Speaker: Lydia Shiu

Incarnation: God Embodied

So I’m 33 weeks pregnant now, and this pregnancy thing is very weird. I’ve got a human body living inside of my body. And by now, I can feel and see her move and it’s sweet and all, but it’s also kind of creepy. Like the movie Alien, from way back in the day. They had this one monster that has a mouth come out of a mouth, and I remember as a kid I used to stick my hand under my shirt and imitate the movie and creep people out. And pregnancy is kind of like that! Just kidding — it’s much sweeter obviously. But she’s in there and she lets me know.

Like the other day: I made myself a bowl of oatmeal, sat down on my couch, and was eating like this, and all of sudden, she gave this huge kick to the bowl! I picked up the bowl with my hand and realized it was really hot. She was like, “OW Umma! That’s hot!” I felt so bad.

Her existence, her presence within me, I’ll be honest, sometimes I forget, I try to squeeze through between a table and chair like a used to, and hit my tummy, but she lets me know. Punching me, kicking me, nudging, I’m here Umma! Even hiccuping, and I can feel her rhythmic hiccuping in my belly. She is there.

We’re talking about Embodied Faith as our sermon series this fall. And rooted in this concept of Embodied Faith is the central theological notion of the Incarnation.

The Christian faith believes that God became incarnate: God came to earth, in flesh and blood in the form of a human being — namely, as Jesus.

John 1:14 says:

“The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

God decided to show up in a body! To say, hey! I’m here! This is me! See? The visible reality of an invisible God.

Incarnation of Jesus: God Embodied

Starting out much like my soon-to-be-born daughter — kicking in Mary’s womb, then out into this world as a boy, as a man, as a human being. The fact that God decided to reveal Godself in and through the human form of Jesus, what does that mean for us? What implications does that have? What does that say about who God is? And how does that impact what we think about God? How does it matter to us?

It matters and it matters greatly, because, it means, matter matters. God doesn’t just exist as a far and distant being, watching little earthlings play house. God decided to enter into it, become a part of it. Because earth matters to God. Human beings matter to God.

I think the fact that God became human is such a big deal. And we don’t talk about it enough in churches sometimes because we’re busy elevating Jesus as a divine, and he is, the creeds say, fully divine, but it also says fully human and fully divine. But I feel like we’re afraid of talking about Jesus’ humanity. Christians are so busy solidifying what theologians and scholars call a “high Christology”, that sometimes we’ve made Jesus unrelatable, God untouchable, and therefore us removed and untouched by the holy divine. Actually, the stories of Jesus straight from the gospels describe a Jesus that’s much more human, a special human for sure, but a human. So let me start us off by talking about the humanity of Jesus, focusing on his biblical title: Son of Man. And then we’ll touch on what implications that has for matter and spirit, and what that means for each of us.

The Humanity of Jesus: Son of Man

One of the main ways we know who Jesus is and all that he represented is through the Gospels — the stories and eyewitness events of interactions with Jesus on earth. And in the Gospels, there are many cues to who Jesus really is. Jesus would ask, “who do you say I am?” There are confessions of disciples, proclaiming who he is. And Pilate asked Jesus on a trial, “Are you the king of Jews?” So who is Jesus, according to the gospels?

I want to bring to our attention to this title that Jesus used over and over again to describe himself: “Son of Man”. Son of Man is the primary title Jesus used for himself. It appears some 80 times in the Gospels. It is used from the mouth of Jesus more than any other titles like “Son of God” or “Messiah” or “The Lord”, which others used to describe him. But to Jesus, Son of Man was important to him. So what does it mean?

 

It’s interesting how tradition changes meanings of words over time, and carry one meaning for one generation and a whole new meaning for another. Like our own slangs or new trending terms. Like POC: person of color is an acceptable and even preferable term nowadays, whereas back in the day a “colored person” was considered a 2nd class citizen — now a reclaimed word. And when we read the Bible, we have to be aware that this actually happens a LOT because language changes over time. I know I talk about this, probably every time I preach, but words are important! And oftentimes, it does not mean what we think it means.

It’s uncertain what “Son of Man” meant in Jesus’ time. It’s been used here and there in the Old Testament but not with clarity. The important thing is how it was used by Jesus.

In Mark 14, a high priest asks him, “Are you the Christ, the Son of the Blessed One?”

Jesus replies, “I am, and you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven.” which was a throwback to an Old Testament text,

Daniel 7:13 that says, “As I watched in the night visions, I saw one like a son of man coming with the clouds of heaven.”

The Aramaic phrase used here, bar enash, simply means “human being”. But one important change Jesus does with it was that he added a definite article, The Son of Man. He was saying, the most human one, the ultimate human being! It’s almost as though he coined the term right then and there, like a superhero, coming to terms with their own power, decides, yes, I shall call myself, spidy? No. The human Spider? No no, I’ve got it. The Spider Man!

The Son of Man. The Human One. Jesus was showing us what it meant to be the most human!

A New Testament scholar Daniel Kirk grounds his emphasis on the humanity of Jesus with this, in his book titled, A Man Attested by God: the Human Jesus of the Synoptic Gospels. He says that the self-identified title, “Son of Man” is a cue to us the readers, that Jesus should be first and foremost seen and recognized as an idealized human figure, as exhibited by the gospel accounts. He claims that this is the better way of reading the gospels, not with the modern day assumptions of Jesus as the 2nd person in the trinity, shaped by later interpretations, but to simply take as it presents, Jesus as a human being, one who has obviously been anointed with special powers of miracles and healings, but nevertheless a human. He’s not arguing the divinity of Christ, as many jump to when discussing humanity of Jesus, rather he only suggests to take it as it is first, and the following implications of who is Jesus really, actually, has even a wider deeper meaning when we highlight the full humanity of Jesus.

The genius of Jesus wasn’t that he was so holy, but actually that he was too down to earth, too nitty gritty, all together too human. That was the confusion and the frustration of those who criticized him. They didn’t recognize such a human divine .”Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know?” (John 6:42)  They couldn’t accept such messy savior, that looked too much like us. “He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.” (John 1:11)

But the fact that God became human, God incarnated, God was embodied, meant that now it changed everything about what it is to be human. It meant that now, human and divine were one. United.

Unity of the Matter and Spirit: The Ascending AND Descending

Spirituality, religion, and philosophy all have usually two strands of thinking: “ascending” or “descending”. This is taken from one of my favorite thinkers, Richard Rohr, a Franciscan priest. He talks about how most of our occupation in religion is caught up either in ascending — grasping at the holy lofty things, or descending — focusing on the earthly things, the moment is all that matters. Rarely does it do both. The Buddhist tradition detaches oneself to all earthly attachments and joys, in order to be completely emptied, thereby reaching Nirvana. Even in the Christian tradition, people often get preoccupied with the afterlife only, salvation meaning “a ticket to heaven after death”. But Jesus, Jesus did both, in being completely locked in with his Father God, and anchored and diving in into the world. Richard Rohr says that, “Incarnation refers to the synthesis of matter and spirit.”

The distinction we like to make, the sacred and the secular, Jesus smashed it into one in himself. We keep trying to go up, ascend, and then realize, that God is down here, right here! That’s the meaning of incarnation. Another quote by Rohr, he says:

“The Gospel communicated a most surprising and totally counterintuitive, message: We should and we can trust the pattern of the divine self-emptying into matter. Further, if we would but “imitate God” (Ephesians 5:1) in this regard and say a loving and allowing yes to our embodied selves and this material world, in all its beautiful diversity, we would not need to flee it to find God elsewhere.”

Because when we realize this, we see that God is right here.

In John 1:49-51, “Nathanael confessed, ‘Rabbi, You are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!’… And Jesus said to him, ‘Most assuredly, I say to you, hereafter you shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of man.'” (John 1:49-51)

Again, Jesus materfully is doing a throwback to the Hebrew Scripture in Genesis 28:12, Jacob’s ladder:

“He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it.”

Essentially Jesus is calling himself the stairway to heaven, the connector, the uniter.

These are moments when heaven and earth met. The unity of matter and spirit. God incarnate means ascending and descending between the heavens and the earth, and they are one. That’s what it means for God to be embodied.

So what does it mean now that matter and spirit are united? It means you matter.

Result: The Sacredness of YOU

That means God is reclaiming all earthly things as holy things! God is in the business of divinizing, sacramentalizing ordinary things into extraordinary things! Jesus’ resurrection meant that bodies are reclaimed from ordinary death to extraordinary eternal life! And he held simple, man made things like bread and wine, and notice it wasn’t something like dirt or water, existing natural things, but human processed food that was made from the work of hands, dough kneaded by hand and baked with accuracy, and grapes stomped by feet and aged with science precision to make wine, he held bread and wine and made them sacred things. “This is my body,” he says.

That means God is saying, this is mine, human things are mine. That mean our withering bodies that will fade away, are God’s. That means, your social studies, scientific discoveries, technology and artistic creativity are mine.  Don’t you know that I have made you holy? That means black and brown bodies are mine and holy, bearing the image of God. That mean sexually exploited bodies are mine. That mean exploited workers and their hands are mine. It means our culture, our ethnicities, our pride, our heritage, our traditions, our mundaneness, our jobs, are all made sacred by the living God who walked the earth, died and resurrected, reclaiming all things.

But it is hard to believe it sometimes, in this broken world. We’re told that we’re not good enough and we doubt and fear our God-given holiness as we are. We think we always need to be something else. Self hatred and rejection of our own bodies is a real struggle. I’ve experienced this as I’ve struggled being Asian. Recently there was a movie called Crazy Rich Asians and it brought things up for people about self rejection. Here’s a Twitter confession that resonated with so many emotionally. Let me read the series of tweets for you. @Kimmythepooh says:

I’ve had my own, you don’t wanna be […] anymore. I don’t wanna be Korean anymore. I don’t want to be Lydia anymore.  I wish I was a white man(white aspiration is real). I hate that I was born into this world, to a poor family, in this stupid body that I’m stuck in. I don’t wanna be alive anymore.

I think seeing God as Jesus, as a human being, is like seeing Crazy Rich Asian as an Asian American. Representation matters! Jesus showed up as a vulnerable baby, to a unwed single mom, without a crib.

At the end of the day, the reason why we’re so afraid to really recognize the humanity of Jesus is because that means holiness is too close and I no longer have an excuse or an out. Follow Jesus, What would Jesus do? Well, yeah that’s Jesus. He’s God! And me, I’m just me. Mere human being. “Spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak,” we say. That’s a false dichotomy that’s not from Christian understanding, but as Steve mentioned last week, is a remnant and influence of Greek philosophy; Plato’s division of the soul and body heavily heavily influenced modern ways of thinking, and have even shaped our theology. But that is not what God was doing. God was making our hearts, mind, strength, and all to be in union with him, as seen by exhibit A — Jesus. Here is an example: fully human, fully divine. It’s possible! When we admit this, we have no excuse to be not extraordinary.

Let me end with one of my favorite quotes by Marianne Williamson:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. . . . You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. God is here. God is within us. Do you believe that?

You don’t really ever feel something else truly within you like pregnancy. “Christ in me” is such a metaphor. And then this pregnancy things really brings it to a lived reality of what it means to always be united with something else. That umbilical cord is like the stairway to heaven, connecting me to the baby inside. She didn’t exist before. She came into being in my body. She, the concept of her, an imagination, embodied herself within me. We’re constantly united and in communication. And even then, I forget sometimes. And so even though we know God is with us, I know we forget sometimes. That the incarnate God is in union with us. We don’t believe it, until God nudges or kicks, and we feel a bump, and we’re like, oh yeah, hi God.

Let’s believe it, that God is here. Right here within us. They say it’s good for me to talk to the baby, to get ready for her, to welcome her to this world. Let’s try the same to God within us. I think that’s kind of like prayer.

Out of the Depth

Psalm 130

Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD.

Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications!

If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities, Lord, who could stand?

But there is forgiveness with you, so that you may be revered.

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope;

my soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning, more than those who watch for the morning.

O Israel, hope in the LORD! For with the LORD there is steadfast love, and with them is great power to redeem.

It is he who will redeem Israel from all its iniquities.

And

1 Kings 19:4-8

19:4 But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a solitary broom tree. He asked that he might die: “It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life, for I am no better than my ancestors.”

19:5 Then he lay down under the broom tree and fell asleep. Suddenly an angel touched him and said to him, “Get up and eat.”

19:6 He looked, and there at his head was a cake baked on hot stones, and a jar of water. He ate and drank, and lay down again.

19:7 The angel of the LORD came a second time, touched him, and said, “Get up and eat, otherwise the journey will be too much for you.”

19:8 He got up, and ate and drank; then he went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb the mount of God.

Well, it’s good to be with you this morning. I’m especially thankful for today because it’s our wedding anniversary. So I’d like to give a shoutout to my awesome husband Eugene Shiu. You don’t know how much support a minister’s spouse gives for me to do my job well. Happy anniversary baby, and thank you for encouraging me always to be the pastor God calls me to be. So in light of that, I’ll share a story about us to open up my talk today. It’s a little cheezy but hey, it’s my anniversary! Today’s talk about is about grief and lament, so I think I can start out with a little cheeze.

Ugly Crying to God

So, Eugene and I met at church in a small group. It wasn’t an ordinary group, but an intentional 12 week series on the Enneagram where you reflected with a group of people about your personality type, your blind spots, your sin tendencies, your childhood trauma that shaped your worldview and so forth. So yeah, a great way to get to know a person. And because we got to know each other in that context, our first few dates were already very intense with vulnerable conversations about ourselves. I remember sitting at a bar next to him and over drinks, at about our 3rd or 4th date or so, and he would assure me that I could share anything, that there was no judgement or shame from him. And I hated that because, I’m suppose to keep my crazy in at least until 3 months into the relationship. But he kept making me feel safe. Kept affirming me for all that I am in that moment, no matter where I’ve been, what I’ve done, or what’s been done to me. But it was those early conversations that became the bedrock of our relationship. To be completely open and vulnerable, honest, even about the ugly, well especially about the ugly. And I think, that’s love. Can I totally ugly cry in front of you and will you still think I’m beautiful?

That’s why I love today’s Psalm because this is a picture of a guy ugly crying to God in his prayer. He says, out of my depth, I cry to you Lord. I’m at my worst God. I’ve hit bottom. He says, Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications!

Do you hear me God? Do you see me crying out to you, Lord?

His prayer progresses and evolves. Like a real conversation where emotions arise and shape the interaction.

A wave of anger,

Are you listening, God?

A crash of guilt,

Oh if you saw all my iniquities….

a moment of understanding receding like an ocean wave,

I’ll wait, I’ll wait for you.

Resurgence of hope and proclamation,

For with the Lord there is steadfast love!

What an honest prayer. And the Psalms are great examples of the kind of prayers we can have with God. Because God can take our anger, our grief, our lament. The question is, can we? Can we face our pain? What do we think that God does with our hurts? And what do we do in the face the pain and sorrows of those around us?…Those are my points today, What do we do with our pain. What does God do with our pain? What do we do with the pain of others?

Facing our dark side is not a fun or easy thing to do. C.S Lewis in his book, A Grief Observed says,

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.

It’s not pleasant. It’s not a welcomed guest when it hits us. Like a stab of loneliness that suddenly comes when the house is quiet and internet is not working. The reality is, it’s not whether you face it or not, it comes to us.

A Spanish mystic from the 16th century named St. John of the Cross wrote an extended poem called Dark Night of the Soul, as an inevitable pathway to knowing and experiencing God fully. He describes this experience of facing such void, a spiritual crisis of sorts, a place where God seems absent and distant, a place where tangible affections fade, where you soul is faced with the darkest of the night. He compares this journey to the life an infant, who once was held safe in the tender care of a  loving mother, enjoying the sweet milk of her bosom, but soon must grow up to no longer be cradled but walk out into the world. Like so, the spiritual child is released from the first initial joy of God’s goodness, and experiences a dark world. Jesus warned Peter of this, when he was still enamored with love and devotion when Jesus asked him if he loved him and he responded with, Of course Lord! Jesus says,

Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go. (John 21:18)

In the same manner, we all grow up and are lead to places we do not want to go.

The book Dark Night of the Soul was such a companion to my own dark nights. It endlessly describes the despair, the stuckness, the emptiness, the loss of appetite for anything enjoyable–and it seemed to capture my experience so well. It accounted, for me, words I dared not say, that it felt as though God had abandoned me, and there was no consolation. Speaking truth to the state and the extent of my grief was, an encouragement to me. Have you ever been met with such dark night of the soul? What was that like for you? Maybe it’s a distant memory you’re grateful for getting through. Maybe you’re there now, in and out, week to week. Or maybe you’ve never been really aware of it, but wonder if it’s looming there somewhere. Have you had the courage to face it? Or does it bubble up when you least expect it? Wherever you are, it eventually finds us all. Life has its hurdles of suffering and pain. And if not in life, well, the end of life, even Jesus asked, “My God My God, why have you forsaken me”

So. What are we to do when the dark night comes to us? St. John of the Cross offers again and again to simply be there, he says,

The conduct to be observed in the night of sense is this… let the soul be quiet at rest, though they may think they are doing nothing, that they are losing time, and that their lukewarmness is the reson of their unwillingness to employ their thoughts. They will do enough if they keep patience… all they have to do is keep their soul free, unembarrassed, and at rest from all thoughts and all knowledge, not anxious about their meditations… (p.43)

It says to let the worries rest! Let the anxieties just do its thing. Let the soul rest in the dark. That’s not the advice I’ve received from my mom when things get tough.

Welcoming Pain

There’s a funny comic that describes this pretty well, an article from Buzzfeed titled, “What it’s like explaining Depression to your Asian parents”, but I think it’s how many people respond to depression, even to their own.

[Buzzfeed Comic] What actually happens: vs. What we wish would happen:

What do you do with your pain? What do you say to yourself? Do you welcome it? Or ignore it? What does grief or lament look like for you?

And this dark cloud sometimes hits at the weirdest time too. We find the character Elijah coming to this dark place at a strange time in his journey as a prophet. He comes to this place where he’s defeated and is ready to give up, saying to God, “It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life,” It’s one of rare places in the Bible where someone is suicidal. Steve preached on this text and about suicide about a year ago called, Yes to Life. If you’ve struggled with this or know someone, check out the talk on our website. I want to point us to the rest of the story, but just want to pause and say Elijah experienced it.  It’s a real threat to so many of us and we should all be more open in talking about it. Reach out to one of us the pastors, or a therapist, or a friend.

The crazy thing about Elijah’s moment here is that he just had this epic victory, in the prior chapter, and should be on a high off of it. He had a public showdown with prophets of Baal, all 450 of them, where they set up an altar and prayed to Baal, danced around and asked for fire, while Elijah mocked them saying, “I think your God might be busy? Maybe taking a nap? Maybe on a vacay?” I’m serious, he makes fun of them hard, read chapter 18. But the fire never came.  And then Elijah stepped up to his altar, and made this grand gesture to add water to his altar, and boom fire came down and he was like, see my God rocks! So the other guys are really mad and wanted to kill him. So Elijah was on the run, and this is where we find him today. But, I mean, he JUST saw God’s miraculous work vindicate him in front of all his enemies, so why is he so down? I don’t know. Sometimes things hit us at weird times.

Two of my darkest times were right after graduating from UCLA and right after seminary. It’s like when you’ve achieved something, something else seems to be missing. Or the things that you’ve been working so hard for, all this time, doesn’t live up to filling or making up for other things. I remember there were days where I would coup myself up in my room, binge watching Korea drama and eating only cup ramen for days. I would have no motivation to do anything productive, or even shower, or clean up after myself. I had ramen bowls just stacking up on my desk and I was so gross just in my bed for days. The pillow was my solitary tree. I remember praying and crying into that pillow for days, soaking my diary as I journaled… And then I distinctly remember one morning, after another night of twisting and turning in my bed, wrestings with my own thoughts of laziness and disgust, I recall, hearing something other than the thoughts I’ve been saying to myself. It said, “Get up. And wash your face.” And I remember thinking, where did that come from? Because I’ve had no strength to do anything past few days. And it sounded strange, and, so simple, and gentle. Not like the voices I was familiar with, saying why can’t you be disciplined like an adult and cook yourself a decent meal. Why can’t you go out and do something worthwhile and make something of yourself? It was definitely a different voice that I didn’t recognize. And yet, it seemed doable, “go wash your face. That’s all you need to do for now.” And I got up and washed my face.

I remember thinking of this Bible story then too. When Elijah was defeated and laid down, God woke up him gently saying, “Get up and eat” And there it was, beside his head, “some bread baked on hot stones and a jar of water!” I mean, who doesn’t like fresh baked bread and a water when they wake up from a nap? And so he ate and drank, and took another nap, and God woke him up again and said, “eat some more”.

God Our Mother

“Eat Some More.” now that is one way that my mom definitely showed me love. That was her love language. Growing up, she would always have something to feed me, fruit, bread, rice cakes, nuts. And in college and beyond, she would  come over with tupperwares of Korean side dishes, called banchan, and kimchi, to stock up my fridge. Sometimes so much so, I dreaded her coming cause she’d fill up my fridge and I couldn’t eat ramen anymore. Eat some more.

What does God do when we’re at the end of our rope? God gives us a snack and a nap. I got this from my mentor and friend, pastor Peter Choi. A God who gives us a snack and a nap. This may be a different God than we’ve come to assume for many of us. We’re used to a more of a father figure, that gives us instructions, sets up expectations and goals for us to meet, teaches us to do things. And I know Jesus called God Abba, which was provocative in its time to call the unspeakable name of God YWHW (which they literally didn’t say because it was too holy and that’s why it’s translated as the LORD in the Bible usually), so to call the Lord, Abba was bringing the parental character of God closer to us than ever, rather than insisting that God is male. There are many names for God in the Bible, and many descriptions, metaphors, and anthropomorphized Godly characteristics. God is a Rock. God is a Helper. Sometimes God is sleeping or is jealous or smells things. They all try to get at the true nature of who God is, but none captures it completely.

What would it be like, to imagine God, as a creative theological exercise in expanding our minds about what God is like, to think of God as a mother. A mother who held you in God’s womb and birthed you into being. A mother who nursed you, and you were on her back as a baby, or playing in her lap. A mother when you cried, cradled you in her arms wiping your tears and snot with her sleeve, singing to you? A mother who put you down for a nap and prepared your favorite snack when you woke up. What’s it like to see God like a mother to you? The Bible describes a God like a mother bear that protects, like a mother in labor who cries out for you, as a mother hen who holds you in her wings. What do you think of a God who, in your darkest moment, doesn’t condemn you or is disappointed in you but offers you rest and nourishment?

And if we have a God who can hold and comfort us in our grief, how might we be that for others? In the same way, you don’t need to tell them what to think. Just be with them. And bring them fresh baked bread. It’s a thing we all do naturally. When we see someone take a fall, when we don’t know what to do, offer them a cup of water. When we don’t know what to say in the face of tragedy, start a meal train. When your heart goes out to someone but not sure what to do? Invite them over to your house and cook them a meal.

Jesus in his last days on earth, after his resurrection also fed his disciples, before he ascended into heaven. At the end of book of John, chapter 21, Jesus met his the disciples by the beach. He appeared to them while they were fishing. And when they came on the shore, you know what they found? Jesus cooked breakfast for them, “fresh fish cooking over a charcoal fire, and some bread” it says. And Jesus said,  “Now come and have some breakfast!” Sweet Jesus, again, who doesn’t love a beachside cookout? After he fed them he asked Peter, “do you love me? And he replied, you know I love you. “Then feed my lambs” Jesus told him. And he asked again, do you love me?” and Peter replied again, “Yes, Lord you know I love you!” “Then take care of my sheep” And he asked again, and Peter got hurt, “Lord you know everything!” And Jesus repeated the last time again, “Then feed my sheep”.

Let me wrap up with the summary on our programs.

  • What are we to do with our pain?

In your depths, cry out to the Lord. God can take it.

Face your grief. Let the Dark Night of the Soul come. Welcome lament.

Be gentle with your pain. Let it rest.  Let it do its thing.

  • What does God do with our pain?

In our times of despair, God offers us a nap and a snack.

The loving mother God holds you, dries your tears, will feed you and cradle you in her arms.

  • What are we to do with the pain of others?

Journey with those through grief and lament, with bread. Feed them.

May we be the children that cry out to our Mother God who hears us, comforted by Her everlasting love and grace, and fed and nourished, go out and feed the hungry, feed the hungry, feed the hungry.

I want to end this time by giving us a chance to rest with a song. A time for us to just sit and take in and be washed over by this scripture text, Psalm 130. Out of the Depth, I cry to thee…. Let us listen and take in this prayer:

Be Present

I am the youngest of 3. I have an older sister, 4 ½ years older than me, and older brother 6 years older. Although my brother is the eldest, my sister is the pillar of our family. She’s the one to text us when somebody’s birthday is coming up, and we’re like — ‘Oh yeah, it’s somebody’s birthday!’. She takes care of our parents’ needs the most. And she hosts all the family gatherings at her house. And she’s really good at it! She puts together the best cheese plates. And it’s so awesome because she puts together these cheeses and olives, with tiny cute toothpicks — I dunno where she buys em, variety of crackers, and she’s who I found out about The Unexpected Cheddar cheese from Trader Joe’s, it’s my favorite. If you don’t know about it, you’re welcome. Go get some. It’s amazing. And she’s just so natural at it. And we all gather around the table, reaching, eating, talking, drinking, laughing, all the while, my sister is constantly replenishing the spread with things that quickly run out, busting out another pack of the unexpected cheese as soon as it looks low. Most of us don’t even notice her doing this. It’s so natural and it’s always been this way. I’ve only recently noticed that she’s doing this, as my husband Eugene has joined our family gatherings, and himself being the pillar of his own family saw my sister and pointed it out. She still talks about that first family gathering where he noticed her taking out the trash while everyone’s watching TV in the living room. How she felt seen and it was so weird, and how nice it is to have someone notice her work.

We’re talking about how to “Be Present” today, in our series of The Jesus Model for Every Day Interactions, anchoring the point in the story of Mary and Martha from Luke 10:38-42, where the two sisters are hosting Jesus at their house, and Martha is busy and Mary is sitting at Jesus’ feet, listening to his teachings. Let’s hear what Jesus has to say and unpack that a little bit for our today’s context.

Jesus Visits Martha and Mary – verse 38

38Now as they (the disciples) went on their way, Jesus entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. 39She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. 40But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.” 41But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; 42there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”

The story is interesting to me because it seems like a very practical issue. And honestly, I can relate with both Martha and Mary, although in my family my sister is Martha and I’m Mary for sure. But in other ways, I’m very sympathetic to Martha. Many women know what this feels like in a more traditional role sense, where she’s doing a gazillion things that others don’t see — cooking, cleaning, beautifying, childbearing, and looking good while doing it all. And I’m interested in what Jesus is saying and what he means, because I’d love to sit and chat instead of running around — yas please!

I’m sympathetic to Martha because my mom was also a Martha. My father was a pastor, and as the pastor’s wife, especially in their generation, it’s a weird un-glorious role with expectation to be the host as the pastor’s wife, bring out tea, cut the fruit, be only gracious and serving, but of course no leading or teaching.

Many sermons have been preached from this text with the moral of the story being that learning about God is better than preparing a meal, washing dishes, or doing house work. I mean, somebody has to grocery shop, prep, cook, and clean! It doesn’t happen by magic! Some commentators have leaned in to raising women from traditional role of housework, to become disciples and theologians. Yes, good, but it seems weird to make comparison as to which is better… I mean, in just one chapter before, Luke 9, the disciples are arguing about who is the greatest, and Jesus answers “whoever is the least among you is the greatest.” I liked that because it wasn’t my favorite things to see only my dad get respect and honor from people, while my mom’s hard work, which too was ministry, went unappreciated.

And in Luke chapter 22, Jesus says — Who is more important, the one who sits at the table or the one who serves? The one who sits at the table, of course. But not here! For I am among you as one who serves.

I know it might feel like I’m making the text more complicated than it seems, but I think it’s important to unpack the story and see what Jesus is actually saying. It’s important because people have often used bible texts to defend something, taking a line out of a story and applying it with assumptions. So I don’t want us to just make assumptions about this text, simplifying it into a Christian jargon with just the takeaway of, “don’t be a martha!”

You know what I think? I think Jesus saw Martha even deeper than how she saw herself. You know how sometimes we project things unto others, things we haven’t reconciled within ourselves, we pick out at others. Martha was pointing to Mary, complaining, blaming,“Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself?” and bossing Jesus around, “Tell her then to help me.” Something’s going on with her. And I think Jesus was not making a comparison about what kind of role is better, but trying to get to her heart.

You see, the work Martha was doing, we make assumptions that she was probably doing housework, sure she’s a woman hosting someone at her house, of course that’s what she would be doing, but that’s our lens of prenotions about that. The text says, “Martha was distracted by her many tasks;” And some translations have even added words like, “Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing” but the original text doesn’t say that. They added it for “clarification” or “to paint a picture”.

The original text simply says, Martha was distracted or anxious, about or with, many or a great number, service/help/ministry. The RSV translation says “by much serving” and the NRSV “by too many tasks.” These words are translations of the Greek word diakonia, which is usually translated as “service” or “ministry”. The word deacon is related to it.

Martha was caught up in ministry work. Instead of spending time with Jesus.

So, it isn’t that learning, talking, and thinking is better than manual labor work.  Because servers of the table are greater than those who are being served. It’s that Martha was busy with ministry, when the thing that matters is not doing more ministry, being a better Christian by evangelizing, serving in church, being a blessing, but simply being seen by Jesus. Being captivated by Jesus, instead of being distracted.

And there are many of us, especially those who’ve been around the church longer, been Christian for a while, who need to hear this. Cause honestly, it’s easier for the church and pastors to teach to do something. Let’s serve here. Join this program. Go and do this. But all of those things should and will come naturally when we preachers point to the only thing that matters, being with Jesus. But it’s easier to get busy and see results, get things done and feel really productive. We’re all Martha’s! We’re a generation of multitasking and efficiency. Our culture values this. We’re all very highly capable, productive people. The world tells us that we can do it all. Be able to work at all times with access to email on  our phones. “I’m reachable!” we say. I’ve heard friends talk about competitive environment at work, how they like to be the one who responds to an email at 11 PM, showing they are still working, or 6 AM, right when they wake up, even before their commute. We are a distracted and anxious generation.

But the thing is, we’re starting to see the harms of it all. A TIME magazine article titled, “Why Multitasking is Bad for You” says, “The neuroscience is clear: We are wired to be mono-taskers. One study found that just 2.5% of people are able to multitask effectively. And when the rest of us attempt to do two complex activities simultaneously, it is simply an illusion.” What? I gotta take that out of my resume. We were built this way. We were made to be “only one thing” as Jesus said. Not efficient. But to be with God.

Here’s another fascinating case for why we should embrace just being, instead of being efficient and busy. With mindfulness and contemplative meditation practices on the trend, we’re starting to see scientific evidence for their benefits. I got this from the NPR Ted Radio Hour podcast from last week’s episode called Attention Please, talking about our distractions and addiction to our cellphones. I learned that when we are not multitasking, not distracted, just sitting, we are doing a thing that neuroscientists and cognitive psychologists call, Autobiographical planning. It’s the thing that happens in the midst of day-dreaming, being bored, not doing anything, letting our minds wander.  When you are doing this, apparently you’re igniting a network in your brain called the default mode, where your body goes on auto pilot, the mind gets actually more activated, tapping into the subconciousness, may I dare to say the divine within? It’s when you make connections between your life events or experiences, reflect and take note of things and create a narrative, and even solve problems or figure out a deeper understanding about ourselves.

But we don’t even give ourselves a chance to do this, because, we are busy. With notifications on our phones that’s commanding me to look at this! check this email! like this post! read this comment of a friend whom you haven’t talked to in years on a post you don’t care about but we’re connecting you — yay!  The average person checks their email 74 times a day, and switches task on our computer 566 times a day, according to the studies of Dr. Gloria Mark, a professor of informatics. What I found most fascinating and sad is that, she said that the more stressed we are, we tend to shift our attention more rapidly. And this one is hilarious — that the shorter amount of sleep one has gotten, the more times they check Facebook! We are stressed, tired, and more distracted than ever.

Like the experts say, I think the reason why we’re so distracted is because we are stressed. Because the present is maybe too much to handle, because the pain of the past or the fear of the future is too daunting. This is an area I have a personal experience, a struggle I’ve faced in my life. I found out this about me through a personality type system called the Enneagram. It’s kind of like the Myers-Briggs but instead of letters, it has 9 numbers. Each number is a type that represents a set worldview that you operate from. I’ve really enjoyed journeying with the Enneagram as a way to understand myself more in the past few years because it’s allowed me to really examine myself.

I’m an Enneagram number 7. They call it the epicurist or enthusiast. They’re generally super positive, optimistic, and fun! What I like about the Enneagram is that not only does it key in on your type as to how you tend to be, but it actually gets to why you do what you do. And usually it’s something pretty negative — a skewed view of the world, you might say — often times much to do with your earliest experiences of trauma. It’s wired with how we react to the world. Almost like a defense mechanism. When you experienced that something wasn’t right with the world, when you experienced pain, or neglect, or whatever, all of us developed a way to understand the world: like I must work hard to show that I matter, or I must be quiet and blend in to keep peace, or I must always help to be noticed. For 7, it’s I must avoid pain because the world is a painful place. I experienced a very early childhood trauma and it shaped me to always see the silver lining in things, instead of facing the pain. 7’s are usually caught up in the future. The present isn’t good enough, there’s gotta be always a little bit more. Addictions also work like this. Always looking forward to the next high. It’s also how you never experience true satisfaction.

For me, to embrace the present wasn’t just a simple thing of doing mindfulness exercises, although they were some of the practices that I had to take on, but a big thing about truly being present was to face my past. To really hold it honestly, with courage, with openness. I’ve asked God, on the real though, Where were you then? And be like, mad at God because that’s being real with your past! I mean, if you have doubts about the presence of God in that moment crucial moment where everything changed for you, that shaped who you are today — what hope is there in seeing today, this very moment as sacred or holy, full and present with the spirit of God? There isn’t. God wasn’t there then. God isn’t here now. So what does it matter at all? Just live for the next release. So for me, it took real grieving and being real with God about my pain, for me to face my pain. Which actually liberated me from perpetual escapism to the future, allowing me to be present.

Why is it so difficult for so many of us to be present?  Because most of us are caught up in past and future. What keeps you in the past? Is it regret? Or replaying a mistake over and over in your head? Something that didn’t work out for you. Or wish things could’ve been different? What future hopes or dreams keep you preoccupied to the present? What envy or next promotion keeps you from being fully you now and not just working for the next step?

I got to learn about the Emmanuel Prayer since I’ve arrived to Reservoir. I think it’s a beautiful practice of inviting God to your past. Or seeing that Jesus was there all along. And they do sometimes take practice to do, because it takes a moment for us to not be distracted, to really bring us to a place where God is real and present. We’ve been providing these little “business cards” during this series of the Jesus model for every day interactions, with different spiritual practices to try, one side for you and God, and the other side for you and people. Because these spiritual disciplines take guidance and practice, and whatever we’re offering you to be, be kind, be present, etc, you must first know that God is that to you. Tap into that first, and the rest will come easy. We have a new one for you this week to try, and I want to lead us through it now and practice together. For you and God. A practice called the Daily Examen.

The Daily Examen is an ancient spiritual practice that helps us become aware of God’s presence in our day. It’s a way to slow down and carve out a sacred time and space to say, God, I invite you to my day, or inviting yourself to see God in your day. There’s 5 steps, and let me lead us through the spiritual practice now, so that you have a sense of what it’s like, and hopefully you can give it a try on your own this week sometime. I’ll take many moments of silences in between for you reflect through, and end us with Amen. To begin, you may choose to close your eyes. Get into a comfortable position. You could lay both feet on the ground, or choose to open your hand on your lap. Take a moment to just breath and let us begin with a few moments of silence.

The Daily Examen

  1. Become Aware of God’s Presence

Invite God to the moment. Welcome God’s grace and love.

  1. Review Your Day with Gratitude

Look over the day thus far with God’s eyes. What have you seen or experienced? Hold them with gratitude.

  1. Reflect on the Feelings You had in Your Day

Carefully notice the areas that bring up certain feelings. What did you feel?

  1. Face Your Shortcomings

Pray over the day’s mistakes or shortcomings.

  1. Look Toward Tomorrow

Pray with hope for tomorrow. Invite God to what’s to come.

Amen.

You know why you can be present? Because God is present to your past — your regret, your pain, your wrongdoing, or wrong that’s been done to you, everything in all its ugly. They are not far from God but God moves towards it, and sees it, and knows it, just as surely as you felt whatever you felt, God feels it too. And God is present to your future. Your hopes, your fears, your unknown and expectations. Your doubts of your dreams and your grandeur of your future self in all its glory, God sees it and knows it and is with you now as you face them. Do you believe that?

There’s also a practice for you to try with you and people, but again, it’s not a to do, but it’s do less.

[Practice]

For you and people:

Embrace silence in conversations. Don’t respond immediately.

Practice humility in your conversations. Try to relax and just listen.  

Let go of your agenda. Don’t think about what you’re going to say.

Let us not get busy but be, with God. For you to be simply seen by God.

Go forth and do less. Be present. Just be.

The Daughters of Zelophehad

When I was 16 year old, living in Wichita, Kansas, freshman year in high school, I got a chance to join a group of teen leaders, call The Wichita’s Promise Youth Council. Each high school had 2 representatives throughout the city and about 20 of us were brought together to tackle issues that adolescents faced in our city. We arranged a focus study to be done throughout various youth groups, juvenile intakes, teen programs and asked, “what are top 3 issues we teens face today?”

The result of the focus study tallied to #1. Nothing to do, 2. Teen pregnancy, 3. Drugs.

From the study, we concluded that teen pregnancy and drugs stemmed from the first issue, because when you have nothing to do that’s fun or healthy, kids end up having sex and doing drugs. From our finding we presented a solution, to come up with a club for teens. It would have a dance floor with a DJ and lights, a game section with arcades and pool table, and even an information center where you can get pamphlets about STD’s and drugs. The proposal was taken to the city council. We got to present at the city council meeting, we were even on TV! And got a grant to build a club! We shopped around for venues and found an old country line dancing club that was closing down, and turned it into the teen club. I don’t remember how we did all this. I only remember having one adult staff who helped us out. But it’s one of the most memorable experiences I’ve ever had, where I discovered that if you voice your concerns and take action to solve problems, it can be done.

This is one of the reasons why today’s Bible story is so interesting to me. We’ve been in the series called The Ways of Passion and Courage, highlighting some stories from the Old Testament that don’t get told too often. This story, the story of the daughters of Zelophehad is from the book of Numbers. The name of the book really doesn’t sell it. Like, who’s gonna read a book called, Spreadsheets.  It does have a lot of Numbers. Alot of census and lists of clans and descendents. Numbers is a part of the Books of the Laws, that follow Exodus, after the Isrealites leave Egypt, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy capture much of the rules and law, that set their nation apart, as a unique people of God. It sought to create new ways to live as a small growing nation, finding and setting boundaries and guidelines to exist as a people. And today’s story captures 5 women who had the courage to speak out about the injustice of their existing inheritance laws. I think the story can show us a few things about how we too can participate in the law of God. I want to invite us to take a look through 3 different perspectives, First, seeing how the daughters carried out their actions and what we can learn from their ways, Second, how Moses and the leaders responded,  from the perspective of those in power to see how those of us with privilege can respond, and Third, how God invites us to join in and abide in God’s law and what that means. So 3 points, 1 what are the daughters doing, 2, what Moses is doing, 3 what God’s doing.

 

So, the daughters, Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah and Tirzah. I love that the Bible included their names. Like last week’s story that pastor Ivy shared about the 2 midwives, Shiphrah and Puah, names of female characters in the Bible are significant, especially because they were often left out, like the woman at the well, the bleeding woman, or most the genealogy records. Verse 3 says that they approached, “the entrance to the Tent of Meeting and stood before Moses, Eleazar the priest, the leaders and the whole assembly”. This is significant that they approached this place, because the Tent of Meeting was the tabernacle entrance, which means, “dwelling” or “presence”, meaning where God dwelled. A holy sacred place. It’s where only the leaders of the leaders were allowed in. There were a few different names of this area, some called it the Holy of Holies, it might have also referred to even Moses’ personal tent. Either way, it’s not a place definitely any women would think to enter.

 

When I first arrived to Reservoir, Steve gave me a tour of the building and gave me some history behind it. One of the most striking things that I immediately fell in love with was this sanctuary right here. I remembered learning in seminary the careful theological reflections that were thoughtfully implemented in the architecture of sacred buildings like this. That the ceilings were built high, to draw our eyes up, to gaze upon the high and lofty one. It sure is beautiful, and I don’t know if you know how lucky we are to be able to worship weekly in such a beautiful building. But what I loved the most was the story of when Reservoir came in. That originally this was the back of the sanctuary, and the dome you see behind yourself was the front. Renovations were made after some miraculous fundraising campaigns I hear, to close the back entrance up, and make the dome the front where everyone entered through. Now, I don’t know if that was a theological decision, but it meant something so beautiful to me. That the place where only the priests would stand, were opened wide for all to enter through, making us priesthood of all believers, having access to God, all who enter those doors, a royal priesthood. I loved that. As Jesus said, “so the last will be first and first will be last”.

If you’ve ever been left out, rejected, glazed over, this is good news to you. That’s why Jesus offended so many of those who were not outcasts. Those with power. To me, the Gospel offers such good news especially as a woman. Jesus was always turning things upside down. You see, I grew up in asian culture that really reinforces hierarchy. I think there’s some good and bad to it, but just to give you an example, the culture is that whenever you meet someone, you should assume that they are at first older than you and speak in the formal manner of the language. That’s respect. If they are truly older, there’s a lot of random, even not too antiquated rules like, when you are at a bar drinking with an older person, you would cheers and then younger person would have to turn away to drink. Really!

Growing up at the dinner table, you weren’t supposed to touch, lift your silverware, and start eating until the oldest person had done so. There are bazillion little hierarchy rules like this. And some I still respect, but some were difficult. It means that many daughters grew up with less respect and adoration from adults than sons.

And not even in just my culture but, in my religion, I’ve been told by some that I shouldn’t be a pastor, that I shouldn’t teach or preach because women aren’t supposed to speak in church, because they decided to do a reading of Paul’s letter to a specific congregation having conflict especially with women that were causing trouble, to mean it as a rule for all women in all church for the rest of time. But look at me now. preaching . At the the back of the sanctuary that’s been turned upside down by the miracles of Jesus. I’m so honored to be here and share my gifts and my passions with you today. And I do it with great respect and humility. That I know it wasn’t my “RIGHT” to be here, but a gift. That God’s great mercy to me, a sinner was to restore me to one who bears God’s image, a child of God. None of us deserves to be the first.

 

That’s why I all the more respect how the daughters handled the situation. They come to the entrance to the Tent of Meeting and says, “Our father died in the desert. He was not among Korah’s followers, who banded together against the Lord, but he died for his own sin and left no sons. Why should our father’s name disappear from his clan because he had no son? Give us property among our father’s relative.” You see their plea was to honor their father. They sought to restore their father’s name. They defended his name, pointing out the fact that he was not part of the rebellion that had been going on apparently with this guy name Korah. They called to his innocence in this matter and appealed their inheritance for his sake. How wise and persuasive they were! And it was probably a smart and witty way to approach these men. They were humble and respectful, even in the face of injustice. I think THAT takes courage. Courage doesn’t look like a superhero rising up with epic music in the background and muscles in tights. Real courage sometimes looks like stooping low, with a bowed head, in humble posture of service.

And for these daughters, this isn’t even an inconvenience or a small thing, it would have been a tragedy for them,  because without the inheritance, they would been left with no home, even pushed out of the land. Their family just journeyed 40 years through the desert, coming out of slavery in Egypt, and right when they were getting to the promise land, they would’ve been excluded. Just after losing their father, now about to lose their house. But even in this desperate situation, their courage was to not lose themselves to anger in the face of unfairness, but taking extra care to put on graciousness and respect. I respect that.

 

So, upon hearing the daughters’ plea, how did Moses respond? V. 5 says, “so Moses brought their case before the Lord.” His response was first take it to God. Maybe he didn’t know how to respond. He might even have been offended that the women showed up to the leaders meeting unannounced. They probably weren’t on the agenda and he probably had to deal with the other elders who demanded some order and rebuke for the situation. Not knowing what to do, Moses took it to the Lord. He was probably conflicted and unsure what the right decision was. It had always been passed on to next of kin who’s male. It had never been done this way. Daughters were never the heirs of land. Leaders who really listen to the voice of the oppressed absolutely have to rely on courage to be able to carry out the just way. Giving the land to the daughters was not just a matter of generosity or charity. It rubbed up their very laws that sought to mirror God’s just ways for God’s people. Justice work doesn’t come easy. It may not even be obvious. It’s different from doing good works, volunteering, or even helping the needy. Deep transformative life changing justice work may conflict with what seems even natural. What was traditionally thought as lawful was challenged by people’s experiences and voices crying out.

Reinhold Niebuhr, an American theologian and pastor from 1930’s talked about justice rooted deep in love, in his work, Love and Justice. He says,

“Justice requires discriminate judgement between conflicting claims.” And he  talked about various forms in which love can be expressed, including in the form of charity or philanthropy, making the case for a higher form of love as doing justice.  He says, “Love in the form of philanthropy is, in fact, on a lower level than a high form of justice. For philanthropy is given to those who make no claims against us, who do not challenge our goodness or disinterestedness. An act of philanthropy may thus be an expression of both power and moral complacency. An Act of justice on the hand requires the humble recognition that the claim that another makes against us may be legitimate.”

Mere good works doesn’t take courage. But to really hear someone, that you may not agree with at first, and listen to the cries of the oppressed actually takes, courage. Because it challenges us. Because it conflicts with what we thought we knew, what we were comfortable with. And when we are challenged and conflicted, we can take the issue and our conflicted hearts to the Lord, trusting that the Holy Spirit is alive within us to speak truth to our times. To submit our knowledge to the work of the Spirit takes courage, the courage to be humbled, the courage to take a cost to ourselves. And not only so, it gives us the power to love, not with giveaways in ways that’s convenient to us but to love sacrificially towards retributive, restorative justice for others.

You might be thinking, yeah leaders and people in power need to hear this! And I’m like the daughters of Zelophehad, I need to speak up with courage. But I want you to imagine that you are Moses for a moment. Because actually many of us, are in place of power. And we hear the voices but we just say, well I’m not in power. Yes you are. Right where you are, you always have the power to stand up for those who have even less voice than you. What does it look like for you to speak up to stir things in your systems, that’s frankly worked for you? When a woman shows discomfort with sexual jokes, maybe you weren’t offended, do you say something to the guy? When someone’s idea gets co-opted by someone else in a meeting, do you point it out? When the housing market doesn’t affect you, do you hear stories of struggles for those who can’t afford a home? We hold so much power actually in various fields of industry and realms of privilege. When someone speaks up about their experience and it doesn’t affect you, what do you do about it? It might take courage to even try to get passionate about it. Do you get passionate about injustices that doesn’t affect you? Do you care?

I think there’s something to be learned about the way Moses handled the situation. He was humble enough to not immediately respond but wrestle the issue with God and hear from God where he should stand on this issue. How can we do that with the issues that are brought to us? With the voices of oppression that you see and hear? How can you bring their concerns to your conversation with God? Wrestling on their behalf?

Last point, What is God doing in this story? God is promising us, even the least likely ones of us, to be the heirs of the land. The inheritance of the land to the daughters has real spiritual significance because the promise land, Cannan, was not only a place to live but an actualized dream of New Jerusalem where God was in fellowship with God’s people. It wasn’t just about land but relationship. Not only does God say that the daughters of the Zelophehad are right in what they are saying, but God goes further to to make the decree a law of the land, permanently. It says, v. 11, “you shall give his inheritance to the nearest kinsman of his clan, and he shall possess it.” Nearest kinsman. Here, in this story, even the daughters are counted as kin. This is how God’s land works. We are all kins.

In the last few decades biblical scholars have come to wrestle with a word that’s central to the Gospel, the kingdom of God. This word, “kingdom” is used in our english translation of the Bible to describe God’s reign. God’s realm. A land that is under God’s love and God’s law. But it’s also been problematic word, as word often get, due to things lost in translation, which as a bilingual person, trust me ALOTS can get lost in translation and some things just do not translate. Like there are Korean pun jokes that are so funny but I cannot explain to most of you. Like what did the car say to the bread? Bang bang! Because bread in korean is, bang, and the onomatopoeia of a car horn in Korean is ppang, so it’s funny. But see, not that funny. Anyways, I digress.

The word “kingdom” has its roots in human structure of governance. It draws from the familiar economy of power known to mankind, where a king rules and the people his subjects. However the kingdom of God that Jesus talked about was a whole new different kind of place than we could imagine. It was actually like an un-kingdom, an anti-kingdom, where peace reigned. But Kingdom still conjures up our historical memories of power, war, hierarchy, domination, which goes to undermine the heart of God’s promised land. It’s inaccurate.

Nowadays many strands of theologians have begun to use the word kin-dom, k, i, n, like kinship or kinsman. It was popularized by a mujerista theologian named Ada Maria Isasi-Diaz, who bore theology out of the experiences of Latina women in America. Her work of expounding on the kin-dom is biblically rooted in the faith that God does not seek to oppress us but to liberate us into living a radically different lives than the one we know, that we are all kins, family. In Matthew 12:49, Jesus, when he was with his disciples, pointed to them saying, “these are my mother and brothers.”  It is the interrelatedness that defines us as children of God. It’s not how to be, it’s who we are. The kingdom of God isn’t about what law to follow, the point is that we are God’s own children. Which changes everything about how we should live! You are God’s beloved daughter. You are God’s beloved son. You will have my inheritance. Do you believe that?

The story the daughters of Zelophehad invites us to be completely a part of, without exclusion, as one of God’s own children, in the kin-dom of God. What is God doing in this story? God is making us heirs to the kin-dom.

Let me wrap up and summarize with the fill in in our program.

Like the daughters of Zelophehad, let us seek justice with humility.

Like Moses and the leaders, let us listen to the voice of the oppressed and bring their case before the Lord.

But above all, Remember, God’s promise, that God welcomes all. No one is excluded. And YOU, YOU have a place in the kin-dom of God.

May we live our lives deeply rooted in the knowledge of this, as we usher in and participate in the kin-dom of God here and now.

 

Jesus you are the light of the world. What are mere human beings that you are mindful of them? Oh that’s right, you have adopted us as your children. And you delight in us. You love us. You’re so in love with us that you gave everything up for us. Help us to receive you now, and again, to welcome you in our lives daily, to every part of our lives, with you kindness, your law, and your love. We pray, Amen.

Come Out: Repentance as Resistance

The Lie of an Empire

Revelation 18:4-5 (New Revised Standard Version) 

4 Then I heard another voice from heaven saying,
“Come out of the city, my people,
so that you do not take part in its sins,
and so that you do not share in its plagues;

5 for their sins are heaped high as heaven,
 and God has remembered their iniquities.

I know a little bit about the lie of an empire from being born in South Korea and hearing about North Korea, our long lost brother and neighbor that was split off after the Korean war in 1945. I grew up learning about the state of North Korea as a totalitarian regime that’s filled with propaganda about their leader and their nation. I hear that for the most part people are happy and proud of their nation there; they’ve been taught to think so in every way. There are miracle stories people who escape the country to find a better life. But for the most part, the whole nation pretty much have a specific way of thinking that keeps people insulated and that’s just the way things are there. It deeply saddens me to know that they can’t even have the choice to leave a country.

North Koreans and South Koreans are essentially the same people, same language, but the context, the culture, has drastically parted ways in their way of thinking and way of life. So, It’s easy for me to see that there is a possibility, that a nation can create a world that determines how you think and how you come to be. We Americans, I think, take this for granted and also assume that we’re of course not so ignorant, not so rudimentary in our thinking, so primitive. We’re free! And we are, compared to many other nations. But any nation, any government system, every culture in history, telling us that that is secure for us, is naive, because the human condition, the human propensity is empire thinking. This has been so, through rise and fall of many empires in history, time and time again. It’s almost too familiar of a story that resonates with every generation. That a way of being, a man made system, a way to control the masses to keep power in place, the empire mentality seeps in to operate the human society, and it numbs us, it makes us just stimulated enough to be comfortable and we buy into the status quo.

The story of the empire of an age old story, and this is what the writer of Revelation is getting to now, in our journey through the book during Lent. As we have been learning, John is pretty imaginative with metaphors. It’s a brilliant literary device that drives his purpose, straight through, with a sharp arrow. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and Twilight ain’t got nothing on Revelation! My personal favorite of such dystopian genre is the TV show, Walking Dead. Ugh, I hate zombies and I loved the show. Such great storytelling! I hated all the blood, but it’s so epic and compelling. Like, what would you do, at the end of the world, if you have to go out and fight zombies and find food, or stay in one place and starve or be food. What would you do?! The fighting and the zombie scenes are ridiculous, a lot of ketchup was used. Sometimes we gotta bear through the metaphors to get to the story. And we have to do the same with our text today as well to do it honor. Male and female theologians have wrestled with this point and so it’s important to mention.

So, John is telling the story of Babylon as a representation of the empire, not only literally, but it represents of all the “babylons” of time, like Egypt, or Rome, or whatever power lure of the time. He juxtaposes this city to New Jerusalem, as the true city where God is the center of life. To get at this, he uses the derogatory term of (Trigger Warning, I’m going to say this a few times during the sermon, because it’s in the text) “whore” to describe Babylon, and “bride” for New Jerusalem. The point of this is that the seduction of Babylon is real, but New Jerusalem is the ultimate reality. That’s the message. But the method should be pointed out, that it is objectifying language of female bodies. Patriarchy runs deep, people, and we have to start with words, because they shape ideas and reinforce identities. And to not critique the metaphors we use has real consequences in how our boys view women, and our girls see themselves. So I’ve chosen to not reinforce the feminine pronouns for the cities and instead look carefully beyond the metaphors to get to the meaning of the passage.

So my talk today is going to be about: what does it mean to see “babylon”, the empire, for what it is — that it is only a twisted caricature of the New Jerusalem that represents the real world that God invites us to live in? And once we’ve seen it, how can we follow John’s calling to “come out” of the Babylon of our day? John invites us to repent and resist to the empire, that we may see the reality of the New Jerusalem at work right here right now.

So first, what is Babylon? Part of the issue with Babylon and empire thinking, is, at its core, seductive and insidious. “The fish doesn’t know that it’s in the sea.” And, “seductive”, not necessarily meaning and alluding to sexual immorality, but that much of it actually sounds pretty good. Like who wouldn’t want to build an empire that is powerful and strong, and great, who wouldn’t want to secure its walls and protect its people at all cost? Who wouldn’t want a thriving economy? Who wouldn’t want to be a part of great Babylon?  But what is so wrong with Babylon, John calls it a “whore”? This word, again, isn’t specifically pointing out sexual deviancy of the city at all, but the word in Hebrew, zana, is translated in Greek as “to be a market”. To be objectified. To be commodified. The sin less about sexual immorality, and more about the critique of the city’s socio-economical state of mind and thinking. I think sometimes we focus on sexual immorality more than greed in church, because greed kind of serves all of us. Greed gives us financial stability and growth. And sexual immorality, that’s the worst kind of sin! (btw, Jesus didn’t have measurements for which sin is greater, we do.)

Let me move us along the text. So John tells us to come out of this city. And goes on to explain what’s wrong with the city. The text continues, chapter 18, to verses 12-13. It lists off these things. Gold, silver, precious stones, pearls, fine linen, purple, silk, scarlet, scented wood, ivory, bronze, iron, marble, cinnamon, spice, incenses, wine, oil, flour, cattle sheep, chariots, slaves, and human souls. → these are, luxury items, and staple goods that build the economy. Market. Trade. The list is about all the ways and its goods are evidence of Economic pride and Affluence. Greed. This is empire thinking.

A Bible commentator put it like this, “Babylon referred not to a city-state or a long-fallen empire, but had become a living archetype of the human propensity to organize ‘civilization’ in opposition to God.” Empire, is a way of life we’ve figured out apart from God.

We get into our little methods and attempt to orchestrate our lives according to our own wisdom without thinking once about God, or table God for this particular area of my life. Finances, well finances, God doesn’t really understand the modern market, I have to do this this way. Or I’ll do good things after I gain this status, prestige, get to a certain level. What is your Babylon? Are you aware of the ways that the world system lulls you into thinking this is how you have to do things?

Maybe some of you might be thinking, oh not me, I’m an independent thinker, I don’t let the Man tell me who I am! Good for you, but also, I’m sorry but we’re all products of our times. You may say, “I’m totally objective!” — it’s the very misconception that keeps us blind. We’re all subjective. We’re all subjects to this time in history, this period of post-enlightenment thinking, I’m sorry, but we’re all caught up in it. The fish doesn’t know that it’s in the sea! Unless you’ve been that fish that’s been dropped out of water, and you’ve had to gasp for air, and that does end up happening to most of us, if not yet, it will. Reality check sets in sometimes. Usually through a kind of suffering we get to see what really matters. But for the most of us, for the most part, we are heavily influenced by the world around us.

What sea are you in that you may not be aware of? What Babylon permeates throughout your life? What empires do you have rising and taking a hold of your life? John cried to the people, “come out of there!” Repent and resist the empire. The book that Steve lent me on reading Revelation, called Unveiling Empire, puts it this way: “This departure from Rome is not understood in the physical sense, but is to be economic, social, political, and spiritual; the idea is to resist, to refuse to participate, to create alternatives.”

This, I think, begins with seeing that we are a naturally drawn to the empire, to repent the way you’ve participated and even contributed to the building of the empire, and resist its way and come out. How do we do this? It begins with you. I want to focus on the concept of “repentance as a form of resistance”. But I want us to talk about those words a bit, because both repentance and resistance carry a lot of different meanings these days.

Resistance

First resistance. The term RESIST! has gotten to be a complicated thought and have gained some bad rep. To fight and protest. We’ve seen angry or militant resistance. It’s become a overused term of, rah rah, resist, fight the power, question everything! It’s like the opposite of what Steve was talking about last week, listening with compassion and civil public engagement. But Resistance doesn’t have to look violent. It doesn’t have to not be civil. What does it look like for Christians, for Christ followers to resist in a different way than everyone else? What does holy resistance look like? To come out of our babylon, I’d like to offer us repentance as a form of resistance.

Repentance

Again, words are powerful And sometimes they take on the cultural connotation more than the definition itself. Repentance can be a loaded term these days. It’s been used on picket signs and shouted at on college campuses. REPENT! Many of us have might even have PTSD with the term in the context of american religiosity. It’s had focus on feeling bad, guilt, and feeling shame for wrong things we’ve done. A lot of sin focus, in modern Christianity, is on personal sin. I think this is where the western individualism has sometimes failed us in realizing, that sin is more than just about living a morally clean life by not drinking, smoking, or whatever the modern day issue might be. The issue of sin and repentance for John in Revelation, of Isaiah in the prophets, and for Jesus as well, was covering a much higher bar of sin than our bad lifestyle or wrong decisions. It was about the whole system of empire that lives in an ethos of injustice and exploitation. Jesus talked about the kingdom of God and seeing that and being a part of that, more than himself being your personal Lord and Savior. It’s about the kin-dom, the family, the whole system that operates in harmony with God. Not just your life, the whole thing, the whole world, your family, your country, your society, your philosophy, everything will be new. Isaiah wasn’t just talking about how to live a good Christian life, it was about systemic economic justice.

Isaiah 1:16-17 says:

16 Wash and make yourselves clean.
Take your evil deeds out of my sight;
stop doing wrong. (what is the wrong doing? What is the right thing?)
17 Learn to do right; seek justice.
Defend the oppressed.
Take up the cause of the fatherless;
plead the case of the widow.

Think about the word, righteousness. It’s used in the Bible alot. And to us, when we think about the word righteousness, we think of a good person, a righteous person. It’s commonly used and understood as someone who is religious pious. Both the hebrew (tsaddiq) and the greek (dikaiosuné) definition of the word, it’s usually translated as righteousness, but their definition also means “justice”. And to us, they seem more nuanced and different, righteousness and justice, but they are actually more synonymous! The ancient near east context is also much more wholistic and communal than our American individualistic mentality. Righteousness isn’t only about you being a better person, personal salvation, but being a part of a more just world and participating in the justice of God: that’s justice. It’s not about personal correctness, but justice in the sight of the Lord in all manners of life, in every aspect of life.

Maybe you’ve been told to repent for things in your life before from church that weren’t really about the justice of God, but more about getting in line and following the rules, like throwing away rock music, or kissing dating goodbye. I can see how “repentance” could conjure up a visceral reaction for you. But it simply means, “to turn”. To turn from where our eyes are set, from the seduction of the riches, or security, of comfort, of safety. We trick ourselves into thinking that we can achieve the success the world has promised us so much. Work hard, save up, get what’s yours, work the system to get as much as you need and you can, cause everyone’s doing it. It’s turning our eyes, from what captivates us: like your phone, instagram has so many pretty pictures, and facebook girl jump-roping with her dog is so fascinating, but turn your heard and face the reality, the real world, turn to Jesus who is the ultimate reality.

I think Michael Jackson had it right:

I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change, nana nanana.

Sorry I subjected you to that. But I practiced – I had to do it. Look at yourself in the mirror.

This past week’s Bible Guide Monday ended with the reflection, “Today, ask God to reveal some aspect of violence or injustice in your nation, your city, or your ethnicity that you participate in through your actions or thinking. Ask God for ideas on how to turn away from that and for the courage to do so.”

What injustice do you see?

What do you think is wrong with the world? What injustice do you see? Racism? In what ways have you contributed to racism? Or turned a blind eye to it or stayed quiet in the face of it? Or maybe it’s the disparity between the rich and the poor? How have you participated in economic injustice? Blame the big banks and excuse yourself as, I’m just trying to get what’s mine. Or degradation of our environment and endangered species? Recycling or using less energy only when it’s convenient for us. Or exploitation of human bodies through porn, “harmlessly” participating in an industry of billions of dollars that perpetuate dehumanization of human sexuality.

I’ve been so sad and angry at the violence of the world, especially guns. And I hope that we can make changes systematically to make our world a safer place. But also, I think we need to look into ourselves and ask, how have I harbored violence in my life, in my own heart? How do I perpetuate violence from one place to the next person? I’ve had to search myself and realize, that I’ve used violent words or attitudes. I get into fights with Eugene, metaphorically but with very much guns blazing. And even, I’ve talked to myself with anger and violence against myself!

The New Reality

Let us repent. If we’re resisting the empire, then what are we leaning into? We are leaning into the New Jerusalem. Turn to the New Jerusalem. And what is the New Jerusalem? It is the place that is the reign of God, the way of Jesus: The place where God and People Live Together.

Revelation 21:3 describes it like this:

“Behold, the dwelling of God is with people, God will dwell with them, and they will be God’s people, and God’s self will be with them”

A little more difficult to explain. Because you can’t always see it. The empire is easier to point out. It’s like, remember the movie the Matrix. They were living in this world that wasn’t real, only a figment of their imagination that they were programmed to live and see. But then, Neo, finds the real world. And couldn’t live out his real potential in the fake world. The New Jerusalem is the real world. Babylon is only a gross counterfeit of that reality.

We’ve been learning that Revelation uses a lot of the Old Testament symbolism and metaphors. John’s description of New Jerusalem is again, Similar to Ezekiel’s vision, of restored Jerusalem, reconstructed temple, where ritual purity welcomes people into the temple: everyone’s welcome.

But the difference is, for John, there is no temple, and everyone’s a priest. He says, “I saw no temple in it, for the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb is its temple” Temple language has been central to Old Testament imagination of the divine. But rather, John sees, “the entire people who resist empire as a nation of priests”

New Jerusalem is a place where we reign with God as heirs. Like The Chronicles of Narnia! Little children becoming kings and queens of the nation. Unveiling Empire described it like this:

“Empire’s economic exploitation is reversed in New Jerusalem. Rather than stealing wealth and resources from the world, people and nations will freely bring their glory to the Holy City. The traditional image of nations bringing tribute to Zion is democratized to express people’s universal sharing of God’s gifts with one another. The residents of New Jerusalem live in an economy of gift, not of wage slavery or measured rewards. Abundance provided by God overflows on all without hoarding or greed.”

That is the New Jerusalem. And the big news is, the New Jerusalem has already begun. Jesus has already begun doing this. John wouldn’t be inviting us if that were not the case: it’s already happening, we just need to catch up. It is easier to stay in the Empire. But he proclaims, he announces, you must see this new kingdom coming! See it and join it. It’s happening all around us and Jesus Christ has begun it! Like in the Matrix, Neo couldn’t have figured everything out if he didn’t have Trinity and Morpheus helping! We can’t do it by ourselves. We know that God has already begun it. It’s not on you. The New Jerusalem is here. The kingdom of God is near. The kingdom of God is among you. The kingdom of God is within you! John’s big statement is that the New Jerusalem is the new real reality, that Jesus has already unveiled this reality, we only need to open our eyes to it.

So what are we to do? Go resist, repent and come out. That’s a lot of things, and I know John in Revelation and I both invited you to do this. But the main new is, the good news isn’t, that you have so many things you need to do. The Good News isn’t: get busy, Jesus is coming. If I just gave you more things to do this week, well that wouldn’t be the gospel. Because grace. Whatever you do, go with grace. And don’t do it alone.

This is what I want to leave you with today:

  • The New Jerusalem is already here. Do you believe that? Can you see flag of the God’s reign planted here and there? Do you see it?
  • And our job is that, We only need to welcome and usher in this reality. Buy into it. Join in. Welcome to New Jerusalem.
  • And who rules the New Jerusalem? Jesus leads us in ruling this new reality. But, Jesus is a King unlike any other king, who lives with us and among us. That’s the kind of king we have.

Will you welcome this king? Will you welcome Jesus? On this Palm Sunday, we celebrate the welcoming of this king on a donkey by the same way the people did back then for Jesus, with palms. In the Roman culture, palms represented victory. They would wave palms around after war victory when welcoming the king and the soldiers back. It’s like the way we lay out red carpet for our highest honor nowadays, which I guess are mostly movie stars?

Will you pull out the Red carpet for one who does not adorn oneself in red carpet attire with gold and jewels, not in a limousine, but maybe in a tuk tuk, not on a war horse, but a donkey, not with fame and power, but with humility and sacrifice. Will you lay out your great welcome to Jesus in your life? Will you welcome Jesus?

God With Us: Expectation Vs. Reality

Good morning, I’m Lydia, the new pastor here at Reservoir. I moved from San Francisco a month ago and I expected some things about Boston. I expected it to be very cold. I brought out all my skiing gear, wool layers, heat tech tights. I was getting ready for a battle. Honestly, I was scared that the cold would make me depressed or cranky. I imagined scraping ice off of my car in a winter storm and, defeated by the snowy wind, just breaking down and crying as I shuddered in the freezing car, alone and cold in this new land.

I actually don’t even have a scraper for a car yet, cause I’m staying at a temporary place that has a garage. Turns out, every place has the heat on. As soon as I get inside, my wool socks are sweating, I’m taking off my 3 layers of jacket and sweaters immediately. A few weeks ago it was 78 degrees outside. And the people have been warm and loving. I haven’t experienced a bad storm. I know I know, still be prepared things could hit in April you all keep saying. But for the most part, God has been so gracious and gentle to us, more than we expected. God met us with far more mercy and grace.

This is what I want to share with you today. What God has in store for us can far exceed our expectations of God, beyond our imagination. Maybe even the opposite of what we expect. So what do we expect of God? How do we expect God to respond to us? And then, how does God answer our expectations?

So, Imagine God. What does God look like to you? Do you imagine an old white man with a beard sitting on the throne in the clouds?bearded God with laptopThat’s how the New Yorker illustrates God sometimes. The general society and our world has imagined God in a certain way. Or maybe you’ve been around the church a bit and you know that God is the Creator. Our Lord. Our King. Omnipotent all knowing God. Strong. Powerful.

The Old Testament describes God in various ways, and much of it was largely shaped by who the writers were and what they were experiencing. Whenever we read the Bible we have to recognize the time, context, the history, the culture. Because the Bible is a series of stories of a particular nation and a people, specifically the Israelites, and so they’re stories that are set in their specific experiences with the world and it shaped their relationship with God. Israel was, for most of Old Testament history, a small group of people wedged between many great nations, with their stories set in slavery in Egypt, and later taken over by the Assyrians and the Babylonians. Their theology was one that was set in their immediate needs, one of military threat and survival. This was the case for most of the books of the Prophets — Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel — with the word “prophecy” not only being a word that means foretelling what would happen in the future, but keenly seeing with a critical eye what is going on in the present and casting a new vision for the future of their nation and their people.

Here’s an example: Isaiah 9:6 became a popular Christmas song.

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders and he will be called… wonderful counselor, Mighty God, everlasting father, prince of peace.”

And while these words have been attributed to Jesus Christ, the words actually arose out of deep wounds of national and systemic oppression, in which they sought a future one who would save them from their surrounding nations. The translations of these words are slightly softer and even somewhat more beautiful in English, but the original words conjured up more militaristic names, like wise counsel, brave chief, limitless captain.

Prince of peace, sounds lovely in Handel’s Messiah, but the original language would have been more like principal, the highest rank of rule, one who would establish something more like Pax Romana — the peace of Rome — which wasn’t a campaign really about peace, but military occupation in surrounding nations that maintained the “prosperity” and stronghold of Rome. So the Israelites longed for and expected, not a baby in a manger — which is what we think of when we hear, “wonderful counselor, prince of peace” — but a mighty warrior that would conquer the  surrounding bigger stronger nations, smiting their enemies and finally bringing justice to the nation.

So, we’ve been reading through Revelation in this season of Lent our church calls 40 days of Faith. And Revelation uses many Old Testament symbols to tell a story about Jesus, and it conjures up this Old Testament language:

 Revelation 5:5-6a
Then one of the elders said to me, “Do not weep. See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered, so that he can open the scroll and its seven seals.”
Then I saw between the throne and the four living creatures and among the elders a Lamb standing as if it had been slaughtered…

I won’t get into the scrolls, seals, and the four creatures. These are all rich in symbolism we don’t have time to get into. So we’ll just focus on the Lion and the Lamb. “Look, the Lion of the tribe of Judah”. Lineage was important to them because for a King — for a national leader, the highest government official — lineage was the way you achieved this, to David’s throne, has won the victory (and they do mean military victory). But then this expectation of a Conquering Lion, is met, with, none other than… a Lamb. Not just any lamb but a slaughtered lamb, with cuts and blood.

Here’s why this matters. This is what we expect too — not just Israelites. The Bible is often a mirror to human natural tendencies. The reason why the omnipotent all knowing God is such a widely sought image of what kind of God we have is because that is what we think many of us want, what we think we need, what feels like is going to really fix things. We expect that of successful leaders. Our society values this. They’ve gotta be confident. Strong, and impressive, prestigious! And preferably tall, and male! The world wants someone with charisma oozing, who comes in with a decisive vision and takes charge. People are less impressed with someone who offers their defeated scars from their life history.

People do this on dates, right? Showing their best selves on first dates, mentioning the great achievement, school, job, cool hobbies, working out. I remember telling Eugene that I love cooking Korean food, and he was like what kind of Korean food, and I told him that I like to make Japchae. And I don’t know why I told him that cause Japchae is so much work, you have to cook and season each vegetable separately before you put it together with the noodle –it’s so much work! I think I’ve made that once, maybe twice for him. I don’t know maybe I wanted to share with him about my culture because he’s Chinese, but I should’ve picked something that I actually cook more often! No one brings up their broken dreams and slaughtered selves. That is not sexy. But then, isn’t it the moments when someone, not on the first date maybe, but in a safe, self-aware way disclose a hard time in their lives. Or when you feel connected enough to that person that you can share your darkest times to another person. And moments of vulnerable leaders, showing humility, kindness, are so rare that they go viral.

Interviews are like this too. Credentials. Experience. My interview process to Reservoir, I presented my years of experience in ministry as a youth pastor for 3 years, and 7 years as a pastor in San Francisco, Master’s in Divinity, my extravertedness, my charisma, I pulled out all the stops to show my best self ,of course. I don’t even wear make up usually, but I was wearing makeup in September when I came for the interview. Although, Steve and some of leadership were keen to press on my vulnerable Jesus moment experiences, and I did share times in my life where I was lost and dark that allowed me to turn to Jesus.

But anyway, I wanted to bring leadership and vision. And now I’m here. And you know what is actually one of the biggest needs of Reservoir that I’m filling? Sunday Morning Operations, the Welcome Team, the volunteers that welcome you and set up everything Sunday mornings. And you know what that entails? Pouring coffee. Setting up bagels. Washing the dishes. Picking up trash, taking out the trash, ordering the right size trash bags so that it doesn’t fall in when it gets filled up and drop in and the drinks and everything inside get on the trash bin, and you have to wash the bins. You know what I’m talking about. That’s ministry right there. And the things is, I think that’s like most things in life. You don’t need a hero, you need a servant. I know we as a church have great dreams of extending into the Cambridge neighborhood, to make an impact, and we need good teaching and training, and strategic planning, I know. But you know, weekly Sunday runs on John turning on the heat, Grant unlocking the door, Katherine tying up trash bags. Michelle covered in sweat and water from washing huge bins in a kitchenette.

What kind of perfect leader have you expected for our church, to take us to the next level? Or what kind of a leader do you think we need for our country? What kind of perfect partner have you wished and hoped for? What kind of God do you expect to show up in your life?

I’ll be honest. For me, I wanted, sometimes I still desire and long for a God who will just fix things. Sometimes I pray to God in a kind of angry protest — God, if you are so powerful, and strong, why can’t you fix this? Why do you let young black and brown bodies die so easily? Why is there child sex trafficking? Why do you allow the rich to flourish and the poor to be forgotten? What kind of a king sits there and does not bring down some good law of the land and make everything better? I want a Lion to swoop in, take charge and roar, take all the bad people out and protect the good ones. Instead, Jesus came and let evil kill him, didn’t fight back and forgave them. Was gentle and meak. Why?! Do you not see this fractured world Lord? Are we not your children that you would protect at any cost?

Upon seeing this fractured world, seeing God’s creation, God’s children suffering, God’s response was…. Jesus.

The Christian faith believes in a crucified God. A slaughtered lamb. It represents Jesus Christ, who was born as an illegitimate son. I mean we call it virgin birth with reverence now but that might not have been clear to Mary’s fiancé Joseph at the time. Technically, Jesus is not David’s heir, but only through the adoption of his step father, Joseph, did the lineage hold true. Jesus first days on this earth — they were homeless. Joseph was a carpenter, not a professor. They came from Nazareth, which apparently wasn’t exactly the Boston of their times. God decided to show up to reveal Godself to humankind as an ordinary, marginalized, illegitimate, homeless, bottom of the social ladder, as a helpless baby, to a not so impressive or prestigious family.

It’s a picture of God who didn’t swoop in as a knight in shining armor, but as a friend, as a teacher, as a healer, as one of us. Hebrew 4:15 says:

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses”

This is how God wanted to show up, saying —  this is who I am. The Bible had been expecting a God who would save them, and God’s final greatest revelation of who God is, was through Jesus.

We are not met with the Mighty God who conquers all, but Jesus. A person. A fully human (fully divine yes) son of man, a human being that could bleed. We cried and cried, the Israelites longed and hoped for a savior, and God said, here I am. Jesus showed up. Philippians 2:6 says, that Jesus came,

“who, though he was in the form of God did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taking form of a slave (and NOT A king! Like we expected! Like we needed!), being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself, and became obedient to the point of death–even death on a cross.”

Ain’t that interesting, that God didn’t arrive from the heavens in glory, but was born through a woman as a human being? Facing everything we faced, feeling, experiencing rejection, failure, injustice, death.

You see what Jesus did on the cross is a mystery. He died and 3 days later he did resurrect in glory and defeat human’s greatest enemy, death. But why this way? Why did God have to go through such lengths instead of waving around the banner of God’s great power and reign? Because God is not only power, but love, which is more powerful than military or coercion. God decided to use the power, not of control, but of love. Because God’s plan this whole time wasn’t let me fix you. I know Christians use such language — God saves — but what does the word mean? It doesn’t mean let me save you from all the sins you’ve committed cause you’re bad. It means let me save you from the lie that you are bad, because I created you in our image, and you were good from the beginning. It means, I love you, and I’m with you. No matter where you’ve been, what you’ve done, or what’s been done to you, I love you and I’m with you.

My need for a fixer God — is a only a shadow of who God really is. My expectation of a God who rights all wrongs isn’t big enough to see that God is doing something much more greater than righting wrongs. God doesn’t wanna fix me, God grieves with me, is angry on my behalf, is lamenting the evil done to me, and sits next to me and says, that shouldn’t have been so. God loves me.

We know this by relationships we’ve been in, that when someone is really going through suffering, they don’t need your answer to it or reasoning. You know when you’re trying to tell a story and they interrupt saying what you should’ve done, what you could’ve done, what you should do next time. Most of the times it’s not really that helpful. Especially with the really hard stuff –you just need someone to cry with. Someone to say, I feel your pain, man. I hear your struggles. In fact the Bible doesn’t even give a reason for why there was a snake in the garden. Why evil exists. At the end of all trials and suffering in the book of Job, God never gives him an answer for why he had to endure it all, but only lets him know that God created him and knows him. God doesn’t explain the evil, but says, I know you and I am your God.

You know, I don’t know why hard things happen in life. I wish I knew the answer why. But I don’t. Sometimes life seems so unfair and filled with questions of why Lord, how long oh Lord. And in those dark places, Jesus says, I’m here, I’m with you.

Where are you in your life right now? Have you been rejected? From your colleagues or once a loved one? Have you felt emptied out? Exhausted, like you’ve given everything you got, and nothing’s left? Have you experienced an unjust world that leaves you hanging high and dry? Have you been misunderstood, ignored, discredited or invisible?

Do you know that God is not disappointed in you? God’s not mad at you! God’s not sitting there wondering, oh when is he going to get his act together? When is she going to stop asking me for things? In all of life experiences. God see you, God knows you, and your suffering, and sometimes your wrongdoings, and moves towards you with, compassion, self-giving, self-empyting love? We do not have a high priest who sits on a throne, but comes down to the tear soaked pillows of our dark nights and says, I see you. I see you and I love you. I’m with you.

Program Notes

  1. Don’t make assumptions about who God is, but be curious, inquire, and get to know Jesus. What’s God like?God is like Jesus.

    That’s the loudest thing God has to say to us. So, get to know who Jesus was. What he did, said, what he was like. That’s who God is.

  2. Secondly, fixing is not God’s primary goal.God says: I don’t need to fix you, I love you.

    And this is the same for the people around us.

    At the church I used to work at, we had a County Jail ministry where we would go to the Jail weekly and hold worship services. We’d share a word with them, sing with them, pray for them. And all of them, there’s not a thing we could do to change their situation, or help their lawyers, or change their sentencing. If we did anything, it was because we were with them, and knew them, heard their stories and love them, that we would have any impact on criminal justice reform in a more systematic way. But foremost was to know their struggles and be with them. And sometimes I would feel bad for not being able to do more. But to just be a friend, be a community, and sharing prayer and laughing together was what they enjoyed with us. I think sometimes it’s hard for us to serve others because it’s easier to want to solve a problem rather than journey through their struggles. But that’s usually what’s more effective at the end of the day, move into their lives and resonate with the other. Anything else than that is just colonization or co-opting the situation. There’s a book called Toxic Charity and it talks about the wayschurches sometimes provide charity that is unhelpful. It actually talks about how charity giveaways often are wasteful or ineffective, and rather empowering local workers and not creating outside dependency has more impact. Top down or outside giveaways never understand the complexity of the local context of its culture and the people. We know this to be true now in non-profit work and missions, and it absolutely makes sense that instead of stepping into another person’s situation with an agenda, moving into their lives and being with them through their struggles has more lasting and transformative impact.

  3. God’s like a wise and savvy non-profit organization, that came to us, to be one of us, as human, to be among us, Immanuel is what that means:God is with us. So our calling is to be just that: be with people.

    Do you believe that God is with you? Who can you be with this week? Without your own agenda or even ideas on how you could better them. But with simple love and care?

May the slaughtered lamb open up our hearts, unleashing the prophetic vision and voice to be a people that sits with the brokenhearted, feed the hungry, clothes the poor, that is with the people in need and with one another. May God be with us as we do so.