates a sick, toxic body – with tools of shame and judgment as the method of control and mastery.   The “most, wide-open doors” – the doors that say “Everyone is welcome with freedom” above them – becomes but a pinhole by which moral approval is the key to enter.

The role of being “Moral approver” makes us so tired and weary.  So much energy is used in surveying the border -securing the border of our faith – demanding proof from people – “show me your papers” – the credentials of how you are a follower of Jesus or not?  WE start patrolling each other’s behavior and narrowing the expanse of “one-ness” and mislabeling “Freedom.” One-ness starts to be defined as preserving a set of conforming beliefs, versus as it says in this scripture, preserving the unity of the Spirit with treasured diversity.  This is not freedom, it’s bondage.  We forget that Freedom is love – not power to control.

The gospel – this good news of Jesus –  transcends moral approval as the basis for acceptance, belonging, or unity in the Spirit.  The good news – the love of Jesus is FREEDOM. 

As a follower of Jesus – I can see that it is not my role, it is not upholding the value of  freedom to give, demand or receive moral approval from another – that’s serving self-interests, that’s feeding my own anxiety – and dismembering the unity of the body of Christ.

Often Paul’s words here in Ephesians –  are helpful in thinking about how to navigate conflict and get along – AND I think Paul is ALSO  reminding us – that Jesus is the center of our lives – all of our lives, and that center is LOVE.

And that love is generative beyond our construction. It multiplies in community, it grows.  That love is binding, that love breaks apart moral exoskeleton’s that we try to prop ourselves up on.

…and this love calls us to work…..it calls us to hard work.

It’s not lost on me that Paul uses this image of a body as metaphor for a functioning, healthy community.  Because a physical body moves when it’s healthy, and a community of faith, anchored in the oneness of the Spirit of God is also called to motion

When we work for the values of everyone, freedom, connection, diversity and authenticity, humility  to be upheld… there will always be work to do – to keep us moving forward. 

There is no standing still in “oneness.”

We value love, relationship, intimacy that safe-keeps (not guards!),  our own free view and relationship with Jesus. 

And we value with TRUE freedom our zesty voices and perspectives – and we TRUST THAT GOD doesn’t need defending, and that God can SPEAK for GOD’s(her)- self.

MANNA Community

To honestly explore – and experience God, with freedom – from our own unique vantage point.  A God who is completely loving – whose nature is pure goodness – gives us the capacity to emulate God by exemplifying love. 

Last week I had the honor to hear from someone whose work and calling exemplifies LOVE, the chaplain of the MANNA community, a ministry of, and with, the homeless community in downtown Boston. 

MANNA’s mission is not only to welcome folks across differences of class, wealth, culture, race and mental ability, but to empower all people to claim their place as essential members of the community. MANNA believes that everyone has gifts to give and to receive. (https://www.stpaulboston.org/manna)

And that there’s a need – a deep soul need –  of each other to function in this relational way. This community gathers each week to serve, to pray, and to create together.

This chaplain that I was talking to  – runs The CoffeeKlatsch a community that gathers for an hour on Sunday mornings, to connect over the realities of their lives – the extreme adversity they face on the streets and to find hope in connection with one another.  It is open and honest conversation – which with all the diversity in the space often results in very opinionated/very BIG  – robust conversations. Conversations that are offensive and just generally very hard.

I asked this chaplain – HOW do you do this?  HOw do you hold space for this? In a way that freedom is upheld – the right to act/say/believe what you have – and have an eye for the community…?  In a way that keeps it moving? Functioning? 

First she said, “Well we have two ground rules:”

  1. “No violence or harm done to another.   
  2. “Can’t be high or drunk when engaged in the community.”

Pretty important rules.

The chaplain then added that she and her colleagues operate on this guiding principle – this word, “remain.” 

Listening more as she spoke, I realized it’s similar to what the love of God facilitates here at Reservoir – that to “remain” in the love of God, allows MANNA to honor the freedom and integrity of everyone who walks through their doors.

That MANNA too, remains committed to the struggle of keeping the widest most open doors possible. 

They remain  committed to the mission – this unifying spirit… that there’s an essential part for everyone to play in this greater community.

And they remain in the posture of welcome – for anyone and everyone.  

Even if they pee in a chair.

This word “remain” spoke to me of such sincere love.  Love at the heart of this MANNA community – and maybe the heart of all communities that move and greet this world with all that it presents – even if we feel , experience it – or see it differently than someone else – EVEN if what it is – is God. 

I John 4:11-13 (CEB)

11 My dear friends, if God loved us this way, we also ought to love each other. 12 No one has ever seen God [comment: NO ONE can put a stake or a claim or a border around GOD]. If we love each other, God remains in us and God’s love is made perfect in us. [comment: we don’t need to strive for ‘holiness” (or some external standard] 13 This is how we know we remain in God and God remains in us, because God has given us a measure of the Spirit.

How do we uphold FREEDOM, with difference – and with an eye toward community?

WE REMAIN – WE REMAIN – WE REMAIN in God’s LOVE. 

This is our guiding principle too. This LOVE of God, this pure view of God – IF anything, is what we get to safe-keep.

Freedom is not found in organization structures  or external expectations, but rather is found in centering the shared life and love with Jesus in community.

Perhaps the ground rules of MANNA are similar to ours too –

 

  • No violence/harm to one another – and by violence I mean in exercising your own freedom – you must have an eye to whether or not you are “violating the identity and integrity of another person.” (taken from Parker Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness)
  • And a commitment to being aware of when we veer toward fixing, saving, advising or rescuing someone else.  To recognize we are entering territory that might not be ours to walk through. (We can listen and ask honest and open questions).

 

Our role is to:

 

  • LET GOD be GOD.

 

    • Take seriously our freedom to explore who God is to us.   
    • Take seriously our freedom as it fits in the body – the whole of community.

 

  • GIVE THE HOLY SPIRIT her rightful PLACE to reveal all she hopes to reveal to you and those around you.

Invitation to Whole Life Flourishing:

Look for opportunities to express freedom in your daily life, with a leaning toward others, taking on a generous and self-giving posture (of humility, patience and gentleness) in your heart and actions.

Spiritual Practice

Ask God this week to help you notice where your freedom intersects with others around you?  Reflect on whether this intersection hinders access to Jesus, or makes way for the widest, most open doors to Jesus.

Would you join us in being COMMITTED TO THE STRUGGLE of  MAKING THE WIDEST, MOST OPEN DOORS POSSIBLE? 

On the Brink of Political Chaos

For eight weeks this fall, we’re riffing off the title of Parker Palmer’s beautiful little book On the Brink of Everything. It’s a book about discovery and wonder and about change and threats, and our little pastoral team felt something timely and important in this. 

Today I felt like I needed to say a few things about an area of life where many of us experience fear and threat and frustration, that area being politics. Now I know that some of you love it when I connect our sacred texts and faith with contemporary controversy. For some of you, that seems important. I also know that some of you hate it when I do this. You want Sundays to be a refuge from the controversy and turmoil of public life, and it’s upsetting to you if church feels at all political. I just want you to know I’m aware of this and the rest of this series will go to other places entirely.

That said, politics is getting louder, not quieter. We’re already into our interminably long election season. And just this past week, we had the announcement of the start of presidential impeachment hearings. I checked both the Herald and the Globe’s most frequently read and sent stories the day I was working on this talk, and Boston being Boston, the leading story on each paper was about the Red Sox or the Patriots, but all the others were about politics. 

Our scriptures and our faith do not come out of a democratic age, so the vocabulary is different, but themes of politics and public life are all over the place. Because faith is both a private and a public matter. And today, I’m not going to tell you who do vote for or what cause to support in politics. We’d never endorse someone here, and I’d never expect this community to agree on our politics. But I do want to encourage us toward spiritually healthier political engagement. Toward thinking and attitude about politics that helps us live well; that helps us be healthy, generous people; that helps us be engaged in public life, however it is we do that, both usefully and joyfully, as I think we’re meant to be. 

I’ve got three postures I want to encourage today – no surprises, they’re all in your program already under, “Invitations to Whole Life Flourishing.”

As I said, the Bible’s talk about public life and politics was written in really different conditions than ours. Most of the Bible was written by people of a minority group, living under large, colonial empires. They didn’t know anything about voting or democracy, presidents or parliaments. And when the Bible’s writers do look back on what they’d consider their own independent government, they looked back to a four hundred period of the ancient kingdom of Israel, that for most of those years, was divided into two small kingdoms – Israel to the North, and Judah to the South.

We’re going to read a short excerpt of a passage that comes from the culture and politics of the southern kingdom of Judah, when they were threatened by the empire of Assyria, who had already conquered their cousins to the north. Here’s a bit of what Isaiah has to say to them:

Isaiah 31:1-3 (CEB)

31 

Doom to those going down to Egypt for help!

    They rely on horses,

    trust in chariots because they are many,

    and on riders because they are very strong.

But they don’t look to the holy one of Israel;

    they don’t seek the Lord.

2 But God also knows how to bring disaster;

    he has not taken back his words.

God will rise up against the house of evildoers

    and against the help of those who do wrong.

3 Egypt is human and not divine;

    their horses are flesh and not spirit.

The Lord will extend his hand;

    the helper will stumble,

    those helped will fall,

    and they will all die together.

 

If you are afraid, it’s natural to think – what can help me? Who or what can remove this fear? Can make me secure? If you feel like something important to you is under threat, it’s natural to hope that someone will save you.

For Judah, this was Egypt. If the big, bad neighbors to the north threaten you, perhaps the kingdom to the South can save you. Lean on Egypt. If one side fails you, the other side will save the day.

But the prophets again and again warned against the dangers of this way of thinking. They were like Egypt doesn’t have your best interests in mind either. They too want what they want for themselves. They are not the good guys coming to save you.

And here, Isaiah says that people you think will save the day are also nowhere near as powerful as they say they are or you hope they will be. Egypt seems powerful, and the symbols and technology of their power look impressive. But they aren’t. 

Egypt after all is human, not God. In Hebrew, these words are adam and el. El is kind of a generic word for God, that could mesh with any religion. And adam refers to humankind, both the original human figure Adam and literally “the ground” or “dust”. And their technology of power, their horses, are flesh, weakness, not spirit, vitality, life. 

God, who is unseen Spirit, is the giver and renewer of life. Egypt is just human, just dust. What you want from power is to save you, to protect or give you life, but they can’t do that. They’re just people like you, they’re only dust. 

 I’d say this holds true in our politics as well. People that promise the world, people we think are coming to save the day, just aren’t. They have their own things they want, likely more than they have our good in mind. And they have way less power than they say they do, or than you think they have. 

I went through this kind of painful but important season a few years ago that I don’t think I’ve ever told you about. 

I had just turned 40, and I was new as your lead pastor. And our church was going through some change and conflict back then that wasn’t easy for any of us, and it certainly wasn’t easy for me. And I found myself hoping that there would be mentors or wise people in my life that would show me or tell me what to do. 

But there weren’t. In fact, again and again, people I thought I might look up to for help were just disappointing me. My parents, someone I’d considered to be a pastor in my life, some other people I hoped were going to step up as mentors. In one case, I had been let down and disappointed, in kind of a spectacularly  awful way. In another case, I was learning new things about that person that called my trust into question. And in another, people were just too busy with their own problems to be available to me. 

I remember talking to a friend of mine about this, wondering if at a certain age, we run out of heroes, sometimes even run out of people to look up to. And my friend encouraged me to pray about this. And when I talked to God about this, I was reminded of this thing I used to teach when I was an English teacher. Back then, I’d taught coming of age literature a fair bit and always told my teenage students that in coming of age literature, one thing that happens is that the main character learns that adults are people too. That grownups have all their own flaws and limitations. And I remember feeling like God was showing me I was going through my own mid-life version of the same thing: learning again that all of us are figuring out our own stuff, and that no one is perfect. No one’s going to show up with a plan for me. No one is coming to save me. 

And dreary as this sounds, I remember being aware that from God’s perspective, it was good news that I was seeing this. It’s a good thing to see that everyone is only dust. 

I read Tolstoy’s War and Peace this summer. Biggest waste of my time ever. The thing is interminably long, more than 1200 pages, most of which I didn’t even enjoy. Don’t ask why. I’m a sucker sometimes. 

But this thing I’m talking about today, at least Tolstoy is onto. He’s writing about Napoleon’s invasion of Russia in 1812, and Russia’s supposedly heroic resistance. And in a time when history was still a story of supposedly great men – generals and kings that ruled and shaped history, Tolstoy calls BS on all that. He’s like neither Napoleon nor the tsar and generals of Russia had the kind of influence or power they think they did. They’re not all that special. 

And then Tolstoy says when you realize that great leaders don’t control history, you might wonder if God is controlling everything instead. And he says we can’t believe that either. History and human affairs are too random. They’re not consistently good or evil. They don’t follow a linear direction anywhere. God isn’t micromanaging and controlling all people and events either. 

Instead, history and life move forward through all our collective freedom and contingencies. We all have these unseen ways we’re shaped and hemmed in by our history, our culture, our limitations. We do stuff, usually not really understanding why it is we’re doing what we’re doing. And yet we also have the freedom to cooperate with the forces of our times or not, to follow our instincts or whatever other forces are acting upon us in our lives, or not.  

That’s what makes life and history, this weird and complicated and largely unseen set of forces acting upon us, and then whatever freedom and agency we have to choose how we’re going to respond. That’s all you’ve got, that’s all I’ve got. That’s all our representatives have, and it’s all someone like the president has either. 

We all have power and choices. But none of us is god, none of us is life-giving spirit. We’re flesh and dust. We’ve got to lower our expectations of everybody, especially when they’re promising us the moon. 

You and me, we’re dust. Our president, dust. All the people lining up to run against him, dust. We don’t need to fear them and we don’t need to buy into their hype. They don’t care about any of us as much as they say they do. They can’t do as much as they say they can. And they’re certainly not coming to save us. 

Lower your expectations, friends. Let’s remember what the scriptures teach, that it is the power of God and not politicians or anyone else, to give life and to save. 

You might have noticed, though, that in my little War and Peace bit, I mentioned that most of us don’t believe God’s power works in micromanaging and controlling every person and event in life. 

History, science, even our own experiences tell us that can’t be true. We can’t imagine that every day God micromanages the weather, tossing sunny days at some and hurricanes at others. We don’t want to believe that God predestined every tyrant and killer to do horrendous things to others. We like to think that we have some choices in the world ourselves, that all our thoughts and actions aren’t just hardwired into our fate by some giant programmer in the sky.

So if that’s so, if we’re all partly responding to stuff going on around us in the past and present, and partly making free choices too, how is it that God acts to bring life and to save? How can we look to God for help in our lives anywhere, including looking to God to help us in public life and politics? 

Well, this is kind of a big topic that theologians and philosophers have been working on for millenia, so why don’t I give it just a few minutes, OK?

The Bible scholar Walter Brueggeman likes to remind us that most of the Bible is poetry, not prose. It evokes more than it explains. It uses imagery and paradox and provocation to nudge us toward God and truth, rather than laying things out for us in linear arguments. 

I like to think this is because this is maybe what truth is like, and maybe what God is like – personal and directional, moving us toward goodness and beauty and wisdom, not a set of proofs or abstract arguments.

Anyway, the poetry of the prophets I think gives us a picture of how God saves, and a couple nudges for spiritually healthy ways to engage in politics in particular. 

One section from the prophet Micah, who famously tells us that what God wants of people in life is to “do justice and love mercy and walk humbly with God.” A little earlier, he says this:

Micah 4:1-4 (CEB)

But in the days to come,

        the mountain of the Lord’s house

            will be the highest of the mountains;

        it will be lifted above the hills;

            peoples will stream to it.

2 Many nations will go and say:

    “Come, let’s go up to the mountain of the Lord,

            to the house of Jacob’s God,

        so that he may teach us his ways

            and we may walk in God’s paths!”

Instruction will come from Zion

        and the Lord’s word from Jerusalem.

God will judge between the nations

        and settle disputes of mighty nations,

            which are far away.

They will beat their swords into iron plows

        and their spears into pruning tools.

Nation will not take up sword against nation;

        they will no longer learn how to make war.

All will sit underneath their own grapevines,

        under their own fig trees.

    There will be no one to terrify them;

        for the mouth of the Lord of heavenly forces has spoken.

 

Incredible poetry, isn’t it?

Now there’s a way to imagine this scene like God shows up out of the sky onto a mountain. And then that mountain gets so big, that everyone can see God there, and then people all around the earth make pilgrimage to that giant mountain to hear God. And then God is both really loud and really wise, so that all people learn wisdom and all international disputes are settled, and everyone commits to peace, so much peace that we all go back home and plant our own vineyard and orchards and sit and drink our wine and eat our figs in peace forevermore, amen!

And hey, if that’s how it’s going to happen, cool. I’ll take that. I can imagine worse things, right?

But it doesn’t really make sense if we take it super literally, does it? 

I mean, the passage is likely referring to the temple mount of Jerusalem, which isn’t a very big mountain at all and certainly isn’t going to grow so large that everyone in the world can see it. And even if it did, no matter how big it got, on a round earth, everyone seeing it would never be possible. And then there’s the question of how 7 or 8 billion people, or however many there are of us these days, would ever all get to the same mountain at the same time, and how in the world we’d hear God teach us if we could do that. 

It just doesn’t add up on these terms.

Which it was never meant to. It’s poetry. 

Here’s how I read it as a follower of Jesus.

I think God’s teacher, descended to earth, is Jesus. And I think how all people’s stream to the wisdom of God is through our attraction and devotion to the person and teaching of Jesus. We get to flock to God’s wisdom wherever we are, without even moving our feet a whole lot. 

From there, our devotion – dare I even say our obedience – to the teaching and person of Jesus will fill us with ever-increasing wisdom and inspire and equip us for ever-increasing peacemaking. 

And as we now know from the musical Hamilton, George Washington himself dreamed that in this country, amongst others as well, our commitments to peace would make it more likely that each of us could enjoy security and prosperity, that we could flourish in peace, each of us under our own vine, so to speak. 

It’s a beautiful hope and vision, isn’t it? 

And it’s one where God has God’s part, and we together have ours. 

God’s part is to speak wisdom and peace in the person of Jesus. God’s part is to be present in all places on earth, at all times, as an inspirational and attractional force of love to draw our imaginations and devotion toward wisdom and truth and peace. God is, in this sense, Almighty – present everywhere for healing and wisdom and love. 

But we have a part to play as well. We have the choice to stream toward God or not, to listen to God’s wisdom or not. We have the choice to beat our swords into ploughshares or not, to be people of peace or of violence. 

And more of us doing that more of the time will make a big difference in how much prosperity and peace and flourishing we all can experience.

Alright, this is super big picture. As a pastor, I’m trying to keep teaching about God and how God’s power and love work in life, and I’ll keep doing that. 

But what does all this mean for us as we follow impeachment inquiries and suffer through a more than year-long election season? Beyond lowering our expectations for every politician and political program, how can faith in the God the prophets dream about help us toward a more spiritually healthy engagement in politics?

I’ve got two thoughts, real quick.

They’re to 

  1. Engage in politics with clear eyes and a full heart. And to
  2. Be steadfast in hope and ruthless with systems, but generous with people.

Here’s what I mean. 

Engage in politics with clear eyes and a full heart. 

Our politicians don’t have the kind of powers we wish they did, or fear they do. And yet, they (like us) are people who are either streaming toward and responding to the wisdom of God or not. They are people who are becoming people of peace and flourishing, and promoting God’s peace and flourishing, or not.

And because of the power we’ve given them, because of the loudness of their voices and the leverage they have, there are stakes to this. So rather than hide from politics in the cocoons of our families or faith, rather than burrow down behind our privilege, I’d invite us to engage – but just to engage with clear eyes and a full heart.

Open your eyes. Be careful and wise. Don’t act like one person or party is always right. Don’t align yourself with a permanent friend or align yourself against a permanent enemy. One of the shameful aspects of American politics these past forty years is how fully Christians, for instance, or at least certain types of Christians have totally aligned their interests with the power of a single political party. It’s turned out really good for that party, but pretty awful for Christian witness. 

Which is the way things go when people pursue power rather than clear-eyed, full-hearted vision for the wisdom, peace, and flourishing of us all. My point isn’t to tell you to be Republican or Democrat or neither one. I have my opinions of what I want in our country, but that’s besides the point here. 

My point is to try to humbly learn from Jesus. Stream toward God. Never assume you’ve landed on truth or wisdom. Keep learning. Ask God to lead you toward more wisdom and more understanding of how to pursue peace and flourishing in your times, and then engage in politics and everything else as that leads you.

Don’t sell your permanent loyalty to anyone or anything but God. And pursue God’s greater good as that leads you. 

And as you engage in public life, be steadfast in hope and ruthless with systems, but generous with people. 

Public life matters. Our collective peace or violence matters. Safeguards to people’s security, prosperity, and flourishing matters – especially for people that most lack those safeguards right now. Wisdom and justice as they work out in public life matter. 

So keep your hope up, and where you encounter systems that stand against your hopes in God, ruthlessly oppose them. Use your money and vote and voice to pursue collective peace and flourishing. That’s what our health care justice team is trying to do – to pursue quality health care access and fair costs for all people in our city. Way to go, team!

But remember, just like the politicians, you too are dust. You’re human and not God. You are flesh and not spirit. You might not be right all the time. You probably aren’t. And you just might still have a few things to learn. 

So try to be generous with people that think and vote differently than you. Try to practice Jesus’ call to be more critical of yourself than others. Try to practice Jesus’ teaching to love your enemies and pray for those that oppose you.

We are not a unanimous country when it comes to our understandings of God or truth or politics or anything else. For most of us, that’s true of our families and workplaces as well, if not of our friends. That does not mean we’re all right. And that does not mean that we all have to be nice and accommodating all the time. Being a person of peace doesn’t just mean being silent or sweet when someone disagrees with you.

But it does mean that we can afford the dignity of respect to others – not to all their ideas, but to their voice and their personhood. And it does mean that we can seek the good in others, to seek our common humanity, even when we’re opposed. 

If you find yourself angry sometimes as we’re on the brink of political chaos, you’re probably just alive. That’s not a bad thing. But if you find that you’re the meanest, most judgy person in the room, or anything like that, I’d ask you to consider whether Jesus has a call to wisdom and peace for you, and not just your adversary.

I want to pray for us during these times, pray power and blessing in this regard, but first let me recap:

Invitations to Whole Life Flourishing

  1. Lower your expectations for powerful people.
  2. Engage in politics with clear eyes and a full heart.
  1. Be steadfast in hope and ruthless with systems, but generous with people.

Spiritual Practice of the Week

When you root for or against politicians, remember they are only dust. God renews and loves and advances the good through any and many people and forces that cooperate with God’s vision.

The World-Saving Power of Inner Work

We’re about half way through our spring series on prophetic living, where we look at the lives and words of some of the great ancient prophets from the Bible and try to see what it looks like to live boldly, wholeheartedly as if what we hope to be true about God is real. So far we’ve talked about speaking encouragement and affirmation as people who are learning to love a God who speaks life to us. We’ve talked about looking for and magnifying deep, inner beauty as a way of honoring a beautiful God who loves shaping beautiful stories among us. And we’ve talked about learning to ask for help, in a world where a good God is glad to help us and to to shape communities of mutual help.

Maybe the most memorable thing I’ve heard so far, though, was Ivy’s description last week of prophets as people who burn stuff down and then die. I listened to Ivy quoting her kid about prophets as people who burn stuff down, and I thought – we like people these days who burn stuff down, don’t we?

 

Dramatic, angry people with a serious beef are in.

 

On both sides of the aisle, we’re voting more for politicians who promise to burn stuff down. And in that, the US isn’t taking the lead, but following something of a global trend. Demagogues who channel popular anger against a common enemy are in right now, in many places in the world. Burning it down is trending.

 

Even in fiction, we have Game of Thrones coming to a close tonight. I actually haven’t watched a single episode, but I read some of the books, and I ask my wife to give me all the spoilers now, and I gather that last week, even that universe chose to give us a leader who decides to burn it down.

 

At some level, this is in fact what prophets do. And it’s why we’re both drawn to them and also kind of frightened by them. Through the pages of the Bible’s great prophets, we get lots like this, from Amos, who spoke to the Northern half of ancient Israel, in the 8th century BC.

 

Amos 2:6-8 (CEB)

6    The Lord proclaims:

   For three crimes of Israel,

       and for four, I won’t hold back the punishment,

   because they have sold the innocent for silver,

           and those in need for a pair of sandals.

7     They crush the head of the poor into the dust of the earth,

       and push the afflicted out of the way.

   Father and son have intercourse with the same young woman,

       degrading my holy name.

8     They stretch out beside every altar

       on garments taken in loan;

   in the house of their god they drink

       wine bought with fines they imposed.

 

Here are some of the many fiery words of the prophet Amos, saying not just, “Burn it down,” but God is gonna burn it down.

 

For three crimes of Israel, and for four, I won’t hold back the punishment. So which is it? Three or four? Just how many crimes?

 

That’s not the point. It’s a poetic device in Hebrew for a list – to say, there are so many things coming. Can we even count them all? It’s two, no three, no, maybe four – so many crimes. And not just crimes against law, but crimes against humanity, crimes against justice, crimes against decency.

 

Economic exploitation, sexual exploitation, religious practice that instead of coming to grips with these problems, just papers them over.

 

Amos calls out ot the nation and says: You are sick. And unless you change, unless you reckon with your sickness, you’re gonna get it.

 

Burn it down, Amos says. God doesn’t want to prop up a system, a country, a people full of sickness, full of injustice.

 

Now, we could imagine that ancient Israel was very different than any other nation, that somehow this small 8th century rural, tribal nation was a Game of Thrones-like land of unparalleled violence, abuse, greed, and corruption. But this strikes me as unlikely.

 

And a tremendous scholar of the prophets, Abraham Heschel, has a different way of understanding the prophets’ burn-it-down take on their society’s sickness.

 

I love the prophets, and knowing that, over 20 years ago, my wife Grace gifted me with a copy of Rabbi Heschel’s beautiful and important book The Prophets.  Early on, he’s asking what kind of people these prophets are. Why such burn-it-down intensity?

 

And he writes this:

“The things that horrified the prophets are even now daily occurrences all over the world…. The sort of crimes and even the amount of delinquency that fill the prophets of Israel with dismay do not go beyond that which we regard as normal, as typical ingredients of social dynamics. To us a single act of injustice – cheating in business, exploitation of the poor – is slight; to the prophets, a disaster. To us injustice is injurious to the welfare of the people; to the prophets it is a deathblow to existence; to us, an episode; to them, a catastrophe, a threat to the world.” (The Prophets, Abraham Heschel, pgs. 3-4)

 

The prophets know that people matter – not just people in the collective, what can be captured by studies and statistics, but each person, each human being, even each living creature matters.

 

A single child born into a family of crushing debt is sold into bonded labor for a bit of silver, just enough to buy a pair of shoes. In our global politics or analysis, that’s a footnote. But to the prophets it is a disaster, a deathblow to existence.

 

A wealthy person enjoys a possession that is linked to the suffering of the dispossessed. In our age of global capitalism, this strikes me – I’ll be honest – as inevitable. What Heschel calls an episode. But to the prophets it is a catastrophe, a threat to the world.

 

Prophets burn with fiery passion because they know that each person matters to God, and because they tell the truth as well.

 

Prophets see sickness everywhere. They see it in their public economy. And they see it in the places where the so-called public and the so-called private meet. There’s that vivid line in Amos about the father and son, and the same young woman. This is sexual abuse. This is rape, that Amos is decrying. In his context, this would have been a teenage family servant, hired for poverty-wages, or perhaps living in slavery. No rights, no status, no recourse, and so she’s used by other people, just as people today without rights, status, and recourse get used by the rest of us.

 

Prophets tell the truth, and so Amos says his nation is sick. And sick things that don’t get healthy die.

 

Often, though, prophets make people angry before they make them healthy, because people don’t always like the truth very much, right?

 

Through our partnerships team, that gives out 10% of our church’s tithes and offerings, our church supports International Justice Mission – the world’s largest anti-slavery organization. And their founder, Gary Haugen, often says that people who perpetrate violent injustice have two tools really – violence and deceit. Oppressors use force, and they lie. Which is why IJM mobilizes and equips better, public force through rule of law, and why IJM documents and tells the truth. Because to get justice, we need truth.  

 

Last Thursday, in our community organizing class at Reservoir, we were learning about different ways to gain people’s consent to change. We talked about how violent force is some ways the weakest means of consent, because as soon as the threat or power of violence is removed, no consent. And we talked about how strong relationships are the most powerful means of consent, because we want to live and work and make agreements together with those we love and respect.

 

But we had some debate about lies and manipulation, which in our training was labeled slanted information. Because we agreed that we we’ve seen a precious lack of truth-telling in our education, in our politics, in so much of our public discourse, and we felt that many of our public habits of deceit and manipulation have been a toxic and potent force for ill in our public lives.

 

So prophetic living believes in the healing power of telling the truth.

 

When I was younger, I’d read stuff like this and cheer. Stuff it to them, Amos. Speak truth to power! We like the angry truth when people tell say it about our enemies.

 

But over time, I realized what should have been obvious all along. The prophets of the Bible aren’t primarily criticizing their foes, they’re speaking truth about themselves. They’re diagnosing the sickness in their own nation, among their own people, in their own communities.

 

It’s hard to hear the truth about ourselves. It’s hard to grapple with the truth about our lives.

 

This week I learned a phrase I’d never known about a dynamic that has long troubled me. The phrase is “spiritual bypassing.” I read about it in on a blog from a rabbi, Rachel Barenblat, and it turns out there’s a whole body of work on this.

 

Spiritual bypassing is a defense mechanism where you use spirituality to avoid uncomfortable or painful feelings. A spiritual community is troubled by an accusation of abuse, and if they cover it up or try to rush people toward healing before reckoning, that’s spiritual bypassing. People that have a hard time with anger or conflict or suffering and use religion to avoid or explain these things away, that’s spiritual bypassing too.

 

I don’t know about you, but there’s a fair bit of this in my spiritual and religious past. Big pushes toward forgiveness, healing, the power of faith to make all things better before really reckoning with what’s gone wrong. Too many of our so-called faith leaders are people who don’t like to reckon with their own mistakes and pain. And too many of us have rushed past hard truths in our experience, truth that needs reckoning and rumbling before it can change.

 

I think this is part of why my therapist last year was go goofy, over the top, encouraging, whenever she saw me compassionately reckoning with truth about myself. I’d tell her a story about the littlest thing, about being stuck in some way – but instead of distracting myself or pretending I could change it, asking someone I love for help. Or I’d talk about someone I love or respect speaking their truth in a way that was hard for me to hear, and just trying to sit with that, to stay engaged, and really be present, and she’d be like: Steve, this is so great – you’re saving the world!

 

And I’d be like you’re crazy, I’m not doing anything. Maybe like marginally moving toward sitting with the truth about myself and those I love with compassion. A little bit of inner work.

 

And she’d say: I know. But that’s where change comes from. People seeing and reckoning with the truth, and doing the inner work to sit with that without judgement. That’s where connection and curiosity and compassion and so many other good things are born, things that as they scale do amazing things.

 

Jesus, in his prophetic living, said this too. Near the end of the most powerful collection of his prophetic words – what’s called the Sermon on the Mount in the good news of Matthew – Jesus says,

 

“Don’t judge, so that you won’t be judged. 2 You’ll receive the same judgment you give. Whatever you deal out will be dealt out to you.3 Why do you see the splinter that’s in your brother’s or sister’s eye, but don’t notice the log in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother or sister, ‘Let me take the splinter out of your eye,’ when there’s a log in your eye? 5 You deceive yourself! First take the log out of your eye, and then you’ll see clearly to take the splinter out of your brother’s or sister’s eye.

 

Jesus tells us to use truth the way we want it used on us – generously, fairly, compassionately. And he says if you want to be a truth teller, if you want to live prophetically, make sure you’re doing your own inner work.

 

Jesus turns the “burn it down spirit” inward. To use another cryptic phrase of Jesus, salt yourself with fire. Let holy truth do its work in you. Commit to the kind of inner it takes to be be healthy.

 

This is where real prophets are different. Prophets don’t just go around burning other people’s stuff down, they don’t just call out truth about others. Prophetic living welcomes the truth about ourselves and our own groups and loyalties. Prophetic truth welcomes the gentle fire of change where things are not well within ourselves.

 

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying we can only tell the truth about ourselves. And I am not saying that all public anger is judgmental or uncalled for. I heard Rev. Lucas Johnson talking about this just this week. Johnson is a community organizer and pastor and now the executive director of On Being’s Civil Conversations project.

 

He talked about the criticism leveled at Michael Brown’s stepfather who screamed out “Burn it down!”, after the acquittal verdict of the officer who killed his son, after revelations of years of systemic violent racism in that city’s law enforcement. And he asked: what’s more dangerous? What’s more inhumane? The destruction of property, or the mass incarceration and violence toward my people. Johnson was like, that Burn it down impulse carries truth. He said most of us don’t wrestle enough with the real grief and anger that is natural to feel in the face of injustice.

 

But then Johnson said: “This is where my spiritual practice comes in, where I have to find another way of accepting and dealing with grief.” What he’s saying is that even righteous indignation isn’t potent and it isn’t safe without inner work.

 

When Jesus reckons with this old prophetic territory of truth-telling and righteousness, he insists upon this inner work. Take the log out of your eye. Be healthy. Let truth change who we are, and see what change and power flows from that.

 

Jesus begins this Sermon on the Mount material that moves toward judgment and logs with other words, long words about inner work. Citing the great 10 commandments about health and righteousness, he intensifies their truth-telling force, and turns them toward inner work, not just public compliance .

 

Matthew 5:21-26 (CEB)

21 “You have heard that it was said to those who lived long ago, Don’t commit murder, and all who commit murder will be in danger of judgment. 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with their brother or sister will be in danger of judgment. If they say to their brother or sister, ‘You idiot,’ they will be in danger of being condemned by the governing council. And if they say, ‘You fool,’ they will be in danger of fiery hell. 23 Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you,24 leave your gift at the altar and go. First make things right with your brother or sister and then come back and offer your gift. 25 Be sure to make friends quickly with your opponents while you are with them on the way to court. Otherwise, they will haul you before the judge, the judge will turn you over to the officer of the court, and you will be thrown into prison. 26 I say to you in all seriousness that you won’t get out of there until you’ve paid the very last penny.

 

Jesus knows that in our public and private relationships, a lot of us are prone to this violent, so-called “truth telling” about everyone but ourselves. We’re defensive, we’re reactive, we get fired up angry. All of which is human. Parts of which are even healthy. Not to mince words, but Jesus says when you’re angry with brother or sister, you’ll be in danger of judgement. The anger itself doesn’t put you in a bad place, it puts you in a risky place.

 

When that anger is channeled toward making things right, making things right in regards to those who have done us wrong, making things right when we realize we’ve done wrong, that can be a constructive, healthy force. But when that anger turns toward contempt, judgment, violence, it turns dangerous and toxic for everyone around us, and for ourselves.

 

Jesus asks us how are we in ourselves with other people? Are we mostly defensive and reactive in our anger? Or are we mostly self-aware, present, and  giving energy to the making of peace?

Last week our staff team at Reservoir were talking about the many amazing stories of great things happening in this community of Reservoir Church – all the stories of the love of God, the joy of living, and the gift of community. And then we got talking about some of the big forces in the world, stuff way beyond our control, that threatens our community, that threatens Reservoir’s mission and flourishing. And one of the things we talked about was the reactive world we live in, love of burning it down in our times, and the difficulty many of us are having living in peace and making it right with people that can provoke our anger. That’s real, I’m not judging that challenge we’re facing. But it’s tough. That we live in times of awareness of deep, systemic, painful injustice. And we live in times where it can be difficult to relate constructively with people who see the world differently than we do.

 

And in the context of this discussion, in the context of this work on the prophetic living of truth-telling, including about ourselves, and the prophetic living of inner work, I saw a quotation in the social media of another person our church partners with. He’d posted this line: “I sat with my anger long enough, until she told me her real name was grief.”

 

I saw with my anger long enough, until she told me her real name was grief.

 

I found that powerful. And I was thinking about where a lot of anger comes from, thinking – given that I’m a man – about a lot of male anger too. Now, hang with me here. I’m not harshing on men. You may be aware: I am a man, and proudly and securely so. And women, or people who don’t find gendered conversation helpful, I hope you can hang with me for a minute here, and consider what’s helpful for you.

 

But I am that factually, most of the world’s domestic violence, most of the world’s sexual violence has its roots in male anger. Most of the world’s violence, period, is connected to the anger of men. The priest, Father Richard Rohr, has often written and talked about how so many difficulties we have relating to God – all of us – have to do with our experience of angry or emotionally shut down fathers and father figures.

 

And I’ve thought about how much male anger comes from unrecognized, undealt with shame.

 

I had my own experience of this the other day. I was biking through Harvard Square, and there was weird and messy road construction going on, as there is everywhere, all the time around here in the spring. And it was kind of confusing to me where I could safely proceed on my bike, and there was no traffic coming the other direction, and for a minute, I rode on the wrong side of these orange pylons that made the new, improvised center of the lane.

 

And after I had already found my way back to the right edge of the road, I biked past the police officer on traffic duty who yelled at me, forcibly, about where and how I should be riding my bike. And out of habit, I said something like: Thank you, I got it.

 

But within seconds, I felt this incredible anger starting to boil in me. Some part of me felt violated at being yelled at. I was growing really defensive about how dangerous that bit of road was, how often I’m on the edge of being hit by a car in situations like that.

 

There was certainly no part of me that had compassion on how stressful that officer’s day was, directing bad drivers and bad cyclists like me, and bad pedestrians around a dangerous stretch of road, in a dangerous job that he has. There was certainly no part of me that could welcome the correction I’d been given, and turn that toward the reinforcement of safer cycling habits.

 

I was starting to boil. But maybe because this talk was on my mind, maybe because I try to practice daily inner work with Jesus, another thought came into my consciousness, and that thought was that I was ashamed of myself. I was ashamed that I had been caught doing something wrong, however small, and ashamed that meant that a man had yelled me. I realized some part of me was still there that was ashamed by the times my dad had yelled at me when I was a kid, even when I was a young man. Some part of me was still ashamed by times other people – teachers, bosses – had yelled at me or criticized me.

 

And still on my bike, only half a mile, just a couple of minutes from the birth of my anger, I started asking a different question. I started asking: what can I do with this shame, that’s making me so reactive right now?

 

And I thought: a living, loving God is not and has never, ever been ashamed of me. The God I’m coming to know in the person of Jesus Christ is never ashamed of me, is always compassionate and kind with me, even in my weaknesses. And I thought: I may have made a mistake back there, but I don’t need to be ashamed. And things starting getting clearer.

 

Which was important for me, not just because I didn’t want to carry rage or contempt over that little interaction in traffic. But because I had an important day ahead of me. All our days are important. I had a difficult conversation ahead that day, it turned out, and I wanted to be present and compassionate with the truth of that conversation, not reactive.

 

Men in the room in particular, there is powerful life in examining any places where unrecognized, undealt-with shame fuels our anger. Let me know if that strikes you and you want to talk more about that. This feels important to me.

 

And all of us, to accompany our anger, and our reactivity, with an inner work that just asks: where is this coming from? And what do I want to do with it? That’s powerful stuff. That’s prophetic living, to be compassionate truth tellers to ourselves.

 

Jesus goes on from anger, to also talk about desire on the same terms. And I think it’s interesting that Jesus really hones in on misdirected, or toxic anger and desire. Because toxic anger and toxic desire are at the root of all kinds of bad in the world. Or put positively, a therapist whose work I follow, Dan Allender, says it is a dangerous person for good who doesn’t lust after power or people.

 

That kind of freedom from toxic anger and toxic desire – especially for power and people – is a good kind of dangerous.

But hey, inner work wherever you find your life can go off course, is sweet prophetic living that Jesus would commend. I heard a Buddhist teacher the other day saying that the Buddha taught that there were five types of people. Five ways that we tend to be reactive in the world.

 

There are people prone to anger.

 

There are people prone to worry.

 

There are people who lose heart, and are prone to discouragement.

 

There are people are always looking to blame somebody, especially themselves.  

 

And there are people who need sensual soothing – food, sex, whatever

stimulates us.

 

Five fallback modes of reactivity – not evil, not something to judge ourselves over, but something to be aware of, a truth that invites inner work.

 

Does that resonate with you? Do you often find yourself in one of these 5 fall-back reactive modes?

 

Angry, worried, disheartened, blaming, or looking for sensual soothing?

 

I found that very self-aware, very consistent with Jesus’ prophetic teaching about inner work, about compassionate truth-telling that starts with us.

 

Just as our inner life can profoundly guide us off course, the human spirit and the Spirit of God can, through truth telling, bring profound, growing health to our inner lives.

 

My inner work is deeply rooted in spirituality of the Christian faith that I love. I think of my spiritual practice as my best set of weapons in the world, the roots of anything good and just and valuable that I become and that I do. For me, that involves particular weekly rhythms of rest and learning. It involves my participation in this faith community. It involves trying to cultivate honest friendships, and an honest prayer life, where I speak the truths of my life to Jesus and welcome Jesus’ compassionate, encouraging, truth-telling to me.

 

Other people I know have had seasons of inner work that focus on mindfulness – practicing more awareness in the moment. Others have really focus on emotional literacy, emotional awareness in particular.

 

Today’s talk isn’t on the mechanics of inner work, and spiritual practice so much, though, as on the prophetic living of telling the truth to ourselves, and making sure we find a set of practices of inner work.

What is your practice? Where, when, and how do you do your inner work to become less reactive in yourself, less reactive in the world?

 

As my therapist said, this is not just a matter of private piety, but of saving ourselves, and saving the world.

 

The Talmud, in the Jewish tradition says: Whoever destroys a single life is considered by Scripture to have destroyed the whole world, and whoever saves a single life is considered by Scripture to have saved the whole world.

 

Echoing this wisdom, the Islamic Quran says:

“We ordained … that if anyone killed a person or spread mischief in the land – it would be as if he killed all mankind, and if anyone saved a life, it would be as if he saved the life of all mankind.”

 

Jesus says: take the log out your eye, make things right. Welcome God to grow health, good fruit within – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control.

 

Then even your anger, even your truth-telling, will be safe and good.

 

 

Shift the beginning of this to LOVE and TRUTH…

An Invitation to Whole Life Flourishing

Fuel up in the morning with love, and look for who and what in your community and work is in your power to heal, build up, and make right.

 

Spiritual Practice of the Week

Get to know your default reactivity. If you don’t have an inner work practice, ask someone you respect what theirs is.

Accepting Doubt as a Companion, if not a Friend

So we’re half way through our celebration of Lent this year. Lent is again the 40 days before Easter in which churches have traditionally devoted time and energy to the forming of our inner lives and our connection and devotion to Jesus. This has included breaking rhythm and letting go in different ways – fasting from food or practicing more generosity. And it’s included different types of spiritual formation experiences. For your personal use, we’ve got a guide you can use five days a week – those are out on a table in the dome behind you and online. And then together we can look forward to next Sunday as we skip the sermon and share what one of our participatory liturgies – music and storytelling with the chance to react and interact as we sit in small groups with others. I hope you’ll join us next week for that.

Today, though, as part of this year’s Wild Places theme, I want to talk about doubt. We’ll have 3 different Petes speak to us – kind of a fun coincidence there – but we’ll start with one of the Bible’s ancient poems of prayer in the Psalms. Let me read the start of Psalm 77 for us.

Psalm 77 (CEB)

I cry out loud to God—

   out loud to God so that he can hear me!

2 During the day when I’m in trouble I look for my Lord.

   At night my hands are still outstretched and don’t grow numb;

       my whole being refuses to be comforted.

3 I remember God and I moan.

   I complain, and my spirit grows tired. Selah

4 You’ve kept my eyelids from closing.

   I’m so upset I can’t even speak.

5 I think about days long past;

   I remember years that seem an eternity in the past.

6 I meditate with my heart at night;

   I complain, and my spirit keeps searching:

7 “Will my Lord reject me forever?

   Will he never be pleased again?

8 Has his faithful love come to a complete end?

   Is his promise over for future generations?

9 Has God forgotten how to be gracious?

   Has he angrily stopped up his compassion?” Selah

It’s interesting to experience doubt as a pastor. Teddy Hickman-Maynard talked about this last week, as he shared how troubling it was to be raised in a religious home, so full of confident faith, only to have that unravel on him as a young adult. He described his torment as he threw his Bible across the room in frustration, full of doubt, even as he continued to try to fake it as a preacher and a pastor – to teach and preach what he no longer believed.

I read a survey once that talked about the experiences pastors have on Sundays, and how many of us feel we have to fake it before the church. It was a lot of us.

Now for reasons I think I’ll get to, this has not been my experience as your pastor. But I can see how it happens. Life is long, we all suffer, but some pastors get the vibe that churches want a leader whose life is untroubled and victorious, blessed by God, they might say. If that’s the case, the pastor fakes it through personal pain and trouble. And then even more pastors feel their churches want a teacher and a spiritual model who is without error or doubt, who has certain confidence in all God’s truth and goodness. That’s a high bar, and if you think that’s what is expected of you in your job, or in your identity, than of course you’re going to need to fake it.

Because we all doubt.

I’ve had all kinds of doubts. I won’t catalog them all for you, but I have noticed they are stirred up unpredictably. I’ve faced the death of some very dear people in my life and had deep confidence in God’s care for their spirit, and in their coming life in the age to come. But there have been times when someone not close to me has died, and I won’t be able to shake the question of whether death might not be the end of everything for us.

Grace and I have had horrible fears about our children and have been sure that God is with us in our parenting and that God is good and sweet to our kids in every way. And then we’ve seen a child face a relatively more minor point of suffering and have wondered if God is really good and present at all.

We don’t always know why or when we doubt, but we do.

It’s normal to have doubts about who and what we hope God to be, or to have doubts about things we have believed or hoped to be true. We feel, we think, we learn, our brains are meant to be active and to wonder. And so they doubt.

And if we ever wondered whether this was or wasn’t OK with God, well we see it right in the pages of scripture, like in the opening to this psalm, where the writer is just airing it out.

God doesn’t listen to me. God doesn’t love me. Even thinking about who or what this silent, absent God must be simply exhausts me. That faith that God would be good, compassionate, promise-keeping – maybe that is a faith of my past.

This person is airing it out, saying it to God, and then writing it down, passing on to others to copy, writing music for these words, saying them repeatedly amongst others. So much attention to these doubts that they make it into the Bible’s book of great prayers.

There’s even the untranslated word selah at the end of some of the lines. The Bible, and church traditions, have kept a few untranslated Hebrew words around. There’s Hallelujah – which means: you, praise God. There’s Amen – which means something like “so be it” or “yes.” And then there’s this lesser known selah, which – well, we don’t really know what it means, but it’s a pause, and there’s a good chance that it’s a cue to musicians for some kind of interlude. Which I like here, because it’s like the psalmist gets to doubt and moan and then stop for a while to play some sad, sad songs, just like we would.

Sad songs for sad times, prayers of doubt for the doubting mind; doubt doesn’t need to hidden or tucked away as if it’s something to be ashamed or afraid of. Doubt needs light, it needs to be seen and expressed.

The only reason we’d think otherwise is if we practiced a fear-based faith, as if doubt made God angry or something. The most common fear-based faith in most religion is a form of fundamentalism, which just means – a professor of mine once taught – that you have no room for doubt or error. That’s fundamentalism in any faith, to have no room for doubt or error. To need to always be right and certain.

Which isn’t faith or anything else helpful, it’s actually a sin.

Here’s where the first Pete comes in. A Bible scholar whose work I appreciate is named Pete Enns, and one of his books is called The Sin of Certainty. And he says a lot of things in that book, but one thing is that to need to always have certain confidence in our beliefs about God is not to trust God more but less. Life’s hard and confusing. We learn new things and have so many new experiences, that of course we’re going to change our minds about some things we thought we knew and we’re going to doubt other things we hope are true.

To never change our mind, to need to be certain about all truth isn’t faith – it’s fear of error or doubt. To never change our mind, to need to be certain that everything we were taught about God or about life is true, is to box God into a form that one person or tradition once taught us, as if we could ever confidently know everything there is to know about something or someone as big as God.

Actual faith isn’t confidence about God, it’s trust in God, trust with God, even in the midst of all our doubt and error. To trust God, to have faith, is to know, sure, we can’t have total certainty about anything we think. Sure, we’ll be wrong about some things and doubt others, and yet we can continue to hope and trust that God is present and good, beyond and within all that we don’t know for sure.

Faith isn’t the opposite of doubt; faith includes doubt.

So I start today’s talk saying that doubt is OK, and doubt needs light, not fear.

Secondly, doubt calls for memory. Let me finish reading the psalm, as the writer starts to remember some things.

10 It’s my misfortune, I thought,

   that the strong hand of the Most High is different now.

11 But I will remember the Lord’s deeds;

   yes, I will remember your wondrous acts from times long past.

12 I will meditate on all your works;

   I will ponder your deeds.

13 God, your way is holiness!

   Who is as great a god as you, God?

14 You are the God who works wonders;

   you have demonstrated your strength among all peoples.

15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people;

   redeemed the children of Jacob and Joseph. Selah

16 The waters saw you, God—

   the waters saw you and reeled!

       Even the deep depths shook!

17 The clouds poured water,

   the skies cracked thunder;

       your arrows were flying all around!

18 The crash of your thunder was in the swirling storm;

   lightning lit up the whole world;

       the earth shook and quaked.

19 Your way went straight through the sea;

   your pathways went right through the mighty waters.

       But your footprints left no trace!

20 You led your people like sheep

   under the care of Moses and Aaron.

The wild places of doubt and trouble call for sad songs, but they also call for old songs. Our doubts need light, but they also remind us we need roots, we need memory.

When the psalmist is going through the hardest season of life, and is full of doubt about everything, that seems a great time to remember the oldest and best story of God that they know. For the psalmist, this is the story of the exodus – the founding rescue story of Israel, retold here in poetry.

Remember that time when God helped our ancestors? Remember that time when the seas fled from our feet, when the waters pulled back at God’s voice? Remember that time when the impossible was made possible, when God helped us, when God freed us, when the skies lit up in wonder? Remember?

What anchors us, what keeps us rooted, when we doubt?

I used to think psalms like this were magical thinking, remembering the greatest God-story we’ve ever heard from the past and imagining that exact thing would surely happen again tomorrow.

The thing is, the psalmist knows that isn’t true. The psalmist thinks about how God’s ways seem different today than they were yesterday, and in one sense that is true. The miracle of the exodus happened just once, and for the psalmist it was hundreds of years in the distant past. By the time this psalm was published, if not written, Israel was scattered again, its kings deposed, its temple destroyed, its dreams deferred. Even when they gathered again in Jerusalem, when they re-achieved a form of freedom and flourishing, Israel’s temple and collective hopes would again be destroyed by the Roman empire.

God was not showing up for them with another exodus every day, not even every century.

And yet, this was still their story, and this was still their God. No one could take that away from them. I love that this psalm – in the middle of this memory – says God is holy. It reminds us that God’s holiness isn’t primarily about abstract moral perfection, it’s about loving faithfulness. What makes God different, what makes God perfect, isn’t abstract at all, it’s that God is ever-present, never-stopping love.

The exodus was one story of that love – who knows what form it will take next?

What God-stories anchors us? What stories of God keep us rooted when we doubt?

We’ve learned that it’s really important for kids to know where they come from. It’s a powerful thing for parents to tell our kids their origin stories. This is what it was like on the day you were born. Here’s what you were like as a baby. These are the stories of your birth, the stories of your childhood, the stories of your roots. Let me tell you, child, where you came from.

Kids are anchored and grounded by these stories. They remind them they are known and loved and matter. They keep them grounded when so much about their identity and future is unknown and insecure.

We all need old stories, stories of roots, stories from the Bible, stories from history, stories from our own lives that remind us that God is present and good to us all, even when that’s hard to see.

Most of us doubt more when we learn new things that threaten our old understandings of God and truth, or when we experience new things that threaten our view of how we’ve thought God and life work.

And given that we live in times when we are learning and experiencing so much that is new, that means we’re going to doubt more than our ancestors did. Let me tell you a story about this for me, and about how light and memory helped.

I’d been taught in my early years of Christian spiritual formation that part of the benefit of faith in Jesus was a present-day relationship with God, with the Spirit and teaching of Jesus present to comfort and guide. And I’d been taught that part of the benefit too was an assurance of life forever with God beyond the grave. I still think this, I still hope this. But I’d also been taught that the only reason I could have assurance of this was that I’d confessed with mouth, as I believed in my heart, that Jesus was in charge of my life, and that Jesus was the one true path to God. And I’d said that publicly in my baptism as well.

Well, like many of you, I’ve come to know over the years some delightful human beings – deep and good and surely loved by God – who knew nothing about Jesus or, for various reasons, didn’t think they wanted anything to do with Jesus, or at least with Christian faith. Sometimes they’ve had pretty good reasons for that too. I’ve seen a few of these delightful human beings die, and thought – surely God wouldn’t love and preserve me, and consign them to the eternal trash can, just because my exposure to Jesus was more thorough or positive than theirs. That didn’t make sense to me.

And then, when I visited Delhi, India for the first time, I’d never been a city that large or that crowded. Tens of millions of people, and sometimes it seemed like they were all in the same traffic jam. I remember looking at this sea of people, this massive crush of humanity, and asking: do these people matter to God? Could God not be with them in some form? What eternal destiny is theirs? And the simple faith assertions I’d been taught before just wouldn’t hold.

The billions of people that had never heard of Jesus, the billions that never said or thought these God-approved statements about Jesus…. it had been implied in my faith that they had no access to God in this life and no hope, or at least no assurance, for life beyond the grave.

Now here I am in Delhi, looking at all these people, and to doubt that aspect of my faith seemed like the only reasonable and loving thing to do.
All these people? Just because they lost a genetic lottery and weren’t born into families or communities that were into Jesus – they get no God, and just some kind of annihilation or hell after death? No chance at the life I got a chance at? That seemed random and unfair, it seemed unworthy of the big and kind God I’d come to love. So I doubted the beliefs I’d been taught. My mind was troubled.

Memory here served me, though. Because I remembered that even Christians haven’t always thought this way about God and the afterlife. I remembered children’s books I’d heard about when I was young, that I’d read in full in my early years of young adult faith, The Chronicles of Narnia, by C.S. Lewis.  I remembered a scene toward the end of the last book, when a good and valiant man from a far away country dies in battle and confronts Aslan, the story’s Jesus figure, after his death. He doesn’t know this Aslan, but his heart and mind are inclined to love and worship him. And Aslan welcomes him into his company and into eternal life because even though he didn’t know Aslan’s name, he trusted God best as he knew God to be, and that had put his soul into a condition to trust and love God beyond the grave as well. To be drawn to light and love.

In this story, C.S. Lewis was alluding to an old and deep Christian tradition that the life and death and life again of Jesus was for all humanity, those that new Jesus by name and those that didn’t. In this understanding, Jesus’ New Covenant was for the whole earth’s participation, not just the people who had the luck to be born into places where they’d hear the name of Jesus.

I’ve remembered this as I looked at the masses of Delhi year after year, and it’s made my initial doubts in Jesus a constructive force, deepening and widening my faith, putting me in touch with beautiful and ancient hopes about the universal reach of Jesus, and giving me more faith and hope and love in the world. These experienced don’t give me doubt any more, because here doubt has been my teacher, nudging me toward God and toward a deeper and broader faith.

As I’ve asked others about their experiences of doubt, I’ve heard many stories like this, how doubting something we thought was true about God or life led to an openness to discover something else that’s truer. For me, my doubt was part of a process that taught me more helpful, more beautiful, more faithful hopes around heaven, hell, people, God, and eternity.

Doubt, with light and memory, can be a safe companion, even a teacher. It’s OK.

This was going to be my whole sermon, an upbeat talk on doubt with stories like this, how if we welcome doubt as a companion, not an enemy, it can even help us. I was even ready to call doubt our friend.  

But then I paused, because a few of you have told me that seasons of doubt have been hard and miserable and full of pain. And I remembered there was something else to say.

For me, doubt hasn’t been rare, but it hasn’t been the most troubling thing. The God I’ve come to know in Jesus has always seemed sweet and good, unexpected for sure, but never harsh or random or mean. So it’s always seemed OK to me to admit that in the end, I’m not all that certain about much. And I can wonder about all kinds of things, and change my mind when I need to. That’s been part of why I haven’t had to fake it as your pastor, that and the fact that in this church we don’t expect our pastors or anyone else to be perfect, or people we always have to agree with.

But again, as I asked some different friends about their experiences with doubt, I heard that for many, doubt can be a painful, mind and heart-wrenching experience. For some, that is because people have been taught a lot about hell, or have been taught that God is fearsome, if not outright random and mean.

But part of it too is there are people, including people in this room right now who have had doubts born of heart-wrenching, gut-busting pain that calls all their hopes and faith into question and makes them wonder – God, are you real? And God if you are, how can you possibly be good?  

I have some talks about God’s love and God’s power, and how I bet those work that I’ll have to give some day, but very much don’t have time for today. But for now, I want to honor these experiences of pain coupled with disappointment. The kind of doubt pain can bring can leave us unfulfilled, empty, and longing for more.

And that’s an awful feeling, but even that – the unfulfilled, empty, longing pangs of doubt may – hard as this is to say – they may be part of a good thing.

Let me be clear about this. I’m not saying our sadnesses or our losses are good. The deep pains we or our loved ones experience are just that – they are pains that hurt. But the ache that grows in us afterwards, the longing, that may be a redemptive gift. Sometimes pain and disappointment put us in touch with the vulnerability of our human experience and put us in touch with the ache for love and the ache for God that is what it means to be alive and to touch God in this life.

Pete Rollins – he’s our second Pete today – helps us think about this. He’s a philosopher and theologian and talks about all the many ways we try to eliminate our vulnerabilities and longings and needs. Because to be incomplete – to not have all the love and satisfaction we need – is to ache and to be empty.

Which from one angle is kind of lousy – who wouldn’t want to be happy and satisfied, certain and fulfilled, all the days of our lives? And yet, those things are impossible for humans. We’re vulnerable. We die. And so to to foster addictions or scapegoats or distractions or even religious systems that try to make us undoubting, always fulfilled, unlonging, certain people is to lie to ourselves and to live without God, who we can only know and find and love in our vulnerability.

When I’m afraid of death, and fear that afterwards there is nothing, it does me no good to repress or hide that fear because it’s still there beneath the surface, doing its thing. For me to be alive is going to include some fear and doubt around death. That’s the deal. And that fear and doubt need light. It also does me no good to use my memory of scripture, or my memories of certain, hopeful times to try to kill my doubts or fear, as if any of us could ever be all strong and all certain and all set in the face of suffering and crisis.

Instead, I can bring my doubt to God and let it become longing. I hear that in the final verse of the psalm, that reads “You led your people like sheep.” You were good to me, God, and I want that again. I want you close. I want you good. I want you guiding us.

In my doubt made longing, I can say to God, as I have: sometimes I’m terrified of death. Or my kid went through such and such, and God, you don’t seem good to them right now. I want you in this, God. And God doesn’t do something to take away all the ache, not usually, but the longing does give me somewhere to bring the ache, and usually there’s a sense that God is there listening, seeing the ache, hearing the ache, and loving me.  

Which is where we’ll end, with love. Because our doubts – with light and memory and longing – don’t take us to the end of doubt but to being loved in our doubt. And love is after all the nature and being and essence of God, and the center of all that is good and true.

There was a famous doubter among Jesus’ disciples, doubting Thomas we call him, the one who didn’t believe Jesus rose from the dead until he touched Jesus’ scarred wounds. But Peter – our third Pete – he doubted too. He doubted he’d be OK if he remained a loyal friend to Jesus, so he denied knowing him. He doubted his female associates’ reports that Jesus had risen, and he hid with the brothers in tiny room behind a locked door. And then even after he saw the risen Jesus, he was so ashamed of himself that he doubted God could ever work something good again in his life – until Jesus came to him on a beach and this happened three times:

John 21:15 (CEB)

15 When they finished eating, Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

Simon replied, “Yes, Lord, you know I love you.”

Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.”

Not: are you certain, Peter? Are you confident? Will you never doubt? We think certain confidence is what will make us strong, but it won’t. It will fail us, and only mask our fears and weaknesses and insecurities. There’s nothing wrong with confidence when it’s ours to have, but the highest command and call of Jesus isn’t to be confident or certain, it is to love. And lonely, overconfident, undoubting certainty doesn’t feed love, it chokes it out.

So Jesus asks Peter: do you love me? And when Peter says yes, Jesus tells him to express that love in how he loves people Jesus loves. Feed my lambs. Take care of the people I love.

And Peter did just that. When he got to write his own book (if write I Peter he did), he begins and ends with Jesus and love. He begins:

I Peter 1:8,5:14 (CEB)

8 Although you’ve never seen him, you love him. Even though you don’t see him now, you trust him and so rejoice with a glorious joy that is too much for words.

And he ends:

14 Greet each other with the kiss of love. Peace to you all who are in Christ.

My friends, even though you’ve never seen Jesus, you’ve never seen God, you can trust God to be good. Even though you doubt and fear and wonder, somewhere in your mind and heart and memory, you love all that you hope Jesus is and will be. That love is enough. Keep it alive. Share the love.

And know God’s peace, even in your doubts.

I close with two invitations here:

An Invitation to Whole Life Flourishing

In times of enormous change, expect great stress and uncertainty. Lean into light, memory, longing, and love as you are able.

Spiritual Practice of the Week

Speak or write your mini-psalm: your personal expression of doubt or anger. Then sit in silence and see if you sense anything from God.

Finding Your True Self Again

We are half way through our winter series about the centrality of love the teaching of Jesus. We’re following this sequence that the author Brian McLaren has recommended – moving from neighbor to self to whole world to God. This being our second week on unselfish love of self. We follow this sequence because when we jump right in to Jesus’ first commandment to love God with all our heart and soul and mind and strength, it’s easy for that to be abstract or disembodied. Love of God can be reduced to believing a statement of faith, or to ideas we have in our head about the divine, or to like a really small number of loyalty tests — like if love God, here are the short list of things we do or don’t do.

The scope of this series is meant to ground us in what love really looks and feels like — kindness, generosity, respect, justice, freedom, a holy yearning for the highest good. And it’s meant to ground us in our real communities and lives and settings because, as I like to say, reality is the friend of God. Our present lives and circumstances are the only place we can experience the goodness and love of God, and they are the only laboratory in which we can learn to love. Our present lives and circumstances are the only studio in which we can train in God’s ways of love for us and through us.

Our reality is God’s friend, but it’s not always our friend. Or we don’t think it is. Sometimes the real us that God loves is not the person we’re trying to be.

I remember, for instance, the day I decided that if I was going to be a leader, I was going to have to become guarded and humorless. It happened like this. I was a new principal of a school, and I’d been encouraging more hands-on, discovery-based learning. Kids were bored in class, the work was too often meaningless, and I was inviting teachers to consider how they could connect their teaching with more real-world discovery and connection. So I was thrilled when I learned over email that the whole middle and high school social studies department had introduced a new kind of summer project. Rather than required readings, they were asking all students to visit a monument and to notice and do certain things. Well, I thought that was the greatest, and I wanted to encourage them. So I chimed in on this email thread where I had been included. And I said: How great is this. Who knows what amazing monuments our kids will discover and visit? Maybe one of them will even go here:

And I included a link I found. It was a picture of a monument constructed in Russia in 2008, a monument to the enema. I kid you not — this is a real thing. As you may imagine, one of a kind as well. Yeah, these three cherubs are holding an 800-pound bronze syringe bulb.

I thought this was hysterical and just the kind of thing a clever high school kid would try to visit in a monument project. So I sent the picture with my congratulations, and got a couple of cool, Gee, thanks, Steve, emails came back. But then the next day, at the end of the school day, my boss, the city’s superintendent, called me into her office. And her assistant superintendent was there as well, and they said — Steve, we need to talk. And they gave me this dressing down about how leaders have to watch what they say and email. I guess one of the middle school faculty who didn’t know me thought I was mocking their work and that the whole enema monument picture was in poor taste, which — fair enough — maybe it was. But I still hold, it was funny.

Anyway, there was something for me to learn, I’m sure, about being careful with my communications, particularly with people that didn’t know me. But the way that meeting went, I left ashamed of myself, and determined to never get in trouble like that again. I remember saying out loud, I guess if I want to do this work, I need to kill off my sense of humor, or at least bury it for a while, and I need to be on my guard.

And you know who lost out because of that? Everybody. Everyone.

This might not be the only reason, but I spent the rest of my tenure in that position more guarded, more sober, less cheerful, frankly less childlike than I actually am. Parts of true me got covered over, I put those parts of myself into hibernation, and I think my work and I both suffered for it.

Sometimes in our work, or in other areas of our lives, we lose our true selves. We cover it over with the false self we try to become or that we project to the world. We reject or hide a part of ourselves that God dearly loves, and that we’d flourish if we were to love as well.

Today I’ll talk about this concept that psychologically astute theologians have written about — it’s the true self and the false self. Part of loving ourselves as Jesus calls us to is uncovering, inhabiting, and appreciating our true selves — not the fake self we wish we were or the image we wish we could present to the world — but the one who we are, who we were made to be, the real person God loves today.

We’ll see that the recovery of the true self is one feature of what Jesus and the scriptures call salvation.

Let’s meet someone else, a man from the pages of Jesus’ memoirs, who in his work has lost his true self. He’s a man famous for being short, and for being a collector of taxes, and his name’s Zaccheus. Here’s his story.

Luke 19:1-10 (CEB)

19 Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through town. 2 A man there named Zacchaeus, a ruler among tax collectors, was rich. 3 He was trying to see who Jesus was, but, being a short man, he couldn’t because of the crowd. 4 So he ran ahead and climbed up a sycamore tree so he could see Jesus, who was about to pass that way. 5 When Jesus came to that spot, he looked up and said, “Zacchaeus, come down at once. I must stay in your home today.” 6 So Zacchaeus came down at once, happy to welcome Jesus.

7 Everyone who saw this grumbled, saying, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.”

8 Zacchaeus stopped and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord, I give half of my possessions to the poor. And if I have cheated anyone, I repay them four times as much.”

9 Jesus said to him, “Today, salvation has come to this household because he too is a son of Abraham. 10  The Human One came to seek and save the lost.”

I love this story so much. We think sometimes about sin as these rash choices we make that hurt us or someone else, and virtue as these quietly good habits of ours. But in Zaccheus’ life it’s the reverse — his sin, his missing the mark, is this long, steady descent into a life I’m sure he never wanted for himself. But he reverses course in this rash, impulsive choice toward goodness and justice.

So much we don’t know about this man Zaccheus. A few things we do know, though, and then a few things I imagine might be so. We know that Zaccheus is short of stature, a line about his height but also a hint about his reputation — not fully accepted by the Romans and now also resented by his fellow Jews. A man who does not belong.

We also know that he is wealthy, and that his wealth came through questionable means. He’s a highly placed collaborator with the Roman Empire. I talked last week about how Rome pushed violence and massive taxes out to the edge of its empire to create prosperity and peace at its center. Residents of first century Palestine faced a huge tax burden that didn’t much benefit from, and local tax collectors made their wealth through charging extra and skimming it off the top. As a chief tax collector at this point, Zaccheus is benefiting from a whole team of collectors selling out their own culture, with Zaccheus skimming off what they skim. He has cheated a lot of people.

What drives a person into this line of work? How do you start betraying your own culture, and participating in an oppressive economic system? How do you end up rich, but alienated and unhappy?

Well, we don’t know, but I imagine how it might have been, and to tell you what I imagine, I have to tell you about this insight from the therapist Dan Allender. Dan Allender has written a lot of books on faith and psychology, he has a center now at the Seattle School, and he’s got this podcast I listen to sometimes too. And on the podcast, Dan Allender had three episodes on delight as a really useful compass in decision making.

And in that teaching, Allender pointed out that grownups so often make our decisions out of duty, debt, or necessity. We do what we think we ought, or we have to, or we must. And plenty of times, this is fine — this is just called being an adult. We’re supposed to do a chore in our household, and we do that chore — people are counting on us. Or we have student loans, and we do what need to do to pay them. This is part of life, and finding a way to satisfy our duties and debts and necessities with commitment, and with a measure of gratitude and joy is central to any good life.

That said, Allender observes that when we live primarily out of duty, debt, and necessity, we end up with a life of pressure and boredom, and a lack of life and vitality. We feel the pressure of our mounting debt and duties. And we don’t much like the life we’re living, so we get bored and we lack enthusiasm and energy. That describes my guarded, humorless phase of leadership pretty well. More cautious, more of what others would call responsible, but under pressure, less myself, less alive.

Can you feel me on this at all?

In your work, are you primarily driven by duty and necessity? In your finances, is the main story about your crushing debt or your anxieties? Is all this leaving you bored, or pressured, or just sucking the life out of you?

I wonder if this is what happened to Zacchues. Perhaps he was afraid of the empire’s might, and responded to their call to duty, to serve Rome? Maybe he or his parents had debt, and he saw a way to earn good money and be out from under it? Maybe he started out as a tax collector, not knowing how corrupt he’d become, or how resented he’d by his whole community, but once he’d put in time and experience, he saw no other way out, just a necessity in continuing with what he knows.

Whatever the story looked like for him, more and more he became this different person. He was small and wanted to project an image of strength, and so he did. Or he followed necessity and duty and debt into this life of wealth, but lost his center in the process. Either way, he now inhabited this false self — the person he was never meant to be.

There’s two clues in the text that I’m onto something here. One is about the tree. When Zaccheus wants to see Jesus, he climbs into a sycamore tree. Which it’s been pointed out is a tree that can look like a fruity fig tree, but in fact bears no fruit. Jesus used fruit and the fruit of fig trees in particular to represent a good life, a life whose good center is producing good, healthy, visible results. This tree isn’t that — no fruit. And then this word Zaccheus uses for what he’s done wrong – he’s cheated or defrauded people. There’s a play on words here, in that linguistically connected to the word “fig” as well — figs being an important part of the ancient near eastern economy.

Zaccheus himself is a “false fig.” No stature, and no fruit. He’s lost his way. He’s the false, unhappy, fruitless version of what he was meant to be.

The second clue is what Jesus calls him. When Jesus sees him up in the tree, in Jesus’ mind, the obvious next step is to say: we have got to share a meal together in your home. Which nobody else was doing, right? Because they hated Zaccheus, the feared him probably — go to this guy’s house and he’ll take your money. They certainly resented him, he was a sell-out; he had lost his belonging in their community.

But not to Jesus. After Zaccheus experiences Jesus seeing him, Jesus’ welcome of him, he makes this extravagant pledge of justice and economic restoration. Then Jesus says of Zaccheus, good stuff is happening today, you’re seeing salvation, because this too is a son of Abraham. This is a real Jew! This man belongs in our family. He’s good people.

Jesus sees the true self. The guy who’s great with money and the guy who’s great with communication and relationships, but who’s now using those skills the way they were meant to be used. The real you is finally showing itself, Jesus says.

The Catholic mystic Thomas Merton wrote,

Every one of us is shadowed by an illusory person: a false self. This is the person that I want myself to be but who cannot exist, because God does not know anything about him… My false… self is the one who wants to exist outside the reach of God’s will and God’s love – outside of reality and outside of life. And such a self cannot help but be an illusion.

Another writer, William Shannon says the false self “is a human construct that we bring into being by our own actions, especially our habits of selfishness and our constant flight from reality. It is an empty self. This is the self that we protect at all costs and shelter with fabrications.”

We all have these versions of ourselves that we’re trying to be—the image of who we wish we were, or the image we’re trying to project into the world. These days, our social media self is part of how we do that. Look, I’m so happy, we say to the world.

Perhaps our false self is the person of our fantasies, perhaps as I talked about last week, it’s the reaction to the story someone else wrote for our life. Or perhaps our false self is the person that our duty or debt or necessity has led us to become.

God sees through this false self to the real you, the real me. In fact, theologians tell us God can’t see our false selves at all, because they don’t really exist. God can only see what’s real and true. So Jesus looks at Zaccheus and didn’t see that sold out, empty soul tax collector. Jesus didn’t love Zaccheus despite who he was. Jesus loved the true Zaccheus he could still see. He still saw the real son of Abraham, the good and just and generous guy of his true self.

Just like back when in reaction to necessity and fear, I made my vow of humorless caution, Jesus looked and still saw childlike, enthusiastic me, waiting for the true self to be released again.

I love Jesus’ favorite nickname for himself we get in the last verse. It’s normally translated Son of Man, as a title, as it references some important Hebrew scripture about a Son of Man. But it also literally means son of a guy, like a human being, or as the editors of this excellent translation call it – The Human One. The real person.

Jesus is the only human who always was his true self, and only sees the true self in everybody else. The Human One is looking for us. The Human One has come to seek and save the lost. The Human One knows the real you, and the Human One is looking for that real you to show, friends. For you to love your true self.

Sometimes Jesus finds the real us in worship, in prayer and meditation, in the vulnerability we practice in community — these are all places we can be our real selves and find that we known and loved by God, and come to know and love ourselves.

But it’s fun when this happens in public life too, like when it happens at work. I had a cool experience of this recently as a supervisor. This is a story about one of our beloved pastors, Ivy Anthony, and I share it with her total permission.

Ivy and I were having her annual review, talking about her work last year, and some things she’s learned. And one of her comments was that over the past three years as a pastor, she’s learned something important about who she is as a person and as a worker, I guess. She said she’d always known she was good at compliance. She worked in finance and business, I think in the area of compliance in particular. And she knew how to that because always, since she was young, she knew how to follow all the rules. Ivy, the person of compliance.

But you all know, if you’ve been part of this community very long, that over the past three years, Ivy has been the driving force behind some of the most beautiful innovation, the creations of sacred space. She’s envisioned and led our retreats and our occasional participatory liturgies on Sundays when we change our service to a less verbal, and more interactive experience. She’s designed these experiences in which we can take a breath and be with one another and try to notice the God who is with us in all things as well. And I’m talking with Ivy, and she’s like, this creative person, this person who designs space and experience for community and connection with God and one another — this isn’t like this thing I’ve done on the side, this is an important part of who I am. Not just compliance but innovation and creativity.

Which is such a gift to us all for Ivy to share her gifts with us, but so awesome for her to, to more and more see and love her true self, the self Jesus sees and loves as well.

This is what Jesus, the Human One, does for us all — see us, see the real me, the real you, invite himself over to spend time in our houses, saying this too is my kind of person. I love this one!

And in this, if we let it, salvation comes. The uncovering of the beloved, true self. The release of the full you and the full me.

I love this enthusiasm that is released in Zaccheus. It’s kind of over the top. He’s not thinking about what a massive and fraught program it is that he’s announcing. I’m gonna pay back everybody, and all the ones who’s suffered injustice, I’ll pay them all extra!

How will he do all this? How will he see it through? We have no idea, but we see this moment of delight. When Zaccheus shifts from duty and necessity and debt to the kind of deep goodness that brings not just temporary release or pleasure, but deep satisfaction.

In his case, Zacchues goes from a leech on his world to a force of reparative justice and generosity. He goes from boredom and pressure and no vitality, no life, on the edges of community climbing up in that tree, and he goes into community, and into a life of joyful purpose, into the delight of his real, true self.  

It’s hard to drop the false self we’ve wanted to be or made ourselves look to be. So much grumbling with Zaccheus. People are upset when Jesus goes to his house. It would be easier in a way to keep his distance and just keep being that duty and debt and necessity-driven not-so-great false self he’s lived into.

But he seems to want something new too much. He’s not satisfied with the false self anymore. He wants something better. This is what loving ourselves looks like, not always just doing the next thing duty or debt drives us to, but also not just doing the next easy thing, even the next easy distracting or pleasurable thing.

Loving ourselves includes learning to live out of our true self. Asking, what would deeply delight me and bring me joy? What contribution do I have to give the world, must I give the world, really, for me to be alive? What incredible story of love and justice do I long to be part of?

To find our way back to your true self is to say yes when you can to what deeply delights you, to the real aspiration of your soul. To find your way back to your true self is to be at peace with the real you that God made and finds delightful.

An Invitation to Whole Life Flourishing

Where do you feel pressure or boredom or a lack of vitality in your primary work? Is there a primary motivation of debt or duty driving this? Is there anything truly delightful you can pursue in this setting, something that will draw out your truest self?

Spiritual Practice of the Week

Welcome Jesus into the home of your false self. Tell Jesus about the person you are trying to be, or the image you are trying to project to the world, that isn’t you, that isn’t real. Ask Jesus for a vision of work that is true to who you are, that is just, generous, and delightful.

Dreaming with Jesus

How many of you have been to Yume Wo Katare? It’s the ramen shop of dreams over in Porter Square. If you go there, you can eat a big bowl of ramen and announce to everyone else the big dream of your life. I know for some folks, homemade ramen is the best. It’s not my favorite food ever, but I was thinking this week that I really wanted to go over to lunch at Yume Wo Katare, because talking about our dreams was on my mind.

I’ve been working a theory of mine that after we grow up, it’s easy to dream poorly, if at all, and hard to keep dreaming well. (I know – poorly/well, bad/good – sounds a little judgey maybe, but I’ll get back to that.) Anyway, I’ve been thinking about how we do or don’t dream for the future, and I thought this week, it’s about time I think about this over a big bowl of ramen.

I had plans to take someone out to lunch, but then I found out that the ramen shop was closed for lunch most of this week. So I had to go somewhere else and figured I’d go back by myself for lunch on Friday, when I had the day off.

But Friday came along and my day started with this really irritating fail of a customer service experience. And then you know those days when one bad thing happens, and then it’s like somehow the thread starts to unravel. Well, it was turning into one of those kind of days. Plus, we had this fall monsoon going on, and I thought: you know, the last thing I want to do right now is bike over to Porter Square in the wind and rain to put down money for a little field experiment on dreams.

So instead, I do what we all do when we don’t the energy to show up for real life. I just went on the internet.

I started searching “what is your dream” and after wading through a lot of self-help advice about accomplishing anything in the world you might want to do, I found some interesting video projects where people are asked just this question – what is your dream?

Unsurprisingly, the kids are great at this. They talk about that amazing careers they want to have, the good they want to do in the world, the puppies they’re going to own. My favorite was the kid,  maybe 5 years old, who said: My dream is to be a babysitter.

The adults have it tougher – a lot of adults when asked the question pause, they laugh sometimes because it’s a hard question. What do you dream? A lot of us can only think of having a little more time off, maybe a little more money, or a job we like a little more.

It’s hard to dream. It’s hard to dream that our lives can get better, that things can change, that the world can get better and change for the good.

This is why in this season of Light in the Darkness, in the weeks leading up to Christmas, we’ve been looking at the dreams of the Christmas story. How the hope and the news of Jesus’ birth interrupts the dreary status quo and the challenges of Jesus’ father Joseph, his mother Mary, our own disappointments, and dreariness, and even out nightmares as well.  

And today, we’re going to come alongside the grown-up Jesus himself, and listen to Jesus’ dreams, and see if we can dream with him his big dreams for us all.

Listen to the words of Jesus:

Mark 4:26-32 (CEB)

26 Then Jesus said, “This is what God’s kingdom is like. It’s as though someone scatters seed on the ground, 27  then sleeps and wakes night and day. The seed sprouts and grows, but the farmer doesn’t know how. 28  The earth produces crops all by itself, first the stalk, then the head, then the full head of grain. 29  Whenever the crop is ready, the farmer goes out to cut the grain because it’s harvesttime.”

30 He continued, “What’s a good image for God’s kingdom? What parable can I use to explain it? 31  Consider a mustard seed. When scattered on the ground, it’s the smallest of all the seeds on the earth; 32  but when it’s planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all vegetable plants. It produces such large branches that the birds in the sky are able to nest in its shade.”

You can learn a lot about someone when you ask them about their dreams. A friend of mine told me of this odd job interview once. His prospective employer asked him about his big dreams. He was like, I don’t know if my dreams are actually that big. And my friend described his kind of modest but really important dreams of doing good work in his profession – benefiting the local company and its customers. And then he talked about a couple of particular innovations in his field that he thought would serve people now and maybe even for a generation or two to come. And the interviewer sort of nodded, OK – good enough answer.

And then the interesting part was that my friend said, you know out of curiosity, would you mind if I asked as well, since this question is on your mind. What are your big dreams? And then this prospective boss, was like sure, I can share. My big dream is: and then he proceeded to describe running this whole other kind of company and getting impossibly rich and famous in the process.

And my friend wasn’t quite sure what to say. He was pretty sure this prospective boss of his wasn’t joking, but he wanted to check, so he asked: really, I’m interviewing to work with you in this industry, but you hope that somehow you’ll break into this other industry entirely, one you have no experience in, and not only that, but that you’ll rise to the top of the food chain and become rich and powerful in the process?

And the guy was like: well, I wouldn’t put it that way, but sure, more or less.

My friend’s one takeaway from this big dream of his prospective boss was to make sure to find another job with a different boss. One a little more grounded, one – how do I say this politely – a little less full of himself.

Jesus’ Big Dream

I love that when Jesus grew up and talked about his dreams, not only did he not have these grandiose, self-centered notions of what his life would become. Jesus actually didn’t talk much about himself at all. He told stories about people growing things. Farmers scatter seeds, women knead yeast into bread, investors make loans, and they all smile as things grow and grow and grow.

Jesus said this is his dream, that people will grow and grow something good, something Jesus called The Kingdom of God.

The Kingdom of God. This is Jesus’ name for his biggest dream.

It’s the biggest topic of his teaching, in the stories we’ve read today and in many, many others. In contrast to a kingdom like the Roman Empire Jesus and all who knew him lived under, the Kingdom of God isn’t a single place with borders and armies. It’s more like anywhere on earth where things are going God’s way, it’s the spaces where people and maybe all of creation is saying yes to God’s good freedom and life.

As I’ve taught before, some modern scholars have noticed that this kingdom language is kind of archaic and patriarchal – we don’t live in a feudal age anymore. And they’ve suggested that a world like kindom – dropping the “g” and emphasizing the family of God – might capture the spirit of Jesus’ original teaching better. So I’ve taken to writing kingdom with little brackets around the (g) to remind me of both meanings.

I’ve taken a stab at defining this kin(g)dom along these lines – it’s the places and spaces and community where the life of God is flourishing. And Jesus tells us that his role (still now), the role of baby Jesus all grown up, died, resurrected, and present to us and all the world now by his spirit is to keep inviting us forward into growing with Jesus the places and spaces and community where the life of God is flourishing.

This Christmas, I want us to dream with Jesus of this Kingdom of his. I want us to imagine and welcome with Jesus this kindom he’s growing among us. I’d love for us to dream again, and dream the dreams of Jesus.

I want to share just three things we learn about Jesus’ big dream in the hope that we can come alongside and dream with Jesus about this same Kin(g)dom flourishing in our lives and our times.

The first thing, maybe the most obvious thing we can see about Jesus’ Kingdom is that it’s the littlest smallest thing that has within it the capacity to become so very big. Jesus thinks aloud – what’s a good way to describe this dream of mine?

And he says, Oh, it’s like a seed, the most common and most tiniest of seeds where Jesus lived. The mustard seed.

Jesus’ big dream is a tiny, dead looking thing you bury in the earth and then… wait for it… nothing. And the next day more nothing, and more nothing after that. Until eventually the tiniest sprout pops out of the ground, and then the tiniest leaf, and then week after week until it’s that giant shrub of a mustard plant.

All good flourishing that we grow with Jesus is like this, small, sometimes even dead-looking things that slowly burst into abundant life.

I’m reminded of a conversation with a friend of mine recently who was wondering when she’d be able to pursue big dreams again, and how she can participate in the big work of God that needs to be done in the world. She works part-time, and she’s got real little kids at home too. And she was saying she spends so much of her week trying to make sure these kids eat, and sleep, and use the potty. And she’s like there’s important work for justice to be done out there. When do I get to be part of it?

But even as she was saying it, another friend asked – what about your work? What about all you’re growing with these kids right now? And this is a parent who isn’t just trying to help her kids be happy and successful, but is doing what she can to raise kind, resilient, courageous, just, generous kids. This may seem small, but it is beautiful work. Vitally important work of God.

Anything adults do with youth is like this. It rarely feels big and glamorous. But it’s the mustard seed growth of Jesus. Did you know that about forty percent of the world’s population is under 25? Over a quarter of the world’s people are under 15 – we’re a young world! So if we’re not tending to kids and youth, loving and nurturing them like the human gardeners we are meant to be, than there will be no good, strong adults very soon. No trees. Anything we do on behalf of the welfare of youth is mustard seed, God’s work of flourishing.

And I’m going to warn you, I’m going to make a gendered comment here, only because as progressive as Cambridge or Massachusetts may be, so often it’s still women and moms doing the lion’s share of love and presence and work for kids and youth.

So dads, and not just dads, but all men, dads or not, our kids and youth need us too. Just as the work of loving and growing kids is not just for parents, but for all of us, it is also not just for women, but for all of us. When we are present with kids and youth on their turf, when we listen and nurture, and love and care and hold and teach, we are doing some of the holiest and most important work we’ll ever do in our lives. All of us.

Much of the best and most beautiful things that make Jesus smile, that are at the center of the renewal God is doing today in the world are small and humble things done with great care and love and purpose. The prophet Zechariah in the Bible once asked: Who dares despise the day of small beginnings? Jesus thinks of his big dreams for the way of God flourishing on earth and says, it’s like a mustard seed. Small, humble, sometimes looking like it’s got no potential, no future. Oh, but don’t you dare despise this day of small beginnings. Because when God grows it, what big good it will do and be!

Dreaming Beyond Ourselves

This is the second thing Jesus says about his dreams of the family and Kingdom of God. Not just that it starts small and grows, but that it grows to produce tremendous flourishing for life beyond itself.

Jesus’ dreams are never about himself. And so dreaming with Jesus means getting outside ourselves as well.

That’s why my friend at the job interview with the potential boss who seemed all caught up in his outsized version of himself didn’t wait around for an opportunity to work there, but just moved on. Because good dreams, solid, bankable dreams aren’t ever just about us, but about the flourishing of others and the flourishing of the world around us. Good dreams find our joy and purpose and success tied to the joy and purpose and success of our environment and our communities.

Jesus said, this is what the mustard seed does. It doesn’t just grow up and make mustard, and mustard greens, great as they are. It also contributes in a significant way to its whole interconnected ecosystem. “It grows and becomes the largest of all vegetable plants. It produces such large branches that the birds in the sky are able to nest in its shade.”

I mentioned that I’ve noticed that when we grow up, it’s harder to keep dreaming. Because life gives us struggle and disappointment. And then when we dream, it’s easier for our dreams to become just about getting by, a little more money or free time, a little less discomfort for ourselves.

This is why I so admire people who stay the course as grown-ups using our time and talents for flourishing beyond ourselves.

I think of a friend of mine whose business has grown beyond what he saw coming. So he could cash out now, make a ton of money, and let someone else pull apart and do what they want with this company he’s built. Win for him. But he’s not doing that now, because this business is doing some great things for his employees and his suppliers and his customers. The whole human and environmental ecosystem around the business is better for its growth.

And I know that brings him joy, to be part of mustard-plant flourishing, for this bigger and bigger tree to make space for the birds of the air to nest in its shade. Life is real God-dreamed life not when it sucks up the oxygen just for itself, but when it makes space for more and more life.

So these are the dreams of Jesus in our world. For small beginnings, small things that look more like death than life, to be tended to and nurtured, and so to flourish into great life that makes more life. For God to grow the good and true and the beautiful that leads to justice and mercy and health for other humans and all creation.

In a holiday week that’s become so much about me and mine, at a time of the year where the pressures of nostalgia for personal happiness are so high, I can think of a worse Christmas word. Dream with Jesus, friends, have hope in God today, to grow what flourishes out of the small things and small people and small dreams you have access to. Make it not only about your own happiness, but about a whole flourishing system around you. And God will be with you in that.

But there’s one more aspect of Jesus’ big dream, the most radical and subversive part of it, actually, and the part that has the most to do with the original Christmas story, that I have to mention as well.

This last aspect of Jesus’ big dream is that Jesus’ dream is radically different. Jesus contrasts his dreams with imperial corporate dreams of market share or dominance. They’re really entirely different from anything like an American dream too. Jesus’ dreams are humbler and healthier and better and ultimately way more robust than all that.

See, Jesus in his little story about mustard seeds and the Kingdom of God is actually riffing off of some other, very different stories about big trees in the scriptures.

The ancient prophet Ezekiel, for instance, has this to say about the once mighty Mediterranean super-power of Assyria:

 

Ezekiel 31:3-6, 12-14 (CEB)

3 Consider Assyria, a cedar of Lebanon:

   beautiful branches, dense shade, towering height;

   indeed, its top went up between the clouds.

4 Waters nourished it; the deep raised it up,

   because its streams flowed around the place where it was planted.

From there, water trickled down to all the other trees of the field.

5     And so it became higher than all the trees of the field.

Its branches became abundant; its boughs grew long.

   Because of the plentiful water, it grew freely.

6 All the birds in the sky made nests in its branches;

   all the beasts of the field gave birth under its boughs,

       and in its shade, every great nation lived.

Does this sound familiar so far? It should, because it’s the exact language Jesus used to describe his dream of the mustard seed.

Assyria, though, is a little different, and its end is different as well.

12 Foreigners, the worst of the nations, cut it down

   and left it to lie among the hills.

All its branches fell among the valleys,

   and its boughs were broken off in the earth’s deep ravines.

All the earth’s peoples departed from its shade and abandoned it.

13 On its trunk roost all the birds in the sky,

   and on its boughs lie all the beasts of the field.

14 All this has happened so that no other well-watered tree would tower high or allow its branches to reach among the clouds. Nor would their leaders achieve the towering stature of such well-watered trees. Certainly, all of them are consigned to death, to the world below, among human beings who go down to the pit.

So, that’s kind of a different outcome than we get in Jesus’ story. An ironic one – it’s good poetry – the birds that used to nest in this great tree’s shade now roost on its blackened stump, while beasts take naps around its moldering branches. The beasts and the birds have found a way to press on – the tree, not so much.

Ezekiel is telling us how history works. Proud, greedy empires that reach and overreach to dominate and extract from others will think they are the biggest, baddest, greatest force on earth, the best in the world, blessed by God, but in the end they will lose their power and fade from history. People and institutions and nations that seek to win at others’ expense, rather than collaborate in a mutually beneficial dream of flourishing, will fall and die.

Ezekiel can speak in the past tense of Assyria, and he’s sending a not so coded message in the present to the empire of his day, Babylonia.

Centuries later, in the book of Daniel, the exact same language about trees is used, this time about the Babylonia and their even bigger successor superpower Persia. And like Ezekiel, Daniel is probably speaking in not-so-coded language to the contemporary Greek Ptolemaic and Seleucid empires that followed the Persian defeat by the Greeks.

In Jesus’ prophetic tradition, the big tree with the birds nesting in its shade is an image of people and institutions and nations so full of themselves and their own aspirations that they fail to love or serve anyone but themselves.

Here’s what I think Jesus is up to in quoting all this. Jesus is saying: I’m dreaming of something different than all that.

Permission to Dream

Jesus was not some pie-in-sky country dreamer. Jesus was born into a hard time and hard place that was reeling from a century of hard, scary, violent times.

Some eighty years before Jesus’ birth, the high priest and king of Jerusalem, crucified as many as 800 Judean men, slaughtering their wives and children as well, while he and his concubines got drunk and watched for sport. Some 35 years before Jesus’ birth, the Hasmonean king Herod, in allegiance with the growing Roman empire, solidified his rule over Judea by laying siege to Jerusalem, starving the whole city, for four months. After gaining power, he murdered all his enemies and taxed the region heavily to pay for his opulent lifestyle and his endless building projects that only benefited the ruling elite.

Hard times. Jesus’ contemporaries, Jesus own mother we heard last week, longed for a break from all this, for a break from the violence, corruption, and rich-get-richer while poor-get-poorer policies and practices of this age. They wanted safety, relief from the chaos of bad governance, the freedom to flourish in their communities.

Sound familiar? We may not know the stories of the Babylonian, and Assyrian, and Seleucid and Ptolemaic and Hasmonean empires. But we know what this old full-of-its own dreams tree looks like. We know the marketing claims of our own times’ imperial and corporate giants that their growth will be for our benefit. You know, after they sell all of our data and impoverish our workforce. We know the narcissists in our lives that only care about themselves.

Even our church, in our early days, could get caught up in dreaming that we were the most important thing in our city, like we were the center of all that God was doing.  

But Jesus, with his dreams of the family and kingdom of God, says it’s not going to be this way.  We’ll honor the small people and small things and small beginnings, and we’ll insist on true flourishing. On life and growth that leads to benefits for a whole system and community, not just for the dreamer.

Jesus says, my family, my kingdom will be built around generous people. People who devote themselves to their own inner growth and health and maturity, while refusing to judge and insult others. People who trust God with our own anxieties rather than working them out on other people. Jesus says, the big thing I do on earth is going to be through people and institutions who do justice by always including others in their own success, rather than walling off from others in fear.

Jesus’ Kingdom looks nothing like the national powers that he or we have known. His kin-dom looks nothing like the profit-driven businesses or the shallow narcissists that grab our attention. It’s deep, it’s expansive, it’s just, it’s generous – the plant so large that the birds of the air can nest in its shades, the dreamers so generous that new life can flourish in our growth.

Friends, it’s alright to dream again. Whatever is hard in your life or your times is not the whole of your story. Our faith tells us that Jesus is a dreamer of good and flourishing things, and that Jesus is a gardener, growing what’s good and abundant, life that begets more life, even out of the smallest, hardest, dried up looking seeds.

There’s room for each of us and our dreams in the dreams of Jesus.

An Invitation to Whole Life Flourishing

Look for the mustard seeds among you this Christmas. Notice and celebrate and invest in the small people and moments and ideas and organizations that have promise to lead to real flourishing.

Spiritual Practice of the Week

Say to yourself, and to Jesus, I am the mustard seed, we are the mustard seed. Grow in me, grow in us, your flourishing new life.

Institutions Ruin the World, and Institutions Will Save It

This month we’ve tried to share some of our best content on pursuing a life of faith and having that go well for us, and the people around us. Last week Ivy invited you all to a year-end reflection on just what is or isn’t going well in your experience of faith, as well as how your experience connecting with a faith community at Reservoir is going. That reflection booklet is available on our info kiosk in the lobby and if you’re around with us on the last Sunday of the year, just before New Year’s Day, we’ll touch base on it during that service as well. I really hope that many of us will take an hour or two with that reflection – you’ll see there’s a tear off sheet at the back to turn in and have a conversation with one of our staff or one of our trained leaders about what you learned as well. The point of those conversations isn’t to gather feedback on the church and it certainly isn’t to check up on you or anything! It’s to give everybody here a chance to have someone listen well to how your life of faith is going, and to pray for you. So I hope that many of you will take us up on that offer.

The other thing we’ve done this month is try to make it easy for you to become a member of Reservoir, if you’d like, to not just attend services or make friends here, but to make this your church as well.

People Hate Institutions

I was talking this fall with a guy who runs a program called Faith and Leadership at Duke University, and he was telling me that the funders of his program wanted to call it the Institute for Christian Institutions, or something like that. And he told them: please, don’t. If you want to kill this program, call it anything to do with institutions. Because people hate institutions.

My guess is that even if you don’t personally hate institutions, you at least don’t trust them very much. For fifty years, Americans have trusted political institutions less and less. And for good reason. We’ve discovered that our presidents break laws they think don’t apply to them, have bombs dropped in places they aren’t telling us about, send money places they shouldn’t for agendas they wouldn’t admit to. We don’t trust particular politicians, sure – that’s probably been true forever. But most of us don’t trust the political institutions they work in either.

The same has been happening in our lifetime with churches as institutions. I mean, how many scandals in the life of a religious leader are revealed until nothing surprises you anymore? I’m past that point. How many times does a religious community talk one way about its mission and act another way entirely, before people write them off for good?

I was reading some polls last week about Americans’ trust in various institutions, and the polls just happened to run annually from 2018 back to the year of my birth. And in turns out that trust in Congress, in the presidency, in Supreme Court, in religious institutions, in the press, in banks, in public schools are all at or near all-time lows, or at least lows in my lifetime.

We don’t trust institutions and more and more, we don’t join them either. We’re spending more time alone, less time in public gatherings, and committing less of our time and money and hope to organizations and institutions our collective life depends upon.

Because institutions ruin the world.

Which is why the man at Duke wanted nothing to do with that word. And he won, and his program that helps Christian institutions do good in the world is called something else entirely.

But what I want to share today is a conviction that this gentleman at Duke and I both share, which is that institutions will also save the world. Now I’m being a little tongue in cheek. We start our annual Christmas season called Light in the Darkness next week, where we ask how Jesus is saving the world. And I put my hope for the future good of the world in Jesus, not in any particular institution.

…But Institutions Also Do A Lot of Good

That said, if Jesus is going to save the world, a lot of the good is going to happen through institutions. Dave Odom, the man at Duke, says that an institution is something that lasts for three or more generations. It’s something that serves some kind of good for more than fifty years.

And if there’s anything we want that our parents or grandparents needed or that we hope will be around for at least another generation or two, we look to an institution to get it for us.

If we want water, we don’t head over to the Charles River, scoop up a handful, and drink it down. We look to institutions – to the people in our past who created reservoirs and aqueducts and pipes and pumps, and to the water authorities in our own times who maintain those systems and preserve them for the future. Thank God for clean water institutions!

And if we want heat or food or education, with some exceptions, generally we look to institutions to do these things for us. And we invest in their capacity to do it over 50 years or more, because we want our grandchildren, or other people’s grandchildren to also have water and heat and food and education so they can live and tend to our world and pass on those goods for another three generations.

Institutions—private and public, big and small—are collective agents of the evil in human hearts and the havoc we wreak on our earth and on one another. But institutions are also the containers of our hope and our blessing, the collective means by which we tend to our own needs and care for the survival and thriving of future generations.

And so with spiritual formation and a deeply flourishing world, it’s no different. If we want Jesus to do something good and beautiful in our city that will last for 3 generations or more, then it’s not going to be done through a single person, or through a loose collection of heroes, but through organized groups that are bigger than any one person, that outlast the influence or charisma or faults of any one person.

So I’ve called today’s talk Institutions Will Ruin the World, and Institutions Will Save It because much as I share your distrust of Congress and the presidency and religious institutions and banks and all the rest of it, I know that we don’t get the world we want in silos. The deepest goods we want for ourselves and we want to pass to future generations happen together. And I deeply want us to be joiners and committers and builders and funders – people that shape institutions, our own institution of Reservoir Church included, to do powerful good over the next three generations and beyond.

The scriptures affirm that we’re wise to not blindly trust institutions, who so often can be our enemy. One of the letters in the Bible is called Ephesians, because it was circulated to house churches in Ephesus and other cities around Western Asia, modern day Turkey. And tradition has it that the author of this letter was a Jewish follower of Jesus named Paul, who wrote it while on house arrest, guarded by a Roman soldier.

Paul looks at this soldier and uses his armor and weapons, all this gear of his oppression, as metaphor for the tools and practices of a flourishing life. But he says this too:

Ephesians 6:12 (CEB)

12 For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

It would be easy for Paul to look at this soldier and say: here is my enemy. This man who keeps me in chains, who limits my mobility and my choices and my options is my enemy. This man who by his mere presence mocks and threatens my culture and my faith and my personhood is the object of my hatred.

But Paul looks at this soldier and thinks, no, it’s not really about him at all. It’s about the rulers and authorities behind him. He’s just a stand in for the Roman Empire, and all of its propaganda and lies, all of its violence and oppression. And even that empire is a tool of timeless human and maybe even supernatural collective tendency toward the use of power and violence to fuel greed and ambition. The institution, and big, big forces behind the institution is the real enemy.

And this is still true, right?

Think of the political or cultural figure you most resent, you think is doing most harm to our world. I know, it might be hard to think of somebody, but try. I’ve got someone in mind.

Now it’s not really just about them, is it? It’s not that individuals don’t have agency and responsibility. They do. We all do. We are each accountable to one another and to institutions of justice. But even when we don’t seem to be, and get away with all kinds of awfulness, we are accountable – each of us – to a living God, who sees all our thoughts and actions, known and secret.

But anytime an individual is doing something greedy or foolish or just plain evil, they’ve got the weight of their funders or voters or protectors behind them. They’re serving the interests of institutions and larger forces who have their back and enable their harm.

Institutions ruin the world. They foul our streams, and steal our votes, they take our money and burn our trust and shame our children and oppress our marginalized. And we’re right not to trust them.

But it’s not like all institutions are merely agents of evil. After all, Paul himself spent his life starting and encouraging small, emergent communities of faith – house churches that he hoped would help people flourish and pass on renewal and faith to future generations. Paul, the writer of some of the Bible’s letters, was first a builder of and tender to institutions.

And when Jesus looked to the fifty years and more beyond his life, he also didn’t just put his hope in individuals but envisioned some form on institutional life as well.

In a moment of great pride and trust in one of his prize students, Jesus tells Simon Peter that that second name of his – Peter, which means Rock – is his true nature. Because Peter is someone he thinks he can start to build something around. Jesus says to him:

Matthew 16:18 (CEB)

18  I tell you that you are Peter. And I’ll build my church on this rock. The gates of the underworld won’t be able to stand against it.

Now to be clear, I don’t think Jesus necessarily had “church” in mind in the way that we know it today. Jesus was a first century Jew. He didn’t speak English, but Aramaic, and Matthew and the other early memoirists of Jesus’ life translated all his words into the Greek that they wrote in. All to say, Jesus’ times and language and culture were very, very different than ours in a million ways.

And yet, when Jesus envisions a way to transmit his teachings and way of life to the future, he envisions not just an individual but a collective. When Jesus thinks about building out new ways of relating to God and neighbor, new ways of being in the world, he trusts an institution or set of institutions to do that. When Jesus asks, what can overcome the power of evil in world, what can stand up to the gates of hell, he says, Peter – don’t just be you. Be a cornerstone in this institution I’ll build called a church.

Three weekends ago, after the enormous tragedy in the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh, I spent time in a couple of local synagogues in support and solidarity.

And in my neighborhood synagogue of Temple Beth Zion, I had a beautiful morning of worship. TBZ is a special place that blends the traditional and the contemporary, mysticism right alongside activism. So were singing the words of an ancient Hebrew psalm, but we were singing them to Leonard Cohen’s music.

Hallelujah.

And sometimes people sang in the Hebrew we tried to read from pamphlets, but their Rabbi Claudia would raise her voice and say: there’s so much Hebrew, but please sing, and if you’re not comfortable in Hebrew, just sing in the language of your soul.

And we’d sing with syllables, like Yai-dai-dai-dai-dai-dai-dai.

I felt so welcome and included, and I was free to worship in a tradition and place I hadn’t called my own. And I had this shiver in me, as I realized Jesus, you are here.

Now in telling this story, I mean no offense to my Jewish brothers and sisters who might find it obnoxious or worse to think about a Christian finding Jesus in their synagogue of all places. And I would never push this interpretation of my experience onto anyone else, but I am a follower of Jesus and can’t be anything else, and in my Jesus-centered faith and Jesus-soaked view of the world, I don’t have another reference or center for my experience.

So as I felt the presence of God in worship, I felt Jesus show me in my thoughts that Jesus was in this space, and in the quiet of my mind, I asked Jesus: what are you doing here today? What are you up to? And over the next hour or two, all these fascinating and deep and playful things stuck out to me as again and again, I thought: ah, here you are, Jesus.

And one of these places where I saw Jesus was in the way this congregation rallied around the events in Pittsburgh to stay focused on the good they want to be in the world.

Rabbi Claudia told her congregation – you know why we were targeted? We were targeted last weekend because somebody said that we love refugees and that we work to welcome them. And then she said: you know what? We do! And we will!

And she called to the center of worship, next to her and the scrolls of the scripture, all those of us that were doing anything in solidarity with or service of refugees and immigrants and prayed for blessing over us and our work.

Because for Jews to survive, targeted as they’ve been by so many people for so many centuries, they’ve needed institutions. Jews have built schools and sustained synagogues and worked to shape a protective, pluralist public life that would allow their presence and prosperity. And generally, they’ve done this, as Temple Beth Zion was doing this in my presence, out of a commitment to sustaining their life and their future and for expanding blessing in the world.

They’ve caught a vision of their Abrahamic covenant that says: You are to be blessed so that you can be a blessing for the whole world. And so together, as we read and sang in the synagogue, we will build in love what will last for the healing of the world. We will together work with God to transform the world as it is, to the world as it should be.

Greater Than the Sum of Our Parts

For the early followers of Jesus, the best image of this kind of thing, the institutional commitment to the knowing of God, the flourishing of our lives, and the flourishing of the world is an image in the scriptures of the “body of Christ.”

In another letter, Paul writes:

I Corinthians 12:12-27 (CEB)

12 Christ is just like the human body—a body is a unit and has many parts; and all the parts of the body are one body, even though there are many. 13 We were all baptized by one Spirit into one body, whether Jew or Greek, or slave or free, and we all were given one Spirit to drink. 14 Certainly the body isn’t one part but many. 15 If the foot says, “I’m not part of the body because I’m not a hand,” does that mean it’s not part of the body? 16 If the ear says, “I’m not part of the body because I’m not an eye,” does that mean it’s not part of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, what would happen to the hearing? And if the whole body were an ear, what would happen to the sense of smell? 18 But as it is, God has placed each one of the parts in the body just like he wanted. 19 If all were one and the same body part, what would happen to the body? 20 But as it is, there are many parts but one body. 21 So the eye can’t say to the hand, “I don’t need you,” or in turn, the head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” 22 Instead, the parts of the body that people think are the weakest are the most necessary. 23 The parts of the body that we think are less honorable are the ones we honor the most. The private parts of our body that aren’t presentable are the ones that are given the most dignity. 24 The parts of our body that are presentable don’t need this. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the part with less honor 25 so that there won’t be division in the body and so the parts might have mutual concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part gets the glory, all the parts celebrate with it. 27 You are the body of Christ and parts of each other.

So besides being really funny, this is so beautiful. Right? People connected to one another, being totally different. I mean if you ripped an ear out of a head, and jabbed an eyeball out of that same head, and then plucked some strands of hair from the same body. Now this is gross and violent, so do not do this. But if you did, they wouldn’t look like they belonged to the same thing at all. Ears, eyes, hair— they look nothing alike, they have different form and function. And yet together, with all the other parts, fed by the same blood, they pulse with life and do something glorious. So Paul says people bonded together in Jesus, drinking of the same Spirit, are the body of the unseen Christ.

What a vital, organic, and beautiful way of talking about an institution! Paul telling this little church – you have work to do together, and you have everything you need to do it. And not just that, but you belong to Jesus, and you to belong to one another.

Now at some level, this image of the “body of Christ” is not at all about an institution, but mystically about all people that connect to God through Jesus Christ.

But for a couple of millennia now, this phrase “body of Christ” has also been understood as it is for Paul as a metaphorical image for an institution, for a local congregation of Jesus followers, who seek to pass their faith and Jesus-centered way of life down for at least a couple of generations.

Now when church goes badly for people, it doesn’t look like this at all! And I’ve heard and read hundreds of stories of church going badly for people. But what does it look like when it goes well?

Well, for one it tends to be less hierarchical. As I said, most bad things in institutions, and religious ones in particular, have to do with abuse of power. But Paul’s image subverts power. It says the only head of this body is Jesus, no human authority. And the parts that look more important to some people aren’t. So at Reservoir, for instance, neither me nor any other pastor is your mommy or daddy. We don’t tell you what to think or what to do. We don’t make your decisions for you. We’re servants or catalysts, not bosses.

The body of Christ is also a community of mutual honor and interdependence, where people aren’t too private or ashamed to say I need something or to say I’m here for you. It’s a place where each person’s individual nature and contribution matters—people offer who they are and what they have. Whether it’s Yemi last week offering us the beauty and taste of an Ethiopian coffee ceremony. Or it’s a team from Reservoir volunteering at Victory Programs’ Celebration of Life for Boston residents with HIV/AIDs, or whether it’s one of our own members that in her career helps run that whole organization. The body of Christ looks a lot like you, Reservoir Church, at your best – people showing up for one another and the world with honest love and generosity, staying alive for yourself and each other and the world.

Everyone of you is needed here, just as you are, and together we make a whole that is much greater than all of its parts.

This is why I’ve shamelessly invited all of you to membership at Reservoir – to connect in community here, and to give your time here, to give your money here, to not just see yourself as a renter but an owner here, because this community has a whole series of gifts to give you and we can’t be all that Jesus wants us to be for one another and for our city without you.

We also can’t offer anything of faith and flourishing over the next fifty years and beyond if we don’t build a healthy and flourishing institution of faith—one that can give a Jesus-centered, open-minded, wholehearted, fully inclusive, vibrant and healthy community of faith to the next generation and the generation after that.

And this takes money and time and energy and initiative and talent. It takes you. Your wholehearted ownership and participation.  

So please do consider membership at Reservoir – the forms are in the info kiosk in the back, and our pastors are happy to chat with you too.

But it’s not just about us – we need a lot of great institutions. Companies, schools, non-profits, civic institutions to do creative and heroic work in our times.

So ask yourself this question, our

An Invitation to Whole Life Flourishing

What are you giving yourself to that might last and contribute to flourishing for fifty years or more? Where might God be leading you to deeper, more wholehearted commitment to the health and purpose of an institution?

And for this week’s spiritual practice. Would you consider…

Spiritual Practice of the Week

Do at least one of these things this week:

  • suffer with one who suffers – be present in compassion
  • glory with one in glory – celebrate someone else’s good news
  • show someone else that they are needed and show up to community as if you are needed.

Bodies Matter: Witnessing and Believing Trauma

As I watched the sunrise this morning I was reminded of the song that says,

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. God’s mercies never come to an end

They are new every morning, new every morning,

Great is thy faithfulness, oh Lord, Great is that faithfulness

I don’t know about you, but the last few days have been really challenging. The pain and sadness has been palpable – the tears in my eyes, the churning in my stomach the lethargy that has made me more tired that usual. Maybe if I can just go to sleep, I will wake up from this bad déjà vu dream.

I started Thursday morning in a challenge and ultimately futile exchange with an ICE agent that yielded no relief for the person for whom I was advocating. Then I drove back to Boston for a meeting of the Massachusetts Energy Efficiency Advisory Council. It is a statewide body with 15 members only one of whom is a person of color. I knew that was the case, I knew I would be walking into a room full of predominantly wonky folks who have the ability to come to the meetings because their job allows them or requires them to. Before I got there I was well aware that for the last 10 years this group has overseen the MassSave program and even though everybody pays into the fund, every single person who has an electricity bill has a little italicized line at the bottom of their bill that tells them how much they are paying into energy efficiency – even though everyone pays in – moderate income people, renters, people who don’t speak strong English, small mom & pop business – these folks pay in and then don’t get the service.  They have been under-served for 10 years and when I stand up on their behalf I am well aware on the uniqueness of my presence, but even more I am aware of their physical absence from these spaces of power and decision-making. I was not shocked when a group that includes 6 women who attend the meetings regularly and a few men who tend to be less regular attendees ended up being represented in their presentation by the two men. None of this is abnormal in my life. I am a Black woman in the mostly white world of energy policy, I am a person of faith in a space dominated by scientific calculations, I am the embodiment on values and visions that rarely get honored when people are trying to drive for efficiency.

My heightened sense of awareness and sensitivity was no doubt driven by the fact that on the way to the meeting I had been listening to the testimony of Christine Blasey Ford. In 1991 I was a twelve year old Black girl attending an predominantly white all girls private school in Boston. Anita Hill’s testimony and the subsequent attacks she endured left a deep impression on me and many of my peers. Most of my classmates had feelings and opinions as women, but few of them were connected to some of the racial subtexts that caused many black women like me to question some of the way that the real injustices of racism could lead us to protect Black men and even support their patriarchal attitudes in ways which caused deep harm to our own psyches. This week, all the feelings of the Anita Hill testimony, all of the memories of my own experiences with sexual harassment and coercion, all of the love I feel for women and men in my life who have suffered sexual assault, sexual abuse and rape – especially my own mother who is not only a survivor, but a committed advocate and healer – all of these things were walking with me – not in some ethereal realm, but I felt them and relived them in my body.

Then I heard the testimony of Brett Kanavaugh. His indignation reminded me of the sentiment I hear from many white men who are angered by how the world is changing. As women, people of color, LGBTQIA folks, disabled people, low-income folks and other marginalized people are demanding to be seen, heard and included – it shifts that balance of power for those who have had more than their fair share of power. In the past, the thirty one percent of our population that was white males was afforded 100% of the power – if you include class into the equation an even smaller percentage of white men had disproportionate access. As we push for 100% of the people to have access to power, their share is shrinking and for some that feels like an unacceptable loss.

I was particularly struck by his repeated insistence about how much time he spent in church. For some that might substantiate that he was less likely to commit this assault, but for me I paused when I thought about all the ways that our disordered and disembodied faith may not have been any deterrent and even potentially a support of the “bro” culture for a young Brett Kavanaugh. I remember the ways that even when I was young the purity culture was demanded of girls and much more loosely suggested to boys. I remember my grandmother’s constant lectures about not getting pregnant which I don’t remember being equally doled out to my male cousin. I remember lots of conversations about how girls should dress and carry themselves that again I don’t think the boys received in equal measure. I think about my own participation in this culture as I have attempted to protect the girls in my life from harm, have I crossed the line into teaching them to accept an unacceptable system of gender oppression?

In my pain I really didn’t know where to turn and so I did two things. First I spent time with my 4 year old goddaughter Sariah. She is my joie de vivre. The amount of love and energy pent up in her tiny body takes me out of the theoretical plane of existence and right into the here and now. Making sure that she is fed, that she is safe and that her tiny body and really big Spirit are cared for and cultivated helps me to be always thinking about the world I want for her while also being fully present in the moment in a way that I needed on Friday. We went to the ICA to see “We Wanted a Revolution: Black Radical Women 1965-1985.” We bought our tickets (or rather I got my ticket because at the children under 18 are free at the ICA). As we walked into the first room she saw a sculpture and wanted to walk right up to it and touch it. I had to explain to why there was a rope around the sculpture and how we had to respect the work by only looking with our eyes. Thankfully the museum had given me a sketch pad and a pencil so I encouraged her to use it to draw what she saw. She started walking around the sculpture with the sketchpad looking at it and drawing. People walked in and saw her little 4 yr old body studying and sketching with such focus that it made them smile. I smiled too because I was sure that this scene was the manifestation of the dream of so many of the women who were portrayed in that exhibit. For them it had been only a dream that a little Black girl could be there with her Black woman godmother, seeing their art hanging on the walls in one of the city’s most prestigious museums and that little girl could be imitating their art with no concept that there is any reason she could not make art of her own. In that moment it felt like the work of God over decades of struggle to make a world in which our bodies – her body could occupy the space with the confidence in which she sketched and then came to show her work to me and one of the museum employees who was in that room. Being there with her was a reminder that injustice does not have the final say.

The second thing I did to address my pain was to turn to the scripture. I knew I was going to be here today and I had already been prepared with a sermon from 1 Kings when Elijah was clearly depressed and possibly suicidal. I was going to preach on what the Bible teaches us about the link between depression and our care for our bodies. I hope to be able to share that some other time, but in the lead-up to the hearing I began to sense that was not the word for today.

I knew the theme was embodiment and I wasn’t even sure where to start. As I shared earlier, I know that our religious tradition has a challenging history around the body and I have to admit that for me, lots of the issues really begin with the stories of the Bible and how we have chosen to interpret them. Not knowing where to start I decided to start at my go-to scripture to see if it would shed any light on what Jesus thought about embodiment. My go-to scripture is Luke 10:25 when a lawyer asks Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life and Jesus turns the question back on the lawyer who says “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.” For me this is the most important scripture in the text because Jesus says that it all boils down to this. So I usually look at the Luke version but I know a version of this it is written in every one of the gospels because it points back to the Jewish tradition of uniting verses from Deuteronomy and Leviticus to make this one statement that sums it all up.

Having read the Lukan version many times, I decided to turn to the passage in Mark which most scholars believe to be the first gospel on which Matthew and Luke are based (the book of John always does it own thing, so although it has sentiments that connect to this principle, it does not tell the same story.) Anyway – I went to the book of Mark and found the story in Mark 12. As I always do, I read the chapter in its entirety because even though the Bible is full of stories that we tend to break up into sub-chapters with headings, they are arranged in such a way that stories give context to each other and in this case, before making the statement about the most important commandment Jesus has already told three other stories to the crowd of regular people and religio-political figures who are listening to him. So I want to lift up one of the stories from Mark and then one which we are familiar with in Luke.

Mark 12 New International Version (NIV)
Marriage at the Resurrection

18 Then the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. 19 “Teacher,” they said, “Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother.20Now there were seven brothers. The first one married and died without leaving any children. 21 The second one married the widow, but he also died, leaving no child. It was the same with the third.22In fact, none of the seven left any children. Last of all, the woman died too.23 At the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?”

24 Jesus replied, “Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God? 25 When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. 26Now about the dead rising—have you not read in the Book of Moses, in the account of the burning bush, how God said to him, ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’?  27He is not the God of the dead, but of the living. You are badly mistaken!”

 

Context:

  • resurrection or not, tension within Jewish communities.
  • Trick question that tries to make him put the here and now in conflict with the hereafter.
  • Jesus recognizes the trick and makes it about God’s larger plan for justice.
  • The afterlife is no excuse to not follow God in the right now – God calls you to be who we are called to be, to live justice now. So they idea that Jesus may come back soon should not be an excuse to ignore injustice of any kind or to ignore the warming planet that is telling us to change.

Good Samaritan Context:

  • The lawyer is trying to get an out for who he doesn’t need to love
  • Three figures
    • Priest – Has got other things going on
    • Levite – Don’t know how that happened
    • Samaritan – Surprise for the Jewish folks who were listening

Three points:

  1. Physical condition matters – it doesn’t work to claim to care about people’s soul without caring in about their bodies. Forgetting about the body protects the privileged, those of us who already have privilege and protection.
  2. Sometimes God tolerates and even regulates our imperfect systems like the marraige system of the past (and many unjust systems we continue in the present) but God’s ultimate goal is freedom and justice for all of us. The woman is no longer property of any of her husbands but equal to them in God’s kingdom. This Samaritan is not just rescued by restored.
  3. Finally – the story tells us that if we are Christians – if we consider ourselves to be followers of Christ then our work is to bring the Kingdom of God to Earth and to do everything to resist systems that don’t align with God’s plan and to reflect God’s ultimate plan in our lives in our churches and in the world. And we definitely should not be the institution that is actively beating people down as we unfortunately the church has done at many times in our history and in the present.

 

When I got ordained I became clear about how much bodies matter

The next week will continue to be challenging

How we treat each other’s bodies is part of that commandment and it does not matter if you are a teenage boy or grown woman

When you are sitting with a friend who has been raped you are crystal clear that bodies matter. When you feel the suffering of someone in excruciating physical pain you know that bodies matter. When your head begins to throb and your stomach churns as you relive the pain of a past trauma, you know that bodies matter – not in some ethereal plane of existence, but right here and right now, and I am thankful to serve and worship a God who cares about me and my body – a God who is attentive to both the pleasure and the pain that I feel – a God who is not afraid to get up in with me, a God who was willing to come from a place of perfect existence and be subjugated to the all of the beauty and brokenness of life in a body.

The above is a prepared outline of the audio recorded sermon, not an exact transcript.

Be Brave

Imagining Bravery

I have a pretty vivid imagination.

And one thing I’ve thought about now and then, ever since I was little, was how brave I might be in really extraordinary situations.

I’ve thought about how I would handle myself if I were a soldier at war. Would I be able to run into danger, to charge that hill with my comrades, or would my courage fail when it counted most?

When I was younger, I’d imagine sometimes what it would have been like if I’d lived in the nineteenth century and gotten married and had children but lost my wife in childbirth. If I’d suffered that kind of tragedy, what kind of man would I be? Would I be tough and stoic enough, or have enough help to find my way forward, or would I be consumed by my own sadness?

I didn’t grow up in a particularly tough neighborhood, so I didn’t get into many fights as a kid, but I’ve wondered how I’d handle myself if I were jumped. When my kids were young, and I used to run hard at night after they were in bed, I’d sometimes train my mind for this while I was training my body as a runner. What would I do if an attacker jumped me? How would I handle myself? Would I be brave?

I’ll acknowledge what I know you’re thinking right now – this is a little weird. It is. But here’s the weirder thing.

All this imaginary bravery for difficult situations I’ll never see hasn’t necessarily translated into the actual kind of bravery I need for my real, everyday life.

Say, for instance, like in owning a home. I have the extraordinary blessing or fortune or privilege – whatever you want to call it – of owning a home. But I have got to be one of the world’s worst home owners. My wife Grace gardens and beautifies and she fixes things when they break, but when something falls onto my shoulders, it just doesn’t happen. Or it happens years later than it’s supposed to, or just half done.

Some of this is busy-ness, some of it my ADHD, some probably general laziness, but it’s also that fixing and improving things scares me. I usually don’t know how to do it, I think I can’t learn, and I don’t want to ask for help.

See, like you, I expect, I have tasks I don’t want to deal with and people I don’t want to talk to because they stress me out or tap into my insecurities and fears.

Dream as I might about being brave when someone’s life is on the line, sometimes I’m short on the everyday bravery that I need to power a better life.

We’ve been talking the past few weeks about the Jesus model for everyday interactions. Two weeks ago, I talked about being kind as we welcome God’s deep kindness for us. And last week, our pastor Lydia talked about being fully present, with the God who is with us in our past, present, and future.

And today I want to look at bravery, which isn’t really a third quality of interactions, it’s more like the courage to be kind and present at a different level, even when there’s risk involved.

We’ll start by taking a look at Jesus, who strikes me as the bravest person who ever lived.

The Bravery of Jesus

Of course, Jesus was brave in the big, extraordinary ways at his death, but as I read the gospels that tell his life story, I’m equally moved by his day to day bravery throughout his life.

Let’s look briefly at just three of the times when Jesus risked something to be present and kind and truthful to what he knew to be important.

In the first one, Jesus risks his reputation. The scene starts by telling us that Jesus had to go through Samaria. Which isn’t true, really. Jesus didn’t have to do anything, and he didn’t have to travel through this section of Northern Palestine that Jews like him normally avoided. America, and Boston in particular, has our history of beltway highways and segregated housing and all kinds of zoning laws that were designed to keep Whiter and wealthier people away from contact with everyone else. The first century wasn’t as advanced with their fear and separation, but Jesus’ Jewish contemporaries not only avoided Samaritan people, but avoided the neighborhoods where they were likely to run across them.

Maybe this is why Jesus had to go through Samaria. Because avoiding people isn’t his way. Here he is.

John 4:4-9 (NRSV)

4But he had to go through Samaria. 5So he came to a Samaritan city called Sychar, near the plot of ground that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. 6Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired out by his journey, was sitting by the well. It was about noon.

7A Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.”8(His disciples had gone to the city to buy food.) 9The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask a drink of me, a woman of Samaria?” (Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans.)

It’s interesting to me to just read the start of this scene. It’s become a famous Bible encounter by this point, so it’s easy to miss where it starts, which is Jesus put in what most people in his shoes would have found an uncomfortable situation.

Jesus is hot and tired from an hours-long walk, and so when his students head into town to find lunch, he sits to take a rest by himself. When he’s approached by a stranger, a stranger that our text points out, Jesus would have two reasons to have nothing to do with her.

But Jesus pushes past that and starts a conversation – could I have a drink? – a conversation that goes to the most interesting places.

Encounters with strangers can be awkward. We don’t know who they are, and so we don’t know what to say, and at least in this part of the world, it can feel like we’re breaking some kind of weird unspoken contract of mutual public coldness if we engage with a stranger.

You know what, though, I was listening to a report on a study about social connectedness. The premise was that most of us are lonelier than we wish we were, and the researchers wondered what effect it would have for people to experience more social connection throughout the day. So they had a control group that ignored strangers or kept interactions with them as short as possible, as we do, and another group that were asked to start conversations with strangers whenever possible.

And they found – one – that the difficulty wasn’t with other people, it was with the subjects. Most of the strangers were actually happy to talk. But the person in the study had to overcome their own shyness or discomfort to make a comment or ask a question. Starting the conversation was the hard part. Keeping it going was easy. But the second thing they found was that even though this was hard, people really liked doing it afterwards. The experience had a very positive effect.

Maybe Jesus knew this – that he’d be a happier man if he connected with people. Or maybe he didn’t care about social convention and reputation. Or – and I think this is true – maybe Jesus had the same hesitations and shyness and awkwardness that we all do, and maybe when that woman approached, the first thought that went through his head was his dad’s voice from when he was a kid that good Jewish men don’t talk to women alone and maybe the second thought that went through his head was – Oo, she’s a Samaritan – and some kind of awful negative bias about Samaritans flashed across his brain. But then, Jesus thought, I’m not going to live in a world where this disconnects us. I’m going to present and kind. I’m going to talk to this stranger, and see what good comes out of it. Let’s give it a try.

And that’s brave.

If we’ve been reading John, this won’t surprise us, because Jesus has proven himself to be pretty darn brave already.

Two chapters earlier, Jesus is visiting the temple in the city of Jerusalem. It’s holiday time, when Jesus was used to heading to the city to worship. But this year, when he got to the temple, his eyes were clearer, and he didn’t like what he saw.

This happens.

John 2:13-15 (NRSV)

13The Passover of the Jews was near, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 14In the temple he found people selling cattle, sheep, and doves, and the money changers seated at their tables. 15Making a whip of cords, he drove all of them out of the temple, both the sheep and the cattle. He also poured out the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables.

This wasn’t just Jesus risking his reputation, but risking his life.

Now there are a number of theories as to why Jesus does this. Some people think Jesus was upset by the crass commercialism of the scene, that this holy place for worship is starting to feel like a mall. Some people think Jesus is deliberately trying to stir up a conversation about what it means to know God at all, that the sacrificial system of the temple has seen its day, and God wanted a new way, a more internal, spiritual mode of connecting with God going forward. Other accounts of this scene imply that Jesus was troubled by the injustice of the temple, that the outer court, which was the only place Gentiles – non-Jews, and in some cases women, even Jewish women, could worship – that this outer court was so filled with the commercial transactions of the merchandise for worship, that everyone other than Jewish men were being denied their opportunity to encounter God.

But I’ll tell you what, regardless of why Jesus did what he did, most recently, I’ve been struck by how he did it.

I read this passage recently using a method called lectio divina. Lectio divina just means divine reading, or spiritual reading. It’s a mode of reading the Bible people have been using for over a thousand years, where you read a short passage, slowly, often more than once, and notice how it speaks to you. Chew it over for a while and observe your response. See where that takes you. Be open to the possibility that this is the Spirit of God speaking to you through what you read.

So I was doing that practice with this text and what struck me was the single phrase: making a whip of cords.

I pictured Jesus sitting in the corner with his craft project, and I was like how would one do that? I just told you at the top, I can’t make or build anything, so I was kind of mystified, like this is some kind of McGyver moment with Jesus, where he’s making a whip out of found materials. But I give that to Jesus, because he was trained as a carpenter, a furniture-maker, he knows how to make things. But the thing I thought was that this must take a while, to make a whip. It’s not a thing you do in a minute or two’s fit of rage. This takes steady consideration, to sit down for minutes, maybe hours, to build that whip before you used it.

And I thought, this is brave. Because to explode in anger at something that ticks you off – that’s not brave, that’s just impulsive, or rude or violent. But to watch carefully, slowly, and to observe an injustice, and to say to yourself, I need to disrupt this activity, and to take your time to figure out how to do that, and to devise the plan, and then to act boldly – at risk to your own life. Jesus could have been arrested and killed, and doing this is part of why he eventually was. Well, this is exceedingly brave.

One more scene, though, because I want us to see that Jesus wasn’t just brave with strangers and public injustice. Jesus was brave with the people closest to him as well. Jesus was brave when he needed to be with his friends too.

Last scene for the day:

Matthew 16:21-26 (NRSV)

21From that time on, Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and undergo great suffering at the hands of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised. 22And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, “God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you.” 23But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; for you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.”

24Then Jesus told his disciples, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it. 26For what will it profit them if they gain the whole world but forfeit their life? Or what will they give in return for their life?

Whoa, Jesus! This gets intense kind of quickly, doesn’t it? I mean listen to Peter: God forbid, Jesus. This must never happen to you.

That sounds awful, Jesus. No, no, no, that’s not going to happen. It’s alright.

This is how friends talk. This is what friends do. They cheer us up when we say gloomy things. They put a more positive spin on it.

But when Peter does this, Jesus turns and calls his friend Satan, and goes into this whole intense moment about the bravery it takes for anyone to follow Jesus.

I’ve got to move toward wrapping up, so we can’t look at every angle on this important moment, but for now, I just want to notice that real friends, Jesus-style, don’t just smooth things over. They don’t just go for easy.

They speak their truth. They stay authentic, even when that risks conflict, even when that risks the relationship itself.

For Jesus, this wasn’t a small thing. This was the center of his life mission and destiny that he was talking about. And Peter’s like, come on Jesus, that’s not you. And Jesus actually finds this tempting. That’s what Satan means – the accuser, or the tempter. That’s what a stumbling block means – an innocent looking thing that can trip you up and cause you great harm. Jesus would probably love the easy life.

That’s the great insight of that novel by Nikos Kazantnakis, The Last Temptation of Christ, that Martin Scorcese turned into a film. The idea was that Jesus may have been tempted again and again to be a wise person who lived the easy life. So when that harm to him and his cause comes from a friend, Jesus knows that to really be kind and present, in a way that’s authentic to his truth, is not to brush it over. It’s to speak his truth, even though it stirs the pot. Even though it risks the friendship.

So speak his truth he does.

I saw a friend of mine doing this recently and it moved me.

Given the circumstances of my life, I’ve known a lot of teenagers over the year, and now and then those people return in some form when they’re all grown up, and you get to talk.

And a while back, one of these all grown up teens and I met up for coffee – which by itself, by the way, is an awesome thing, to meet up for coffee with someone you knew when they were 12 or 13. This is a good reason to put yourself in a position to know kids and then to stick around so you can know them when they grow up. Side note: that’s just really rewarding.

But then in this case, this person wanted to show me a letter they had written before they sent it. Because they were wondering if it was a good idea.

And as we talked about the letter, I learned that a coach in this person’s life had really done them harm. It wasn’t the coach was overtly abusive or did anything they’d lose their job over. It’s just that the whole premise of the relationship and been patronizing and demeaning. It had driven this person off the team that had been important to them. It had lodged some hurt inside of them too.

And they had been wondering what to do about that now that they were out of the situation.

And I’m thinking to myself, well, you’re out of the situation. That’s a win. You get to move on and never talk to this person again. Never have anything to do with them. Which is great, right?

This is my preferred strategy for people I find difficult. To minimize my contact with them, and to doubt that they could ever really change, because people tend to be stuck in their ways.

But while I’m thinking this, my friend is saying, the thing is there are more people who are going to have my experience after me, and I feel like I have to say something, for my own sake but also because maybe my coach will listen. Maybe they can change their mind a little.

And I thought to myself, wow – you are a better person than me. Because to speak the hard truth that might really benefit someone else isn’t easy.

And then I read the letter – how clear it was, but also how humble and how gracious – what a perfect example of what the Bible calls “speaking the truth in love” and I thought, wow, now you’re really a better person than me.

Because to do this is really brave, right? To not just move on from the people and situations that trouble us, but to do our best, with great love, to interrupt what’s wrong. To interject some truth spoken with great love, and see if a different story might play out. Doing this takes time and creative energy, and it risks disappointment and hurt.

But it’s also the stuff that changes lives, that changes history.

This is pretty much every famous, courageous person we admire – in our own times or in the past – saying how do I not just accept reality the way it is, but interrupt it, with truth and love?

You’ll notice I pointed out too that my friend was really humble and gracious with their words.

Because we’re in a church here. And when bravery is talked about in religious contexts, it’s usually about winning or self-justification. It’s about doing the bold, offensive thing for our faith, for our side, to show the ignorant world how wrong it is. It’s about battles for truth or territory. This is the role religion has played in wars and terrorism, it’s the role religion has played in the culture wars of our time too. And that may be its own form of bravery, but it’s not bravery Jesus-style. It is not the Jesus model of everyday interactions.

Jesus’ bravery isn’t offensive battle-making, even that whip-making temple moment, where he didn’t hurt a single person, or say anything personally demeaning or attacking at all.

No, Jesus-style bravery is presence and kindness magnified, even when it takes boldness and risk. It’s speaking our truth, but with great, great love – not just what we would call love, but what the other would actually experience as love.

It’s the courage to have conversations we’ve been avoiding, to do the hard things we and our world would be better off if we did.

This isn’t just for Jesus or for heroes of for remarkable grown-up teenagers either. It’s in reach for all of us. Let me end with two ways how.

Try This

  • The first thing I’d like to invite you to try is that mode of Bible reading I talked about: Practice Lection Divina in the Four Gospels.

Lectio divina again is that slow, meditative reading of the Bible where you pay attention to what’s sticking out and speaking to you. The New Testament of the Bible begins with four versions of Jesus’ life story, named for the purported authors: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Just pick one and start reading bits each day, and see how brave Jesus is. See how brave Jesus speaks to you. Notice how Jesus challenges, or inspires, or encourages, or provokes you.

In this five-week series, our pastor Ivy is making these little business cards you can carry around, with take-aways from the talks – one on connecting with Jesus yourself, and the other on practicing Jesus-style interaction with other people. They’re awesome, and this week’s has the Lectio Divina instructions on the first side. They’ll be in the dome art gallery on your way out.

  • And the second thing is simpler: Do one more hard thing.

Sometimes the hard work we need to do is what Lydia talked about so well last week, what I’ve been doing this year – facing the hard parts of our past.

Sometimes the hard thing we need to do is taking care of ourselves, asking for help, opening up and asking for the things we need to keep living, and keep growing hope.

Sometimes it’s a task we’re putting off because we’re scared or think we can’t do it, or are worried we’re going to fail.

And sometimes the hard thing is a conversation – starting to notice and be kind to strangers, interrupting a pattern of injustice that’s going on in our families or workplaces. Sometimes it’s even speaking our truth to a friend who needs to hear it, even if that risks the relationship.

That good thing you’ve been wanting to do, that hard conversation you’ve been meaning to have. Ask yourself what that is, and a take a step toward doing it today.

I gave you a four-step process that you’ll notice on the card. First, think of that good but hard thing or conversation you’ve been putting off. Then, ask Jesus to be with you. Then do the hard thing, with as much presence and kindness, and as much truth and love as you can.

And then finally, notice how you feel afterwards. What did you learn?

See, bravery isn’t a special gift that only some people have. Bravery is more like a muscle we exercise, where the more we use it, the easier it gets, or the more prepared we are to use it in hard situations.

Bryan Stevenson, the lawyer behind the Equal Justice Initiative, whose work and writing and talks have inspired so many of us, tells a story of getting to meet Rosa Parks before her death, earlier in his career, and telling her about all the work he planned to do. Legal aid for people on death row, who were unjustly convicted of crimes, or who committed their crimes but when they were profoundly mentally ill or just kids. Ending racial injustice in our country’s legal system. Helping our country come to grips with our overall legacy of racism and racial terror and violence. All of which he’s working on still, by the way.

And he told these things to Ms. Parks, and she said to him: All of this good work is going to make you tired, tired, tired. So you know what. You’re going to need to be brave, brave, brave.

Oh, so true. Sometimes we need a rest. Rest, self-care, is important to the good life. But sometimes we also need to learn to be brave. And Jesus can grow this in us.

How Can I Find Good News Outside of Patriarchy?

Recently, a person I know – she happens to be a woman of color – had a really big day coming up in her professional life. And before that day, I saw that she posted the meme on Facebook, that said – “Lord, give me the confidence of a mediocre white man.”

I laughed, of course. I thought that was great. And then after I laughed, I thought you know, being a mediocre white man has sure had its benefits.

I think as a father, for instance. I remember when my three kids were young and I took them places, people would look at me in admiration.

We’d be in the grocery store, in one of those massive carts with the plastic fake fire truck or police car attached to it, and my two little guys would be squeezed into those plastic seats on the car. My daughter, maybe five or six years old would be walking by my side. And I’m just trying to steer this beast and not ram into the canned foods, and maybe if I’m lucky not lose my girl and even remember to buy the food we need, and people are just staring.

They’re politely stepping to the side so they don’t get run down, and they’re making way for me in the checkout line. And if we talk, they hear that today wasn’t some kind of desperate abnormality, but they hear that I take my kids places, we do things, me and the three of them.

And whether we’re talking about shopping, or going to the park, or going camping for a day or two, people would say, wow, you do that with all three kids. And they’d do everything but clap their hands, salute me, and give me a prize for being such a great dad.

And I’d go home and tell Grace, my wife about this, and say, “Isn’t it so awesome that when you take our three kids out in public, people just praise you, they make a way for you, tell you what a great parent you are.”

And I’m telling her this story, and she’s not going there with me. I could see it in her face — the cold stare, maybe an eyeroll sometimes — that somehow this was not her experience. And she’d say, when I’m with the three kids at the store, people just judge me if I’m in their way or one of the kids isn’t behaving perfectly. They judge me silently, or sometimes not silently at all. Like, lady, come on, get your kids in your order.

And I would think, wow, that’s a different experience — the expectations for me are so much lower. Being a mediocre man has its advantages.

Now imagine you’re not just a mediocre white man, but you’ve got some wealth or skills. Then the world is yours.

I’ve been kidding, but we all know that some of these inequities around both race and gender don’t just play out in what our culture expects in the grocery store from moms vs. dads.

44 of our 45 presidents have been White men; all of them have been men. Over 80% of the US congress today is male. Moving from government to business, though, the number of CEOs of Fortune 500 companies who are women is at an all-time high today, of 32. That’s 32 out of 500 CEOs who are women, just over 6% – and that’s a record high.

In that same group of senior business executives, about 4% are people of color, if you do the intersection there, there’s only handful of these that are women of color.

Men get paid more than women for doing the same work, in marriages where both men and women work full-time, women still spend much more time on childcare and household chores. When it comes to wealth accumulation, we don’t even want to talk how far ahead on net worth white men are over everybody else. It goes back generations, from the privilege of favorable government policies (or unfavorable, if you’re not a white man), unequal work and educational opportunities, and patterns of inherited wealth.

It seems though, that over the past century, we’re experiencing a shift — a really  important shift from people — again, especially people that look like me – going from acting like this is the normal and natural order of things, and saying, Wait, this is in fact a problem.

More and more of us are talking about white supremacy — the personal and systemic preference for whiteness in our culture that leads white people to having too large a share of things like power and wealth and esteem, and too small a share of things like prison time.

And alongside this, more of us are also talking about patriarchy – the preference for maleness that keeps power and control and wealth disproportionately in men’s hands. More and more of us are acknowledging that all of these are not just the way of the world; they are old and powerful ways in which we in fact destroy our world.

In our times, we’re moving in fits and starts. Progress isn’t linear and upward, but there seems to be this move to dismantle patriarchy — to take it apart and find a different way — to change white supremacy. Certainly many of us want this to be true, sense it needs to be true. We want a world where your wealth and power and dignity and opportunities aren’t at least in part pre-determined by your sex or race.

And so I ask today: Can faith help us in this, or is faith part of the problem?And for those of us that want to follow Jesus in particular, is the life and teaching and tradition around Jesus a help or a hindrance in the shaping of a more just and humane and fair society? And in particular, a less patriarchal one.

This past month, we’ve been talking human brokenness and sin and God’s redemption. And we’ve touched on some big societal issues, like environmental degradation, but for the most part, things have been more personal so far. We’ve talked about pride, or self-negation, at being out of touch with our true selves, or stuck in patterns of anxious control.

But this week and next, we’re going public with this series — looking at a couple of the big societal issues that spring out of individual and systemic brokenness. We’re asking how can God help, if at all, and what does redemption look like?

And today, I want to talk about why it’s really good news for all of us, women and men, that we’re dismantling patriarchy. But first, I want to be candid that religion, and Christian religion in particular, has undeniably supported and advocated for both racism and patriarchy.

The history of churches is in many ways a history of male religious leadership, and of violent male religious leadership. And in this country in particular, churches have been deeply segregated places. White church leaders in this nation’s history — again, almost exclusively male white church leaders — have been some of the primary opposition to both emancipation (in the 1800s) and the civil rights movement (in the 1900s) and efforts for greater racial equity in our own times.

The Bible too has been used to support both racism and patriarchy, and the book we’re focused on this month, the first book of Genesis has in particular been read as supportive of patriarchy and racism. I’ve been talking about both of these phenomena so far because of their intersectionality in the ways people groups get privileged and diminished. But I’m going to less on race and more on patriarchy to give it a focus: more on this  preference for maleness, and the idea that power should sit with men, and be passed down to other men.

On the surface, the Bible is super-patriarchal. Some 90 percent of the people named in the Bible are men. Male pronouns are used for God. There are these genealogies here and there, which for the most part tell us a story of God’s blessing passing from man to man to man, in each generation. Jesus’ inner circle of students is a group of 12 men. And on it goes.

It’s no shock that so many Bible readers have encouraged religious systems and spirituality that have privileged men. So many forms of Christianity have only let men teach, have only let men lead, have favored sons over daughters, and have diminished and marginalized women in overt and obvious ways, and in more subtle ways as well.

Now I think this is bad news for women and for men. Years ago, when my 15-year-old daughter was just a toddler, she said a prayer or something and I said, Julianna, I’m going to call you Pastor Julianna. And my daughter – maybe 2-years old – looked at me and said, Daddy, only men can be pastors. And I thought what? Where did my barely 2-year-old kid get this idea? This is not what we’ve been teaching her, but other things in her environment have already given her this message that at least in church (and who knows where else), men will be in charge.

And we felt like this would be bad news for our daughter and eventually if we had them, that this would be bad news for our sons as well. This idea that their giftedness, their suitability for leadership and service, their right to a voice, was primarily determined by their sex and gender. That’s part of the story for why we ended up joining this church — there were many reasons, but it was in part because both men and women were empowered as leaders here. And that was really important to be a good news environment to raise our kids in.

The backdrop of the Bible, and of this book of Genesis we’re reading this month, is patriarchal. But if you look at the arc of the whole thing, there’s just a huge sub-current that says, enough — this is not the way it’s supposed to be. In fact, I’d argue that the story of the scriptures is a progression toward the end of patriarchy, just as it pushes toward the end of racism as well.

Genesis begins with a creation poem that elevates the status of humans like no other near-eastern literature, and puts men and women on a radically even playing field as well. In the poem’s climax, we get these lines:

So God created humankind in his image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.

Genesis 1:27 (NRSV)

People, we’re told, reflect God to one another and the rest of the earth — both male and female people. In the next chapter, we get a little more detail on the differentiation of people into men and women, and the woman is called a “suitable helper” for the man. Which sounds pretty patriarchal in English — as if women should put on aprons and help the men out with whatever we tells them to do. But that is a shockingly bad translation of this text, because the word “helper” here is applied throughout the rest of the Scriptures to God and to male warriors. It’s the help, not of a junior assistant, but of a strong, matching warrior.

So when the woman is called the helper, the “ezer” in Hebrew, it’s more like a
solo wrestler becomes a tag-team duo — the woman and the man are suitable
warriors to stand together in whatever work God gives them. Men are told that when they marry women, they’re to get out of their parents’ house, and cling to their wives — forge a new loyalty to them, in a new household. These little details in this archetypical story in Genesis 2 are a big revolutionary rewrite of traditional patriarchy.

Instead of women, entering their husbands’ parents households to live as second class servants, as they have in so many cultures around the world, for millennia, Genesis invites men and women to forge a new household, loyal to one another, as strong equal partners.

And then, in the Genesis story, these men and women start having babies, and
one more aspect of the patriarchal system is upended. See, patriarchy doesn’t
just favor men over women, passing down power and position and wealth from man to man and keeping woman in last place. Patriarchy also favors oldest sons. It elevates the rank and wealth of the first-born male, and lowers the status and wealth of all the others.

A friend of ours grew up in a house like this — seven kids, and the parents gave all kind of favoritism to the older kids. They had this saying, “Rank has its privileges” that the parents would use with the children, and the older kids, were taught to use that line with the younger ones.

Maybe not shockingly, but decades later, the older kids from that family are living pretty stable, positive lives — the youngest kids, not so much. This preferential treatment for the oldest male was a way to pass on power and blessing and wealth, but it divided siblings. It led to jealousy and, quite often,
violence, and diminished the majority of kids in the family.

Parents these days know better – or we should – than to ever favor one of our kids. Now Genesis isn’t radical enough yet to put daughters on equal footing as sons, or to say all kids should be treated equally by their parents. Parents in Genesis are awful — they are always playing favorites.

But, again and again in the narrative, favoritism is tipped on its head. In Genesis, favoritism is consistently shown to the younger. Abel over Cain, Jacob over Esau, Joseph over all his brothers, again and again, the oldest male son is not chosen, is not first. It’s a kind of quirky slap in the face of the conventions of patriarchy. What is going on here?

I think this: I think God looks at some of the core tendencies of the human heart and says, you’re better than that. I think God looks at some of human civilization’s most persistent systemic evils, and says, this is not the way it’s supposed to be.

Patriarchy, for instance, is a powerful and practically universal feature of the human past, but if God has God’s way, it will not be the governing feature of our collective future. Because God is not into favoring one tribe or sex or race or class or birth order over another.

God is actually a leveler. The voice of God, again and again, embedded
in Genesis, and echoing throughout the scriptures, is that God will redeem
humanity and restore to each us of our proper worth and dignity — not too high and also not too low.

We get it put poetically in the prophet Isaiah, in lines that are picked up again in the Jesus story:

A voice cries out:
“In the wilderness prepare the way of the LORD,
make straight in the desert a highway for our God.
God’s coming, here’s how you get ready:
Every valley shall be lifted up,
and every mountain and hill be made low;
the uneven ground shall become level,
and the rough places a plain.
Then the glory of the LORD shall be revealed,
and all people shall see it together,
for the mouth of the LORD has spoken.”

Isaiah 40:3-5 (NRSV)

What God has for us is so good that God wants everyone to have it. But it takes some reshaping of our social terrain. The folks who’ve been standing up in the front row, blocking the view again and again, have to sit down, or move to the back for a while. People that have been hidden in the corners or pushed down to the ground are going to be lifted up and out and brought to the center.

So think about it — this means that any human system that elevates one class of us above another is an act of resistance to God’s vision that people would enjoy God and flourish together.

Whether it be our patriarchal past that empowers men over women or our white supremacy that privileges the descendants of colonial Europe over all other races and cultures of the earth, or whether it be too strong national pride, or the fiscal or cultural diminishment of the less educated, God will upend the destructive, ranking systems of our world that are born in disordered thinking in our human minds. Disordered thinking that says only this kind of person or that kind of person best reflects God.

Jesus affirms this move of God more than once, when he ends a teaching or a
story, with this shocking line:

16  So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

Matthew 20:16 (NRSV)

This isn’t an invitation to us to just go be last again if we’re so insecure or rejected that we’re last as a matter of habit. No, it’s Jesus reiterating part of his good news, that the people that again and again we have made last will be elevated by God. Should be elevated by us.

Because this is how it will be in our future. No more putting women in their place, by a diminished view of their leadership or by any form of male violence or dominance. Women shall be first.

No more mocking or stigmatizing or outcasting the one who’s different. No, the physically impaired, the learning disabled, the short, the fat, the insecure, the sexually different, the stranger the immigrant – all will be first. Because God wants all flesh — all people — to know our identity as image-bearers, beloved children of God together.

Jesus’ most famous representative to the first century Roman empire agrees –
this is the direction of history! This writer, Paul, says:

26  for in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith.
27  As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.
28  There is no longer Jew or Greek,
there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.
29  And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to the promise.

Galatians 3:26-29 (NRSV)

All of us together. It keeps moving. And there’s this subtle no-more-patriarchy bit buried here too. Because it says everyone who belongs to Christ — all people who follow Jesus to God — are the offspring, literally the text says the “seed of Abraham”, and the ones who will inherit everything that God has to give, along with Abraham, this founding father.

This whole seed thing is a really old and absolutely patriarchal image. The idea is that men are the source of human life, that’s held in the seed of men. And that seed is simply implanted into the mother — the empty vessel — who doesn’t supply anything of worth to the child.

This is a jacked up, ancient, non-scientific worldview for how life happens, and we know that’s not how things work. But the heritage of that view has carried with us, in many places and cultures. That patriarchal view told people that children belong to men, because they are the seed of men. It said that boys are better than girls, because boys carry on the family name, whereas girls, they’re like an evolutionary dead end. It said lands and property — inheritance — should be passed on to sons, never daughters. It said to that the virginity of women was critical but men, eh, not so important. This notion of the seed said that men are closer to God, men are spiritual, whereas women are this profoundly different kind of human being —  less creative, less powerful, more empty.

And Paul says, this is actually a piece of what Jesus is upending in the world. Jesus is restoring the dignity of all humans as children of God, worthy of all of God’s inheritance. Culture, race, class, and sex aside — the full image and full worth are for all of us.

So we can be encouraged by this: God is for the full restoration, the full recovery of the image of God, in every person. And God is for each human system treating each person as God’s full image bearer as well. This is good news in all kinds of ways: good news for those of who have been learning disabled, good news for those of us who have experienced racism, good news for all of us who have been put in our place. But I want to talk briefly about how I think this is profoundly good news for both women and for men as well.

This is of course good news for women. There’s a social psychologist and theologian named Christena Cleveland that teaches at Duke Divinity School. Dr. Cleveland has a couple of friends at Reservoir, and she spoke from this stage at a conference that was held here last year, and she’s brilliant and provocative, so a number of us follow her work.

And she was sharing a little over a year ago on a podcast that when she teaches, she has students who when the disagree with her politically or theologically, or just for whatever reason don’t respect her, they try to cut her down through their aggressive questions.

Dr. Cleveland teaches in the South, she’s a woman, she’s Black, she’s young for a tenured professor perhaps. These students who are hostile — she says 99 times out of 100, the are  young white men.

And she shared that when she gets this line of aggressive, hostile questioning from one of her students, she prays briefly, silently, before she answers, “May the image of God in me, greet the image of God in you.”

That prayer is obviously Christina being a beautiful and holy person — her way of asking God’s help to not return evil for evil, to be a daughter of God and a follower of Jesus in treating others with worth and dignity, even when they’ve treated her as an enemy. But it’s also a prayer that she wouldn’t accept — or have rub off on her — the terms of their diminishment, that in her teaching, in her leadership, in her voice, she would never be any less
than the image of God in her.

God’s blessing of our dismantling of patriarchy means that no woman has to silently accept the belittling of the violence or the diminishment of any man or any system. Times up on that. God’s first shall be last and last shall be first kingdom means it’s time for our systems to figure this out too, for our businesses and governments and public and private institutions to see a lot morewomen senior leadership for a change.

It means that in churches, in marriages, in dating, in classrooms, in
laboratories, boardrooms, males don’t come first. All humans – regardless of sex or gender – belong on equal terms, to serve and lead with their full range of gifts, or sometimes to not serve or lead when we do not have that full range of gifts.

Before I wrap up, I want to point out that this is really good news for men too. The writer Carolyn Custis James has a great book out recently I’m reading about the impact on men that our world’s view of manhood has had. She traces patriarchy and universal patterns of male violence and  male competition and emotionally shut down fathers and narrow views of what is means to be male. She traces on how that impacts boys, and she shows how all this limited view of manhood — what she calls the malestrom — has just wrecked men, and has been part of why so many men have wrecked women too.

When I was coming of age, I realized that I was better at music then sports. I liked football, but if I was really truthful I would tell you I liked literature more. I’m better at cooking at taking care of kids than I am at fixing anything. And none of this matched the view of manhood my culture gave me. And that’s been awkward for me and my family now and then.

But what’s been “awkward” for me has just been shattering for other friends of mine. I think of a friend of mine who in his culture was considered really
effeminate as a kid. And on top of that, he was a mama’s boy — he was really tight with his mom. And his dad shamed him, privately and publicly, and beat him and emotionally abandoned him and kicked him out of the house eventually. And the misery and addictions and trauma that were born of this nearly killed him more than once.

For us to know that being male isn’t about fulfilling a gender stereotype and it’s not about a race to the top competition or dominance or power or violence—  that’s really freeing good news for every man alive as well.

We too can live and love and flourish and be our best selves, whether than means being a leader or a follower, being highly ranked and esteemed or not, being just like our dad or mom or grandpa or grandma, or not at all. And we can love and cherish the women in our lives, rather than leading or controlling them. Which again, is all good news for all men and all women.

Next week we’re going to pick up a very particular extension in many ways of
today’s talk when we talk about how sexual violence has no place in our future.

But for today, let me end with some thoughts on being people who know we bear the full image of God, being people who greet the full image of God, and being people who also greet the full image of God in every person we meet — no more, no less, and being people who insist that the systems we’re in do that as well.

Program Notes

(“How Can I Find Good News Outside of Patriarchy?”)

1) Pray that the image of God in you would meet the image of God in others.
2) Don’t diminish “male” and “female” to narrow stereotypes.
3) Disrupt systems and habits of male privilege with the strength and
blessing of God.
4) When you’ve been first a lot, practice going last — empower someone else
this day, this week, this year.

The above is not an exact transcript of the audio recording.