Breaking Code and Asking for Help

Good Morning!  What a joy and honor it is to be here with you, together this morning. I’m Ivy and with nervous delight I’m excited to share some thoughts with you this morning, around this series that we are in right now, called Prophetic Living.

I was talking with one of my kids about this idea of prophetic living this week— what does prophetic living actually mean?  It was a conversation more for me than a quiz to my child! And some point in our conversation, I rolled prophetic living back a bit to focus on what a prophet is. What can we notice about people we regard as prophets?  Their characteristics? What they did? And my child said, “Oh yah, prophets are people who light things on fire and then die.”

I laughed and thought about the truth and accuracy in that statement.

And the story of perhaps the craziest of prophets, Ezekiel, came to mind. One of the many odd and strange things he did was when he used a sword to shave off his beard, dividing his hairs into thirds. He set one third on fire. He scattered another third around the city and stabbed it with his sword. He threw the remaining third into the wind. And then Ezekiel took the few hairs he saved and sewed them into his clothing—burning some of those hairs too—and a fire will spread to all of Israel. (Ezekiel 5).

This was a wild, ridiculous move of Ezekiel. Ezekiel was trained in the Jewish priesthood and Jewish priests were commanded by God not to shave their heads, as the pagan priests did.  And so for Ezekiel this was not only a bold, counter-cultural move, but one that symbolized the truth of how God would move—how he was going to preserve part of Israel as his chosen people.

I just think—wow! Prophetic living, there you go. And I look out at all of you guys with beards and I think—I don’t know? Who’s to say that picture of prophetic living is completely off the table?  Maybe on your way home today, you should stop and pick up a sword somewhere!

Really though, Ezekiel’s crazy move aside, I think there is something to this sentiment of prophetic living—being a way of living that sets things ablaze, that may cause a combustion of our hearts and our lives, in a way that makes way for new miracles of rebirth and of new creation that God is doing right in front of us?  And how do we get to be a part of that?  How do we get to tap into what God is doing here and now, and step out with imagination, with action, embodying a new reality for ourselves and the people around us and for the next generation?

I’ve been a part of an experience here in our community, just as of late called Unpack. It’s a place created for people who have been particularly hurt and wounded by the church and who are seeking a spot of safety to let these truths hit the air.  We spent 6 weeks doing just that—letting the  truth of pain and the truth of one’s story, full of emotions and doubt, hit the air in the hopes that the power that hurt had would be released in that holy space of speaking truth with others . The only agenda we had was to not have an agenda—to create safe space without judgement, without a need to FIX or resolve, or to rescue. And the last week we all engaged in a burning ceremony.

I invited everyone to call out and write down the lies that had woven into their stories—about who they should be, or who God should be to them… And then also asked everyone to call out and write down a hope, a value—something they still believed could be true, even if they couldn’t see it as a present reality, but could name it as something they didn’t want to let go of or  sacrifice as they moved forward to the days to come.

And then we burned it all.

And I thought, my gosh, no one is shaving their beards over here, but these people are fearless truth-tellers (that calls out lies), and fearless hopers, calling out a reality that might not be present, but still dreaming for better—and is this not prophetic voice? Prophetic living in the making.

This voice is within all of us—and it comes from within the landscape of following Jesus, to believe that the good things we know of him – can be true, clung to and realized in our day. 

Prophetic living requires us to get to who we are, what we hold dear, what we care about. This directs how we move in the world, with passion and meaning. It requires us to start with this question like the one we posed at the top of the service: “what does a good day look like for you?” Because it teases out powerful information of what we value and what we don’t want to sacrifice in our lives.  It gets to the reasons that you are alive—why you stay in this life! And it sparks—sets ablaze—a courage in us that comes from that understanding of ourselves and God, to see this precious, unique combo as something that has been entrusted to us — who we are and who God truly is, to carry out prophetically.

Undoubtedly this prophetic living takes this kind of knowing and imagination and calls us to break code from our usual rhythms and patterns — to press against dominant culture and power — and calls us into places unknown, where comfort isn’t on the table, but wild, wacky words like “justice” or “peace” or “HELP” are.

To live prophetically, is to be a good, life-giving, disruptive force in the world around us, and this, my friends, will require us to call out this most prophetic word, “help” again and again along the way.

I want to explore this word “help” today in a way that empowers us to not lay us victims to the reality of the world around us, and empowers us to make a different way — to live more “good days” with our hearts and hopes intact, to an end that draws us deeper into the love and wisdom of God.

Stranded By The Side of the Road

I’ve been thinking a lot of what people are known for, not just remembered for after death, but what they might be known for now, while they are living.  I think of friends of mine who are currently known as authors, publishing their first books! I think of a friend who is known as CEO of a non-profit organization and who uses this platform to attend to the most marginalized in our city; another friend of mine who is known as a Dean of Justice, Equity and Transformation at a local college; other people in my life who are known to light any room on fire with hilarity and wit; and others known for the seering, KIND, attention that they give to anyone who is in front of them, strangers and friends alike.

I’m proud to say, that among some friends and family I am known for running my car’s gas tank to empty  as often as possible and gloat in the triumph of coming out victorious all of the time!image of two empty gas tank meters. Text: There are two types of people in the world. Left: We'll be fine. Right: We're almost out of gas."

That’s me on the left — “we are totally fine.” Actually I still think looking at this, why is this even an image, there’s easily ¼ of a tank of gas left—that’s not cause for alarm! Wait at least til the indicator is below the E!

But anyway I’ve had this life-long record of never running out of gas.

Until of course, I did.

This December, on a bitter, cold Sunday morning, I was driving here (to Reservoir) on 93 North.  I knew that at some point the day before my gas tank light had come on. But that means nothing to me! It doesn’t scare me. And I was headed in early because we did this fun, interactive service called “Dreams & Nightmares” and I was “on” for leading it that morning. So you know, there were a few things on the line.

It’s weird when you run out of gas. I totally thought the car would herk and jerk – and sputter and make a loud commotion.  Mine didn’t, cruising along the highway, and it just stopped making any sounds, and I coasted in complete silence, slowly decreasing in speed, and just sort of landed on the little median of an exit off-ramp.

I put my hazards on.

And sat there.

And I called Triple AAA.

And I waited alone, for help.

It’s interesting because we are all born into this world connected to another human being.  Literally — through an umbilical cord that provides us access to all the nutrients and sustenance we need for life to us.  And all of us usually within a matter of moments have that umbilical cord cut. And so begins at this moment our journey of living and dying and also for crying out for help! A baby’s first cry is essentially a cry for “HELP!” — loud, declaring need for connection, comfort, and sustenance. As we grow and mature, our explicit cries for “help” likely reach a heightened clarity in our toddler years — “Can you help me tie my shoes,” “can you help me get a drink,” “can you help me jump,” “can you help me go to sleep.” And from there most of us take a deep nose-dive into less clear exclamations of “help” — more veiled in outbursts of emotion — anger! frustration, blame, defensiveness, but without that distinct word, “help.”

Or it’s just complete silence — lives that have no blinking hazard lights of “help.” Lives look put together, comfortable, serene, in control, sanitized at all the corners.

I think about the mothers I named above (by the way, I’m using the word “mother”, very broadly—beyond the traditional definition and beyond gender). So despite all the reasons by which they are known in the wider world, they are known to me as the wisest, most prophetic human beings because they consistently ask for “help” early on, at the faintest inkling of a need, and they ask often – without an attachment of shame or guilt or self-consciousness weighing them down. And there is a vitality in their lives that I notice in the midst of ALL that they hold.  And I can only think that the request for “help”- is what gives them this assurance, this connection to perhaps the most life sustaining nutrients they need — the belief that they are not alone, that there is always someone on the other side of their request for “help.”

Unlike these heroic mothers, “Help” has been one of the most under-utilized words in my vocabulary.  I have not historically used it often or early. In fact, in times that I have practiced using it— it often came out sideways, aimed at someone as a scornful weapon, or just as straight-up  judgement. Coming home from a busy day, walking into the house and seeing that it’s a disaster, I immediately feel tiredness, frustration, underappreciation, and I can’t name those things or ask for help in them. But I can act out of that unreleased need and say,  “Scott, can’t you get the kids to help me!” Help comes out sideways.

And I think, oh, I’m relieved to see that their are stories in scriptures that reflect a similar dynamic of this word “Help.” So let’s look at the story of Mary and Martha on your program in Luke:

Luke 10:38-42 (NRSV)
38 Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. 39 She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying.

40 But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; 42 there is need of only one thing.  Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”

There’s so much written, so many thoughts about this  poignant scripture. Often this story is used to compare and issue a value statement about someone who is contemplative or more active.  To declare that Mary gets it “right”, she’s sitting with Jesus, the only place her attention should be drawn. And Martha, oh sweet Martha, she gets it “wrong” — she gives her attention to everything else in the space and misses the “better part” — Jesus — right there in her midst.

I want to give some credence to this take because it does seem wise. I think we can all be helped by slowing down and taking notice of Jesus in our midst.  And also maybe there’s some reality that a lot of our lives require some action and stillness, and attention to have that more in balance is also beneficial.

I do wonder though if it helps to take in some of the cultural context of the setting, to see some different angles of this multi-faceted scripture: We see Mary sitting at Jesus’ feet. It’s striking given the tenor that we are picking up — that there’s a great hustle and bustle in that house — she’s just sitting and listening.  And yet it would really be striking, if we were a first-century reader, or even striking today to a reader in Turkey or the Middle East and many other parts of this world, because Mary is within the male part of the house. Rather than being kept in the back rooms with the other women. (N.T. Wright). If we were this reader, we would understand that Mary is breaking code! Cutting clean across one of the most basic social conventions — pressing against the dominant culture.

And if we read even more deeply, Mary’s “sitting at Jesus’ feet” in this context doesn’t just mean that she’s taking in all of Jesus wisdom and learning for the purpose of informing her own mind and heart, but she’s taking in all of this learning to move out into the world in order to be a teacher, a rabbi herself! (NT Wright).

And that lens, this simple moment of her being kind of a contemplative personality, is actually revealing that Mary is a major force — a good, life-giving disruptive force in this house, a prophetess in the making.

And witnessing that is undoing Martha.

For Martha this society she lives within, regardless of it’s inequity, its oppression, has conditioned her to hinge her value and self worth in how well she pleases others — what she can provide them, how swiftly and how well she cares for them — and in the constructs of a powerless system for women, I think Martha actually has used this role of hers to translate to some sense of power,a control she can have of her value and self worth.

And so in watching Mary break mold of this, I bet that Martha’s is in utter disbelief and outrage. How could this be? WHAT is her sister doing? She’s breaking all the rules. It’s one thing to listen to Jesus; probably Martha could have picked up bits and pieces of what he was saying as she walked in and out of the room. But to sit and listen and learn as a way to imagine for a new way ahead, to imagine a different path in your life, to be a force, as yourself, just as you are in the world with Jesus — this she has no gridwork for and she feels threatened.

It can be scary and maddening. When someone else reaches for more – when you don’t know how to.  and specifically when you think you are doing the very right thing.  Maybe, even when you think you are  getting GOD right.

The Code-Breaking Side Pony-tail

When I was 9, I was getting ready to go to church one Sunday morning, and a friend’s little sister had slept over and wanted me to do her hair for church.  So, I made a simple braid down the back of her hair,  as one does, for church. And she looked in the mirror and immediately took it out and made her own sassy, side-pony tail.  Hark! I was like, “What are you doing?” “This is not acceptable! You can not go to church looking like that!”

I remember the indignation I felt,  at this move! And I was ferocious at myself, “why had I never thought to wear a side pony-tail?”, “why hadn’t I ever asked why a braid was supposedly better?”  And this little 6 year old trollop just waltzes out of the house without a care, like this option was always on the table.

HERESY!

I was so uncomfortable with this break in code.

When people break code around us it can stir in us a lot of fear. A lot of discomfort.

Yet pursuing the reasons that we want to follow Jesus, the reasons we are alive, means saying “yes” to discomfort. Jesus, I think, wants Martha and us to notice this!

And yet it seems that we are more and more,  culturally-conditioned to fear discomfort.

Who knows what Mary’s conversation with Jesus was as she sat at his feet. Maybe he said to her “Mary, what’s a good day look like to you?  What are the reasons you want to do this life?” Let’s talk about that, let’s see where that can go.

I think Mary did choose the “better part.” Because I can believe that her response to Jesus was “Lord, you say all these amazing things – of what days could feel and be like with you, but help me — I don’t know how to do this, I don’t know how to step out of my present reality, these social constructs.

My guess is that perhaps Mary was just as uncomfortable and fearful as Martha.

The “better part,” this little word, “help,”  allows for there to be connection — an umbilical cord, even in discomfort, connection with Jesus, where I think Mary can imagine for a life that wasn’t even on the table, side-pony tails and all, and what emerged, what was created, what was birthed as she sat with Jesus, was all new and all broke code.

Martha didn’t know how to have a difficult conversation with Jesus or Mary. Perhaps it felt like too much of a confrontation of where her self-worth and value was hanging, and she didn’t know how to have honest self-reflection, “what could these live emotions indicate to me? And what do I do with them?” She didn’t know how to enact this better part, early on in her discomfort – this word “help.”

It’s hard and unsettling to do so!  It’s easier sometimes to stay within the framework  you’ve known, even though you know you might be miserable, easier to play the part, to  keep the scene clean, the counters spotless, the guests fed, the dishes stacked — to maintain the status quo, to engage in a life that feels sanitized, a faith that feels  sanitized, because this is easier.

God the Helper, Not a Fixer

One of my own contemporary heroes of life and faith, and a person I like to call friend,  Rachel Held Evans said:

Some like to say that the bravest thing Christians can do is defend their faith, to stand their ground and refuse to change.

But it’s easier to defend our faith than to subject it to scrutiny.
It’s easier to dig in our heels than to go exploring.
It’s easier to regurgitate answers than to ask good questions.
It’s easier cling to our beliefs than to hold them with open hands.
It’s easier to assume we’re always right than to acknowledge we may be wrong.

It’s easier for Martha in her outrage to demand Jesus to fix Mary: “Jesus fix her, and get her to help me! Get her back in line!”

Fixing, is neater. Help is messy.

Martha feels threatened and it’s easier to assert a sense of power and control through anger and pointing fingers than to stop and still ourselves, and bend to the love of God, that might just be in the Living room with us.

Jesus loves and cares for  our whole well-being, all of our life — not just “fixing a part of us,” He he cares about helping us heal all of who we are — our emotions, our frailties, our mis-steps and our good steps! Mending us together, from our insides, so our work, and roles and faith can be inter-connected.  God wants us to be saved, because saved means inter-connected.

If we see God as ultimate “Fixer”, than there’s no margin, no release for us when we mess up the prescribed plan.   And we enter and create systems where the only:

Fix for fear is blame.

The fix for weakness is shame.  

The fix for anger is judgement.

The fix for discomfort is isolation.

The fix for a life seeking perfection is utter torment.

“Help” – is the better part, because it brings all of the parts of ourselves that we section off, that we want to hide out into the light and back together.

Jesus cares for Martha — her anxiety, her distraction — he wants to hear about it, what’s going on for her!  He wants her to see him as ‘helper’.

Walter Brueggemann says, “the God at work in our life will determine the shape and quality and risk at the center of our existence.”

It matters to Jesus who Martha sees him to be.

Stranded, Continued

You might know from stories I’ve told before that I hate being cold, like more than anything.  

I feel angry when I’m cold; I take it personally when it’s below 50 degrees (so today, on mother’s day, I’m suspending my anger as it’s in the mid 40’s!!).

And so, I find it interesting that  for the first few minutes of waiting on the side of the road,  in my gas-less car in December I didn’t really notice the cold…

And I kind of went into action, as I was waiting.

I called Cate who was waiting for me here at the church, to let her know I’d be late.

I called triple A.

I called my friend Miriam, who was also headed in early to church, to see if she was ahead or behind me..

I sent a couple of emails from my phone.

I busied myself.

And then I noticed the cold creeping in the discomfort, it was 23 degrees.  I found some crusty socks in the back of the car and put them on.

And I started in that discomfort to feel some things!  Discomfort can talk to us, it can call to the surface feelings we’ve suspended or become numb to.

I started to ask questions of myself, and kind of put myself on the hook.

Mostly circumstantial questions to start: “when did that fuel light go on – was it yesterday or the day before?”

“Why was it that I didn’t stop for gas?”

And then this led to a little deeper line of questioning…

“Does this tell me something bigger about my life? “

“Where’s the margin in my life?”

And I sat there and reviewed my week.

Reviewed the past month.

And what those days had looked like.

And then I noticed this rising indignation inside of myself for my own line of questioning, and yelled out, “Well this is just how life is!! I’m not going to stop being a mom to 3 active children, I’m not going to stop being a pastor, I love this job and this role, I’m not going to stop being a present, loving, kind, amazing, always grace-filled wife!!”

And I kind of worked myself up!

I felt like Jesus said, “Whoa whoa, whoa – why are you so defensive? I’m not asking you to change who you are OR sacrifice what you love!”

I’m just checking in to see if you need “help.”

Aaah, the better part: to ask God for “help”  had not yet been on my mind, even stranded on the side of the road.

WHY IS it so hard for to ask for help?
For me it feels like I’m giving up.  And giving up a lot!!!

I hinge my worth on what I can handle, how much I can handle, my capacity..  

Then I feel like I’m throwing all I’ve worked for out the window.

It feels like defeat, admitting my limitations.

And that is uncomfortable..

And I don’t like it.

I’m sympathetic to Martha — she didn’t know how to unhinge herself from the system, as messed up as it was, that had given her a sense of worth. Me too.  

To surrender to Jesus’ love is not giving up;it’s a place for holy release, admitting we are human.  And that’s what Jesus, called us to be after all. 

My friend, Rachel Held Evans, says that “The very condition of humanity is to be wrong about God. The moment we figure God out, God ceases to be God. Maybe it’s time to embrace the mystery and let ourselves off the hook.”. (RHE)

Rachel Held Evans: Prophet

Rachel Held Evans – wrote four books in the last 10 years. And she broke code all over the place!  She wrote and spoke about the reality of being human. She called truth to power, of systems and people who couldn’t hold humanity with care!     She called out truth for people, particularly the marginalized and oppressed who found themselves in the trenches of Christianity where light and hope were covered by “a mask of pretending” and “exclusion.” She created space, just space human space  where people with shame, and grief and fear and doubts and questions, too heavy to bear anymore, could unload and release, and call out for “help!”

“Rachel Held Evan’s congregation was online, and her Twitter feed became her church, a gathering place for thousands” (Elizabeth Dias, New York Times)

Her platform as a writer, and prophetic voice was undoubtedly a help to people to rebuild a sense of self, and believe in God, in new ways.  But it was her humanness that paved the way for so many of us to find our own way again.

She died a week ago at the age of 37. And in her short life she set more things on fire than even my 10 year old son could hope to: 1,000’s of hearts that had been covered in stone, and yet she rolled those stones away, sending prophetic words into the dark — “you are ALL welcome at the table,” “I see you,” “you are not alone” — birthing and fiercely protecting new life in those hearts as only a mother who has cried out “help,” many a times herself can.

So, I guess my child was right, prophets do set things on fire and then die. I added this scripture, in John, to the program today because it’s the continuation of Martha’s story. I want to see where this outraged, mess of a beautiful woman ends up with Jesus, and because I needed it for my own discomfort and pain I feel in the loss of Rachel Held Evans.

John 11:17-42 (NRSV)

Setting here is where Martha and Mary have called out for “help” to Jesus for their sick brother Lazarus.

17 When Jesus arrived, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four days. 18 19 and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them about their brother. 20 When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, while Mary stayed at home. 21 Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him.” 23 Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” 24 Martha said to him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” 25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, 26 and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” 27 She said to him, “Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one coming into the world.”

32 When Mary came where Jesus was and saw him, she knelt at his feet and said to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” (same response as Martha’s).  33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved. 34 He said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” 35 Jesus began to weep. 36 So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” 37 But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”

38 Then Jesus, again greatly disturbed, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone was lying against it. 39 Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, said to him, “Lord, already there is a stench because he has been dead four days.” 40 Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?” 41 So they took away the stone. And Jesus looked upward and said, “Father, I thank you for having heard me. 42 I knew that you always hear me..”

So what happens here?  Martha breaks code this time! She runs out of a house full of mourners, she leaves her duties and breaks the strict Jewish law, which would have been to stay within the house for 7 days, sitting barefoot on the floor.

We see her be sad and angry and fiery with Jesus!

We see her be fully Martha and we see her be fully human!
“What are you doing?! Where have you been?! Lazarus would have been alive if you had gotten here earlier!” “Don’t take away that stone!  There will be such a stench — he’s been dead four days!”

She lays it all out, doesn’t hold back with Jesus! This is what Jesus wants! When we are honest with ourselves, and with our emotions, we are close to Jesus who doesn’t say, “Clean yourself up a bit,” “or where have you been?”  but who says, “I am the resurrection and the life.” You don’t have to wait for the End! I am, right now, resurrection and life to you, Martha.  

Jesus helps us. He enables our well-being to live and thrive and flourish.  And it starts with this messy picture of us with our hazard lights on in the cold, pulled over on the side of the road in surrender. And it starts with us running to him, with all of our raw emotions  gritty, messy, tear-stained cheeks — out of breath and bruises of faith, saying, “Help me, Jesus. Help!!”

And this is true, whether in our kitchens in the midst of doing dishes, or unto death.

And in that connection to Jesus, life to us, who is also tear-stained and flush with anger, meeting us, with us. He, himself who would soon cry out in anguish to God, unto his own death on the cross, “HELP.”

“Help”  the release valve of our humanness — into the hands and heart of love, where Jesus hands us the power and the value and the self-worth we’ve been so afraid we are losing.

Jesus says, “roll back the stone.” I like to think he invited Martha to be a part of that — engaging her active spirit, her want of “doing,” and in the process of being fully invited as her true self, with worth and strength, she rolls back the burden of shame and guilt and blame that has rolled over her own heart like a heavy stone.

And rather than encountering a dark tomb – full of stench and death..Martha encounters “the Spiritlike a womb, from which she is born again” (RHE).

She encounters life.

So may we die to the lies about who we should be or who God should be, or when we should ask for help, or shouldn’t ask for help. And may we be born again and again and again and again, as we evolve along this road of brave faith and surrender, discovering life at every turn, confirming the greatest belief that we are not alone.  

Rachel Held Evans said “We live inside an unfinished story.” While we have today, we have time to imagine and act and we can hold space for those to cry for “help” and meet them, be God’s hand who reaches out, without prescriptions or plans to fix, but postures to love and to listen.  This encourages the prophetic voice in all of us—to break code and say “help” often and early.

  • This is lie breaking
  • This is culture bending
  • This is prophetic living.

May it be so.

A Tip for Whole Life Flourishing:

When you feel guilt, shame, defensiveness or fear weighing you down, greet these as indicators of a need for help and say “help”, outloud as a release valve.

Try this as a first step.

And then maybe send someone a text.

Or join a community group here.

Or email a pastor on staff.

Or reach out to a professional therapist.

Spiritual Practice of the Week:

Practice calling out for help this week as a prayer to God.  Practice this prayer as frequently as you notice the need and as confidently as you can. Consider the underlying need of this prayer and what care would look like to touch it.

Prayer:

In the legacy of Rachel and all the prophets and prophetesses that have come before us – could we, as Rachel prayed, remember our

God who mourned and Jesus who wept, help us to reimagine our communities of faith, our neighborhoods and ourselves to become places and people where everyone is safe – but no one is comfortable.  Help us to hold one another to this truth. Help us to create sanctuary. Be with us in this work through all seasons, those of joy, of mourning, of rage and everything in between.

-Rachel Held Evans

What Do You Think?

I’m so glad that Kaiti and Steph were able to share this morning about Soccer Nights. I’ve got to say that Soccer Nights is one of my all time favorite weeks of the year, and for a lot of the reasons we’ve been exploring in this series of love. It’s such a picture of God’s love, which we will get to a lot more of in just  a minute!

But first I’d love to welcome you here in this space right now.

I’m not sure how your weeks have gone.

I’m not sure if they were pleasing, or nondescript, or particularly bad.  Or a mixture of all.

I’m not sure how much you want to release, or let go of as you sit here today, or how important it is for you to hold tightly to things that you are cherishing, or that you need.

And I’m not sure why you are here.

Maybe for some of you, you can quickly detail the reasons you are here: the music, the kids’ team, the prayer, community, the amazing sermons ;).

Maybe you are here out of obligation, whether internal or external

Maybe you are here and you don’t know why—God, and faith, have been lost on you for quite some time.

Maybe you are here because there are bagels and coffee. Not a bad angle.

Maybe you are here because the love of God is felt and is easy here, and you need easy, because you are tired.

Maybe the best you can say this is morning is— “ya know what? I’m just here, let’s just leave it at that.”

And in all that I want to welcome you here and now.

We are in our 7th week of our sermon series, called Training in the Studio of Love. Next week is our last week in this series, and our pastor, Lydia, will be up to round out the series! Our series was inspired by Brian McLaren, a long-time friend and writer and pastor. He has encouraged churches to take a fresh look at perhaps one of the greatest “calls” for us—not only as followers of Jesus, but a call for us as human beings who walk this earth—the call to love.  The fact that he suggests we might need a curriculum of sorts for “love”—might in some ways feel a little elemental and also pretty redundant, right?  “Yes – yes – life of love, posture of love, lead with love, etc… I get it, of course.” But I think he’s hitting at something in there, and it’s also something Jesus kept showing us, too, throughout scripture. We can read that he talked and taught a LOT about love— so many of his stories and parables, and also his endless actions, demonstrated this very powerful thru-line of love. He loves the eunuch, the prostitute, the woman at the well, Zaccheus, to love himself, his prosecutors, the vile, the dirty, the cast away,  right up until death.

Jesus bombards us with these pictures of love. And in some ways, I can think that we are meant to be taught something new in each setting—some new content. This is likely true to some extent, but I also think that he’s giving us that abundant picture to remind us, to invite us to see just how many opportunities we have to love in our days—reminding us that we have all the content we need, as many stories, and as much parable potential through people and earth, here and now, (as Jesus did), to love.

And yet we have the tendency to compress the greatest commandment to, “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. AND love your neighbor as yourself,”  down into bite-sized chunks. We are inclined to gather the content in our life that we deem “loveable” and strain out the that which we don’t.

I think I’ve done this unconsciously as much as consciously, as I’ve run up against rifts and division and hate that vie for my attention and heart, as much as our opportunities to love.  As I do this, I succeed in augmenting where I see the image of God.

No longer is the image of God as readily found in my neighbor for example.  The greatest commandment is now sliced up into short phrases. I “love my neighbor” over here in my week, I make time to love myself on this day of the week,  “I love God” during this slice of my day—and it’s no longer this continuous, flowing expression of my life. The commandment has become disjointed in my lived experience.

This is why McLaren and Jesus’ age old call to love is not redundant. It is not elemental, but crucial and necessary. It is what our last few weeks of this series has hoped to call out, that to fully experience the love of God is to push against our tendency to disconnect the love of God from our lived life, and instead be reminded that love of neighbor, selfless love of self, and love of our environment are all one, and are the means to this great love. It’s a whole package deal—one that Jesus calls LIFE and perhaps what he meant when he said,
I have come for you to have (and live), life – and have it abundantly”.  Connected— to see the full stretch of my love—all throughout your lived life.

The challenge in this—and this is what I want to spend more time talking about today—is that we have to keep thinking about why this matters—why love matters. Love can become a word that loses it’s depth—it can fall into disrepair in our human landscape. We need to be deeply convinced at a feet-to-the-ground, face-to-face-neighbor level that love can be readily found in all of our spaces and offer healing and transformation to ourselves and the world.

Relying On Another’s Voice

Thinking is what will  keep the love of Jesus expanding beyond the constraints of Sanctuary walls and church systems—preachers mouths and worship sets—and expanding into your much-lived places and much-filled heart, and beyond.

If we can enter into this studio of love (which I think is actually our lives), and train there, then I think we can see this as spiritual formation and growth in its purest and loveliest sense—not for our own measure, but for the measure and reforming and reshaping of the world and people around us in love.  Aided by our great Christian tradition with prayer, scripture and spiritual practices, but powered by the life we actually live and experience, here and now.

A couple of years ago I made a tiny tweak in my life for a stretch of time.  I stopped listening to podcasts and to some extent stopped reading any books/essays/articles/etc.

I was listening to a variety of podcasts on my way to work —mostly spiritual/faith-centric ones that offered a bunch of unique commentary/thoughts and viewpoints, of course, on a myriad of scripture and theology, and they were mostly great! But I found myself beginning to lean on these voices as a primary means of acquiring knowledge.  *(Now there’s many, many ways I think it’s super helpful to integrate/compliment our own thinking with others viewpoints—it’s how we discover our blind-spots and expose our biases).  But as a means to knowledge this road I was on started to X-out my own voice, my own thinking, and X-out the value of my lived experiences in life as content and knowledge.

I’d find myself in conversations or meetings saying, “well I heard so-and-so say this pithy thing on a podcast a few days ago.” Or I read this essay on “xyz theology.” And I couldn’t follow up with “and those thoughts relate to my life, in this way” or “that perspective makes me think about my neighborhood in this way.” So my words were more “statements of thoughts” just deposited in a space (but not really alive).

The detriment for me was that I had muted the convivial listening with the world and with Jesus, who I believe is always asking “Well Ivy, what do you think about that?” “why does it matter”?  “Who does it affect?” And this is detrimental because “What do you think?” is an intimate question of Jesus to us, and one that is the authentic means to not only knowledge but to love.

And so I started reading poetry almost exclusively.

And after a stretch of time I bounced back, “I read again!” And I had a more refined picture that everyone and everything I encounter on this Earth is an opportunity to love God more.  And that what I think of all these experiences only electrifies that love of God.

I was reminded of that season recently as I was riding in a car with a long-time friend over Christmas this year. She was talking about her own journey in her faith community, excited about the idea of forming a “women’s ministry” – and hanging in the air around the conversation was perhaps the (unspoken), larger question of just what a woman’s role in the church should be. Her faith community currently has no women on the Board, as deacons or as preachers. And it was interesting because, our conversation bounced from what her white, male Pastor thought about women in leadership, to the reality that there are a lack of women mentor’s in the community, to the seminary books that she was hearkening back to, that offered her interesting thoughts and truths to wade into her internal process of just what is a woman’s rightful place.

It was clear to me that the question, “What do you think?”, was not a comfortable question. External knowledge found in books and other’s voices was more credible.

I wish I had asked her, “What is your lived experience as a woman?”  What do you notice about women who are not given platforms for their voices to be heard?  Why do you think there might not be women mentor’s in your community? What do women around you who are pastors (like me in this car, with you right. now.) think? What have they experienced? How have they wrestled with what scripture says?

“What do you think?” is a bold and direct question—slices right to the heart, if we let it, as much as the head.  And if we frame it as a question that helps us lift our head and look around and engage with the life next to us, it becomes not a question that rests on a separate doctrine or theology (where we might think only Jesus is found), but becomes a generative question that is born and explored from exactly where you stand – and where lo’ and behold Jesus is too.

Conceptual and Relational Belief

The interesting thing about what we think – is that it can quickly be tied into systems of belief… that can take on a life of it’s own – as well as take on our thoughts as no longer produced out of lived experience, but taken on as an immovable creed or doctrine.

Here, I think it’s helpful to talk a little bit about conceptual and relational beliefs (Spiritual Migration, McLaren 216).

Brian McLaren says that conceptual beliefs are beliefs that are often easily expressed as statements or propositions, and when expressed in a sentence, are often right alongside the word that. My long-time friend in my previous story might say, “I believe that women can not be in church leadership.” Or “I believe that the headship of a church is only represented by the male gender.”  Or “I believe that hell exists” or “I believe that miracles can happen” – etc… and it’s a stake, a claim that something is real, true or in existence.

In contrast, relational beliefs are often followed by the preposition in. And they are less statements and more birthed out of a personal authenticity—lived experience that offers a confidence and sense of loyalty which permits thoughts like, “I believe in you,” “i believe in scripture,” “I believe in peace,” “I believe in my kids,” etc.

It can get complicated pretty quickly—religion or churches for example often demand statements of conceptual belief as proof of loyalty or belonging. And furthermore might offer rewards or punishments based on conceptual beliefs (acceptance or rejection—honor or shame—employment or unemployment—life or death, heaven or hell) .

This gets us into the territory of replacing conceptual beliefs as a construct over our own thinking caps.  Placing a thin, invisible barrier in our minds between the beauty and the goodness and the value of the world around us, and constricting our own experience of God’s love.

Relational beliefs allow for this question, “What do you think?” In fact to some degree they are built on this, and therefore the freedom and the health that this affords an individual and a congregation if we are talking along systemic lines allow for a foundation of LOVE.  It allows us to stay in the car together and see the passenger next to us, sort of speak!

Without freedom of thought, we offer and experience only an impoverished love.

Jesus invites us to love. And much of his ministry is spent trying to expand the systems of his day – beyond the conceptual beliefs that so many of the religious experts of his day rest on. At one point he says to these religious experts –  “How terrible it will be for you…. You give to God a tenth of mint, dill, and cumin, but you forget about the more important matters of the Law: justice, peace, and faith. You ought to give a tenth but without forgetting about those more important matters. 24 You blind guides! You filter out a gnat but swallow a camel.” (Matthew 23:23-24)
Oh, how I love it when Jesus talks about gnats and camels!

Here maybe we can see the conceptual beliefs for these religious experts is to uphold the belief that one should give away a tenth of their belongings to God… but it comes at the expense of a relational belief in people!  Where real issues of  justice, peace and faith play out.

You can’t have conceptual beliefs and X-out all the relational beliefs and say you are truly “loving” God, lest we choke on our own…

Is love present?  Is love felt? In a system that erases the eye for our world, what do you think? And how do we think in this vein if we don’t engage an active, living posture to the world around us?

I think this is what Jesus keeps prompting us with – through all his provoking and quirky words, actions and relations, “Can we imagine a christianity of the future that gathers around something other than a list of conceptual beliefs?” (McLaren) – A question he posed to the religious leaders of his day – and one that he still poses to us now…

Let’s take a look at one of the most beautiful, obvious scriptures that is abundant in God’s love for us – and the world at large:

Scripture:  Matthew 17:24 – 27 (NLV)

24 On their arrival in Capernaum, the tax collectors for the Temple tax came to Peter and asked him, “Doesn’t your teacher pay the Temple tax?”

25 “Of course he does,” Peter replied.

Then he went into the house to talk to Jesus about it.

But before he had a chance to speak, Jesus asked him,

“What do you think, Peter?

Do kings tax their own people or the foreigners they have conquered?”

26 “They tax the foreigners,” Peter replied.

“Well, then,” Jesus said, “the citizens are free! 27 However, we don’t want to offend them, so go down to the lake and throw in a line.  Open the mouth of the first fish you catch, and you will find a coin. Take the coin and pay the tax for both of us.”

Right?  Isn’t this your go-to scripture when you want to be reminded of God’s love for you? Hmmmm… taxes and fish and coins!

Let me tell you there are no pithy thoughts out on podcasts, or scholarly commentary about this coin in the fish mouth scripture.

The context here is that:

Peter has just come down from the mountain with Jesus, where he’s witnessed the transformation of Jesus.  He watched as Jesus’ face shone like the sun and his clothes turn white – and a voice from God, booming from the clouds said, “This is my Son whom I dearly love. I am very pleased with him” (Peter fell on his face in awe)

It’s a pinnacle moment—confirming his loving relationship to Jesus, the human who he’s walked alongside, and linking it to the mysterious love of God.

It’s a moment for Peter, that maybe is akin to one of your more potent spiritual moments in life—where you have felt as though you are on a mountain top, so close to God and God so close to you, that that love and that experience feels almost unbelievable.

Only of course to be interrupted by the real facts of life—a phone call, a time constraint, someone tugging at you, needing something from you, or, as in Peter’s case, a tax collector.

A tax collector asking for payment to the temple in Jerusalem that most Jewish men are meant to pay for its’ upkeep.

This moment of intimacy and love of God, felt by Peter on the mountain top, likely dissipates pretty quickly.

And we see here in these verses, I believe the dynamic again of conceptual belief and relational belief  on the table – with the question at hand – should Jesus and his followers have to pay this tax?

Peter’s impulsive answer is “Yes – of course my teacher pays the tax”.  “I believe that all Jewish men should pay the temple tax”.

An answer that Jesus doesn’t seem to disagree with …….  but what follows in the text, I believe is a deeply powerful move, that demonstrates Jesus’ love and value of each of us – to keep THINKING.  To keep thinking about the conceptual beliefs that we impulsively answer to …. And to also hold, to not overlook or x-out, the relational wonder-land of Jesus’ love in front of us….

“What do you think, Peter?”  It’s an invitation I believe that is going to help Peter see that the mountaintop experience, is available in all his settings – even the most mundane and annoying.

Everyday Sacred Spaces

And the same is true for us.
At the end of the summer, I was watering in an Outdoor Classroom that I teach in – at our local school.  And I was feeling mostly tired, hot and annoyed – and I was in a rush to get to an appointment. And of course out of the corner of my eye I could see an older woman, likely in her 70s, coming toward me. I tried very, very hard  – in my most loving posture – to not make eye contact with her… She was pretty determined thought to get my get my attention, “Excuse me – can you help me? Excuse me! Can you help me, please?” (insert internal groan)…

I turned and saw that she was carrying a large piece of a lawnmower in her hands.  As she’s walking toward me, she’s explaining that she’s trying to get the grass collection bag over the handles, but can’t quite muster the strength. <insert another internal groan>…  We wrestled for the next few minutes to get the piece connected and in that short, divine window I gained a more expansive view of who God is and where God’s love can be discovered. I learned about her life, her grown kids (who 35 years ago went to this very same elementary school), how her hands use to be so much stronger, how she mows her lawn every week, how she loves watching kids walk by her house to school,  how the guy on the phone from the hardware store gave her a pro-tip, a short-cut to getting this bag on the handles, which was to “turn the lawnmower bag inside out to swiftly get it on” (ummm….. great!).

If GOD’S LOVE, at its core is about connection of all things (neighbor, self, earth) – that this is what allows for our sense of belonging….then my hope is that the intersectionality of where I encounter God and where I encounter people is all the content and all the knowledge, that I need for an experience of God’s love.   We are yearning and eager to be seen and known and included.  And – as we keep thinking – I believe we are quick to sniff out spaces that offer a system only of conceptual beliefs.

About mid-way through my assembly of this lawnmower with this 70-year old woman, I noticed that we were putting the grass bag on completely wrong (despite the hardware store dude’s advice on the phone).  But I didn’t want to stop the process and correct it. I wanted to follow this error all the way through, until we both realized it together and had to re-calibrate and start the process all over again together.   I wanted more time to laugh at us struggling to make sense of the plastic snaps, and more time to hear the grunts and groans as we tugged and pulled, and more time to watch our hands together – strong and weak, old and young(ish) – create something together, even though in the end it was completely nonfunctional. I realize again and again in moments like these – on sidewalks, lawnmowers in hand, in the most inconvenient moments of life – that I can find a living, breathing sanctuary in the form of another human being, in the midst of the most expansive sanctuary – our Earth,  and this is where I find – I want to keep thinking – where I go for knowledge… in these everyday, sacred spaces.

Paidrag O’ Tuama, an Irish poet says that “belonging creates and undoes us both”.  …likely follows I think the same sentiment of love…. It creates and undoes us both.

Jesus wants Peter to be undone by his love… in all of life.

Peter’s quick reply to the tax collector, might have signaled to Jesus that the tendency of his thinking might veer more conceptual than relational and that a mountain-top experience could be compartmentalized in Peter’s mind as a distinct experience, under special circumstances.

It seems by Jesus’ next move, that a conceptual God is not the image that Jesus is interested in putting out in the world.

Not only does Jesus ask Peter this most loving question, “What do you think?” as a way to bridge the conceptual and the relational systems.

He then guides him a bit in how to get to thinking…, “GO OUT”, he says.  “Go to the lake, go to the shore – go fishing”. A place Peter, as a fisherman knew incredibly well.

The places we know so well where we work, live and play, it seems, are teaming with not only God’s deep love, but also miracles.

Ok—let me jump to one other personal story and then circle back to flush out why I think the miracle of Peter finding the exact tax needed for both him and Jesus – in the coin in the fish’s mouth is one of the most understated miracles.

Surprised By Humanity

Swim meets are interesting events.  You sit in a very, very moist and warm environment – very, very, very close to other human beings for many, many hours.  You watch your own swimmer, maybe swim for a combined time in all their races, of 48 seconds. 🙂

It’s a pretty solitary experience as a spectator though – most people have their own racer they are waiting to watch and otherwise mostly disengaged for the majority of the time.   Inevitably though there is a moment in a swim season – where a swimmer gets put in the wrong race, or a swimmer’s goggles fall off on the start, or for whatever reason hasn’t been trained well for the race they are in … and the result is often that this swimmer, is far, far behind the rest of the heat.

What I’ve noticed in these moments, is that somehow the collective attention of the entire arena becomes stilled and hushed, as people notice this lagging swimmer.

It’s not just the stillness in my experience… it’s then the eruptive cheering, clapping and screaming that is explosive in the space – that has pulled people’s attention out of their books or knitting.

We have NO idea who’s kid this is – or what team they are swimming for… and it doesn’t matter! Your sweaty shoulders – and this person’s sweaty shoulders – are leaping from our seats – CHEERING this kid on to their finish.. Like they have just won the Olympics.

Everyone becomes awake and alive again to what is infront of them!  And I look around and think “i’m not crying – you’re are crying”.. .and then I look around and  I see – “oh jeez, you are crying”… “and you are crying, too”! Etc…

What is this?  What is this sensation of being swept off of my feet into goodness and beauty with 100’s of strangers, in unassuming spots and being surprised by humanity?”

Jesus I think says – “oh yeah, that’s the treasure… that’s the coin/treasure in the mouth of your EVERYDAY fishing zones”.

As we THINK, As we become awake with our hearts, and minds and souls – with lived experience as our data and content…. We start to perform the miracles of today…. BECAUSE we transform ourselves and the way we see and engage with the  world around us… that it can not be merely just a place to inhabit, but instead the world around us is this living sanctuary, breathing and pulsing with Jesus’ deep love.

Sanctuaries free of walls – FULL of GOd’s love – found on pool decks and in gardens and at desks and hospital rooms, and found through the human sanctuaries in our midst at every turn.

Here disconnection and judgement crumbles.

And these ways of thinking about and experiencing God – don’t come with a risk of compromising Jesus or Scripture… It doesn’t suggest that we need to have a wholesale rejection and replacement of any prior system.  Each new discovery of God – “includes or integrates its antecedents, even as it transcends or expands beyond them. When Moses is given the Ten Commandments, he doesn’t say that Abraham’s religion was wrong because he didn’t have them. And when Solomon builds an elaborate temple of stone he doesn’t say Moses’s religion was wrong b/c he only had a tent of cloth…and so on is the pattern throughout scripture… which suggests that religion should expand, evolve and learn and grow… the same is true with Jesus – right?  He came not to eradicate the law – but to fulfill what came before him “ (p. 103).

God’s love takes care of all that, as we see it in its expanse—it creates and undoes at the same time.

Jesus, I believe sends Peter out to fish.. To show just this – that Jesus can still operate within the constrains of everyday life, taxation included – and with conceptual beliefs present… But his love and intimacy expands beyond systems, won’t be threatened by law – and is EVER-EXPANDED as we think, move and live our lives.

HOW DO WE DO THIS? How do we keep thinking?  How do we know if we’ve stalled? Or are caught up in compliant responses?

Peter gives us the shining hint….in his move right after he answers the tax collector….as compliant and impulsive as it is – … it seems he has this relational twinge within himself..  And it says he “went into the house to talk to Jesus about it”.

HECK YAH!

That’s the bridge right there… that’s the lightning moment  “Jesus I have to talk with you about something”.. IT KEEPS US CONNECTED TO THE SOURCE OF ALL LIFE.

And likely, most times he’s going to say “What do you think?”, and point us right back to our very life – but boy, oh boy, you better be ready for a miracle in the middle of it…

After these two stories I just told, it could be easy to walk away and say “wow, that was a sweet moment, with a sweet older woman – I’m so moved, I’m so grateful”.  “Wow, what an incredible collective response in an ordinary setting, a swim race”. And call it a day. Maybe share it with a friend or two.

OR I could walk away from those ordinary encounters (that by the way are abundant in their opportunities)… and say “HOLY JESUS”!  “HOLY, HOLY LOVE of JESUS”!

And that’s the coin in the fishes mouth, my friends – THAT”S the miracle of today. Truly.

To think – to talk to Jesus about it – and to see THAT JESUS LOVE IS IMMERSED IN EVERY. EVERY think we touch – -the earth, the people, ..

This lawnmower woman undid me.  The pool moment undid me.

All of our moments have the Jesus potential to create and undo – it’s His specialty, I believe.  He invites us again and again, “what do you think?-IT IS THE underlying QUESTION OF LIVING”. Roam around in that question my friends… feel joy… feel strength, feel perplexed, feel awkward, feel connectedness… feel time sharpen and slow…..   But above all be prepared to FEEL Peter’s mountaintop experience of God’s love.

“What do you think?” It’s a blunt question  – one that doesn’t beg for devotion, but one that drives straight to the heart…….  To your true self, a question that demands authenticity. It’s a question, that I wish my friend could have asked me in the car.  “Ivy what do you think about the role of women in the church?”

Maybe we could have discovered the treasure//the miracle in the midst of us.. The bridging of our conceptual and relational viewpoints..and see that Jesus is big enough to cover us both.

Maybe I might have answered, in concrete ways from my lived experience and maybe, I might have invited her to look at Scripture too, to see the Bible, not just as an “answer book”, but as a book that invites us to think and to explore the world around us – here and now.

A rich text that encourages us to deepen our moral imagination so that we can co-create a new future – in partnership with so many for this next generation!  For the youth that are watching her move and think and live ….

As Jesus continues to teach us –  may we strive hard to bombard this next generation with stories, parables, actions, invitations to think …  of Jesus’ great powerful, mysterious and altogether wondrous love.

And may we implore our next generation to think from their own vantage points on the mighty words of Jesus, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. And love your neighbor as yourself.”

An Invitation to Whole-life Flourishing:

Ask yourself, “what do I think of that? What does that mean, and why does that matter?” as a regular practice of love; love of neighbor, self and God.

Spiritual Practice of the Week:

Practice the prayer, “here”.

Word “here”.

“Here”.  I’m here, God. You’re here. We are here together”.

Staying awake to God’s presence and love—which is above me, before me, behind me, beside me, beneath me and within me, as the old Celtic blessing puts it.

Full Prayer of St. Patrick:

I arise today

Through the strength of heaven;

Light of the sun,

Splendor of fire,

Speed of lightning,

Swiftness of the wind,

Depth of the sea,

Stability of the earth,

Firmness of the rock.

 

I arise today

Through God’s strength to pilot me;

God’s might to uphold me,

God’s wisdom to guide me,

God’s eye to look before me,

God’s ear to hear me,

God’s word to speak for me,

God’s hand to guard me,

God’s way to lie before me,

God’s shield to protect me,

God’s hosts to save me

Afar and anear,

Alone or in a multitude.

Christ shield me today

Against wounding

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,

Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,

Christ on my right, Christ on my left,

Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,

Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,

Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,

Christ in the eye that sees me,

Christ in the ear that hears me.

I arise today

Through the mighty strength

Of the Lord of creation.

His Banner Over Us is Love

Last week, we started a new, 8 week series called Training in the Studio of Love. It feels so great to kick this new year off looking at love.  It’s a word we hear about, talk about and orient around a lot as people who think about faith—and who try our best to live out a life of faith with Jesus at the center—but maybe less often, consider it something to train for. Our series is inspired by an old friend of our church, Brian McLaren (author, and in the pastorate), who has spent a lot of time thinking about just how we are called to lead a life of love, and he has come up with a curriculum of sorts to help us also think about it!

So last week and this week we will look at what love of neighbor looks like. Steve over the next two weeks will talk about the unselfish love of self, and then we’ll follow with love of the world, and wrap up our series with 2 weeks on the love of God.

If I think back to the first time I remember hearing the word “God”. I also remember hearing the word “love.” “God is love,” “God loves,” “God is loving.” “God loves you.”

And it did indeed feel like God was wrapping me in this “great banner of His love.”  This direct association, that I picked up on at an early age suggested to m, that if I were to become interested in following God, that I, too, might just want to lead a life full of love and loving others. It was so compelling.  And at this young age, it seemed easy enough to do—love seemed like something God gave “freely,” “without an agenda,” “for everyone”—a love that made me feel warm and special (an experience of love).

And this stayed true, until I turned, like… 5. And the unfolding of just how quickly the words “God” and “Love” could become intertwined with structures and systems started to occur in family, organizations and churches—it augmented my original association of “God” and “love,” to something much more complex.     

It seemed to me that that  “His banner over me” as love, became graffiti’d with extra words – extra bullet points of what “love and God” could mean.

At different points along my faith journeyI became entrapped in some of these meanings—but also at points, I ushered the meaning out as gospel:

Love meant I should be passive.

Love meant I should take on a certain set of political and social views.

Love meant following very specific religious beliefs.

Love was meant to be wielded as a weapon.

Love meant truth at the cost of exclusion.

And I learned how quickly words can take on all our human flaws and frailties!

And how quickly the free-floating banner around us as “love” comes crashing down to become a wall—a barrier between just who Jesus calls us to love: our neighbors, ourselves, and even God.

This is why I’m incredibly excited about this series.  Because I’m more and more convinced that we, indeed, are helped by practice and training in this radical love that Jesus professes as the most central meaning and source of life:  to love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our being, with all our strength, and with all our mind, and to love our neighbor as ourselves.

It is not a platitude to hide behind, but our most powerful way to live.

Training in this studio of love may just help us resurrect, His banner over us as Love.

We love stories

I have this deep inkling that many of us really like stories. Is that true? Do some of you like stories?  I think we do. We love to tell stories. We love to hear stories. We love to watch stories (insta-stories on Instagram).  For years now this has been the marketing strategy of most advertising firms—put more stories out there for people to connect with a product.  We at Reservoir are not excluded from this with our own “stories” section of our website! (it’s really good you should check it out). We really love stories, and we love to create stories too!

I always thought I was really bad at telling stories. When my kids were little this was often part of our “play” routine or “bedtime” routine. There was always a “tell me a story” request.  I was terribly uncreative in this vein. Most often the bedtime stories I would create were full of the things little kids nightmares are made of: “One day as baby skunk was leaving the house to meet her friend at the playground, Mommy skunk said ‘make sure you go the route by Mrs. Badger’s house so you can water her flowers’ and baby skunk disobeyed and went the short route over the bridge to the playground.”

And then baby skunk got “eaten by a troll”.

The end.

Sweet dreams. Nighty-night.

I wasn’t ever creative enough to deviate from the theme “always listen to your mother,” but I was generous in letting my kids choose their own animal character!

So, it’s actually true, I’m not great at creating bedtime stories.  

But I’m actually creating stories all the time—in my head and subconscious—of the world and people around me.

Last week Steve spoke on Jesus’ radical call to all of us to “Love our neighbor as ourself.” We started with love of neighbor because it stretches us, it pulls us outside of ourselves, and helps us think about what love really is and isn’t.

And we’ll continue today with this love of neighbor and take this greatest commandment to the fullness of it’s design and message—to “love our neighbor”—yes those close to us and the ones we are already in relationship with —but to also love our neighbor who we regard as the stranger, the alien, the one that make us feel uncomfortable, the outsider, the misunderstood,  the outcast and the enemy.  

Actual Neighbors 

*We have neighbors. Physical neighbors, directly flanking us on both sides.

And we’ve definitely had our ups and downs with loving them (some more than others). I’ve spoken before of one neighbor whose small, wire fence I ran over two times, out of anger.

But I’m not going to talk about that neighbor today. We are cool (mostly).

But I want to talk about our neighbors on the other side of us.

These neighbors:  Do not like us and they are mean.
We’ve lived in next to them for 13 years now.

All of our conversations have been prickly, our interactions weird, awkward and laced with assumptions.  

Every ball that has ever gone over our fence into their yard, has never been returned.

They never shovel their piece of the sidewalk.

And so many more examples… in those 13 years.

And I realized I’ve been telling a pretty epic, dynamic story of these neighbors, for a long time.  And I realized this more recently when it culminated in a conversation we had with this neighbor.

Some pieces of information you should know.  We have one chicken. Her name is “Tiny.” She had two sisters originally—but one got eaten by a raccoon and the other met her demise by an errant, but forceful soccer ball kick in the backyard.

This conversation with the neighbor centered around our chicken. Our neighbor believes that all the coyotes in the town of Milton—ALL the coyotes from the BLUE HILLS—migrate to our street because of this one chicken.

WE are the coyote-whispers… because of our chicken “snack”.

And I was just like—these people are crazy. Like actually nuts. And exhausting.
Brian McLaren says that the greatest way to set someone up as your enemy, is to tell their story starting with point #2.  My starting point with this story of my neighbor has always been, (it’s how I told their story to you just now), that “THEY DON’T LIKE US AND THEY ARE MEAN”.

So in the 13 years that we’ve been neighbors, that has been the starting point of my narrative with them, and it has had its consequences, its real effects. We have never invited them into our house, not even in our backyard.

We have all the nice neighbors over that we love on our street—that are easy to relate to  and who we’ve created warm, peaceful narratives of—over to our house.

But I’m clearly entering into their story not at point #1 and that allows me to write/draw conclusions about who these people are.

And then that allows me to set up what “love” looks like for them.

Love looks like I avoid these people.  

And that I keep telling this story of them.

Perpetuate the story of meanness.  Create more distance. And if someone asks, I will tell them that our neighbors are “mean and they don’t like us.” I will do the work of setting up division and dehumanizing our neighbors to others(and to our kids).

And this can feel small scale.

But this seems to be the birthplace of all prejudice, misunderstanding: to create stories, tell stories and listen to stories where the narrative begins at point #2.

And it often starts in these tinier, personal/interpersonal ways—tiny story-tellings. But soon it can become generations of story-telling, communicating a particular narrative,  about a person or groups of people. And that sets up in our institutions and systems as agenda’d ways …….not to “Love”……, but to “other” our neighbors. To put parameters around who our neighbor is… and we start to use words like “safe” and “wise” and “prudent”. …  right? How much can I safely “love my neighbor”? What’s the wise way to love here? And we reduce love down into something that is very far from what Jesus offers us in loving our neighbor. We reduce love to an agenda.

You see in the center of every narrative we create that succeeds in “othering” our neighbor are the seeds of hate. Hate and love both occupy our hearts.  Who knows—their seeds might lie right next to each other in our hearts. Both of them seem to aim to grow into similar ways, with the hopes of multiplying, decentering and taking priority over anything else!

The difference though, is that:

Love isn’t an agenda. Hate is.

When we start putting forth agendas around “Loving our neighbor”—

We are no longer speaking in terms of love; we have intermixed the word “Love” with our agenda. An agenda may be framed in words of “Love,” But really it’s often, the “love” of our rightness—to love the position of rightness that makes us feel superior to someone else, to love our “security,” our “certainty” and “comfort”—but clearly lets no actual effect of love be felt. And isn’t this the test of love—not the stated intention, but the actual effect of that love in action?

With Jesus there’s no agenda in love.  Love is what matters, period. The radical love of Jesus offers us a more durable force, a soul-force that is not as fragile as hate. Radical love means that neither “beliefs nor words, neither taboos, systems, structures nor the labels that enshrined them mattered most.  Love decentered everything else;  love relativized everything else; love takes priority over everything else – everything” (McLaren p 42).

Go and love your neighbor.

So simple, yet so challenging. It’s like doing that exercise—the plank. It seems like laying on your elbows is something I could do for like 15 minutes, but after 20 seconds, my entire body is shaking. This too, is the feeling I have when I try to love to the extent that Jesus calls us to love our neighbor.

But Jesus says, “oh no,  you need to do this to strengthen your core of love!” And this is it, this is your training plan!

I want my coyote-conspiracy theorist neighbor to not fit into the ‘love your neighbor’ command. I want to disqualify the neighbor, to perpetuate the story: “too weird, too scary, unhinged.”  But really, that’s all my self-preserving agenda at work.

And my agenda is nestled in hate. It really is.

Mercifully Jesus is really great at helping us correct narratives that we’ve created, and agendas that we’ve run wild with. 

And here in the Gospel of Luke, the scripture that you find on your program, he spells out a pretty detailed training plan for us:

How do we correct our bad story-telling?  “Love our enemies”.

Luke 6:27-36

27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

40 The student is not above the teacher.  But all students will, once they are fully trained, be on a par with their teacher”.

These are words of Jesus’ Sermon on the Plain, (compared to Matthew’s account: The Sermon on the Mount).  Jesus is standing on level ground with his newly chosen disciples, and he is writing a new story here—a different narrative than the one that they’ve known!  He’s dismantling and “decentering old things – the religious rules, temples, sacrifice, hierarchies and the like and recentering the tradition on love..” (p. 46).  And tipping it all by saying that anyone who is willing to step into this new training studio of love can become a teacher of it as well! (v. 40): “But all students will, once they are fully trained, be on a par with their teacher.”

It’s a challenging picture of love and we can quickly say, “Oh this is how we love our enemy.” It’s a distinct teaching on this specific way to love.  But I think Jesus could be making the point that this is actually the training guide for how we love, period. That the people we already love or want to love—we can only love them as fully as we can love our enemy. And how we lead a life of love, and it hinges on our capacity to love our enemy.

We are going to need training to “up” that capacity.

I’ve talked before on these verses of “turn the other cheek, give your coat and walk the extra mile” as a passage that is powerful in its context and for us today of non-violent resistance—to uphold human dignity and to strive for justice—not a picture of passivity/doormat quality.

But today—I’d love to draw out two elements that surround these verses, that I think are essential and significant spiritual exercises that we need in becoming teachers of love-in-action that Jesus says we can be. These are: Proximity and Forgiveness.

I heard a story a couple of years back about a white nationalist,  Derek Black and an orthodox Jew, Matthew Stevenson. Maybe you are familiar with this story too… but I think it highlights these elements of proximity and a heart with a generous posture of loving.

Derek Black & Matthew Stevenson

Derek Black was the chosen heir to the white nationalist movement: the son of Don Black, founder of the massive hate site, Stormfront.org and godson to former KKK Grand Wizard David Duke—perhaps the most known white supremacist and racist. Derek himself was the creator of a website for “proud white children” and the founder of a 24-hour radio network for white nationalists.

His ancestry dictated his beliefs.  He embraced the stories he was told, and these narratives became the platform by which he saw and interacted with the world (and how he framed “love”), and how he ran for a political sea—a local committee seat in Florida at the age of 19, running on the narratives that at least from my vantage start far beyond point #1. He ran on the belief that black people were more likely to commit crimes and had lower IQs than whites, that Jews controlled media and finance, that immigration and affirmative action were leading the country toward a “white genocide,” where white people in America are victims, not perpetrators, of racism.  He won the seat, but declined it and went to college in Florida.

Here, it wasn’t long before his ideology was outed—and as a result the campus exploded in outrage with active moves to get him expelled.

The short of this story is that a fellow student, Matthew Stevenson, who is an Orthodox Jew, invited Derek to his weekly, Friday evening Shabbat dinners, which Derek agreed to and attended for 2 years.

After 2 years of these dinners and conversation, Derek wrote to the Southern Poverty Law Center, disavowing his beliefs and renouncing his white nationalist ties.

This is quite a story! It’s a redemption story, a forgiveness story, a brave story—it’s a story of love. And I think we might love “love stories” the most. But we can tend to simplify love stories.

And I can imagine that an easy takeaway from this story is that everything will be hunky-dory if we just have more meals with people. Differences and evil will disappear, and we can move beautifully forward. And I think there’s some truth in this! But there’s more.

Forgiveness

This too, is often how forgiveness is regarded: “I’ll forgive you and then we can just move on and forget”—that’s what Christians do.

Forgiveness, though, is a love story nestled in this great banner of  love. It’s much more powerful than that—not just a sentimental outpouring.

I can imagine that forgiveness was on the table at these Shabbat dinners. I can imagine that Matthew was able to forgive Derek, to recognize that the evil represented in this enemy-neighbor, sitting across from him, might not be his whole narrative. Matthew Stevenson said himself “I had to come to the table believing that the image of the creator might be somewhere inside of Derek.” And he was willing to see if there was a different starting point of Derek’s narrative, and willing to suspend his own agenda.

I think neither Derek or Matthew would say that this story was about forgetting, silencing or ignoring any evil – because of forgiveness.  

Forgiveness is not reconciliation.

Forgiveness is not an invitation to discard our healthy boundaries. (especially when we are speaking on terms of feeling safe).  

But:

Forgiveness is the way forward in the studio of love.

Forgiveness is movement, in our hearts and relationships.

Forgiveness allows more space in our hearts for Jesus’ way of love to take up residence.

Forgiveness allows us to create and build new stories.

Forgiveness releases hateful agendas.

Forgiveness puts the power in the hands of the victim (Swan & Wilson, Solus Jesus). And is the best form of “self-interest, because it allows you freedom to no longer be tied to the one who’s done you harm” (Desmond Tutu).

Forgiveness, in the ways that Jesus shows us in these verses, replaces the in-kind system that we want to enact when we are hurt—an “eye for an eye,” “tooth for tooth,” “Slap on the cheek, for a slap on the cheek”—with mercy, compassion and kindness, even if the offender, as was true of Derek, asserts their innocence.

“Forgiveness  does not mean ignoring what has been done or putting a false label on an evil act.  It means, rather, that the evil no longer remains as a barrier to the relationship.”  Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. says, “each of us is something of a schizophrenic personality, tragically divided against ourselves. Where there is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us”(pg. 45 – Strength to Love). Forgiveness allows us to entertain this—that our enemy might not be completely evil—and that we might not be completely holy.

And forgiveness doesn’t mean that we stop pursuing justice. Derek Black says that he often gets worried that his story will be told as a piece of evidence that the only way to change people’s minds is to have friendly conversations, but he says it’s essential to speak up loudly and to pursue that which you seek justice for.

Forgiveness is not justice.

*Disclaimer on forgiveness:
If you’ve been abused—please know that I’m not purporting that forgiveness is a prerequisite for healing. The ways that you might feel resentment or anger or even loathing for the ones who brought harm to you is normal – and is not a reflection of whether you have adequately “dealt” the abuse.

And all of this takes trainingtakes practice! Because it goes against the natural instinct to pay back evil with evil.

(Studies show us what our brains look like on revenge: it hits the same spot that a brain who’s thirsty or hungry does when that craving is met. And we need training to help rewire this.)

But Proximity helps in the re-wiring.
The examples Jesus uses in this Sermon on the Plain—to love your enemy— require us to be close enough to feel the hurt/pain and hate (The sting on our cheeks) dealt from our enemy, and close enough for us to demonstrate love (for them to see it and witness it, but also to feel it).  And proximity is so important—Jesus says, “double down on your efforts in that regard” (Give your other cheek, give your shirt too, walk the extra mile). To be a teacher of love, you must be close to your students.

Derek Black was asked what moment transformed him. What made him renounce this hateful ideology? And he said it wasn’t a moment, “ it was 2-3 years of little events,” 2-3 years of intentional, proximal dinners with others,2-3 years where Matthew suspended hate, judgment and condemnation, 2-3 years of potent doses of radical love that probed and dismantled and shook Derek’s heart.  

And he says what shook his heart the most was that he received the pictures of mercy, kindness and love from the one that was ostensibly victimized by his ideology. Closeness matters. And loving those who do not know love matters.

Matthew Stevenson

We are told in scripture that without love, we’re nothing—just a bunch of annoying noise, clanging cymbals—that we can have mountain-moving faith and the strongest of creed affirming doctrines, but without love it has no meaning or value. And the same is true of what Jesus says here, too—If you love where love is already present.  If you do good where good is already present –  what credit is that to you? Beyond upholding your self-preserving agenda of comfort, and certainty? It seems, at least in the story of Derek and Matthew, that it would have come at a cost: a cost of transformation and healing, and growthspiritual growthif we don’t come close to our enemies, to truly love them.

We can’t call ourselves teachers of love if we are pouring our love out to students who have already themselves been trained. We need to get proximal with those who have not yet been introduced to the subject!  This is only where love is truly alive.

Derek says “I don’t think I anticipated what impact not being around a bunch of white nationalists would have had.” The fact that this orthodox Jew would go into the realms of where palpable hate is only present—where there was a void of love—is actually the classroom that we as teachers should seek.

Jesus knew that he could take the “in-kind” way of reparation that was written in the Jewish system out of the Law,  but it didn’t mean that it would be rooted out of the culture unless there were close, human interactions that demonstrated this new commandment of love. This is why we need to get proximal, to love up close, to root hate/prejudice/racism out of our culture.

In the Greek language, this radical love of God is expressed in the word agape,  which is understood as “understanding and creative, redemptive goodwill for all people.  An overflowing love that seeks nothing in return.  It is the love of God operating in the human heart.” (p. 46 Strength to Love).

I Facebook messaged Matthew Stevenson to ask him a few questions, like “what’s the take away here?”  

I didn’t hear from him.

But I bet he would say it was this: “That the love of God operating in the human heart” is a force like no other; That at these Shabbat Dinners this is what was witnessed as the only force that is capable of transforming an enemy into a friend. It is the only force that anchors us back to the truest of narratives, that “His banner over us is love!”And this is a Double Victory: “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Witness transformation, and we too will be transformed. A double victory indeed.

Training:

Luke 6:40: “All students will, once they are fully trained, be on par with their teacher”. And as we are trained in the way of love my friends – we can witness the power of it’s reach, unleashed across religious, political, ideological and cultural lines.

“We can see how Gandhi in many ways popularized this radical love of Jesus, with nonviolent resistance, which is later picked up by Martin Luther King, Jr., and others, and then spreads to Muslim liberation theology through leaders like Farid Esack” (McLaren, Spiritual Migration)—and is also embraced by neighbors like Matthew Stevenson and, maybe somewhere in that story line, me and you.

This love spreads to a Hindu, then to a Christian, then to a Muslim.  This seems to be the beauty of not reducing Jesus down into a theological formula, but taking on his meaning and source of life as radical love.

This does not deny or compromise the meaning of Jesus, but it extends and grows and moves it forward,  fulfilling the potential of all that this “law of love” can provide.

Training

I’m in training, my friends. Actually, I’m just at the start of drawing up my training program to reorient my heart and mind.

I’m trying as a starting point to observe more of my neighbor—not like creepily, with binoculars, but to pause and take notice with love.

It widens the narrative, and allows me to see them as a human being with human dignity. And this is a great starting point that might just suggest that the neighbor in front of me bears no resemblance to the way I have portrayed them in my script.  

So how many reps/how many sets/how much time do we put into this training?  
All. the. sets. All. the. reps. All. the. time.

Conclusion

The training in this studio of love is intense and yet grows in us this brawny muscle of  love, this soul-force that gets us back to the original narrative of God and Love. “God is love” without limitation or discrimination. So may His “banner over you as love” be less a flag that you have to wave to declare this as true, but rather a way of life that demonstrates that love, and makes it visible to all of your neighbors.

May it be so.

A Tip Whole-life Flourishing

Meditate this week on Jesus’ phrase to you, “My banner over you is love”.  As you go about your days, pay attention to the “neighbors” you normally would avoid or regard as your enemy.  How does this banner of Jesus’ love affect your soul, your heart, your actions?

Spiritual Practice of the Week

Practice the Welcoming Prayer

  • Identify a hurt or an offense in your life.  
  • Name any feelings, emotions, thoughts, sensations and commentaries in your body.
  • Welcome God in all of these, by saying, “Welcome.” This could be anger, grief, sadness, etc.
  • Let go.  Hand over all the pain – yours and the world’s – over to God. Ask God for grace, compassion, forgiveness, or a word that resonates for the pain.

Resources:  Solus Jesus: A Theology of Resistance, by Emily Swan and Ken Wilson

Strength to Love,  Martin Luther King Jr.

To Glisten in the New Year

On Sunday, 12/30, we used the sermon portion of our service as a time to look together as a community at the spiritual reflection Reservoir published this fall. The below text is a modified version of the guided reflection given by Ivy Anthony.

As you read through the reflection, feel free to peruse the electronic version of My Life With Jesus, or print it out to follow along and fill out.

Introduction

It’s such a joy to be here with all of you today!  Kids and youth, all of us gathering to spend the last Sunday of 2018 together. We’ve almost made it—almost made it to the end of 2018! Today’s question of the day gave you a second to name a few things that have been favorable and maybe less favorable for you over the last year. And so for all the ways that making it to the end of 2018 feels like a significant triumph for some of you—and for some of you less so—we still have made it!

At our dinner table last night I posed this question of the day and the descriptor that rose to the top was “adventure”.  So congratulations! Because no matter which way you spin it 2018 has been an adventure— we have traveled far in 2018, all the way around the sun!

It’s jarring to look back at all the certainty that has happened—concrete experiences, felt emotions—And then to turn to 2019, this vast year of unknown ahead of us.

And it’s this time of year—the end of the year—when we look out at the horizon of 2019 with so much of the unknown ahead of us—so many days to unfold—where we don’t know what they will look like or what they will entail. And so we start to name and form some certainties that we can enter the year with—this is where “resolutions” come in!

And for so many these resolutions are so helpful—an opportunity of new beginnings, of hope, (from what we are turning from perhaps in the last year).

For me though, this time of year—on the cusp of a new year—often creates a little more anxiety than excitement. I haven’t often been great at making resolutions and even “Less great” at “sticking to” resolutions. And yet it goes deeper than the resolutions, I think. It’s not really about drinking more water or stretching more, or spending more time with God. Those are all great, but it’s that I’m daunted by the picture/the image of myself that I hope to turn into because of those things.  That there’s a time-stamp to it—that at some distant horizon in 2019,some 8 weeks or 6 months in, I’ll be a newer, better, more glistening version of myself.  

Much of my life, I’ve realized, actually has been a series of trying to reach that glisten—that distant glow—where I’ll arrive at  my better self.

I don’t know if this is true for you or not, but I remember as a young kid dreaming of a time ahead, just out of reach, a glistening edge of life’s landscape ahead of me: what it would be like for instance, when I finally reached the age of 16—“Oooh, I’ll be such a “cool” version of myself”  – I’ll have my license, be driving and experiencing more freedom, and maybe a taste of what it is to be in new love, innocent love…

And once I hit 16, there was a lot less “glisten”.  I realized that having my license meant more responsibility and carting my brothers around and doing errands and evidently getting a lot of milk from the local convenience store.

And so I’d find myself dreaming of what it would be like to be in my young adult years, moving out of my parent’s ((cold)) house, partnered with someone I adore fully and who adores me fully, where answers to questions of heart-ache, and loss of innocence and how to keep my head above water and out of the tangles of anxiety would be apparent.

And of course reaching that horizon – and realizing there wasn’t much of a glisten there at all.  

And so it goes. I’m 41, an age by which my younger self would have told me I’d have a large cache of  wisdom and groundedness in my being with all the life and experiences I’ve lived, where I’d have more answers in my back pocket than questions, an age where I thought I’d “do” relationships better than I am and where I’d find my strong, unwavering voice and where I could balance the harried-ness of life with large swaths of graciousness, and patience and understanding dealt to all those around me at every turn.

Alas—my younger self would be disappointed.

But I am not.

My younger self would hope that I’d have arrived at some magical point of life.

I haven’t arrived.

But I am here.

And you are here.

And that matters.

And that just might be the glistening horizon.  We might be sitting in it right now. Each other’s glow – with Jesus’s light refracting off of all of my hot messy self, just as I am.

This is where glistening happens.  With the fullness of ourselves—just as we are—and with the fullness of God just as He always is.

And so this is really what our service will be about today, what I’m inviting you into deeper today—yes, time to be with God and time to reflect with God— time to sit in the glisten.

We are going to take some time in this service today to interact with the spiritual reflection in your hands. This reflection, if you can think of it as such, is actually a guide of how to glisten and how to keep glistening in the New Year.

I’ll make space for 3 different areas of reflection this morning: Just how are you experiencing the love of Jesus these days?—What are the spiritual practices and ways that you feel like might be enlivening that love of Jesus (or not). What about the joy of living—does that sound like an apt descriptor for your life right now? How about community—what ways are you feeling connected? And what ways are you hoping for more in any of these areas?  You won’t be asked to share any of these reflections with anyone this morning in service, but at the end of service you will have an opportunity to let us know if you’d appreciate talking with a trained leader or pastor on staff more about your reflection.

I encourage you that, while reflecting can feel void of movement, that we are just pausing time, it actually is an incredibly potent and effective tool. It allows you and God together to probe your soul.
It’s for the discovery of your own soul—what YOU are here on this earth for! It’s for the glisten!

Richard Rohr says “Your soul is who you are in God and who God is in you.”  Right?!  We do not “make” or “create” our own souls. We awaken them, allow them, and live out of their deepest messages.

This reflection time – is all the hope that a resolution could be. It allows you inroads to unearth the newest of beginnings – the deepest messages of your soul, that God and you get to discover together. 

So let’s take a reflection moment right now, by looking inward:

This week’s program included an insert with a prompt that said simply: “I am” followed by blank lines. Those present were encouraged to take creative/free license in filling in this prompt and fill the lines with identity, feelings, maladies, disappointments, or anything else. “I am— I am a pastor at Reservoir Church. I am a fabulous mom to 3 kids. I am thankful for… I am craving…” Feel free to consider this prompt on your own now.

I am __________________________________________________.

Part 1: Love of God

I wrote down a lot of things in that little “I am ______” moment.  

“I am a mom”…
“I am wandering”…
“I am full of dreams.”
“I am afraid of dreaming.”
“I am loved by God.”

To glisten is the effect of Jesus’ love hitting us squarely in the soul. Where all those deepest dreams and messages of who we are and who we can become live, and when hit with Jesus’ love they get stirred up like dust in a sun-beam. Visible where they once were not—hundreds of particles, swirling in the light: glistening.

And it’s exciting to see them hit the light of day, and it can also feel a little overwhelming as we try to form them in the midst of the “hard facts of our lives” (Thurman).

We’ve spent some time over the past 4 weeks looking at the dreams and nightmares of the various individuals that surround the birth narrative of Jesus.  Hopefully you’ve gotten a glimpse of how this is not just an ancient story-line, but one that enfolds your story too today. The dream for so many was that a Savior would come and flip the world as they knew it for the better—where this King to come would bust through ways that only seemed to offer dead-ends and the boundaries that only succeeded at keeping people on the margins of society, where amid strange and scary times there would be “newness”—a hope filled to the brim with kindness, humility and LOVE.

The deep, abiding LOVE of Jesus

That keeps us upright in our contemporary world as we fumble and fail and struggle through our days sometimes.

This LOVE of Jesus is what I hope we can still dream for today.

Love that perhaps has lost its luster/its shine in our days—roughed up a bit as it scratches across the bumps and valleys of our harsh day, but one that when we can carve a moment of reflection, polishes quickly to a piercing light that glistens off of us, wherever we are, in the fullness of who we are, and energizes us with a never vanishing love for all the dead ends that we may need to bust through and the barriers and walls that we may need to dismantle in 2019.

I read the words of John Paul Lederach (Mennonite and author), who said this compelling thing about glistening as it relates to the Christmas story. He said that “Mary and Joseph glistened to the unexpected seed they carried toward the light of day”.

And it’s compelled me to ask myself:

How can I be like Mary and Joseph?  How can I carry all that is within me: the unexpected, the unknown, the messy, and expose it to the light of each day—to glisten?  How do I keep glistening?

As we’ve followed the story of Mary and Joseph over the stretch of this Christmas season, we can see that it was their love for this unborn, mysterious Jesus.  

It was their love that wasn’t even fully formed, but fully open to discovery.  It allowed them to be risky, to move in the midst of threat, to be guided by stars and angels, and songs and poems—breaking through thresholds of social class and culture and refugee status to see their purpose and role in the great unveiling of the greatest of all loves: Jesus as important—pivotal and worthy.

Their glistening came from a deep knowing that would grow and overturn the systems of enslavement/guilt/judgement/darkness and usher in peace/freedom and light.

All because they glistened to the seed that was inside them.

A seed that we too have and carry today.

That we are invited to bring again and again to the light of our days.

Zechariah, one of these Christmas story voices, the long -awaited father to John the Baptist prophecy’s and says these words:

Through the heartfelt mercies of our God,

God’s Sunrise will break in upon us,

Shining on those in the darkness,

those sitting in the shadow of death,

Then showing us the way, one foot at a time,

down the path of peace. (MSG) Luke 1: 78 – 79

And this is the hope of this next reflection time right now—that you, to the degree that you have energy and presence to do so, will reflect and remember those moments of God breaking into your life with His radiant light—light that isn’t just “an alluring glow out at a distant horizon” or a “mirage,” but is a steady, constant promise of never-ceasing LOVE—the activator of all our dreams and the active ingredient that allows our multi-faceted selves to glisten.

Take a few minutes to reflect on the love of Jesus.

Part 2: The Joy of Living

I love that last line of the scripture we read together, of Zechariah’s words –

“(God will show us) the way, one foot at a time,

down the path of peace.”

It is such a counter-cultural way of navigating life right? One foot at a time. He seems to suggest a slower, more rooted cadence—one that rests in this trust of God, and one that promotes that the life you witness and experience where you stand is indeed valuable, worthy of taking in and being a part of.

We, though, are often conditioned to look at a year ahead of us and answer: What are your goals for the year?  What will you have accomplished by the end of Quarter 2? What are you striving toward?

How much of what you accomplish in your days do you measure by your feet? How much of your work goals? Or your homework? Or your instrument practice?

Not much I’d guess! We measure in time right?  Hours, minutes, seconds…. ((how much can we get done, in how little time – go!)

Zechariah, though, in his moment gives us a different measurement for finding peace and—I believe—joy, in our living:  by our own feet.

To look at the vastness of the year ahead and make an action plan and put dreams into motion is not by any means “bad.”   

But the components of those plans and dreams are found by the life we stand in right at our feet: Where we work, play and live—being present to the life that surrounds us, and trusting that God will each step of the way illuminate what it is we should put our energy and goals and dreams and attention toward. And the effect of this is how we catch the glistening all around us: the beauty and the sorrow, the light and the darkness.

How many of you have seen something glisten?

Sun as it shimmers on snow?

Cheeks when tears slide down them?

Moonbeams as they hit the ripples of water….?

Moist rocks on a beach, when the sun hits them?

My guess is that for most of us to witness and behold these moments, we were standing and watching, with close proximity.  We leaned in, to the person with tears, we were sliding our own feet over the glistening rocks on the beach. We were present to the glistening. We might feel joy and amazement and wonder.

Maybe this is what Zechariah, after months of being silent as he waited for the birth of his child, hopes for us to still hear today: to stand in our life fully, whatever it may offer us, presents opportunities to glisten and receive joy from God.

And maybe it’s just worth reflecting on this a bit: The joy of living.  

You’ll find this next reflection moment in your packet. Take some time to think about these prompts and questions.  As before, don’t feel pressure to fully answer all of them. Take freedom to stay with one train of thought or just enjoy silence and stillness.

Part 3: The Gift of Community

This past year I’ve felt that tick of time more than ever. The swiftness of it! With my oldest in high school, I’m realizing that it’s just 3 years and 7 months, and 4 days… give or take… that she’ll be out of our house (likely).   

And so these words of being present and guided by God “one foot at a time” have felt powerful and kept my eyes more widely open to the moments where connection can come with her, but also connection in the communities that her activities draw me in to.  

Her swim coach pitched to me over the summer that I should become the team’s “Volunteer Coordinator”.  Which means that for any home meet that we throw, I’d be responsible for getting parents to volunteer for all the roles that are needed to successfully run the meet.

Every single person, including my daughter, who heard this proposal said “don’t do it” Flat out: “this is a very, very bad idea”.

I said, “yes.”

And the months that have unfolded since then have been full of glistening. I’ve had conversations on swim decks where this Coach will come up to me and say, “OK – I’m having a crisis of faith. Here are all the people that I know that are suffering, dying, have died, are in the hospital… and they are all my age”

And for the most part I’m listening and saying “gosh, I don’t know.”

But I’m realizing that this is what allows for glistening to happen: to be stunned in the midst of messiness,the light and the wet and the tears and the soppiness of life, by the beauty of connection, of unexpectedness that is formed in the midst of it all.

And what a gift it is…

…to find one another in the most unexpected places and realize that we can refract light off of each other, that we not only get to be witnesses of this glistening, but we are also an essential part of the whole process! We cast light and refract light as well.

John Paul Lederach says:

“To glisten: To be present with others in ways that help them shine into their deepest color, purpose, and wisdom.”

And this swim coach, by being her truly unfiltered self—exposing all her deepest messages of her soulat not a pre-determined time, or place—has helped me shine into my deepest color, purpose and wisdom. 

And so I wonder for you today what the gift of community looks like. Take a few minutes to look at the prompts and questions in your reflection packet now.

Conclusion

2018 has been a host of adventures, and 2019 will bring a lot more adventures, no doubt. At times this past year I’ve been drenched in tears: with sorrow and heartache as I watch division and violence and sickness ravage my close radius of life, and beyond my reach—tears of disappointment in myself, tears of fear, of failure or letting people down… AND

Tears of joy, as I see friends discover more of themselves and their own cadence of “one foot in front of another,” as I see my kids navigate their own new beginnings and discover themselves and their place in this world…

Tears of sweat of work and efforts of health, and the exertion and sheer energy it takes to do this life.

And yet, I’m coming to see that this is the ripest of conditions for glistening: without soppiness, it’s hard to glisten. And so I’ll try to not dry myself off and worry about staying presentable, but I’ll try instead to stay connected to God and others, in all that I am and TO all that God is.   

John Paul Lederach says:

That the presence of the Divine among us seems to follow simple guideposts… acceptance and equality are incarnated through the fundamental commitment that the sun and rain are offered to all. No exceptions

Rain has this intriguing quality. Droplets fall as individuated little spheres. Once splashed, however, rain spreads, melds, and flows. When mixed with the sudden appearance of the sun, it makes everything shine.

Rain glistens to everything.

God is offered to all.  No exceptions.

God glistens to everyone.  

And Genesis says:

14 God said, “Let there be lights in the dome of the sky to separate the day from the night. They will mark events, sacred seasons, days, and years. 15 They will be lights in the dome of the sky to shine on the earth.” And that’s what happened. 16 God made the stars and two great lights: the larger light to rule over the day and the smaller light to rule over the night. 17 God put them in the dome of the sky to shine on the earth, 18 to rule over the day and over the night, and to separate the light from the darkness. God saw how good it was.

There’s always light, offered to all.

God made two great lights. For the day and for the night.

There’s rain, offered to all.

There’s always the potential to glisten.

There is evening and there is morning—there is both, filled with light.

There is your day right now, filled with light, and there is your day tomorrow, and there are 365 days upon you in 2019—a landscape of glistening potential ahead of you.

In this year my friends, may you know that you are worthy of glistening.  In all that you named yourself to be at the beginning of the service. All of it. All of who you are is loved.  You are indeed the object of God’s desire, where His light can refract and spread in abundance to all those around you.  Yes, the dark spots you hope to hide and the spots out for all to see. The smooth surfaces, and the surfaces that hold the characteristic bumps and holes of life. .

May you know this as you enter 2019.

In Jesus’ holy, glistening, name.

Amen.

 

Community: Meeting Jesus Face to Face

It’s great to see you again this week. It’s rare for me to have the honor of being up here two weeks in a row – and what a joy it is!  Steve, our Senior Pastor, is getting the chance to watch his daughter run at her Cross Country States competition out in Western Massachusetts today. And later today I’ll get to watch my daughter swim at her high school States swimming competition at Harvard, so think of our strong, powerful girls today if it crosses your mind!

Steve, though, will be back up next week with a powerful talk to round out this sermon series. I got a little preview and it’s about both the destructive and saving power of institutions; it’s a good one! As a reminder: one service at 10:30am next Sunday and kids are with us!

Today, I’d love to continue with insights we’ve been sharing in this series called Your Faith Journey at Reservoir. We’ve been highlighting strands of Reservoir’s DNA that ensure an open, Jesus-centered approach to your faith journey. And we are taking a few weeks to talk about this to make sure the ethos of Reservoir—who we are and why we think about faith the way we do —really does shine through.

We’ve realized that it’s valuable to communicate this in a way that doesn’t leave anyone wondering if there is some “catch” attached or trade-off that’s required to feel like you belong in this community (if you want to!)

We hope to communicate that at the baseline, life with Jesus at the center is really, really good news, and it is full of personal invitations and ways to experience that goodness, like spiritual practices.  And, as a bonus, your faith journey doesn’t have to be one that you forge alone, but one that you get to share with others in community!

We administered a church-wide survey a few months ago on a Sunday morning with the hopes that we’d get some constructive feedback around where there might be gaps between your desired “needs” and what we were providing, either in services, classes, or other offerings. The survey results revealed some of that—although, certainly not enough voices in that direction to say it was a big theme—but it did reveal that you are mostly a really happy bunch, and that you primarily really value and like each other. You really like being part of this community.

This, too, has been my experience.  16 years or so ago, when we first started coming to services, we orbited around this place pretty hard.  Everyone was so kind! And I was so suspicious of this KINDNESS—suspicious that there would be an agenda attached to said niceness, suspicious that there would be a list of “do’s and don’ts” to adhere to, suspicious of the Nutella that was offered at the bagel table in the morning (that was definitely a suspicious , red flag).  I was concerned that there was going to be a prescribed way to make sure my own holiness could be formed—a prescriptive way to really belong. Each week I was a little on edge, waiting for the conditions for me to really be welcomed to drop in my seat.

But what we found instead was that the people that make up this community of Reservoir are genuine, don’t put up much of any false front, and are indeed incredibly, suspiciously kind.  And so we dared enough to stop orbiting for a second, and land long enough to inspect this kindness at a ground-level, face-to-face. And what we found through so many of you was that we got to meet Jesus face to face.

I think I could shrug at the church survey results and say meh—great.  We created this big survey to try to identify our pain points, and instead found out that—surprise—we are all really kind human beings who love and follow Jesus as best we can, and we like each other.

I could look at these survey results and say “Holy Cats!” We are all really nice, kind human beings who love and follow Jesus as best we can, and we love being around each other. And that is really substantial data!

Because here at Reservoir, we don’t have the extra qualifiers, the “do’s and the don’ts”—the set of beliefs to adhere to that allow you to be “really in,” or “really lead,” or “really belong.”  What we have though, is Jesus.  And we take Jesus pretty seriously!  We don’t compromise or divide Jesus! And we also have our unique selves that carry a host of different opinions and perspectives about life, and even on matters of faith—and yet we still want to be around each other!?

I think this survey actually points us to a deeper well of data—that what makes this posture of kindness so piercingly evident is not a result of us all being on the same page about everything, but it’s actually a marker of difference.  I know that sounds weird. But I think the kindness you might encounter here in this community is actually a product of an approach we’ve infused into our ethos—one that helps us lean in to one another with goodwill and curiosity even when we disagree. And it’s called the Third Way.
Scott and I both come from faith-filled households.  I kept to a lot of the rules-based, FAITH rhetoric that was ingrained in me – at an early age – all the way into my early adult years – without much investigation.  By the time Scott and I met – he would have described himself as agnostic – not convinced enough to say that there was no HIGHER power – but convinced enough that perhaps we all should spend more energy on the ground, helping people in the world around us – rather than pontificating/praying/or talking about it…

 

We had many spirited conversations around faith – in our 3 years of being together before we got engaged. In that time – I would say we both moved fairly substantially in the ways that we thought about God, and imagined what a life journey with Him would look like.

 

WHen Scott asked for my parents blessing – for us to be married – he talked quite a bit with them, about what a Journey of faith with God, meant to him – that indeed it was more of a journey , more of a relationship – a discovery….. rather than a specific moment in time. My parents probably were more hopeful for the “SPECIFIC MOMENT IN TIME – ANSWER”. This view of salvation – achieved through a very specific prayer – would ensure that someone was definitely “IN” the family of God. .. Because than it would be clearer to grant blessing on a marriage -to-be that was “equally yoked”.  (both proven believers).

 

While my parents framework and the success of their own marriage up to that point – really hinged on a more “sinner’s prayer” type of structure – for true salvation – to “really be in the family of God” –  it was meaningful for them to hear of Scott’s open-ness to keep discovering the love of Jesus as he walked along his life.. And understand a bit more of where he was coming from and why….and Likewise meaningful for Scott to hear my parents reasoning for their perspective and belief.

 

In many ways this face-to-face conversation allowed for a Third Way, where there were differing thoughts about a life with God and the implications of a  life with God – would look like. It allowed Scott and my parents a way to not remain in their “Theological” corners – being mystified and judging each other… This THIRD WAY seemed to provide a way forward, even though they didn’t necessarily see eye to eye.

 

And that really is what the “Third Way” approach tries to help with.  It’s an approach to being together in a faith community centered around Jesus.  It applies to any  disputable matter –  over which followers of Jesus, “agree to disagree”. The term was coined by our friend and pastor Ken Wilson, in a letter that he wrote to his congregation ..when they were navigating through the LGBTQ controversy which was proving to be a disputable matter for their community.

 

It’s worth a moment on what a disputable matter is – and I’ve been helped by theologian, Roger E. Olson – who makes a distinction – to start – between 3 types of biblical beliefs:

DOGMA, DOCTRINE and OPINION.

1- Dogma  – is understood as the basics of human faith … statements about who God is and particularly who Jesus is, and his death and resurrection.   If you differ on these points, you likely are talking about a different faith than Christianity.

 

– the other  biblical belief is:

2-Doctrine –  boils down to  what you regard as implications from your dogma.  The hot disputes of a given era usually fall into this category.   In the example of Scott and my parents.. My parents viewpoint that “Salvation” as a moment in time event –  is a key implication of their dogma of who God is.  God is perfectly powerful and holy. So my parents believe that we too must achieve such holiness… by saying a specific set of words to prove that holiness.  This specific way of salvation- is quite tied to their view of God, to dogma.

*So the key is to see that this viewpoint is tied to my parents dogma, but it is not itself the dogma..  Does that make sense?  It’s an implication. It’s doctrine.  DOCTRINAL disputes tend to be the things that cause movements or communities of Jesus followers to splinter. It’s why we have 1,000’s and 1,000’s of christian denominations.

And OPINION is everything else. We all have these!  Preferences of what makes a good sermon – preferences on what the best worship music is – (while other people have the complete opposite opinion on the same thing!)

And there is nothing wrong with these opinions, even theological opinions – so long as we recognize they’re not doctrine or – DOGMA…and don’t use them as a way to exclude or to harm.

 

So that helps us – suss out a little more what – A DISPUTABLE MATTER is – that it

  1. Isn’t a matter of Chrsitian dogma,
  2. THat it often brings two biblical (t)ruths into dynamic tension
  3. And otherwise faithful followers of Jesus – disagree over it.

 

And in some ways I feel like – oh, this is all really helpful – and in other ways I feel like – “oh this get’s  pretty complicated, pretty quickly.!”

 

The disputes of our time are so much more intense and fraught – divisive and woven into all of it are political lines – that affect and harm real people in our midst!   How could this THIRD WAY help us in practicality with such huge matters?

 

I think it’s helpful to go back to the early church timeline and see what followers of Jesus wrestled with….

And I’m going to go back to the earliest version of christian community –  BEFORE – the movement of churches springing forth in Acts – to when  Jesus called his first disciples.

 

These earliest followers of Jesus, were  an odd collection of humanity that came together.  They came together in community to share stories of their lives, to break bread and eat together – and to encourage one another! It sounds so lovely – so straightforward and maybe like a magical era of Christianity?   It must have been true that this early era of Christianity was so enraptured by the Jesus that moved and walked among them – that UNITY just naturally outflowed from them?

 

Um… no!

Did we skip over the part about them being an odd collection of humanity!?

There was a whole lot of difference in the earliest community of Jesus …

 

The first Twelve followers of Jesus infact – all came from different social backgrounds, they also represented diametrically opposed philosophical and political viewpoints.  Matthew, the tax collector was content enough with Roman rule to represent the government in an official capacity.  Simon the Zealot, was a member of a group that sought the expulsion of the Romans and the regaining of Jewish independence.

 

And yet Jesus asked them to become the initial community  – the people that would represent and spread more of who Jesus was to others!

 

And so I think Jesus is giving us a little window into how he regards unity and difference – and perhaps how they are less opposites than we want them to be. . .

 

It was pretty evident from early on that unity – did not mean the same political views, or that everybody was doing and believing the same thing – singing the same hymns, observing Sabbath, or following the same diet  – or reading the same scriptures or telling the same story.

 

The early followers of Jesus, “YES” put a great emphasis on unity among one another – but they squabbled with one another over what kind of unity they were to have.

 

Seems clear that  even then, different implications of dogma, who they viewed God to be…presented along pretty serious disputable lines… That there was from the very beginning different ways of interpreting the fundamental message – of what following Jesus in our lives should entail – … “What does it mean of our cultural practices?  How Jewish are we to be? How Greek are we to be? How do we adapt to the surrounding culture – what is the real meaning of the resurrection of Jesus?  How important is the death of Jesus? Maybe it’s the sayings of Jesus that are really the important things….?”

 

And we see these squabbles continue to play out over time – where diverse groups of individuals and communities – feel so distinct about their way of seeing things – that they’d like everyone else to agree with them.

 

This is how bounded sets are birthed, right.  Bounded sets – where there is a clear “You are in” – or “you are out” criteria.   Most often – the ways “in” are from a generous posture. SOmeone has encountered something so good – that they want you to experience it too, just through the exact same steps that they took..

 

And yet, in that process –  what is often overlooked is the way that their particular culture  – or political viewpoint, or opinion – become intertwined with God.  THat it is now God’s culture, God’s political viewpoint, etc..and that becomes the highest truth.

 

And that quest for sameness – that picture of UNITY (above all else) – becomes the very catalyst for division.

 

It wasn’t that long ago that people killed each other over biblical interpretation of  baptism. “infant baptism or adult baptism – should we sprinkle, drip or douse…”… and still issues more recent in the church that have been controversial – like

whether and when, remarriage after divorce is accepted, or whether killing in war is the moral equivalent of murder, to what level women in leadership are welcomed – and whether gay marriage is supported or not – ALL of these have been highly disputed matters in faith communities.  That still to this day are not resolved.

 

The apostle Paul, actually has some helpful things to say along the lines of disputable matters.  He reflected quite a lot about the difficulties that different cultures have in working through their varying perspectives.  “He’s the guy that argued that among Jesus’ most important, most central miracles was “breaking dividing walls” between cultures”… (** Blue Ocean Faith, Dave Schmelzer). .  And he writes letters to these diverse churches that have formed – one of them being this church in Corinth…

 

Here’s what he says in one of his letters, you can read this on your program:

 

I Corinthians 1:10- 12 (NIV)
10 I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought. 11 My brothers and sisters, some from Chloe’s household have informed me that there are quarrels among you. 12 What I mean is this: One of you says, “I follow Paul”; another, “I follow Apollos”; another, “I follow Cephas”; still another, “I follow Christ.”
13 Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized in the name of Paul? 14 I thank God that I did not baptize any of you except Crispus and Gaius, 15 so no one can say that you were baptized in my name. 16 (Yes, I also baptized the household of Stephanas; beyond that, I don’t remember if I baptized anyone else.) 17 For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel – not with wisdom and eloquence, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.

 

I follow Paul.. and his way of thinking and speaking of Jesus.

I follow APollos – this Jewish man – who is well versed and eloquent in the scripture.

I follow Cephas – Peter, he lived with and spoke with and ate with Jesus.

 

I think Paul is saying – “I get it” – I get that you want to follow the particulars of how each of these people depict Jesus.  That’s actually ok – Just don’t anchor yourself in this doctrine – don’t see it as immovable dogma.  Don’t get violent about it ! OR use your position/opinion as a way to judge others or exclude others from their own view of Jesus’ face.

 

Because that’s actually what divides Jesus – our stake that we throw in the ground – that we’ll live or die by… versus a more humble posture of .. “well, I’m pretty sure the way Apollos speaks of scripture is the most Jesus-y… than Peter, and I’m going to follow my conscience here – but I’m open to the belief that Peter also knows and speaks of  Jesus from his truest vantage point?

 

Eugene Peterson’s words, in his translation, The Message – of this passage, use a little more direct language – that maybe gets us to the heart of Paul’s message here: “Has the Messiah been chopped up into little pieces so we can each have a relic all our own?”

Worded this way – it’s pretty piercing right? It’s worth thinking about where and how we might be doing the chopping? That leads to a pretty splintered picture of Jesus for ourselves and anyone else.

 

MY STORY continued:

Scott and I got engaged pretty quickly after his conversation with my parents. And equally as quickly set a wedding date for just 3 months away.

 

Scott’s priest from his childhood church was booked and my childhood church required a fairly extensive pre-marital class, that we wouldn’t have time for – BUT in the state of Maine – you  – like here in MA – can get a one-day designation of justice of the peace.

 

And so we decided to go that route…

We wanted to be thoughtful about who we asked, and ultimately decided to ask my brother if he would marry us.   He was at that point contending with which seminary program he would enter into – and so we felt like he would take this role on with a degree of thoughtfulness and reverane.

 

And he did.

 

He considered our request.

 

And then turned us down.

 

He felt like God wouldn’t bless our marriage  – again – revisiting a similar belief that my parents had drawn attention to – that to be a true “believer” there needed to be a declaration on Scott’s end – to this point.

 

Grrr – I was so mad. And so hurt.

 

I felt like he was SO WRONG!  I mean so, so, so wrong. Not only just made a poor decision – but like FUNDAMENTALLY got Jesus wrong.

And I thought – how will we move forward?  How can I look at him every time I see him at holidays – like Thanksgiving and Christmas – and actually care about him?

How can I Bless his pursuits of life – his pursuit of Jesus at seminary and beyond?

 

The apostle Paul had given a lot of thought to this THird Way approach – even before we read his words in the letter to Corinth.  He enjoined the members of the church to “agree to disagree” over disputable matters – which in his time – were likely whether Christians could eat meat that had been sacrificed to idols, or whether Sabbath observance was obligatory (big deals – because they were the first and fourth commandment issues respectively.)

*”And he called for members of the church to fully accept each other in Jesus, even if some were regarded as gravely mistaken in their beliefs or practices in the disputed matters.

He insisted that they refrain from judging each other, trusting that whatever was on the table – field of concern – was left for God.

And he actually urged them to maintain their respective convictions, honoring those who had differing ones –  as long as they were sincerely seeking to move toward Jesus.” – Ken Wilson, *https://www.readthespirit.com/third-way-newsletter/third-way-nutshell-ken-wilson/.

Over the last few decades, I’ve seen controversial issues come not only to my personal, family- life – but into churches – into our community at Reservoir as well….And I’ve seen the value of this Third Way play out. Taking the lead from Paul – and Jesus – it seems we need to err on the side of inclusion –  to refrain from judgement – we need to keep people at the table, even in controversial – disputable matters.

 

The Third Way supports community!  Because it doesn’t suggest that we ignore  difference … it doesn’t just make a way for those of us who may land on different sides of a disputable matter to hang out in our separate silos and never cross paths..  It actually requires us to enact Jesus’ ministry at it’s purest/most simple form.  To invite people – As was true of the first disciples – to share their stories, to share bread with them – and encourage one another …  WITH a posture of goodwill and understanding….

 

MY STORY:

I realized with my BROTHER, that I was mostly afraid.  Afraid that conflict would blow us up – that I wouldn’t be able to look at him the same way again – Afraid that he would think Scott and I were some sort of false followers of Jesus.

And I couldn’t think of how to sit face to face with him – without this SUBJECT matter (which I clearly thought was JESUS and ME) being discussed, actively.  And that we would have to come to the same understanding of what “salvation” and “sin” and “ Jesus” were – before we could truly love each other.

 

I’ve realized though that the third way doesn’t mean that we have a goal of coming out of a disputable matter  BEING ON THE SAME PAGE… I think the pressure to say we have to get to some sort of “agreement” works against really understanding one another.  But when we, as people that disagree with each other come together with a goal of gaining a BETTER understanding of why the other believes what they do – good things come from that and are infused into the fabric of our families and faith communities.

 

THIS doesn’t come without tension though – because oh, there will be tension.

This is why – I think the kindness of our community – is actually in direct representation of our ability to hold each other’s differences well…  because it forces us, in the tension to rely and to trust in the God who speaks and guides.  And this releases the pressure on us to be right.  And shifts the work to God – where his specialty is to be all powerful and all loving.

 

My brother and I did not avoid the controversy – but I do think we were both faithful to God through the controversy.  There’s ways even today – that I think he probably was wrong in his choice… and I’m sure there’s ways that he would still make that same choice today, and extend NO MORAL APPROVAL for us getting married when we did ….    BUT i’m helped by remembering that ….

The gospel – this good news of Jesus –  transcends moral approval as the basis for acceptance, belonging, or unity in the Spirit.

As a follower of Jesus – I can see that I am not called to give, demand or receive moral approval from anther.

 

ANd this is really helpful when I’m sitting at the table with my brother.

 

We don’t need to seek this approval – because we are all IN  Christ – and an undivided CHRIST – who already has received the approval of GOD.

 

Further along in Corinthians, chapter 3,  Paul circles back to the scripture we just read and he says to us:

“ Do you not know that you yourselves are God’s temple, and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?  Everything is already yours, as a gift – whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future – all of it is yours,  and you belong, already –  so don’t divide Jesus in an effort to gain that – rest in the belief that you belong – because you are in union with Christ, who is in union with God. “

 

And this is what matters, my friends. This is the gift of community at REservoir that you do belong. Already. From the moment you walk in the door – because the table is big enough.  God infact is big enough.

 

Do I BELONG anymore?  THis is what bubbled up for me –  in this situation with my brother?  AM I still accepted – seen in the same way?  My brother’s decision and his biblical backing –  suggested to me – that I really didn’t belong.. .   AND I Could run with that belief – pretty quickly, and start building up walls to protect myself from that perceived ejection.    I could have started “writing messages on Facebook or Twitter”, that tells him how WRONG his conscience and theology is. That berates him and judges him for his perceived lack of understanding and breadth of the Scriptures.

 

But instead, we choose – to sit face to face.  And a lot of those questions fell to the sides as I saw the face of Jesus in my brother.

HOW SHOULD WE STAY IN COMMUNITY?

Invite. Engage. Be curious of one another.  This seems to be the way in practicality that we stay in community with one another.

 

2 John 1:12

12 I have much to write to you, but I do not want to use paper and ink. Instead, I hope to visit you and talk with you face to face, so that our joy may be complete.

 

FACE TO FACE – gah, could it be true that Jesus’ model of ministry and community – was by being in quality relationships…. Yes quality relationship between unlikely people – and meeting them face to face around a table?

Jesus’ time on earth shows us that he is  not afraid to drink and eat!  Scholars say that Jesus ate his way through the gospels with these “unlikely people”.  Luke’s account in particular either shows Jesus going to  a table, at a table, or coming from a table.’ So much so that his enemies accuse him of being ‘a glutton and a drunkard’ .

 

It’s in Jesus’ table ministry – that I think we truly learn how to feed one another  – and be fed – and that maybe disputable matters are always a course to digest  – even where we aren’t accustomed to the taste – in the ones we least expect to learn from…..…

 

I read something recently that said “Jesus shows us the reality that the pages of the story of Him are filled with [face to face moments] -quiet conversations, with walks in the field, with hands upon weary shoulders, with loving meals around the table.  That there were wounds mended, feet that were washed, bread that was broken. And that these moments were as real and powerful and life altering as any tearful worship service prayer. HE absolutely preached on the hillsides and in the towns and in the synagogues – but if that was all he did – we’d have a far shorter New Testament” (Pavlovitz, A Bigger Table, p. 99-100).  He seemed to have as much reverence for the table as he did the tabernacle”.

 

Jesus cares about us continuing to meet face to face.  Because he cares about us getting the best picture of him possible.

If I demand that someone else think, prefer – interpret or view God in the

particular way that I do- then I splice Jesus – I chop God into tiny pieces that I stamp with my particular brand.  AND this move denies the fundamental belief that God was and is a God of the whole world – (not just the world as I see it.)

 

It takes conscious effort and energy – to build in the trust that the seats at each other’s tables arent’ conditional – aren’t based on agreement, but extended in love.  And this is an ongoing work – because we change – our lives and circumstances may suggest different ways of thinking about God – and we have to take the table seriously – so no one is fearful that the chair will be pulled out from under them – as life presents itself.

 

TURNS out that this does actually hinge on  WHAT I BELIEVE about JESUS. … that Jesus sets a big enough table for all of us – ….for the ones that hurt us, the ones who we are convinced are wrong, the ones who may believe that we get Jesus “wrong” ….and trust that the centerpiece of that table is this big – unfractured Jesus.  ANd that HE”ll do the great work of making that picture of himself be clear to the people at the table.

 

THe one who calls people to himself, the one who doesn’t demand that we have the right answer –  about anything – EVEN HIM. But the one who shows us again and again that the CENTER OF CHRISTIAN FAITH is not necessarily a book – but A TABLE.

 

BIG COURAGE & LITTLE COMFORT

As we embrace these big tables.  May you ENACT COURAGE. AND VULNERABILITY.as you pull up your chair.

 

Courage to sit with those we passionately disagree with.

Courage to lean in with a posture of understanding.

Courage to listen and resist the urge to persuade!

It is indeed a heroic effort of vulnerability –  I’ve had to sit next to my brother who thinks that my marriage was not acknowledged in the eyes of God – and only with this third way approach – can I gleefully – hold and snuggle his babies – and actively care about his life and his health – and his goals and his overall purpose in God’s kingdom!

 

It is vulnerable to welcome – and make space for belonging over exclusion.

 

But I realize that I don’t want to shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces.  I want to continue to meet face to face with whoever it might be… and rest solidly that the person I might be in controversy with – is still sitting at the mighty, big table of Jesus with me! So that when I meet God face to face some day – our first conversation isn’t about why I kept so many people from the Kingdom of Heaven. (Dave Schmelzer p. 94).

 

COMMUNITY GROUPS

We are a community here – at REservoir – who enjoys being together.  (if this Church survey is correct!) Who values this picture of community – a beautiful, motley crew – with wildly different backgrounds and cultures and perspectives and OPINIONS.   AND we very much use Jesus’ model this OPEN TABLE invitation ….as the framework, if any of community.

 

Where people – make it a priority – to gather around tables every week.   Where the commonality is not a shared set of perspectives or positions, or a shared conscience … the commonality is that EQUAL WELCOME is FOUND, and BELONGING without contingencies – is apparent.

 

The 12 disciples experienced something that was so compelling about Jesus – that they would leave their nets and sit around a table together  – but still hold on to all their differences – IN THIS I think they were able to see each other fully – face-to-face and in turn see the FULL face of Jesus.

This is the great gift of community.

So I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.

May Jesus, himself, be the unifying force, that bridges division and makes way for difference in our lives.

Tip for Whole Life Flourishing

If you find yourself in the tension of differing viewpoints, this week -(MAYBE AROUND THE tHANKSGIVING TABLE) – ask Jesus to help you release the agenda to persuade and embrace the posture of listening and understanding.

Spiritual Practice of the Week:

Reach out to one of the people you named in the question of the day. If you can, reach out in a way that allows for face-to-face connection and invite that person to your table.

This text is the preacher’s prepared text, and is not an exact transcript. Please forgive minor discrepancies that may exist with the recording.

Balm for the Soul: Your Spiritual Practices

Last week we started this mini- four-week series, called Your Faith Journey at Reservoir, which I’m really excited about!  Because Pastor Steve and I get to offer some insights—some things about Reservoir—we cherish and think you might too!  And whether you feel new, or stuck, disinterested, or like a wise old traveler along this faith journey, we think these thoughts will be helpful in the expanse in all of your life—far beyond even this community at Reservoir.

The hope is to highlight today how Reservoir can provide options for you to experience our good God that is at the center of all of our lives, and put on display a little bit how you are not only welcomed by Jesus, but actively invited again and again into a life that He hopes for you—a life that would feel abundant, flourishing and whole, and totally do-able.

[Community moment here]

Today we’ll talk a bit about what these good invitations from God look like, and how finding ways to intentionally practice opening these invitations—to experience, trust and know the love of God as an anchor deep within ourselves—can be very impactful.  I’m going to talk about “spiritual practices”—these many, many personal pathways that I feel like God outlays for us in our lives—and how so many have been built in to the deep well of Christian traditions—the Bible, prayer, fasting—and  also how so many of these practices can be found in the non-traditional pathways that are present in our lives at every turn—all of them holding the distinct promise that you will experience God’s love as you become more aware and bold to accept these invitations.


“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

   his mercies never come to an end;

23they are new every morning;

   great is your faithfulness.

God your mercies are new every morning”.

My Story:

This phrase, this language of “spiritual practice” seemed to greet me  long before I could utter my own language with much clarity.  

And I realized this, as I’ve mentioned before, through a year-long transformational listening class that we did as a staff facilitated by a spiritual director.  As part of that class every person was to form and share their spiritual autobiography.

This is a spiritual practice of looking at the story of God’s interaction in your life—It’s your own spiritual story line.

I succeeded at punting my time of sharing for the full 9 months of the class.

I like to use the excuse that I’m an “internal processor”, but 9 months is a bit of a stretch to say, “I’m still processing”, so the greater part honestly is sheer procrastination, which is also a really great skill of mine.

But each time that we would meet—listening to others share their own spiritual autobiographies—I realized HOW HARD it was to look back and delineate what in my life was a “spiritual moment/where God was interacting”, and which of them weren’t. SO MUCH as I look back over my life now feels like God was always interacting in some capacity.

So as a result, as I listened to people share, I would be simultaneously writing my own spiritual autobiography in my mind. And each time it was very different, because so many different memories would pop up, along my life spectrum, as being infused with God.

However, one memory that didn’t shift in each iteration of my spiritual story line was this memory, again, long before I had robust vocabulary, and certainly long before any spiritual language—and it was this memory of swinging on a swing in my front yard.

And it stands out as oddly not just a singular memory, but kind of the sense that this was a repeated moment in my childhood—that I did this a lot: a stockpile of similar memories, all in that one picture.

We were poor enough that I didn’t have a functioning swing set, but innovative enough that my grandfather had built this simple post-and-beam frame with a rope hanging down and a wooden seat with notches on the end.  

My memory is likely around 3-4 yrs of age—swinging freely and blissfully and alone on this swing—singing the refrain of a well known childhood, actually pretty church-y song: “Jesus loves me – this I know”.

And while there are more words to that song, I would only sing this refrain over and over again: ”Jesus loves me – this I know…”  ”Jesus loves me – this I know…” ”Jesus loves me – this I know…”

As I look back over my life now, this could have been my first spiritual practice— swinging and singing. But I realized that it has become more than that—I realized that it is the unmovable anchor and root of any spiritual practice that I have engaged with over my whole life.  That these pathways—these spiritual practices—however varied they might be for each of us, will lead us into this very same refrain: “Jesus loves me this I know”.

And this is the compelling act of a spiritual practice:  To discover afresh again and again—as an anchor in our day—in our busy rhythms the piercing love of God for us – in the midst.

This taste of Jesus’ love for me is what has afforded me the most healthy spiritual growth in my life, and has allowed me to incorporate spiritual practices into my days—not as a duty or performance or striving for spiritual greatness, but as a deep soul elixir that softens my posture to one of more humility, perspective and grace.  

And this is super helpful because my spiritual journey is a quest—a hard fought quest—where actually not all of it has felt like swinging blissfully on a swing. Because we all live here on earth, in this nation, in the midst of all the realities of life—the real tugs, the real people that hate, the real sicknesses that rob life, the real disappointments. We need practice!  It absolutely takes practice to keep Jesus’ love in sight given our landscapes. And we need our great teacher, Jesus, to help us do this!

I read recently in a book by friends Ken Wilson & Emily Swann – “that all of us are theologians to the extent that we seek to be students of God”.

And so today I invite you all to practice being students of God—to consider yourselves both life-long learners (with humilty) in the great subject matter of “love”, “and grace” and “trust”, and also to consider yourselves great theologians—that through spiritual practices you will gain a knowing, a knowledge, that goes beyond understanding, that sets up deep in your soul—the greatest knowledge that there might be, that you are an expert in knowing that you are without fail deeply loved by God.

And may the spiritual  practices that we explore today, that are  innovative, alternative and also traditional, be ones that transform you and keep you close to this Jesus that you practice to know.

Our hearts, it seems, need the balm that spiritual practices can offer us—to soothe, to heal, to keep our hearts from shattering into a million pieces, and also to be able to function in the way our hearts were made to be—to pump empathy and compassion and gentleness into the spaces  and people around us.

That’s a lot, by the way.  Can a spiritual practices actually aid in all of that? It seems slightly overwhelming. And it makes me stiffen a little bit internally.

But spiritual practices in all their glory – actually do make way for God to do all those things! And this allows me to relax a little bit by bringing some perspective into my life that helps me see a broader scope of life against my very human tendency to narrow the scope of life when I’m fumbling and feeling overwhelmed.

I’ve seen this perspective-shift play out in my marriage. Scott and I have been married for 17 years, and our conflicts are often about the most narrow/tiny aspects of our lives. Where the landscape though feels ripe for perspective-losing. One long-standing conflict is around how we park our cars in the drive-way: We have small, narrow driveway. I park head-in first, and then Scott will park behind me because he leaves first in the morning. Often, often, often – I do not pull my car all the way into the driveway, which means he can’t pull in behind me (and in our town you can’t park your car on the street overnight).

And this whole scenario is entirely frustrating to Scott, mostly because he sees life as this great opportunity for all of us to make logical choices… and the logical option as he sees it – is that I would just pull my car all the way into the driveway every single time I come home.

For me, it’s an entirely logical and sensible and smart choice, and actually the only clear way-to-pull-my-car-into-the-driveway choice.  Because I pull my car in so that my car door lines up perfectly with the tiny walkway that cuts across our lawn, which is the most efficient route to our front door. Which makes a ton of logical sense because I am often carrying a crap-ton of stuff:  groceries, a work bag or two, a swim bag, a kids backpack. It used to be that I would be carrying a kid or two, a car seat. And so the quickest route to the door ensured that my body would endure the least amount of pain and load.

Over the years, you might be able to see how we’ve stayed in a fairly contentious – pattern around this!

And our different contexts and terms by which we define “logical” set us up for no common intersectionality and no ability to see or hear one another fully.   This built-up/fraught energy  is often the energy that Scott will walk into the house with on any given evening when I’ve chosen/forgotten to not move the car in.  He’s immediately frustrated, feels forgotten, and that his values for logical-ness are overlooked.

The core of this on-going disagreement is, yes, not seeing eye to eye, yes, defining “logical” on very different terms, but also losing perspective/sight of each other’s hearts—that they were made and designed to pump with empathy, compassion and gentleness, which might be the impasse of every dispute that we witness across our familial and national lines.

Very quickly, when I’ve lost sight of Scott’s heart I can take his words like an arrow,  and no longer are we talking about the driveway, but talking about my worth as a human being:  I’m stupid, that the roles that I play and duties I do are of less value, that you don’t care about my aching body, that he doesn’t actually care about me and my heart.  

And likewise, I can stand there and appear to be listening to his reasons for why this aggravates him, but be internally rolling my eyes, and very quickly in the midst of it detach from reality,  lose perspective and see Scott as my rival and maybe to imagine him as a paper version of himself – that I get to take and crumple into a tiny ball and chuck across the room.  For instance.

How we live in our hearts is our real and deepest truth.  Spiritual practices help us get to our hearts and to practice vulnerability and intimacy with Jesus, so that we can do and extend the same with others.

FRED ROGERS

As so I began thinking—who have I encountered that can offer a different picture than this?  Who maybe is calm and level-headed and in touch with reality? And I thought of someone who perhaps many of us have encountered, who shows us such a great picture of the impact of  spiritual practice in their life.

So I’d love to show you a clip of “Fred Rogers Documentary”, who was indeed a priest of our times.

 

 

“Everything that Fred Rogers did was a prelude to – or an outcome of – spiritual practice”.

The Simple Faith of Mister Rogers by Amy Hollingsworth

Viewing Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood was a spiritual practice in and of itself for so many. His consistent, kind presence, the neighborhood that he created, provided a safe familiarity where viewers could feel close to something good, and that that something good would always be there when they turned on their TV each day.

And all of this—his quirky, hypnotic, very slow speaking-cadence, the bare-bones production set, the inauspicious approach to child entertainment—was cultivated out of Fred Rogers’s own spiritual life .

SPIRITUAL PRACTICES HELP US HAVE PERSPECTIVE, HUMILITY and GRACE:

Excerpts below taken from, “The Simple Faith of Mister Rogers” by Amy Hollingsworth

Fred Rogers’ real life included a sense of ceremony.  His daily practices were deeply ingrained into his rhythm of life—he woke at 5am to slow down, take time and appreciate silence—to engage in prayer.

Each morning he prayed for his family, his friends by name, and to remember those that had passed on.

His prayers wouldn’t end there – but continued into his 7:30am daily swim, where before diving into the pool, he would sing out loud “Jubilate Deo” (you-bee-latte    day-0) (a song Henri Nouwen had taught him from the Taize (TAY – ZAY) community in France. “Jubilate Deo, jubilate Deo, alleluia (“rejoice in the lord, rejoice in the lord – allelulia”).    

As he walked into his workday he would pray,  “Dear God, let some word that is heard today, be Yours”, and not just the spoken words that would be televised, but the numerous decisions that he had to make daily.  This is his biggest concern, that someone would encounter God via his words. Perspective! All others concerns paled in comparison!

I watched countless footage of Mr. Rogers these past couple of days—I watched, I think every commencement speech he’s ever given and also his “Lifetime Emmy Award” speech, and in those videos he would invite entire graduating classes—like BU—and all of the celebrities at the Emmy’s to engage in a spiritual practice as well – he would pose a question, that got them thinking of their own life  – the people in it – give them space and silence to reflect and give thanks – and just like that he gave people the gift of perspectivethe gift to relax for a moment and feel a sense of connection beyond themselves—to feel and encounter the warmth of love as they knew it: The very heart of spiritual practice.

Indeed his life of spiritual practice seemed to cultivate a flow of love from his internal space to the external world and usher in the perspective that the “greatest thing you can do is to help somebody know that they are loved and capable of loving”.  These habitual practices allowed him an internal anchoring in his days –  that allowed him to essentially pour out and lay down his life for so many.

John, in his first epistle invites us all to consider this very same lifestyle – with his words (as on your program):

I John 3: 16 – 18 (NRSV)
We know love by this, that Jesus laid down his life for us — and we ought to lay down our lives for one another. How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help? Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.

 

Lay down your life for another?
What are the world’s goods?
What’s truth versus word or speech?

There’s a lot in there!

 

Let me see if I can’t flush this out a bit as I follow up on the story of me and Scott and the parking situation.

A little while ago before I’d fall asleep at night, I started a spiritual practice—not just because of this parking stuff, but maybe an internal tenor of distance that I was  realizing in my heart about our marriage. Each night I started putting my hand on Scott’s shoulder as he slept and saying a short prayer, “God thank you for this person, and thank you for my love for him and your  love for him and the love that resides within him”.

It was a spiritual practice, because it was not the case that every night at the end of a long day I would bound to bed, overwhelmed with radiant, sparkly love for this guy – ehm – it was a spiritual practice because it didn’t always feel natural.

It wasn’t a practice generated by  feelingsit was a practice of intention. I had to remind myself to do it as a habit, and it turns out that Scott was just the focal point of my practice but the practice was really essential for my soul. And how gracious I would find that Jesus is to give our souls just what we need. It proved to be a re-centering.  A prayer that took me back to my own knowing of Jesus and me on the swing: “Jesus loves me this I know”.  A practice that reminded me I didn’t need to defend or fight for or throw up barbs around my value or my uniqueness or more forgetfulness or my mistakes, that Jesus loved me and could be trusted right in the midst. And a practice that helped me not forget grace.  Because without grace I would not experience any life-giving part of relationship in my marriage or elsewhere.

And this helped me live more out of a sense of life and freedom – rather than death. Out of this simple, spiritual practice we now talk across our household with this new language of what it looks like and feels like to be “FOR” each other: to remind each other again and again that we are on the same team.

This is a heroic heart change—and that is the power of a spiritual practice, that it can change and transform your heart at a cellular level. And if we are inclined to talk about spiritual growth – that’s where growth lies! Because the habit of going to God as your anchor each day re-centers you, draws you out of all the real tugs that can vie for your attention, and it ushers in a sensitivity, a generosity of heart that can’t be explained. It stretches and implores you to move with compassion and empathy – even in the midst of disagreements —to lead with love,

So much so that you would as John suggests, “lay down your life for each other”, 

So much so, that you would sacrifice your own very “logical” explanation of parking in the driveway the way you do”,

So much so, that you would sacrifice “having to be right”,

So much so that you would sacrifice your ANGER and frustration,

…and lay it down for a moment to see that Jesus too sings with and loves the person on the other side of your dispute.

And this is the mystical work of Jesus who transforms a way of living out of death into living whole-heartedly with abundance and flourishing.

And this is deep balm to our souls.

The world’s goodsas John speaks of in the verses we just read—I believe are practical resources we have that we should share, like food, clothing, shelter- practical help like Claire mentioned last week – of seeing someone on the side of the road……   and I also believe they are the unseen goods  – the Jesus’ goods that lay about in our world too…  the compassion, the empathy, the softness , the love – that are the gems – the treasures – embedded in the fabric of our world – because they are IN US.   THAT we are implored to share – to our brothers and sisters -as we unearth them through spiritual practices.

 

I absolutely ….still …only remember to pull into all of the driveway FULLY, about a ⅓ or so of the time…..

 

So perhaps spiritual practices aren’t  necessarily designed to make sure we get more things right in life … or that our behavior would become perfection…

 

BUT Maybe spiritual practices allow us to stand in the midst of all that we get wrong in life – the ways that we hurt each other sometimes – and  become as Fred Roger’s says, “the person that is so apparently in touch with truth, that you just want to continually be in their presence.”  

 

I want to be this person.  

and I want to be so in touch with truth… the truth of who I am – and the truth of God’s love – that it attracts people…..

I want Scott to WANT to be in my presence…

I want my kids to WANT to be in my presence…

I want my friends, and strangers and my enemies to WANT to be in my presence…. Because the presence of GOD is so apparent…..and so very, very good.

This truth that John advises us to love with – is worth a couple of seconds, I think… because the access to “Truth” is often framed in prescriptive ways – and can become de-personalized pretty quickly…

 

My childhood song, “Jesus loves me – this I know”—if I were to fill out the rest of that verse—prescribes a very distinct way to KNOW this love of Jesus, and that is through studying the Bible: “Jesus loves me, this I know – for the Bible tells me so”…

Now, let me also say this—absolutely this is correct. If you read the Bible you can read of the distinct love that God has for you without a doubt:

  • John 3:16 “For God so loved you – that He gave you His only son”…
  • John 13  “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other.  Just as I have loved you, “
  • Zephaniah “The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love,”
  • 1 John 3:1 “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!”
  • Song of Songs 2:4 “His banner over me is love.”
  • Psalm 119:64  The earth is filled with your love, O Lord…”  

And my goodness, I have spent a great amount of time memorizing and studying and reading commentary of scripture as a spiritual practice, and it has been super meaningful and powerful and a way to encounter truth.

I spent 2 years praying the Psalms every morning—I’d pray through 5 at a time (it’s a great spiritual practice, give it a shot!) and it still even now gives me life.

And yet “Truth” can quickly become a way of saying “there’s really only one way to truth”. But if we, as my author friends Emily and Ken suggest, see truth as Jesus sees it—in personal terms, as a personal embodiment of Truth—truth is a “someone” rather than a “something”.

“And when we can see Truth as a someone – then the aim to encounter truth and the aim of all spiritual practices is involvement with a living, personal Jesus.   Truth coming to us in the form of a person, requires all our personal capacities to embrace:  our senses, minds, hearts and bodies. That means we can feel with Truth as much as we can think with Truth”. P. 74, Solus Jesus

And what a blessing it is to know that our spiritual practices can indeed lead to God in a multitude of ways, including Scripture.

This Fall I have taken on the spiritual practice of stopping and pulling over to capture in my heart the glory of God in these turning leaves.  This is huge for me—because I might be the only person on earth that doesn’t like New England Fall. I feel like the beauty of the leaves is only death in disguise. And I don’t like fake representations, so Fall is often a struggle….

But this Fall I’ve stopped on commutes and adored and let the glow of these radiant colors reflect on my face. And often I feel just simply a sense of peace and awe, an internal anchoring: Perspective and hope for my day. And also sometimes Scripture will come to mind, as I’m intentionally making that space with GOD, and it will be so piercingly on point for what I encounter or am feeling that day.

And so I’m thankful for the ways that a personal Jesus and these personal spiritual practices allow us to have space to be who we are, to make space for what are schedules are, and space for where we are with Him on our faith journeys.  That feels like the only way to get the nourishment/the right amount of balm for our souls.

God’s love is vast and deep and wide. His love stretches our hearts to this great capacity, and it compels us to try more ways and more spiritual practices that help us enter into all those dimensions of His love!

Following Jesus is our ongoing choice—to accept invitations, to consider that our lives take some practice and a lifestyle choice, to intentionally spend our time, money and energy toward these practices that will open your life to the abundance of goodness that God has for you”. But can I encourage you today to see that our spiritual practices are actually crucial and essential and always timely, that it is in some ways urgent for the heartbeat and health of our world that we practice sitting in love, being love and extending love.

Congressman, John Lewis asked a “what if” question as a tool for social alchemy: what if the beloved community were already a reality, the true reality, and we simply have to embody it until everyone else can see it?

What if we could lay down our lives for those near us – what if we could harness the love that is within us – and find that in the trees, in the touch , in the scripture and in the words of a friend or stranger –  world around us?

What if spiritual practices set us up well to help the struggle of humankind?

John Lewis says – we need to do this – and it WILL Take practice – that it’s not something that is natural.. He said we have to be taught the way of peace, the way of love, the way of nonviolence.

Because we are wired to give up  on one another, says John Lewis.

So he says, in the spiritual sense, in the moral sense, we have to be able to practice saying “that in the bosom of every human being, there is a spark of the divine.  This is why we practice – to see and to say…. “Yes,, you too – are made of love”.

Chapter 4: 19

19 We love because he first loved us.

The simple statement that John makes at the end of the scripture on your program – is one that is not simple at all , because it is stocked high with intentionality, habit and practice – to trust that indeed he does love us… .

Mr. Rogers would say to his TV viewers over and over again – without fail, every episode –  “you are special”, “I am so proud of you”, “I like you just the way you are…. It’s you, yourself, it’s you – I like.”  

We gain in our practices of being with God….  a deep belief that “Jesus loves me – this I know…”, not only that he LOVES me, but that he “likes me, just the way I am”.. That he finds me special, that God is proud of me – and that I have value…    These things I know – .. because I have experienced and practiced trusting the truth and the love of Jesus…

Here at Reservoir we  hope to set the stage for you to take DELIGHT in the abundant life – that you craft with Jesus .   We will give you some opportunities to TRY and engage with that –  but most of all we hope to clear away any impediments to receiving, allowing, trusting and participating in that foundational love.

This week though take some time to reflect – to orient toward God.  Start with:

Whole life reflection prompt:

Take time this week to reflect on the words, “grace”, “trust” and “love”.  As you consider your relationship with Jesus, how do these words resonate? How have you experienced these words with Jesus?  How have you not? When you engage with others, which of these words are easier for you to embody? As you try the below spiritual practice, try each of these words as you sit in the presence of God.

Spiritual Practice:

Light a candle to represent the presence of God’s Holy Spirit. Sit in silence for a few minutes. As best you can, release any thoughts and distractions. Take several deep breaths in and out. Slowly breathe in, meditating on this belief from God to you, “I love you”.  Slowly breathe out, meditating on the phrase “..and I love you”, as a belief from yourself to God – or yourself to others. Sit in silence for several minutes.

Try 2 minutes to start.

“Love is at the root of everything – all learning, all relationships – Consider yourself to be invited to be God’s favorite student and favorite expert as you discover that love together”.

 

There’s No Wrong Way to Have a Body

Good morning!  What a gorgeous day, thanks for popping in here today, I’m thankful to be together … And I”m thankful that  get this unique perspective up here – to look out at all of you and see this fully gorgeous array of bodies.  A representation of what I could imagine as the closest thing to the kin-dom of God here on earth. A myriad of races, of  identities, of able bodied and disabled bodies, of gay, straight, trans and queer bodies, old and young, bodies of all sizes, hairy – not-hairy, strong and just toddling…  

And my heart skips a beat at this sight.

And what makes the kin-dom of God a powerful reality – not just a lovely sentiment,  – is the attention to taking in the fullness of what this beautiful tapestries of bodies in the room bring with them….    Your bodies tell a story of WHO YOU ARE, of where you’ve been – your life…..

We’ve all  traversed this life, encountering joys and traumas and pain and shame and fears and love.   And yet – we are slow to speak on the terms of these experiences beginning with our physical bodies… our bodies are the nexus of every experience, of every feeling, struggle and triumph.  We are quick to mention our bodies – when we feel good about our bodies… when we’ve realized our passions are birthed out of our bodies..- where we have the opportunity to love with our whole selves the world and the people around us with fullness of relationship and love…   and yet  it’s harder to speak of the reality of how our bodies are regarded in our everyday spaces – where we work, study, in our families.  That often in these spaces our bodies are a battleground, that tell a story of a quest for acceptance, for value and for wholeness in this world.

To build the kin-dom, IS WORK.  What makes the kin-dom so rich, is not just a push for all of us to do a really good job at this faith “thing”, individually …   it’s to come together and hold space for one another –from all our different vantage points, with our lens of living in unique bodies..   and this takes work – and it’s the work of the holy – because it’s exhausting and uncomfortable.    To talk of our bodies – to share with each other vulnerably, to imagine that someone on the other end is truly hearing us and “believing us”… is WORK. It is the work of our day, and it is the work that I think Jesus  – who came in human form, in flesh and bone – calls us to… andhe teaches just how to do that, how to be fully in our bodies – as human beings.

Mariama White-Hammond spoke last week so powerfully  – of Jesus our Savior. Jesus, – THE ONE who is a powerful , transformative force of love and His prime location for that work, it seems is in OUR very bodies.  And Jesus  saves us from the threat of any messages about our bodies that would come against this powerful force of love in us.

 

This is why it’s important to keep talking about our bodies today, because it keeps a/live the message of Jesus.

 

We are in a series that I’ve been particularly helped by and thankful for these last few weeks, called “Embodied Faith”.   Sometimes we plan our sermon series months in advance – I think we batted around this idea of “what would it look like to talk about our bodies?” 2-3 months ago. And I’m thankful for how the Spirit moves – even when those initial ideas aren’t fully framed… how the Spirit fills out our ideas and makes them impactful, nonetheless.

 

So, I want to talk today a bit more about how we honor and value our own bodies impacts how we value and honor the bodies of others.

 

In Genesis we see the origins of our bodies – our cells, and our muscles and our  bones – in the 2nd chapter it says that “GOD fashioned an earth creature out of the clay of the earth, and blew into its nostrils the breath of life.  And the earth creature became a living being”.

 

If we can wrap our heads around the baseline of what these verses offer us  – it’s a message that our bodies come from the earth that we all share, that we all walk upon – AND breathed into our beings, is the goodness, the perfection, the strength and the love of God.  That is our makeup – our DNA…. It is what powers our bodies to be, and move in this world, and it is utterly divine.

 

If you’ve ever watched a toddler – you likely see the fullness of this message in action.  As toddlers we loved our bodies fully. Toddlers don’t have a negative relationship with their bodies.  Never did I witness any of my kids demonstrating self-consciousness of their squishy bellies – or counting their double chins in the mirror – in fact wonder and awe were usually in full display as they discovered – that they had hands and feet – and what they were capable of ….

 

And I think we can kind of dismiss this notion that toddlers are a picture of health in relationship to our bodies.. They haven’t taken in messages of critique, they haven’t been restricted from involvement with life or school or jobs  – or felt levels of discrimination because of their bodies yet…

 

*and yet – I read a book by Sonya Renee Taylor , recently called “Your Body is Not an Apology” “Connecting to a memory like that might feel really distant – and maybe one that you can’t access at all – but just knowing that there was a point in your history when you once loved your body can be a reminder that body shame (as it enters in – through a myriad of messages), is a fantastically crappy inheritance..  We didn’t give it to ourselves and we are not obligated to keep those messages”.

 

And still- it is startling to realize how quickly messages about our bodies – come in and take up residence….      Messages that combat right away our extra-ordinarieness… and suggest instead a message of “disbelief” – a deep disbelief of who we were made to be.   . Messages that say you are not good enough – or – you are too much… messages that say at their baseline , “I do not believe you”, “I do not believe that you came from Divine love and goodness”.  

 

One of my earliest memories of my body was when I was little, I remember standing in my bathroom – naked, infront a full-length mirror.  Absolutely unashamed and happy. And my mom walked in and said to me, “Ivy – you shouldn’t look at your body like that”.

And just like that – at age 4 I took in a message that my body was something to hide and be ashamed of.

 

That window of birth to toddlerhood is likely the free-est we will have ever felt in our  bodies…. Because studies show that nearly ½ of 3-6 year old girls say that they worry about their bodies and becoming fat…   Young boys receive messages this early as well that to be a “real boy”, they should assert power and control, and limit their emotions –  and be muscular and big” in their bodies.

 

And these messages come in from all over – when we are young – they come from those closest in proximity to us ….and soon we take in influences from larger society, particularly via media…

 

I’ve taken time with my girls and my boy, in particular as they get older to sit with them and tell them how loved they are – how their bodies are immensely perfect just as they are, how they don’t need to conform to society’s gender scripts.  And let me tell you  – I feel pretty good about myself after these intentional conversations.  I’m hopeful to be correcting messaging that they might be taking in consciously or otherwise… BUT therapist, Hillary McBride says – “ok, you can stop patting yourself on the back about this”…  WHAT really matters is the thousands of moments throughout the day when you make what you think are subtle gestures about your bodies and others.. like walking by a mirror and poking at your double chin – or sucking in your belly…  or mentioning how your shirt is showing your muffin top” .. THESE are the messages that developing minds soak up…. . “We are relational beings and we develop our identity in relationship to people around us”(McBride),  and a big part of that relationship is our relationship to our bodies.

 

In middle school, I was informed by my history teacher that watching girls basketball games was like watching “paint dry”.  I had just made the varsity basketball team.

And At age 12 I learned that my body wasn’t AS powerful or AS strong or AS good as a boys.

Now, I think it’s helpful to remember here – that mind and body are both equally us.  This is why when we don’t like our bodies, we feel badly about our whole selves.  Or, when we feel really powerful in our bodies, we feel really powerful in ourselves, like we have value.  If our identity is just as much our bodies as it is our minds and thoughts, then when we hear how our bodies are not “good enough” or our bodies aren’t powerful – it’s not surprising that we take 1) match whatever the external expectation is, 2) to function in the world – and 3) for many of us – we take on these masks as a survival technique, because the experiences we’ve had, tell us that the outside world hates what our bodies represent.

 

So by the age of 12 I’ve already taken on 2 masks:

  1. One to make sure I’m hiding myself, make sure I’m not too exposed.  That I’m not gathering too much attention.
  2. And the other mask to placate those that felt threatened or discomfort by my strength and power.

Both masks, in my case were my body’s SOS. A body that was being morphed out of fear.  Who I was… wasn’t… who I should be… couldn’t be… ect…. Fear that I was learning – as I walked through more of my life –  was not just found in individual voices – but messaging throughout systems and structures where I would go to school, work and live.

 

Not only has the very air we breathe become laced with messaging about what bodies are acceptable and valued and what bodies are not … but this messaging has become the backing of most of the systems and frameworks of our society:  

“Consider that the right to marry the person you love regardless of gender was only legally sanctioned in the US in 2015.

 

Consider that people with disabilities have higher rates of unemployment regardless of educational attainment.” (SRT)

 

Consider that a study done this decade – showed that resumes with traditionally European names like Greg, Ann or Emily – would get far more callbacks  than individuals with traditional African American names – DESPITE the fact that in this study the resumes submitted were identical.  IT took 50% more applications from the latter group to get a call back.

 

These are big issues folks!  These are issues – economic and social issues that are about our bodies.  They intersect with our race, age, gender and sexual orientation and a multitude of other ways..

 

Sonya Renee Taylor, this author I mentioned says that:  “Racism, sexism, ableism, age-ism,m class-ism, homo- and transphobia, fatphobia are algorithms created by our struggle to make peace with the body.”

 

All of these “-isms”, send out a deep, hurtful and hateful message that “we don’t believe each other”, we don’t believe that we have the powerful image of God in our bodies.

 

After working at my first college internship for a few months, I was called into a meeting with 3 supervisors – who talked in detail about my attire,  – humiliatingly so- and deemed it as inappropriate, suggestive and troubling. I apologized profusely.

At age 18 I learned that my body is an apology.  

 

For so many of us, “sorry” has become how we translate the word “body”(Sonya Renee Taylor). And it is an exhausting work.  It is hard because we talk about how much we value and honor the diversity of each other. And yet the messages we receive throughout our days and over our lifetimes seem to offer up the contrary. It seems like we infact value lines that dictate “sameness” and  lines that are clear to draw what is “normal” and not normal”- and this is helpful to us because we can all be free of the discomfort of difference…I think we all play into this to some degree we are all drinking the kool-aid, that says “oh, actually…..there is a right way to have a body”.

 

And if we don’t find ourselves on the right side of these lines – these body lines that we’ve drawn –  we might find ourselves offering up apology after apology….

 

And we take in the message that our bodies are wrong.

 

Serena Williams – who may be one of the greatest athlete of all times, has a short 30 second video.  In this video we see simple clips of her playing tennis – and we hear her voice saying:

“ I’ve never been the right kind of woman”….

“Too oversized and too over confident

Too mean, if I don’t smile

Too black for my tennis whites

Too motivated for motherhood…”

 

I can gather quite a few memories of where I offered apologies throughout my life, “for not speaking up, or for speaking up too much…..  I have apologized again and again for the presumed discomfort my body has caused in others”. It’s too controversial not to apologize.   Maybe that’s why this ad, of Serena’s caught my eye – she is offering no apology for the ways that systems have placed the word “TOO” in front of her body.   This tiny word “too”, insinuates that we, who make up systems – demand her to apologize for not fitting our mode of what is “acceptable” and “comfortable for us”.   (that we haven’t actually taken in the story of her body – and how she’s experienced life, how many apologies she’s had to usher out)… We, expect accommodation and when we don’t get that  – we are (panicky) & confronted by the ways , we ourselves have played into, become complicit in the very systems that have oppressed us.

 

It was easier for me –  to be invisible – to wear the masks and to accommodate whatever the outside message of who I should be was..  MUCH easier than ripping off those masks and fielding the stones that said “you are too much” – or “your not enough”.

 

Serena, is living in a female body, a Black body, an aging body, a body that’s too big, and YET a body that is continually, unashamedly –  visible to all of us.  

Serena’s message and other brave messages like hers – disrupt my complacency to accommodate.  It allows me to feel , even with masks on- and get in touch with dissonance I feel in my body.  Of how I present to the world – and yet how I know , deep down in my DNA – how I was formed to be…   Her message shakes and challenges me -it even highlights messages that I’ve been taking in for so long and didn’t realize……   Her message says to me, follow this homing device within your soul – the HOly Spirit – and navigate back to yourself, your origins of love.

And this message is full of power and permission to be my unapologetic, believable self.

 

To follow this homing device within us – gets us to what is buried ever so-covertly, in our bodies.   It gets us to what has held these messages, “it’s better to be hidden” , “you aren’t really powerful”,  “offer an apology to keep the peace”… in place for so long. .. It’s what took up residence from the first blush of standing in that mirror, when I was 4 – it’s’ this root of shame.

 

The work here, to uncover this shame is one that I believe is the work of Jesus.  One that he sets before us in this well known passage – that we’ll read together, of the woman caught in adultery:

 

John 8:1-11, 15 (NRSV)

1while Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him and he sat down and began to teach them. 3 The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery; and making her stand before all of them, 4 they said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. 5 Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They said this to test him, so that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And once again he bent down and wrote on the ground.[a] 9 When they heard it, they went away, one by one, beginning with the elders; and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10 Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, sir.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.”

15 “You judge by human standards; I judge no one”.

 

The Pharisees & scribes interrupt this teaching – they represent the powerful and dominant patriarchal and religious system of the day – and they are eager to uphold and carry out “justice”…

 

Justice it seems in their eyes – is to remove anything that is coming to threaten their authority and position.  Attacking and trapping anyone that disrupts their sense of comfort.

 

And to attain their goal of upholding justice they seek to bring down Jesus – with the pawn in their midst – this body of a woman who was caught in adultery.

 

“Rabbi – this woman was caught in an adulterous act.  Will you uphold the law of Moses which says that this woman should be stoned? Or will you uphold the Roman law?”.

 

“Come on Jesus,  Pick a side. Where’s the line? Help us draw the line!”

Jesus is silent.

 

And instead of talking, he bends down in the dirt (and there are many interpretations of what Jesus writes), John our author doesn’t give us much insight – however, I offer you another possibility, a simple picture.

 

Perhaps Jesus is drawing just what they asked.  Perhaps he is drawing a line in the sand.  A line that will give the Pharisees what they want – to separate out those bodies that are worthy and those bodies that are not.  

 

Jesus I can imagine as he’s dragging his finger through the dirt is communicating to this woman… “you see here, this line – is the way to judge and condemn, this line is the way to maintain power, this line is the way to uphold “a Pharisitical version of justice”, this line is how one ensures that shame will take root in another.  This line creates a system of religion – that will draw lines unto death”.

 

“But this line, dear woman,  does not make way for me.”

 

SO as Jesus stood again, to his feet – standing on the side of the line with this woman – I can imagine him saying to the Pharisees “perhaps you missed my teaching in the temple earlier today.  The lines you desire – to uphold the moral code you care so deeply about, these lines you desire to mark hierarchy, power and status at the expense of other bodies, those lines don’t actually exist in the kin-dom I invite you to build.”

 

Jesus is not choosing a side of the law to come down on – he’s choosing this human being in his midst.  He doesn’t jeer at this woman, he doesn’t use this woman as a pawn, or a trap, or mock her or incite anyone else to do the same – he simply turns to this woman, with his body and bends to be closer to her…   

This woman’s body matters to Jesus – even despite her sin – she is not just a violation of the Law.   

 

The Pharisees plan to trap Jesus – in fact traps themselves – in their own humanity.  Jesus in this simple question , “Which one of you is sinless – go ahead and cast the first stone” – reminds them – that they themselves are in violation of the law too.  Moses Law said that both people involved in adultery should be brought forward.

 

THe job of condemning and judging if for anyone -would be reserved for Jesus.  

 

However, Jesus desists this.

 

“You judge by human standards – which only creates lines against bodies and me…. I judge no one”.

 

And as the Pharisees and scribes exit the scene… Jesus bends down again – Here he is, going back to that line of the Pharisees and erasing it. He’s making clear that nobody and no body will be limited in their access to Jesus.  That his body too, is free and available to all.

 

This is my way:

“The erasure of this line – is the way to liberation,

the erasure of this line is the way to access the power of me – within and beside you always,

the erasure of this line is the way to uphold “justice” – to value a physical, human being in front of you,

The erasure of this line is how one ensures that shame will not take root.
The erasure of this line – makes way for life, with compassion and humbleness bent in a posture that comes close to this women’s face – where she can hear Jesus say, “I believe you”. I believe you are made from love.

 

A year  ago my teenage daughter came to me and said that the boy she was spending time with, “had put his arm around her without asking, and it made her feel uncomfortable and unsafe”.  

My reply to her was:  “Could you not over react – it’s not really that big of a deal….I’m sure he didn’t mean to make you feel discomfort….”

At age 38 I learned that ingesting enough messages of body shame over my life – allows these declarations to become the narrative through which I speak to the bodies around me – even without noticing or intending to…  bodies that I am here to believe in and nurture.

 

THis is the work of Shame – is a thief and a liar,  and it’s toxin laces our tongues – and keeps us a prisoner under our masks.

 

Jesus says to this woman,  “where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, sir.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you”

 

Perhaps when we judge others and their bodies- We lay the same traps that the Pharisees do – … we set traps of shame, we force masks on people… AND we trap jesus too.  If we see flickers in our systems that oppress and hate, that are eager to sanction, ignore and criminalize – we can’t deny that there is misuse of the bodies in our midst.

 

I choked on my words as they came out of my mouth to my daughter.  Realizing I was judging her! Judging her feelings in her body – asking her to feel less – it would be more comfortable for everyone…    Jesus encourages us – as he did with this adulterous woman – to catch the stones… and be more aware of the ones we might throw ourselves  – of shame, of humiliation, control and of hate and arrogance.

 

When we can do this for ourselves and each other – Jesus I think does the great work of crushing those messages down to the Earth, freeing us all to return to what we’ve always come from – dust and love.

 

Shame only lives and survives where there is a judge.

 

And Jesus says to this woman “I’m not going to be your judge” – “go and sin no more” – and not because you are afraid of getting zapped at the line drawn in the sand (drawn by some person or system)…but because you have met me, where there are no lines……..  

And not because you were rescued by the law, but because you were rescued by me, who fills out the Law with love and compassion.

 

Jesus isn’t worried about how much we get right or wrong when it comes to Him  – or how much or How little we believe of HIM…..   HIS hope, is that we would feel HOW MUCH HE BELIEVES IN US.  And my friends, it’s a struggle to get there – it’s a struggle to sift through the messages and the masks… but it’s our work for each other.

 

A year and a half ago – I got caught in a riptide in Nicaragua with my 3 kids…  I’ve told a portion of this story before – of how my kids were resilient and spurred me on to wonder and away from fear in the aftermath.  BUT what I didn’t share was that at one point in the riptide, I realized I had to let go of my son’s hand. I was struggling and I thought I would bring him down with me. .as I let go of him, I submerged under the current and waves – and found myself suspended underwater – unable to reach the surface and unable to touch the ground.

This moment has chilled me for many months since then – not only for the obvious reasons – but because in looking back I realized that I felt no presence of God, no calming, encouraging whispers  – no bright light of hope.

 

I’ve been processing this a lot – and I went through the scene with a friend a few months ago – and she said so matter of factly – “Oh you know, I often think in moments like these we are Jesus”..  And I could then remember that I came to the surface of that roaring ocean – and I grabbed my sons hand back, and I looked at him in the eyes and I said “You are going to be ok, we are going to ride this next wave in” – and we did.

At age 39 I experienced for the first time, what embodiment really means.  ANd this was a deep knowing that Jesus and my body – were one – with power and agency.

 

Embodied faith isn’t just a concept to talk about – it is a force of the Holy Spirit and nature to experience.  When Jesus says to His friends, (on your program) that “they will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon them – and it is then that they will be His witnesses to the ends of the earth,” I realized –  ah, yes they will be able to tell other people about God, once they have experienced and felt her in their bodies.

 

I learned that the Holy Spirit might be silent in separation, when there are lines and messages all over the place about who I am and who I’m not –  – BUT she IS LOUD and glorious and Strong IN my body. The Holy Spirit – is not just soft wind and breath – but she is FIRE AND STRENGTH… And I fully embody her. Fully human. Fully alive. As one.

 

May the embodiment of God that resides in your physical body – in your skin, in your bones, in your cells – be the power that thrusts you out of the paralysis you might feel under your masks – and  the sense of suspension you experience – when you are neither fully touching ground nor breaking through the ceilings that society casts on you – And may your bodies and the STORIES they tell –  propel you into the faith we have in a JESUS who hears your bodies SOS’s and rescues you and helps you again and again BE human.

 

We would be remiss in this series about our bodies  – to only talk from this stage – so today, I’ve invited my friend Miriam who is an exceptional dancer – and I  invite you into an experience of God that goes beyond words. She’ll be moving to a song by Lauren Daigle, called, “Rescue”.

 

**

Jesus rescues this adulterous woman from death.  Physical death, but also death-by-shame. Jesus rescued me in the ocean – physically, but also from the belief that my body was to be hidden, an apology, unequal , devalued, defenseless ….  Every storyline – every narrative of Jesus with us – is for your rescue from death.  This was His own story and our story too. I believe that JEsus wants a world where our bodies can be reclaimed as love”..   WHere we can say to each other, “There is no wrong way to have a body”.

 

Whole life flourishing: In what ways have you believed that your body is “not enough” or “too much”?  Imagine that God, at every turn, celebrates your body and says to you that there is “no wrong way to have a body”. How does this impact the way you show up in the world and the way you witness others show up in the world?

 

(What messages have you taken in about your body? Such as you are “not enough” or you are “too much?”….. etc..)

 

Spiritual Practice of the week:

“Tear off the mask. Your face is glorious.” – Rumi

When you look in the mirror this week, imagine Jesus’ reflection looking back at you – with your eyes, your hair, your skin, your blood, your bones, your body. Fully glorious.

 

Prayer:

Imagine that you could go stand beside your 3,4,5 year old self – as you look at yourself in the mirror… What message, what words would you want yourself to hear.?  What would you want your small child self to know – above all else.

How Jesus Deals with Failure

This summer we have been  preaching out of sort of what might seem like a  grab bag of scriptures, but it’s what many Christian traditions call the Lectionary – an assigned assortment of readings for each day – which in many schedules helps you read through the Bible in a year.  

It’s been challenging and really fun for me to come to the written words of God through a slightly different angle than is the norm for me – through the lectionary. I often feel inspired by something I’ve taken in throughout my week, in the world around me – whether it’s a song, or a poem, a conversation with someone or some beautiful mural on the way to work  – and I often use the organic process of “Living” as the fodder for most of my sermons, wihch means I’m often coming at scripture with a little bit of an agenda, right? I often really try to match a scripture to what has felt most poignant in the days prior to preaching.

However, it’s felt really fun to see God pop out of these sort of “assigned” scriptures and do His own “matching” – where I don’t have to come with a framework or agenda to cram Him into, and that’s felt really lively and rich for me – to find the layers of scripture as alive and pulsing and God doing His great work of speaking so provokingly to exactly where I am and where I’m hearing many of you are too.

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been in a few conversations with folks very close to me who have been wrestling quite deeply with a sense of inadequacy.  And how they feel that their inadequacy has been birthed out of moments of failure – in relationships, at work, in parenting, in meetings, in keeping themselves healthy.

As I listen to these stories – I often treat them as isolated events/moments – that someone has to get through – “yup that didn’t go as planned – but here’s how we can think about moving on, what’s the lesson here”.  But what I’m finally patient enough to hear is that there’s something going on that’s deeper, that this sense of failure is actually taking up residence inside the person.

We all rumble with failure, right? I mean we make hundreds of judgement calls a day –  big and little decisions – whatever the spectrum – we are all bound to fail, but the feeling that people are really talking about when they are talking about an instance where they failed – is a sneakier message – and a deeper feeling that sets up within themselves – that they themselves are failures.

When we dip in and out of this belief – that we ourselves are failed human beings – I believe that failure does it’s fine work of acting like velcro, and very quickly attaching a host of yucky things to it – the hair and the dirt and the debri of the floor. Where shame and isolation start to intertwine – into our sense of self.  And it shifts our belief about ourselves and what we are worthy of – how we interact with others and with God. And instead of seeing ourselves as receptacles of love, we believe we are not deserving of such great goodness or abundant love.

And this is something I think Jesus pays attention to – and has a lot to say about!

Vote For Poison Ivy!

My first – big failure that I can remember- came when I ran for Governor – just after my Junior year in High school.

I was selected to go this summer leadership and citizenship program – called Girls State.  So one or 2 girls are selected from each high school in the State and they all gather at a college for a week  of the summer – and they set up this government simulation.

As part of the simulation delegates all these girls from across the state, role-play election campaigns and participate in elections for local, county and state government.

At the end of the week, 2 girls (most likely Governor and Lt. Governor), are selected to go to Girl’s Nation which is in Washington DC. And as you can imagine, if you were elected as Governor and then went on to Girl’s Nation, it might look pretty good on your college applications. And so I was interested and motivated by this.

I decided I would run for the top slotted official –  Governor.

I’m pretty sure I had no idea what running for governor looked like (I think it was like running for HS class office or something – where I just put my name on a ballot). But I quickly found out that it meant creating a campaign to run on with a campaign slogan – complete with posters and talking to lots of people and doing a “talent” the night of the election, and giving a speech.

And I was all in – really – I put 100% into crafting this Campaign of mine.

So I stayed up late in the dorm, alone, wondering “what does a campaign slogan even look like?  What can I put out there that is catchy or memorable in a really short amount of time?”

And I remember thinking “Aha!! I’ve got it!” And I came up with this brilliant campaign slogan and pounded out some posters to go up around campus:

The next day people were greeted with this incredible campaign slogan –
“CATCH THE RASH, it’s CONTAGIOUS!” Vote for (poison) Ivy!”

“Catch the rash”

Complete with posters that had drawings of people, smiling – with red, dotted rashes on their arms and face.  

There it was – all of me, my brilliant ideas out there for representatives from all over the state of Maine to see and likely remember… for a really long time.  

And the shining moments kept going, really, with my election speech – which I had framed as a montage of all of Madonna’s top songs at the time:

“Vogue”, “Material Girl”, “Like a Prayer”, “Papa Don’t Preach”

(it was beautiful really – the weaving that I did.)

Who knew that this campaign slogan would no find me the newly elected governor of girl’s state?!?

I lost the race.

And even though it is very obvious now – that all of that would not result in me succeeding at this race, I was devastated. It had never crossed my mind in that whole process that I would lose!

I had been really all in – super owning it – and then the “vulnerability hangover” came pretty quickly (Brene Brown reference): “oh my gosh, I can’t believe I just made posters with people’s bodies and rashes all over them” – and that was just doubly devastating.

I cried and cried and cried and cried because I had failed.

And even in the midst of that I knew that somehow the depth of disappointment wasn’t just about failing the race – but a sense that I was a failure and that I wasn’t enough, which was speaking more about how I felt about real life and not about this mock government environment.

It’s with this lens of failure that I want to read this well known passage that we have for our reading today in the gospel of John. Now all of the gospels tell this story – the feeding of the 5,000 – so perhaps it’s something worth mining today.

John 6:1-21 (NIV)

6 Some time after this, Jesus crossed to the far shore of the Sea of Galilee (that is, the Sea of Tiberias), 2 and a great crowd of people followed him because they saw the signs he had performed by healing the sick. 3 Then Jesus went up on a mountainside and sat down with his disciples. 4 The Jewish Passover Festival was near.

5 When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” 6 He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.

7 Philip answered him, “It would take more than half a year’s wages to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!”

8 Another of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up, 9 “Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?”

10 Jesus said, “Have the people sit down, There was plenty of grass in that place, and they sat down (about five thousand men were there).  11 Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.

12 When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.” 13 So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten.

14 After the people saw the sign Jesus performed, they began to say, “Surely this is the Prophet who is to come into the world.” 15 Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself.

16 When evening came, his disciples went down to the lake, 17 where they got into a boat and set off across the lake for Capernaum. By now it was dark, and Jesus had not yet joined them. 18 A strong wind was blowing and the waters grew rough. 19 When they had rowed about three or four miles, they saw Jesus approaching the boat, walking on the water; and they were frightened. 20 But he said to them, “It is I; don’t be afraid.  I am with you.” 21 Then they were willing to take him into the boat, and in the gospel of Matthew , it says they said out loud, “He is the Son of God” – and immediately the boat reached the shore where they were heading.

There are so many layers here! This scripture and this miracle has been taught and preached on so many times.

A miracle happens here – and it’s not just the multiplication of a scarce amount of resources that Jesus performs to feed the crowd of over 5,000 people. If we can think of a miracle as a highly extraordinary event that involves wonder and mystery and that brings very welcomed consequences, then I think includes a moment here that we’ll unpack today.

So we enter this text where the disciples and Jesus have been just slogging it out in the fields of ministry they’ve been busy healing people and feeding folks and teaching as much as they can.  And what these disciples want most, I think, is to rest. To have some time with Jesus up on this mountainside in this remote place and connect with him.

Except of course the crowds follow them, and as soon as they stepped off their boat there are people waiting there for them.

The work continues, much like in our lives – right? Your research for that project is never ending –  it will take a few more 70 hour weeks – your kid still isn’t sleeping through the night and he’s 7, the fight in your partnership is still live and the  way out is not apparent.

And you realize you are really freaking tired and kind of grumpy. And your reserves and your resources are completely shot. And any other request or demand presented to you – can only be seen in your eyes as an opportunity for failure.  “I don’t have enough – this is just going to go badly and fail”.

Jesus’ “Test”

This is how I think the disciples feel in this setting. It looks like their day and their work is still to go on. Jesus seems to solidify this by asking Philip – “Hey do you know where we can buy some bread?”

A trick question? A rhetorical question?  A ridiculous question? Perhaps… all of the above!

What we do know is that it’s a  test question! Jesus asks this to test Philip, knowing full well how Philip will respond.  

Why does Jesus – in the midst of all of this – decide to test Philip and on what?

  • His knowledge of the bread suppliers in the area?
  • Does he want to expose the deficiency of his faith?
  • His inadequacy as a true believer in Jesus?
  • His lack of trust in Jesus as the giver of all sustenance?
  • His inability to be ready for any situation as a follower of Jesus?

These are all certainly viable thoughts, but I tend to think – at least through the lens of Jesus that I know – that he’s not particularly interested in testing Philips on these grounds.

Infact, I don’t really think Jesus is a fan of tests. Certainly not the kind of test that only reinforces our inclination toward a sense of failure.  Or where our worthiness of Jesus’ attention and love relies on our success at every turn.

I think perhaps this “test” question of Jesus’ is more a litmus test of how much real relationship is evident between them – how much vulnerability there is between Jesus and Philip.  

Jesus knows that this question is going to get Philip to a very raw space where the “nothingness” of resources will be abundantly apparent: “Nope – no access to bread makers – nope! – No money – even if there was bread to buy,” and lastly, “nope! I’m not even a good follower of you Jesus,because I want all these people to just go away – they should go find their own food – send them away!” (another gospel reveals this posture).  And perhaps the internal wonder of Philip’s is “am I even then – a good follower of you, Jesus?”

Perhaps this test question is aimed to reveal more of what work Jesus might have to do –  versus the work that he expects of Philip. It’s less about whether Philip has deficiency or failings and more about how much landscape Jesus has to move around and reinforce this truth that he will love and care and be with Philip no matter what.

And he gets some results as he asks this question to Philip, right? “Where can we buy bread?”  Philip doesn’t say, “You know what Jesus, I’m just feeling really inadequate here, I’m feeling really guilty that we didn’t come prepared to feed these people – and I’m feeling a lot of shame around that…”  This vulnerability could have been what Jesus was looking for in their dialogue, but didn’t get.

And so he has data in Phillip’s more logical response – “we don’t have enough money” – which let’s him know that he should spend some more time working with Philip and the disciples.  So he says “YOU then go and see what you can find,” and they roam the crowds, perhaps feeling crappier about themselves at every turn. I mean they only came out with 5 loaves and 2 fishes  (out of 5,000 people!) – my sense is they might have given up at some point. That the mission of finding enough food to feed all these people, would fail – that was abundantly clear – and yet I wonder as they walked through these crowds – if their own sense of being a failure rose?

I’m quite certain that Jesus already knows that if there’s one thing that we are successful at as human beings it’s naming the places that we feel like we are terrible, inadequate and a failure.

Coming to Jesus with open/honest/raw answers from exactly where we are at – whether it’s “I don’t get it,” “this is overwhelming,”  “I want to change the subject,” etc. – I think is what he’s hoping for to break the cycle for us and for these disciples feeling like failures, because by extension with Jesus we start to regard him as a test to either pass or fail.  Vulnerability seems to suck the weight and power that failure wants to take up in our bodies.

**Work places and companies and the medical world are catching on to this key of vulnerability, and are trying to shift the culture of Failure.  Failure as you can imagine occurs in all of these places on a regular basis – there are hiring and budgeting mistakes, and shipments arrive late, diagnoses are missed, organizations allow their missions to drift,  but failure – even though it’s perhaps the largest commonality – is often hidden. Fear of donor reaction is one big reason- but on the elemental level – no one wants to admit failure.

However, efforts to de-stigmatize failure have been at work for awhile – events like Fail Festivals are being held in the international non-profit development world solely to celebrate failure as markers of leadership, innovation, and risk-taking (which all feel like pretty wonderful parts of following Jesus as well) and innovation and creativity and risk-taking all begin with vulnerability.  

Engineers Without Borders publishes a “failure report” every year alongside its annual report.  

Brian Goldman is a MD at Mt. Sinai hospital has a radio show where over the past few years he invites and asks the doctors he has on the program, “What is the worst mistake you’ve ever made?” And it takes a little while for people to get into a space of vulnerability – these failings where there have been consequences of pain and hurt.

These efforts are intentional to bring out of hiding the shame and isolation that people experience with failure, as a way to not only be vulnerable for the sake of revealing a hard story – but vulnerability for the sake of connection – and this being what Jesus hopes most for us too – to stay connected to ourselves, to each other and to him as our whole selves.

Jesus isn’t concerned with whether we fail or not – that’s not the test – the test is whether we can continue to see our whole selves – failings and all – worthy of his love. It’s this turning of culture even with how we relate to him – that he’s not a test to pass or fail – that much like these companies that come together to share of their short-comings, we too need to come fully into the arena with Jesus, from an authentic, fully human posture.

I think this is why Jesus’ miracle doesn’t end when the feeding of the 5,000 is over.  He’s not done with the disciples, right ? He says “Go! gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.”  The miracle is how Jesus with such intention cares for the fragments after the feast.

These fragments are important to us in this conversation of failure. Because they are symbolic of the ways the disciples were breaking off parts of themselves as they felt like failures. Parts of themselves that they came in touch with as they walked through the crowds earlier scouring for food, pieces that they felt shame about perhaps: “I don’t get what Jesus is doing? – I don’t get this ministry teaching at all! – I’m such a failure – I can’t find any food -What is wrong with me?! – I just want to lay down – I’m so tired – I’m so lazy.” Whatever the internal thoughts were – they were succeeding in separating, breaking parts of themselves off.

And Jesus says: go back out there and pick them up!  What are you doing? These fragments are valuable pieces!  Do not throw them away as waste.

It’s such a slippery slide when we start to see ourselves as failures and start to see Jesus as a test that we need the right answer to all the time. It sets up this belief that we are too broken, too fragmented,  so unworthy of Jesus’ love.

But looking at these pieces that we want to discard – is the course correct back to Jesus.

There were 12 baskets of bread leftover – each of the disciples carried their own basket of overflow.  

Jesus I think says, “Know this love I have for you – carry it close to you.”

I had thought that my moment at Girl’s State was my biggest failure, but really I had had lots of moments of failure up to that point that I had never talked about, but felt very deeply. And it had set up a posture of approaching life for me that made me feel like I had to hustle for my self-worth. And so I overcompensate with going big a lot to prove that I could pass the test, that I could be enough.

Jesus invites us to see ourselves as whole through his eyes. This is the “success,” if we are going to talk on terms of success or failure.  To see ourselves as He sees us, to gather ourselves up like baskets, where not one part of us – not even the parts that we see as failure that we want to hide – goes to waste or is lost.

You’re Worth It To Jesus

It’s so moving to me – this picture of how much Jesus cares about the disciples and how intent he is at delivering this message.

At the end of this very eventful day Jesus has got to be spent, right? He’s grieving the death of John the Baptist, he’s taught, he’s fed 5000 people, he’s hiked a mountain to pray.

And yet he doesn’t get out his checklist to keep a running tab of where they made the mark or missed it. He doesn’t take out a checklist to see where they failed or succeeded.

No – he, at the end of a long day – no matter how that day unfolded – he wants them to know He loves them.

And he’s demonstrative in that love:

He runs across water through a storm to get to them.

He quiets the wind.

He says “don’t be afraid” – you are worth it.

He says “don’t be afraid” – you aren’t a failure.

I am with you and I want to be with you.

You are enough.

and

You’ve done enough.

And this too – is every day with you and Jesus. This is how he promises to wrap every day with you.

Many people say that what failure is, actually, is to learn nothing from our times of failure. And so if there’s anything to learn, perhaps it’s that Jesus loves you endlessly – like five thousand times what you could see in yourself, with 12 baskets overflowing!

This is important because He wants us to believe in ourselves – to believe that we are worthy of that kind of reckless love that doesn’t pause and turn it’s nose at the thousands of moments in our weeks where we fail, and doesn’t demand that we pass a test to be given the keys to the kin-dom. No, it’s the kind of love that runs on impassable seas – with what feels like miles of expanse between you – and closes the gap in the blink of an eye.  

This is salvation to us. This is being born again, and again, and again to the moments between each other, where Jesus invites us to sit on the grass with each other and dig into our big baskets – and say well here’s all the ways I feel crappy about myself today, and here’s what I have to offer. “Altoids and some floss” and your person says “Oh that’s just what I needed, I’ve had this popcorn kernel stuck in my tooth all day.” The fragments offered as a part of the whole, this is the ongoing miracle – to vulnerably share with another where we feel shame and still believe that we are enough.

The Shame of Inadequacy

I’ve been talking with a dear friend of mine lately who I’ve known since the age of 3.  And over the years we’ve revisited this conversation of “am I worthy of love?” or “am I a failure”? 

From very early on he took in a message that he was too “small” – both in sheer physicality and in terms of adequacy. And patterns over the years have looked like him finding a way to build himself up – to compensate for this smallness of himself that he saw.  Along the way he’s thrown away pieces of himself that he thought no one could ever love….
It’s been a challenging conversation over the years – because the consequences of this belief that HE’s not enough – that He IS a failure…. have played out in very painful ways.  Ways that look like loss of relationship, jobs, addictive tendencies, jeopardized health – … but even more a continued loss of his own self-worth.

Recently he said “I feel like such a bum – sitting on this couch shivering and sweating and tremoring” – the results of withdrawal from a drug he’d become physically dependant on … I can’t pay my bills, I can’t work – I can’t be there for people I care about – I’m a failure.

I felt Jesus well up in me – and this passage – “Oh no, no, no, – guilt and shame are as toxic a combination – as a benzo and alcohol” – and that is not going to help you right now!”

Go,  gather up all the pieces…That little piece of you – that’s been smashed, rejected, stomped on – throw that in the basket – we don’t want to waste that. And that little piece too – that others have bitten and chewed on – and spat back out again” – “yah  – we want that…

Throw that into the big basket of Jesus — that’s lined with LOVE THAT CANNOT FAIL.

THe abundance of our worth, as seen through the eyes of GOD –  will persist even with fragments…. There’s still a feast that Jesus wants and values… It’s a game -changer –  to believe that in despite of your fragmented self ….. where failure has torn you up – you are enough.

This is the work of only Jesus – this is the miraculous move – full of wonder and mystery – where the consequences are welcomed – BECAUSE this is where hearts are changed and transformed – where we see ourselves as whole and not scattered pieces of ourselves… THis is what Jesus showed the disciples – and me at Girls’ state – and my dear friend going through withdrawals on a couch, alone – I made you for the very work of love,  believe this! STOP! Saying you are not worthy of such goodness – it is the very thing I made you for!

“Where shall we buy bread?” Is not a question that tests our faithfulness to God – it’s a question that tests how ready we are to see, and  break open and share and multiply our loveliness with God – and this whole world.

When Failure Comes ‘Round – What are some practical things to try in the midst to still keep Jesus in your sights?:

 

  1.  Fail out loud and fail forward.
  2. Consider that failure could be a rite of passage to more of Jesus.
  3. Ask Jesus for help – to not give failure the power and weight it wants.
  4. Course correct with Jesus and friends who can be your mirror.

 

TO believe that Jesus sees the whole – not just the broken pieces….  AND for us to see this – we need each other. We need people who can mirror back to us  – the good of who we are made to be and believed to be by Jesus. Again and again I say to my friend, “Oh brother, you are so worthy of love – your are better than you believe – and gosh, I love you for who you really are”…

The poet, David Whyte has a poem that ends by saying, “This is the time of loaves and fishes.  People are hungry and one good word is bread for a thousand.”

 

 

The Power of a Generous Question

For the last couple of weeks I’ve had the pleasure of having a new little commuter with me on my days that I travel over here to the office.  There’s a Reservoir family who recently moved from here to my town of Milton, south of the city – but just shy of the end of the school year, so they decided instead of disrupting their pre-schooler’s routine for just a few weeks of the school year – they’d keep her in her preschool which is over here in Davis Square.

It’s been a while since I’ve had a preschooler in the car, and I’ve never been so entertained. This girl is smart as a whip – and makes me laugh so much. And it’s been a long time since I’ve laughed out loud in the car on my commute! Part of the beauty, likely, is that it’s not my own kid, so everything seems endearing! I’d forgotten that part of this smaller human being land is really taking intense interest on certain things they are into – whether it’s a book, or a toy, a show, or a song! Despite the fact that kids often get a bad rap of having short attention spans, they really are able to hone in on what grabs their attention.

This little girl is absolutely head over heels for this movie/show called Minions.  Has anyone heard of it/them? These tiny little aliens? Creatures? I’m not sure what they are, but they became the stars out of a series of movies called Despicable Me, and evidently now have their own TV show.  Anyway, part of what makes these minions special is that they do little song numbers that are perplexing as much as they are addictive. And I have now listened to the minions soundtrack on repeat, many, many times. It’s hard to explain exactly what this experience is like, so I’m going to play you a little piece of one of these delightful songs:

[Audio clip: Papa Mama Loca Pipa – Minions]

You. are. Welcome.

((You might recognize the music from the comedic opera, Pirates of Penzance – by Gilbert & Sullivan.))

All of the minion songs are like this – it’s incredibly mind-twisting because I want to make it be real words, but they aren’t. It’s “minionese” –  but this little girl has memorized every, single word of this foreign language she has incorporated spotlessly.

Now – that song (and most of the other minion songs) is roughly 1 minute in its entirety.  Our commute over to Davis Square from Milton is 1 hour and 12min.

So I – feel like I’m learning another language, but it doesn’t have any apparent meaning – it’s real curious.

At one point in one of our drives, I started to think that something might actually be happening in my brain – like I might be going a tiny bit crazy.

So I suggested to this little girl that maybe we listen to the soundtrack of the original “parent” movie – the source that the minions were birthed out of…. With actual. Words.

So the theme song of all the despicable me movies is this:  

[Audio clip: Despicable Me Theme Song,  from 2:17 for about 30 seconds]

So much better, right?  I don’t know! But it does at least have words I can understand.

This little girl was stone quiet during the entirety of this song. The refrain “I’m having a bad, bad day” – is repeated 10 times throughout this song.

Not surprisingly – my little friend focused in on this particular line, and it was interesting to me how she started to process what she had heard. She started to ask some really inquisitive, generous questions:

  • “I wonder why that man thinks he’s having a bad, bad day?”
  • “Was he looking for something?”
  • “Was he wanting something he doesn’t have?”

I’m not kidding.  Word for word – I wrote these down, (once we parked in her pre-k parking lot, of course)!!

  • “There are kids singing with him – so I wonder if he talks to them?”

Are you kidding me with these questions. This kid is a tiny genius!

These generous questions she poses are ones that come from her attention and interest in life around her – even if it’s fictional – her interest inclines her to know more about what is happening to this man who is having a very, bad, bad day.

These generous questions seem to slice right to the heart of what it might look like to be interested in someone in your everyday interactions. These generous questions and ones like them seem to offer more than just an answer – they open up the state of the heart of the person in front of you.. . Perhaps we can take my little friends lead – and be invited to revisit and ask ourselves and others these generous question – as ones we haven’t considered in a while.

  • “What are you looking for”?
  • “Where are you left wanting for more of?”
  • “What about the connection/people around you? ”

This idea of a generous question – is one that relies on a posture of mutuality. And what I mean by that is that you – as the question poser – expect to discover as much about your own state of your heart, as much as the other – a receiving as much as giving kind of question.

Jesus’ forte are these generous questions.   They were embedded in the way he interacted and related to others around him…and we’ll get to take a closer look today!

Today we start a new spring series, that we’ve gathered some inspiration around – from a long-time friend of our church, Carl Medearis.  He recently wrote a book called “42 Seconds – The Jesus Model for Everyday Interactions”.

Now Carl’s premise is that if you take every single conversation that Jesus had in the Gospels, read them out loud, timed them, the average length of these conversations as recorded in the Gospels is 42 seconds long.  Taking in to account that some of those conversations were longer or shorter,and that some of what we read aren’t full conversations or what’s recorded in real time – Nevertheless….

MUCH of what we know of Jesus and how he related to people is found in these conversations.

The beauty of what this series invites us into – is not only the basics/maybe obvious points of faith (Kindness, be present, be brave – that STeve and Lydia will be up to share more about in the weeks to come) -but it invites us to think hard about “why”.  … Why does it matter that we take on these postures? WHy do we care? **And I think it doesn’t hang on an answer- but a question: “Who is Jesus to you”?

That’s a generous question! How does that generous question help us meaningfully go out in the world and live these ways out with people around us?

Attention Span:

A couple of years ago, a division of Microsoft published a 52-page report in 2015 that said the average human attention span had dropped from 12 (in 2000), to eight seconds in just over a decade. The report also offered this disturbing comparison: The average attention span of a goldfish, at nine seconds, was one second longer than the typical human.

Attention span was defined as “the amount of concentrated time on a task without becoming distracted.”  

*This study got lots of attention – some believe because it hit at a truth we all know and observe…. That *The true scarce commodity” of the near future, will be “human attention.” (NYT article).  That without a doubt the digital age is shifting us neurologically and not in a good direction….

 

These beliefs have impacted and shifted the way we put “content” out into the world..

IN many ways attempts have been taken to simplify and compress content (whether books, podcasts, blogs, sermons) – down to fit the attention span of a goldfish.

 

Yet others say this is not the complete picture – that shrinking our content might not be the best move… because our attention spans are not getting shorter – they are evolving – they are becoming more intensive, more efficient and able to extract more information more quickly.

So our evolving attention spans are actually nowhere near satisfied with eight-seconds worth of ideas or content.  ANd it’s not a matter of “length of time” – but whether the content is rich and substantial and worth consuming.

This take is interesting to me – because i can see in lots of scenarios where we are perfectly able to pay attention to what we want to—We can totally binge a Netflix series in a weekend if we want to…. Right?  Or in my husbands case, remember thousands of origins of wines, and their vintages and the type of soil that the grapes are grown out of – and the names of the growers and their family stories ,,etc..… when we are interested… (for instance)….

So perhaps it’s not our  attention span that’s in question – but more our interest span.

So if we can flip – and talk about our daily interactions with people on terms of INTEREST spans – I think it tells us something pretty interesting……What happens when we are in a grocery store line or waiting for the train… or at a traffic light….??  Or in the dentist waiting room? At a cafe? In an elevator? Do we reach out to the person near us?  Or do we tend to reach for our phones? Is this attention span or interest span?

Maybe a little bit of both – but it does lean a little more toward interest for me – and  begs for me the question – of are “we are really of interest to each other anymore?”  

And if it’s more an internal/heart matter of interest than attention …How do we ignite our interest span for one another again?  

I think part of what we might discover in that question if we give ourselves time to roam around in it a little bit – is that our interest for one another – might actually hang on our interest (where our heart is), for Jesus.  ***

So we are going to look to Jesus this morning and get inside one of his conversations and see if he can’t help us with this tool of asking a generous question – to help us grow our interest spans for one another …..

Let’s take a look!

Scripture #1:
Mark 8:27-30 (NLT)
27 Jesus and his disciples left Galilee and went up to the villages near Caesarea (says-a-ree-a) Philippi. As they were walking along, he asked them, “Who do people say I am?
28 “Well,” they replied, “some say John the Baptist, some say Elijah, and others say you are one of the other prophets.”
29 Then he asked them, “But who do you say I am?”
Peter replied, “You are the Messiah.”
30 But Jesus warned them not to tell anyone about him.

So there’s a tendency I think to read this scripture – at least for me – and only look at the answers that the people and Peter give.. And I think the tendency then that can follow – is to want to categorize those answers…. Into buckets of “right” or “wrong”.

 

Jesus doesn’t seem to focus too much on the answers given..  And infact I think he invites us to shift ever so slightly these scriptures in the light –  and read them through the questions that are posed.

“Who do people say I am”?  “Who do you say I am?”

WHat do these questions offer us?

 

Offers us the opportunity to imagine – at the very least right now to engage with a LIVING GOD in these scriptures – who might be showing us each a lot of different things!   FOr me – I can entertain the idea that the people’s answer really isn’t that wrong – or bad… that infact within their story and exposure and their journey at this point – Jesus did fulfill the types and symbols embodied in these characters of john the baptist and elijah….

It exposes that they could be actually interested – that there’s conversation happening among the people and crowds…… that they could be curious, (possibly trying to form and label and categorize Jesus) – but they also could be pondering – and leaning in to think about who this Jesus could be at a heart level…..what this Jesus they hear of, could mean to them…

 

And it offers me the opportunity to see that even an answer of Peter’s, which me might consider closer to the mark, “He is the Messiah!” – even if it’s the right theology in the moment  – it might still require more of a journey – more of an experience with Jesus – than a “right answer” can truly convey in a moment in time.

 

AND it allows us to see the heart of Jesus …. To see that he wasn’t quick to categorize,  “right or wrong” – but quick to engage, quick to try to build an interest span and model the value of space and conversation –  for the disciples.

 

“Don’t go and tell anyone about me”.

(yes – he likely wanted more time to do what he came here on Earth to do)…

But he warns really strongly!  Why?

I think it has something to do with this “content idea”….

Jesus might say:
“You will kill my content.”

“If – I, Jesus have content – then it is about a journey, it is about connection, it is about this deep participation at a soul level – a conversation with teh people around me. This is what I am about – this is who I am.”

 

“If you go and declare right now, while people are curious –  that “I am the MEssiah” – and I’ve have had no chance to get to know these people – and they’ve had no ENCOUNTER with me – then what is introduced to them in the word “Messiah” – is as empty as an answer that only seeks to be “right”.

 

“Who I am – does not fit in to an 8 second sound-byte. “

“I am rich – and I am worth consuming – and that builds through relationship and through living with me – and living out a life that values and roams around in questions.”

 

And so Jesus helps me here…..reorder the way I generally VALUE answers….   And invites me to consider that the questions themselves are the vehicle to waking our hearts out of dormancy for one another….. And that CONVERSatiON…. This very basic human method of relating – is the supernatural TOOL that Jesus gives us to build the Kin-dom of God here on earth – now…

 

“Who do you say I am?”

 

This question, is one that not only opens up who Jesus is to us – but also opens up our own human-ness….. That we were made and designed to ponder, to long for things, to be curious and to be in connection –     AND with that as a backdrop It gets back to my little pre-schooler’s questions…  What are we looking for?  What are we seeking? How am I seeing you, feeling you, interacting with you – Jesus? When we can move in those questions – we can find ourselves alive again to each other.

 

If it’s true that as a follower of Jesus – we tend to imitate the kind of God who is real to us…. Then we should be generous to ourselves and ponder this question that He poses, TO EXPLORE HIS CONTENT….“Who am I to you”? – It’s a crucial one as we move about in our world.  It undergirds – why we aim to be kind – why we aim to be present and why we aim to be courageous.

 

  1.  MID SCRIPTURE

We had a conversation around this very question at our table –  several months ago – as a family: “Who is jesus to you”? And let’s just say  we got a medley of responses: “Ranging on the spectrum from Jesus being Lord and Savior …..to….“I’m not even sure Jesus is real”….

 

No where on that spectrum of responses were the labels I would have sought to teach my kids – – if I had taken that route of providing answers … there was no “God is my teacher, my friend, my companion, my guide, mother God, ….the MESSIAH!

 

But what did follow was a heck of a lot more conversation that I don’t think would have happened – had I just dropped who I thought God was…. Our conversation was short on answers – But LONG ON generous questions….and the encouragement was to not tighten content  – but to encourage thinking and ASKING….

 

In Matthew it says:

Ask and it shall be given to you”…..

I always read thru a particular lens – that whatever we need – we ask Jesus for it – and he gives it to us…this still holds true for me… but….

Today – I consider an additional layer – that the “ask and it shall be given to you”… is really about us – asking the questions..  That Jesus LOVES when we ask questions…. … ask yourself – ask others – ask God…. put into words what you are hoping for, living for, longing for, wrestling with, ask why it is you are having a bad, bad day – day after day….   What will be given to you is – I think – an invitation to keep walking that question out – in EXPERIENCE – AND in CONNECTION with a living God who is just as curious about your questions…  

 

The famous poet – Rainer Maria Rilke says, “Be patient toward the state of your heart (where all of these questions lie) and try to love the questions themselves….. like books that are written in a very foreign tongue….((or songs that have NO REAL WORDS)!!!    The point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

 

So I could have tried to reframe the responses of my children, and I would have given  them the impression that answers are more important … I could feel bad myself that I haven’t taught Jesus correctly…. OR I could take seriously who Jesus is to me right now – to move out of that place….and see the beautiful journey in their  answers – to value exactly where they are (and not kill the content of Jesus for them).   Here I can see that just posing generous question is the gateway to the truest expression of the multi-dimensional love of God – that doesn’t hinge on a set of static beliefs… it goes beyond certainty, agreement, common ground – AND YET – it sparks INTEREST in me – of them ….. and it makes space and invites “honesty and integrity and dignity”. (Krista Tippett on Becoming Wise).

 

WHich if I take a step back – I can see that Jesus too, might just be a fan of these things!

 

#4:

This ancient tool of Jesus’ to keep us talking to each other in generous ways…Is a survival skill of today.   In our everyday actions to re-infuse our humanity with a sense of attention and interest.  Jesus asks questions to cut into a whole new level of understanding, not just used as a data gathering or informational data source – this is an incredible tool.

 

We are eager to have our attention matched at every turn – – but in very little ways grow our attention for each other… Conversation is a way to correct this  -to build interest and love for one another into the bones of our society.

Jesus shows us – this again and again….These generous questions are HOLY questions…He encourages us  -Ask generous questions….

 

Now – I get that it would likely feel a little odd to go up to someone at your bus stop – and pose the question, “You know – I’ve been standing behind you for a good 3 seconds now – and I was just wondering , “WHO AM I TO YOU?”

… and yet I think we ask generous questions everyday – we just don’t frame them as such …  A question Like: “How are you”?  – is actually a very generous question!

 

The real intent of that question is a genuine curiosity – “how are you?” – In many Muslim cultures this simple question is an entirely generous one – it means “how is the state of your heart?  How is your heart at this very breath, this moment?” It is a question that can build relationship – it communicates that you don’t want to label or presume what that person might be feeling.

 

I got a text a couple months ago from someone who I was just getting to know and the text came in – in the morning and all it said was, “How are you today?”

I waited – stared at my phone – waiting for the follow up text, of some detail of her life – or a question that I might be able to help her with… and that never came…

“How AM I doing?” (I have no idea!)

It seriously gave me pause – and the gift in that was it actually did allow me to check in with myself – and with God – where was he?  How was the state of my heart at that very moment?…and to pause because someone else prompted that pause – was even more meaningful.

 

Generous questions are the breath of humanity – it’s what keeps us receiving from the world around us – and giving in interest and attention to the world … this mutuality is where the Holy Spirit loves to hang out.  This is how we keep relating and engaged and thinking and leaning in toward each other…. And where we discover Jesus aknew again and again.

 

Jesus used questions to yes, know better the people in front of him  – BUT to also help them get in touch with and know themselves.

 

As we do this – and regard questions as a tool to better know ourselves and aid others to do the same- it will build our interest spans – and it will start to build a world around us infused with MULTI-DIMENSIONAL LOVE…

 

I want to end today – with this scripture  -where we read Paul’s prayer in Ephesians – and a pray for all of us today….

Ephesians 3: 14 – 18 (NIV)

14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

 

It seems strange to to think that tiny, ordinary interactions could build something as majestic as a world of multi-dimensional love – and  yet as a society – we are revisiting and asking questions that we thought we had settled and answered long ago – and turns out we hadn’t.. . . but it’s in the asking that we are building forward…

 

“Who is Jesus to you?”  Keep this question live – in your hearts….ask it again and again – …  Build forward with it… BECAUSE a heart in touch with this question is it’s own powerful content – to the world around it!

 

The Message version says:  “ LIVE  this LOVE – live it’s length – PLUMB the depths – RISE to the heights!!!  GO! – LIVE this love into being…… one that you can’t fall in and out of – and one that is found in the life of every person in heaven and on earth….found in every, normal day of your life.

 

To try this week, if you are up for it!:

 

  1. This week ask people a generous question like, “How are you?”
  2. Give your full  ____ second attention span to someone and be open to radical love.
  3. Use this tool of conversation to be an architect of multidimensional love.
  4. Journey with Jesus’ question, “Who am I to you?”
    1. Grab the centering prayer card and candle in the Dome Gallery.
    2. *also likely to have Carl Medearis book in our library next week.

Shiphrah and Puah: The Courage to Say “And”

(This talk was totally inspired by the amazing, courageous stories from women speakers at the Why Christian conference, 2018).

Courage: the Core Virtue

We are in this great new series, called “The Ways of Passion and Courage” – where we are dipping into some stories from the Old Testament – some of which you may have heard before and some less well-known.  

As we were framing this series – my mind raced to the flashy, well-known, acutely courageous stories of the Old Testament. It was easy for me to gravitate to the stories of David & Goliath, or Moses, or Daniel, or Noah. These are undoubtedly courageous stories that are wrapped in moments of history that we tend to remember that involve decrees, and battles and moments of high drama.

But I want to poke at courage from another angle, a courage that looks a little more subtle and a little more present in our ordinary lives – day in and day out. I think this angle on courage – can help us access courage and see ourselves as courageous beings a little more regularly.

Maya Angelou speaks of this kind of courage – that I’m going to get at today i think,  she says:

“I am convinced that courage is the most important of all the virtues. Because without courage, you cannot practice any other virtue consistently. You can be kind for a while; you can be generous for a while; you can be just for a while, or merciful for a while, even loving for a while. But it is only with courage that you can be persistently and insistently kind and generous and fair.”

Courage seems to be the source and steady undercurrent for all the ways Jesus calls us to engage with the world around us.

Courage seems to be the source – and steady undercurrent for all the ways we hope to engage with the world around us.  

 

Sometimes I think that we might be our own stumbling blocks to courage — that our own limits of courage are our definitions of it.  And, even more, that our definitions tend to skew toward a binary way of defining it. Either I’m “with” or “without” courage.  “Courage” is attached to an outcome that looks like success. It leads to a heroic triumph or visible changeAnd in some cases this is how courage looks, but I think the risk is that we miss a whole lot of moments of courage in-between.

That’s why today I’d love to look at two women — two midwives — from the Old Testament whose names are Shiphrah and Puah, who I think can break open a whole host of helpful ways to think about courage. Their manner of courage isn’t limited to the binary framework of “either/or”, but one that takes over this in-between space — most of their lives — and is anchored to their utter belief in and embodiment of God.

If you’ve never heard the names – Shiphrah and Puah – fear not!  At the beginning of the week I was with a bunch of pastors from this small cohort of churches that we are a part of called Blue Ocean Faith. And when I mentioned that I’d most likely be speaking about these two women, I thought I read a bit of panic on their faces… “who?”…blank stare — “wait – who you are talking about?”

Courage in My Story

So before we get to the story of Shiphrah and Puah, I want to tell you two quick vignettes from my own life. Two that popped to mind immediately as I thought courage in my narrative.

Vignette #1:  Some 20ish years ago I was a Junior in HS and was taking a pretty rigorous math class. I think it was an honors pre-calc class.

It was pretty clear early on in the semester that I wasn’t doing well — like really not doing well — hovering around a D average.

I thought I was the only one.

Turns out aside from 3 geniuses – the rest of the class was failing. Turns out that this was a pattern in this class, over the years, with this particular teacher.

We start to ask for more in-class teaching/explanation.  And after-school time. The teacher thinks that’s preposterous – “It’s the way his system has always worked”.

I think this response is preposterous and I organize a walk-out.

The day following, at the beginning of class, we all get up, pile our textbooks on his desk and walk out of the classroom down the hall to the principal’s office, to talk directly to the principal about some sort of mode of action going forward that might help promote better teaching and learning.

Vignette #2: Just a couple of weeks ago I went to a inter-denominational gathering in NC that invited a myriad of voices to answer the question “Why are you still a follower of Jesus?” Many of the stories we heard that weekend – were stories of deep pain as a result of skin color, gender, sexual orientation and physical sickness, but stories that did not shy away from the REALNESS of Jesus.  Incredibly beautiful, liberated and loving voices that had taken life head on – and were walking upright – it was really inspiring. (Full of agency and power and all the credit to Jesus — wow!) I left wanting to harness this collective courage.

The morning I left – I walked to the hotel check-out desk at 4am.

Right away I noticed the woman who was behind the desk – was being “chatted up” by a man .

As I approached to hand over my key, it became clear that this man was a guest at the hotel, not an employee. He asked where I was headed.  When I told him “Boston”, he quickly did a really poor impression of Mark Wahlberg and then asked me my room number.

I left the desk, headed to get coffee in the side room, mulling over what I should do on my way back through the lobby.

A few minutes later I walked straight by the front desk and to the exit door, where the hotel bell-hop opened the door for me.

As I went through the doorway, I turned to the bellhop/doorman and said “Is she ok?”

OK – I’m going to pause there with these two vignettes and head straight to the story of Shiphrah and Puah, before I fold them back in for what will hopefully at that point make a little more sense.

The Courageous Midwives

Where we often come close to the story of Shiphrah and Puah is with the story of Moses.  Many of you probably have heard the epic story of Moses – this Hebrew baby that was drawn from the water and raised in Pharoah’s courts and becomes not a prince, but a liberator of his people. These peopl are the Israelites, who have been enslaved and considered less than human by the Egyptians. It’s the story of the great exodus from Egypt into the promised land.

This story of Moses is the one we know… But we don’t know the story of  Shiphrah and Puah – the story that sets the stage for Moses to live, and determines the fate of an entire people.


So let’s read the story found on your program:
Exodus 1

8Then a new king, to whom Joseph meant nothing, came to power in Egypt. 9“Look,” he said to his people, “the Israelites have become far too numerous for us. 10Come, we must deal shrewdly with them or they will become even more numerous and, if war breaks out, will join our enemies, fight against us and leave the country.”

11So they put slave masters over them to oppress them with forced labor, and they built Pithom and Rameses as store cities for Pharaoh. 12But the more they were oppressed, the more they multiplied and spread; so the Egyptians came to dread the Israelites 13and worked them ruthlessly. 14They made their lives bitter with harsh labor in brick and mortar and with all kinds of work in the fields; in all their harsh labor the Egyptians worked them ruthlessly.

15The king of Egypt said to the Hebrew midwives, whose names were Shiphrah and Puah, 16“When you are helping the Hebrew women during childbirth on the delivery stool, if you see that the baby is a boy, kill him; but if it is a girl, let her live.” 17The midwives, however, feared God and did not do what the king of Egypt had told them to do; they let the boys live. 18Then the king of Egypt summoned the midwives and asked them, “Why have you done this? Why have you let the boys live?”

19The midwives answered Pharaoh, “Hebrew women are not like Egyptian women; they are vigorous and give birth before the midwives arrive.”

20So God was kind to the midwives and the people increased and became even more numerous.

A little context to where we pick up here: the Israelites had moved to Egypt during a time of famine and starvation. Joseph, who had been sold into slavery in Egypt as a result of his jealous brother’s action, had helped the Israelites land here. Joseph’s time in Egypt was blessed by God, and he worked his way into high standing in Egypt, and the Israelites fared well. And for a while the Israelites and Egyptians coexisted without (that much) trouble.

Soon, though, a new King came in to Egypt, and it says “He did not know Joseph”. This means he didn’t know Joseph’s people or his God, and therefore he looked out at the Israelites with fear and suspicion and saw them as a threat, as the “other”.   

He attempts to limit the growth of the Hebrews, who only seem to grow in number, by dehumanizing them in systemic ways — by slavery, and forced labor, and oppression.  These attempts, however, don’t seem to make a difference to keep them down either.

So Pharoah enacts a fear campaign,  “What if we were attacked by our enemies and these growing number of Israelites join sides with our enemies?” “We would be crushed!” And this fear messaging starts to shift the opinion of his people and there’s more of a widespread buy-in to oppress and segregate.

Pharaoh’s xenophobia pushes him to take drastic measure to ensure these “outsiders” do not one day take over the land, and his latest attempt, as we see here, is calling forth these two midwives, Shiphrah and Puah.  Under government sanctions, Shiphrah and Puah are enlisted to participate in the extermination of Hebrew baby boys — to bring death to the world around them.

Now, the text reads that these women were Hebrew midwives. And yet, there’s a lot of conversation among scholars that suggests that these women were in fact Egyptian, but attended the birth of Hebrew women.  So they were midwives to Hebrew women.

I’m inclined to agree with this take – it makes sense to me that Pharoah would want his own “people” to carry out this decree.

This means  Shiphrah and Puah likely attended both Hebrew and Egyptian births. And midwives were often thought to be women who couldn’t have children themselves, so they were often pushed to the edges of society. Shiphrah and Puah are though to have possibly been Nubian midwives, from now Northern Sudan (reference:  Ebony Johanna), meaning that their relationships — throughout their vocational lives — spanned cultural and geographical lines.

A midwife’s primary role is to usher in life, regardless of status, race or any other defining division — to assist, guide and protect life.

So Pharoah is quite strategic with his newest attempt to limit the growth of the Hebrews. He knows that these midwives are the touch-point to life or death. And he says, “choose death”.

I can imagine that Shiphrah and Puah run through a few scenarios in their minds.  Either we are courageous and we say “no” to Pharoah 1) “we refuse to follow Pharoah’s orders and we likely die and likely our friends and families also die”.

Or we aren’t courageous and we say “yes” to PHaroah 2)“we follow Pharoah’s orders  – we promote the sovereignty of our state – and by the work of our own hands, bring death to the next generation of Hebrew males”.

This either/or choice seems to not be a complete picture of what courage could look like.

Thankfully these midwives seem to know another way to courage deep within their spirit. And I think they utilize this tiny conjunction word: “and”. “Wait!  AND we fear God”.  We revere and love and trust our God.  This “AND” — this belief in God — seems to be a way of harnessing courage, and it seems as though it isn’t only found in this one high-stakes moment with Pharoah – but it’s been built and developed over their lives.

Fearing God helps them see beyond the binary — that courage is far more than a choice of saying “yes or no” to Pharaoh.  It’s instead about saying “and…yes”! to LIFE with God.

These midwives are courageous!  They are divinely defiant! They’re heroically brave in their refusal to kill baby boys,  they’re clever in their explanation to Pharaoh of why baby boys keep being born, “these Hebrew women are so strong and vigorous that they birth their babies before we can arrive!” This is courageous, and smart. That explanation isn’t just an excuse to buy them time – it’s a subversive move to uphold the strength and dignity of the Hebrew people to Pharaoh.

This is the part of the story we would remember — these 4 verses of Shiphrah and Puah — and it is super courageous. It is, after all, what sets the stage for the liberation of an entire people from Pharaoh.

But the subtler courage that let’s them say “and… I fear God” — that type of courage that is developed over time, that isn’t as bold as these few recorded verses — is the version of courage I want in my own life, and what I want to explore more today.

As I mentioned Shiphrah and Puah were likely midwives who attended their own people’s births, but also the births of their “perceived enemies”.

These midwives were involved deeply, deeply at the center of women and their  family’s stories. To just go in and assist at a birth – is not the way of the midwife. A midwife is one who identifies with pain, one who sits with people in pain, and holds hands with pain, and confronts spirits that are full of despair and want to “give up”.  

Day after day, birth after birth, they came along-side the “other” — these Hebrew women, who they should hate. And they take their hands and rub their backs, and they say again and again “and” there’s a way here, “and God”. This breaks open a deep belief that courage wells up from inside of us — that it’s not only found in taking on a piece of armor.  That their God is one who sits alongside of them too, is in their reality — A God who doesn’t just go to the margins to serve someone else – but ONE who LIVES at the margins.

These midwives do this! They live at the margins. And, in their vocation, take on a calling, an oath to “in all ways serve life”. And the courage they dip into is God’s, because they believe that He is truly with them. And they greet pain — the pain of childbirth, and the pain of injustice, and the pain of not being seen with these virtues of God and that Maya Angelou speaks of. This is birthed by courage to say “and my God” – he’s real.

I can wonder if we wrestle with this question in our lives — whether acutely or sub-consciously — does what I do matter?  Does it touch real life? Does it bring forth anything new or courageous into the world?

This midwives seem to encourage us that “yes” — wherever we are, whatever we do, whoever we talk to matters. If we do it with kindness, and generosity, and equity, backed by a God that is real, it all matters.

These thousands of moments where they  offer their laboring and birthing mothers cool washcloths to their foreheads, where they gently turn babies inside of wombs – where they listen closely for heartbeats, where they root for life with their encouraging words, “yes push”, “you are almost there”, “life is coming”.

These times of being so intimately close to life and so close to God flip our ingrained allergy of “both/and”, and re-wire our pathways to see GOD AND LIFE as one — beyond political/authoritative decrees or external circumstances that try to inject fear.

For Shiphrah and Puah, these moments compile and develop a courageous heart — one that doesn’t filter with external factors “Life or no life” or “Egyptian or Hebrew” or “male or female”. Instead the passion for justice and care for all of humanity comes from a posture of  “and” – and GOD.

Omid Safi (a Duke University professor of Islamic studies) said recently that this closeness (to God),  is what allows us to see that the

same love that pours out of God’s own being and brings us here, that sustains us here, that will take us back home. It is this same love that we recognize in other people, who love their babies and their community as we love our babies and our community. When we recognize this same love in one another, we will not stand for having something happen to other people’s babies and community that we wouldn’t want to have happen to ours. That is simply what we call justice — and this work of justice is a task of love. (Onbeing).

The courage to say “and… justice and love” must go hand and hand.  This is the powerful picture of courage that Shiphrah and Puah give us today, one that they still invite us to!

Courage in My Story (Again)

The two vignettes that I shared at the beginning of the sermon  are  interesting to me because they so totally show the ways that I want to categorize myself as being “with” courage or “without Courage”.

I never labeled them in my story-telling as one or the other, but I bet  even you sitting and listening could recognize your own mind categorizing one as “courageous”, and one as “not so courageous”.

In highschool, I was courageous –– I staged a walk out and brought awareness to something I felt was injust at the time. Three weeks ago I wasn’t courageous — I consciously exited a situation where I noticed an awkward dynamic that could have been helped by intervening in some way.

May be very true, but I think it’s a limited view of courage. I’m slowly beginning to realize that the question at hand isn’t either “Am I with courage?” or “Am I without courage?” Because likely on any given dayI am both/and courageous and not courageous.

The question is, “Can I harness the courage of a God that is always with me?”

If I can tip more toward this – I can see the hundreds to thousands of times throughout my days and my weeks  where courage is live.  It’s then that I can see the maybe quiet, less obvious moments of courage that happen all the time.

Otherwise – I think the threat of disparaging thoughts can take over –  “Am I only destined to be a prisoner to the pharoah’s of my day? Will I ever witness more than pain and heartache ?

But the words of Paul here in Ephesians, fill out my truncated thoughts with the power and realness of Jesus.

He reminds me that, I am not a prisoner of anyone else but of JESUS who wraps me in humility and gentleness and patience, who gives me courage to lean toward people with love with an eagerness of heart that seeks to maintain the unity of the Spirit — this powerful JESUS who makes a way, who provides the “both/and to my either/or” tendencies, for the bonding posture of peace — this I realized is the power of Jesus.

This I realized is the courage that Jesus can offer so many of you;

To stand up – get out of bed, walk into a day, into a society that sometimes in the words of Lucille Clifton, “will do everything it can to kill you”… that’s courage and triumph!

To stand up and get out of bed and meet the reality of your day, in a sick body — perhaps penetrated with disease, infection, cancer, a body that is trying to murder you day in and day out — this is courage.

Courage is to stand up and get out of bed. Period. Nothing else to follow – just that one act.  It is courage that is full of sweat. A courage that says “and” — and today, I will rise.

Because Jesus lives in the “AND” – right?  He doesn’t fit in the binary tracks of either/or… He lives in our reality – which encompasses a whole lot of  both/and!

This picture of everyday courage gives us the freedom to sit down and listen, even when speaking is heralded as a sign of power or intelligence. And also the permission to see that some days courage is to stand up and speak, because you’ve been away from the mic for too long.

Jesus makes way for a courage that is ever-present, running through our veins,  on the tips of our tongues, in the palms of our hands as we touch life around us, and in our feet as we roam this earth.

When we can say “and”, there’s another way here with Jesus, another way to keep helping birth new life, “ I can’t yet see it – you can’t yet see it, but it’s here!” It allows us, as it did for the midwives, to ignite our moral imagination.

Where we have the humility to see the world as it is around us  and the audacity and passion to imagine the world as it could be.

All of us and the Midwives

Us limiting our sense of courage, doesn’t serve the world. We are all called to be courageous.  And to believe that our everyday posture of heralding life in spaces where only death looks apparent, will produce change  somewhere down the line.

The outcome that Shiphrah and Puah witness after making their courageous move to not kill these Hebrew baby boys could have felt disappointing to them, because Pharaoh just keeps marching on with his plans to wipe out these babies, demanding that all his people throw them into the Nile River.

But what Shiphrah and Puah might not realize is that their story — their whole story of being women who courageously live at the margins, and who stand against power and oppression — will continue to be told. Their names will be kept alive and whispered among the Hebrew women, their names will be yelled out in the pains of labor, as sign-posts of resistance and hope, (when their land is vacant of it), and  their courage to say …. “and”… “and I fear God”, would give PHaroah’s daughter, and Moses’ sister and moses’ mother  the courage to protect & hide and find and nurse him to life….

These names of Shiphrah and Puah are recorded! We get to see them written down in the text that we read today! This show us that a lifetime of courage — harnessed with the Divine — is worth 3,000 years of remembrance and legacy, and still worth talking about today. While Pharaoh’s fearful acts of dominating power and authority leaves him nameless and less than 300 years of fame.

Perhaps our role is akin to the role of a midwife — to cherish other life as our own, to stand right where we are in our jobs, and roles, and play, and life — and reclaim these places, places of courage.   And to keep live the courage to say “AND” as we continue to find and preserve and nurture life — wherever we touch it.

Sermon Notes – How Do We Harness Courage?

    1. Weep with those who weep”. (Romans)
      Come close to those around you – at your job, your neighborhood – LEAN in.As Maya Angelou and Jesus tell us: Humility, compassion, empathy might be the most critical ingredients to a heart full of courage. Because they allow our hearts to be softened to people and their pain.  Just as Jesus does with us.

      Pay attention to your emotions: are you weeping? are you angry? These emotions they might just suggest what you are passionate about

      From there  — where you realize your heart is stirred — you can figure out where to move from there if you want. What are you willing to do about it? Where maybe are you already doing something in your everyday life

    2. Where can you utilize the word “and” ?
      This might mean you have to take some time to realize where you are categorizing life into either/or buckets.  Try out the word “and” in place of either/or this week – and see what it produces. 
    3. Seek wisdom from people who have diversity of viewpoints.
      It’s likely there were a whole bunch of midwives. We get Shiphrah and Puah because they feared GOD, but I imagine there was a lot of conversation that varied in opinion and viewpoints that helped shaped how Shiphrah and Puah would move forward as they did.
    4. Check in each day to see where it is God is real to you.
      This will anchor you in your high-stakes moments and in your everyday moments of courage…When God is more real to us than the powers we see around us and infront of us, we are better able to choose God’s way of courage – with love, life, peace and justice….

      This will help you believe that the “Pharaoh’s of this time and in this land”, will not kill your spirit.

       

    5. Write down the names of the courageous people who come to mind. 

      These are both your forerunners and perhaps your contemporaries.People who die have no control over who tells their stories, who remembers their names. So it’s an important role we play – to keep the narrative of courage alive in grounding, real stories.Shiphrah and Puah likely had a sticky-note stuck to their mirror with the names of their ancestors, Eve, Sarah, Hagar, Rebecca, Leah and Rachel  – courageous woman whose names were whispered in their ears as flames of hope and movement when we can’t see it ahead of us.

      This is important because it keeps the name of Jesus alive, not just in our memory, but right now, as our unending reservoir of courage and passion.